“All Dark Guardians are,” he said quietly.
“That was really kinda mean.”
He shrugged indifferently. “All they had to do was defend their territory by not leaving. I wasn’t going to fight them for it.” He stepped back. “You break.”
I guess I couldn’t really fault him for his approach to getting us a table. He hadn’t been aggressive, but he gave off such powerful vibes—even standing still. He’d be the leader of the pack.
Although the Dark Guardians already had a leader: Lucas Wilde. But Daniel was right: All the Dark Guardians had alpha tendencies. They didn’t back down from a fight. But they also recognized and respected the acknowledged leader. I’d always thought it took a lot of confidence in one’s abilities not to feel threatened at taking orders. I had to admire Daniel for joining our group and blending in without creating any conflict. The elders had to trust his abilities to send him off on his own to find me.
I smacked the balls, watched them roll over the table, and since none dropped into holes, found myself glad that we’d changed the terms of the wager.
With an almost cocky grin, Daniel stepped up and bent over the table. I moved out of his way.
“Are you the only one the elders sent to find me?” I asked.
He looked over his shoulder. “Yes. Why?”
I shrugged. “They had a lot of faith in you.”
“You weren’t that hard to find once I caught your scent.” He smacked a ball, and it landed in the corner pocket.
“How did you know what I smelled like?”
He hesitated, hit a ball, and missed the side pocket. “I checked out your bed.”
Okay, now I was blushing. I supposed I should have expected that answer. It would have been the place where my fragrance was the heaviest, where I’d tossed and turned and rolled all over the sheets. I wondered if Daniel had done the same—in wolf form—coating himself with my essence. Suddenly I was so warm that it was as if someone had built a fire right next to me. Shaking off the bed image, I moved into position—
“You ever beat Lisa?” he asked.
“Not so far. Why?”
“You’re not holding the stick exactly right.” Before I could respond, he moved behind me and put his arms around me, cradling me within the curve of his body. There was that intimacy again, him acting like we were already mates. I couldn’t explain how comforting but unsettling I found it. How could I feel both at the same time?
“You’re not my mate yet, you know,” I said, my voice not entirely steady.
“Are you uncomfortable with the nearness?”
“I’m just not used to it. From guys, I mean. From Shifters. The girls at school hugged and stuff….” But it didn’t make my legs feel weak, didn’t make me wonder what his kiss might be like.
“So get used to it. I can’t help you through your transformation if I’m not touching you.”
And when he touched me, the harvester would touch him. It would be bliss and hell at the same time. As scared as I was whenever I thought about facing my first transformation, of maybe also facing the harvester, it scared me more to think of something happening to Daniel simply because he was trying to help me.
As he positioned my hands, his cheek was so close to mine that I could almost feel the bristles along his jaw.
“I heard that when Brittany needed a mate, the elders put the eligible guys’ names in a hat.”
Grinning, he nodded. “Yeah. Very low-tech dating service.”
“Is that what they did with me? And you got unlucky again?”
“I volunteered,” he said very quietly.
My heart stammered. “Why?”
“It was a challenge. I didn’t have anything better to do.”
So he hadn’t been crushing on me from afar. Again I had conflicting emotions. This time they were relief and disappointment.
“You really know how to make a girl feel special,” I said sarcastically. “I’m beginning to understand why Brittany didn’t accept you as her mate.”
“She didn’t accept me because she loved Connor. I figured that out after ten minutes of talking with her. Is there someone else instead of me that you wish was here?”
“I don’t even want you here.”
“That’s not an answer. It was a yes or no question.” He was tossing back at me what I’d said to him earlier. “Is there?” he prodded.
The only person I could think of was my mom. “No,” I reluctantly admitted.
“Then relax.”
I gave him a questioning look.
“It’ll make the shot easier to make,” he said, with his now-familiar grin.
He released his hold on me and stepped back, but his eyes never wavered from mine, and I wondered at his true reason for volunteering. Maybe he needed to get away from Wolford as much as I did. Or maybe he just wanted to do something different. It couldn’t possibly be that he was interested in me. How many times had we set eyes on each other before today? Half a dozen, maybe? None of this made sense.
I whacked the ball. It smacked into another ball, sending it toward a pocket, then ricocheted off and hit another, forcing it down a side pocket. I missed the next shot, and Daniel proceeded to clear the table. I owed him breakfast.
“I pour a mean bowl of cereal,” I conceded as we headed back to the room where the band was playing.
He laughed at that. I wished I could relax around him. But something wasn’t right. I simply couldn’t figure out what it was.
We joined Lisa and Eric, shared their beer until I was mellow. The music was too loud for us to do any talking, but I was aware of Daniel watching me, his gaze never straying, as though he suspected I had the ability to disappear in a puff of smoke.
Finally I said, “I’m ready to go.”
We grabbed our jackets, said good night to Lisa and Eric, and went outside. Light snow had begun to fall. I knew the skiers would welcome it in the morning. I tried not to notice how comforting it was to have Daniel walking beside me. Even if the elders had designated him as the one to go through my full moon with me and we somehow managed to survive, I had no guarantee that the morning after he wouldn’t lope away.
