Chapter 9
Kateri reached for the knife in Ren's boot.
"Easy," the older man said, holding his hands out to show her that he was unarmed-not that that meant much, given what she'd seen over the last day. Some of the most lethal things after her hadn't been armed.
Oh, for the days when people fought with weapons she could actually see. . . .
But the man didn't appear to be threatening her.
Please don't let looks be deceiving. She was really tired of being attacked and all she wanted was five minutes to regroup.
To be honest though he appeared rather pleasant. Friendly, even. Clean-shaven and tall, he wore his long gray hair loose about his shoulders. The front of his hair was pulled back from his face and secured at the crown of his head with a set of three feathers. Two white and one black. Something about him seemed old, even though physically, he looked around forty. "Do you not know who I am?"
She started to shake her head no until something in her mind flashed to her childhood. To images of this man watching over her from the shadows-only his hair had been dark and he'd been younger . . . closer to her age. All throughout her life, she'd caught tiny glimpses of him from time to time. Usually whenever she was upset or extremely happy.
She'd even glimpsed him at her graduations . . . and at her birthday parties in the park.
He'd always been a shadow figure in the background-more illusive than real. She even had an indistinct, fuzzy image of him in one of her old photographs. "My grandmother called you my guardian angel. "
His gaze turned warm and gentle. "Oh, sweetie, I am definitely that. But I'm also your father. "
Yeah, right. Did she look like Luke Skywalker? Uh-uh. No. This was too much. Out of all the other weird things that had happened to her since she woke up, this . . . this was the straw that broke it. She refused to believe him. Her father had run off and abandoned her when she'd been a baby. Something her mother had never gotten over.
This was not her father.
Shaking her head in denial, she scampered over Ren's body, to put him between them. Not that he offered much protection while he was unconscious. Still, she felt better with him providing some form of a barrier between her and Captain Weirdo Liar.
The man claiming to be her father took one step forward, then froze as he saw her reaching for Ren's knife. "Kateri, please. I'm not strong enough to fight you and stay here. You have to listen to me. I don't have long and there's much I have to tell you. "
She kept her hand on the knife's hilt, but left it in its sheath. "What do you mean?"
"I'm no longer corporeal. I haven't been since I physically vanished from your life-something I did not do voluntarily. I swear. I loved you and your mother. More than anything. If I'd had any choice in the matter, I would never, ever have left you. And I've come to you every time I could. As long as I could. " He gestured to Ren. "It's why I sent Makah'Alay to you. Even though we were once enemies, he is the only one I trust now to keep you safe. He's the only one capable of saving you. "
"I don't understand. "
"I know, baby. It's all confusing. " He sighed wearily. "Things did not turn out the way I wanted them to. But then life so seldom cooperates with our plans for it. " He took another step toward her. With the greenish light now at his back, she realized he was translucent.
"You're a ghost?"
"In a manner of speaking. " Tears filled his eyes as he swallowed hard while staring at her as if he couldn't believe she was here in the cave. "You're so beautiful . . . just like your mother. I should never have interfered, but I couldn't help it. The moment I saw your mother, I fell in love with her. No one could resist her smile, least of all me. I knew what I did was wrong and I couldn't stop myself. And you were the sweetest bonus that I never expected. "
Her own eyes watered as tears