Going through the first shift was an intimate experience between mates. We couldn’t shift with our clothes on, so it would be really uncomfortable and weird to go through it with someone you didn’t love completely. The elders could order the Dark Guardians to do a lot of things—but no one could order a heart to love someone in particular.
And then there was the harvester to complicate things.
“So what was your first shift like?” I asked as we headed toward my condo.
Daniel shoved his hands into his pockets, and I sensed that he was hesitant to confide in me about it. I knew I was being nosey. Shifters didn’t talk about their first time. It was a private moment—for the males especially because they went through it alone.
“Scary,” he finally said.
“Is that why you didn’t object to the idea of being my mate?”
He rolled his shoulders inward, then straightened. “Yeah. I figured if I could help you through it—why not? Besides, I’ve been at Wolford for six months now. I haven’t connected with a girl. I’m an outsider. They trust me as little as you do.”
It embarrassed me that he was able to read my feelings so easily. “Are you sure you’re not empathic?” I asked.
“I’m sure.” He got really quiet, and then he said in a low, emotion-laden voice, “It’s painful, Hayden. The first time. Your body feels like it’s tearing itself apart. I guess in a way it is. But after that, it’s just amazing. There aren’t words to describe it.”
I heard the awe and wonder in his voice, which in a way made things worse. I knew without a mate that I risked death. There’s a bond, a connection that develops and intensifies during the first transformation, but it has to at least be hinted at before that magical night.
I didn’t want to go through this wondrous experience with a surrogate. But
that’s all Daniel was offering me. A one-night stand-in for the real thing. I couldn’t even contemplate that it could develop into something more. Because I wasn’t even going to accept the offer for a one-night stand.
When we got to the condo, he stayed at the bottom of the stairs while I climbed them to the porch. I put the key into the lock and opened the door.
“Good night, Hayden.”
I looked back over my shoulder and forced myself to smile. “Don’t forget to come by in the morning for that bowl of cereal.”
His low laughter followed me into the condo. I hoped my parting words had assured him that I wouldn’t try to escape. Because the truth was I had every intention of being gone before he arrived for breakfast.
FOUR
Plan B involved traveling light.
In my room at the condo I stuffed a couple of sweaters, a pair of jeans, and a few other essentials into my backpack.
It was long after midnight, and the condo had gone eerily quiet or maybe it just seemed creepy because of my clandestine preparation to depart. The silence reminded me of Daniel’s stealthy arrival. I wondered how long he’d been observing me today before he made his presence known. It really irritated me that he could sneak around and I wouldn’t know it. I’d always hated this burden I carried, and here I was complaining because the one time I’d needed it, it had let me down.
I hadn’t even asked Daniel where he was staying. Hotels and bed-and-breakfasts were located all through the town. Maybe he had a room somewhere. Or maybe he was simply going to shift into wolf form and curl up in the woods. The village was in a valley, surrounded by mountains and trees. He could find someplace to sleep. I wasn’t going to feel guilty about any hardships he might suffer. I hadn’t asked him to come searching for me.
After bundling up in my outside gear, I slung my backpack over my shoulder. I took one last look of longing around the room. I really had known happiness here. I was going to miss it.
Opening the door, I peered into the hallway. No one was around. Drawing on the hunting instincts of my kind, I crept toward the stairs. Cautiously I descended into the living room. No one had closed the drapes. Faint moonlight spilled into the room, enough to guide me.
I crossed the room and went out the back door, closing and locking it behind me as I stepped onto the deck. I darted down the wooden stairs and headed toward the shed where I’d parked the snowmobile I’d stolen at Wolford the night I’d made my escape. In anticipation of having to make another hasty retreat, I always kept the tank full. But when I got around to the shed and opened the door, I discovered the snowmobile was gone. I swore harshly beneath my breath. Of course. The elders must have given Daniel an extra key, and he wouldn’t have trusted me not to try to make an escape using something that moved faster than my legs. He could have taken it at anytime after he arrived.
Fury lashed at me. I wanted to shriek, to tear into him. I stomped my foot in the snow, a less than satisfactory action because little sound accompanied it.
“Jerk,” I muttered as I glanced around. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he was hiding somewhere watching me now. “Double jerk.”
I wished I could sense his nearness. Only I couldn’t. What if he wasn’t keeping watch? What if he thought taking the snowmobile was enough to deter me or that his charm was enough to hold me?
I was just stubborn enough to decide that if I started walking now, I could reach the next town by dawn. Who knew? Maybe they even had a bus depot.
I pulled a flashlight from the front pocket of my backpack, then adjusted the straps and weight on my shoulders. I trudged toward the trees. I was familiar enough with the area to know that the woods would provide me with some cover that the main road leading out of town wouldn’t. Eventually I would connect with the winding road.
I was walking among the trees where the lights from town didn’t penetrate when I finally switched on the flashlight. It was amazing how black the night could be when only a sliver of moon was in the sky. I had a terrific sense of direction, part of my natural wolfish instincts. I wasn’t afraid of getting lost.
But the air was cold and I couldn’t feel my nose. Several more hours of this wasn’t the smartest thing I’d ever planned. And Daniel probably figured I was too smart to do something this stupid, so there was a chance that he wasn’t watching me. The woods were filled with a thick silence. Somewhere a twig snapped—no doubt beneath the weight of snow and ice.
I’d always been comfortable in the woods, but suddenly a chill skittered down my spine. My breath hadn’t been visible in the frigid dry air, but now it was. Just little wisps of fog. If it was at all possible, everything went even quieter. I couldn’t explain it, but it was as though I’d suddenly been submerged in water. My ears had a strange ringing to them.
Then I saw the bluish gray mist rolling in slowly along the ground between the trees. I stopped dead in my tracks. It was a strange sight in the crispness of the snow-covered landscape. It crept silently, and yet it was almost like a living, breathing thing. Ominous. Creepy. It was only as high as my knees, but still I didn’t want to walk through it.
It reminded me of the harvester’s retreat. But it couldn’t be here. It couldn’t have found me.
The flashlight flickered and went dark. All I had now was a spark of moonlight. Yet the fog somehow seemed more visible.
Time to go.
I spun on my heel and slammed into something hard. Strong arms came around me.
Shrieking, I broke free, lashed out—
“Hey! Easy, easy!”
Recognizing Daniel’s voice, I stopped flailing my arms and kicking. I sank against him, my breathing harsh. Taking the cold air so deeply into my lungs made my chest ache.
“Did you see it?” I asked.
“See what?”
I lifted my head to get a better look at him, but the darkness kept us both in shadows. “There.” I turned around to point, and everything inside me stilled.
There was no fog, no mist. Only my flashlight, now working, resting on the ground where I’d dropped it, its light pointing toward the depths of the forest and revealing nothing beyond the snow and skeletal trees. A snow bunny hopped through the beam, and I nearly came out of my skin.
“You’re afraid of a little bunny rabbit?” Daniel teased.
“I’m not afraid of anything. It’s just that…there was something there.”
Walking past me, he bent and snatched up my flashlight. “Like what?”
Okay, fog sounded even less dangerous than a rabbit. And since he wasn’t there the night of the harvester attack, he hadn’t seen what I and the others had. But still I confessed, “It looked like mist.” Coming for me. Or at the very least, blocking my path. And now it was gone.
“‘Looked like’? You think it was something else?”
I shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d picked up on my wording. We came from a world where everything wasn’t exactly as it appeared.
“I don’t know. I mean, it was there and then it wasn’t.” I felt uncharacteristically paranoid.
He glanced around. I heard his deep intake of breath, knew he was scenting the air.
“I smell only the rabbit…and an owl. If that rabbit’s not careful, it’ll end up as a late-night snack.” He handed me my flashlight. “So what are you doing out here? Taking a break from sleep?”
“Ha! Very funny,” I said, turning on my heel and trudging back to the condo. “I was just out hiking.”
His deep laughter rolled through me. “I’m beginning to think you’re a compulsive liar.”
“I work during the day. It’s the only time I can enjoy the outdoors.”
“Yeah, sure. Why can’t you just accept that we’re in this together?”
Because we’re not. I didn’t answer him. Instead I came to a stop, swung around, and studied the trees again. Everything seemed peaceful and quiet. Natural.
“You really were spooked,” Daniel said.
“It was weird. It was like
the night I saw the harvester.”
His whole body language changed. He was suddenly very alert. “You think it’s here?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how it finds us. I just know that for a couple of minutes back there, it felt as though I wasn’t alone.”
“You weren’t. I was following you.”
I glared at him, before continuing back to the condo. “You could have alerted me to your presence sooner.”
“Wanted to see what you were up to.”
I came out of the forest near the shed. “You stole my snowmobile,” I said tartly. “I should report you to the police.”
“You’re going to report I stole a snowmobile that you stole?” Daniel asked. “I don’t think so.”
“When did you do it?” I asked.
“Before I went in for hot chocolate.”
“So you knew where I lived before we walked home.” He didn’t say anything. “Is there anything about me you don’t know?”
“Sure. Your dreams. Who gave you your first kiss. Your favorite movie. Mine is Avatar, by the way. Awesome special effects.”
It was so difficult to stay irritated with him when he was so comfortable around me. But I was determined not to be distracted from my purpose by his charm. I marched over to the stairs. Guilt pricked my conscience. I stopped and studied him. “So where are you staying while you’re here?”
He shrugged. “Around.”
So I figured he’d probably been guarding me in wolf form and shifted back when he saw me going into the woods. In wolf form we had the ability to communicate telepathically with others in wolf form. I’d also heard that some true mates could read each other’s thoughts while in human form. But to communicate with me now, Daniel had to be in human form.
I was still mad at him for taking my snowmobile, but he was just following orders. There was an old saying about keeping your friends close but your enemies closer. Daniel wasn’t the enemy, but I was beginning to think that knowing exactly where he was would work in my favor. “You could sleep on the couch if you want.”
He grinned. “Such a sweet invitation.”
Okay, so I’d sounded a bit petulant. “Look, I’m mad about the snowmobile, but I’m trying to be nice.”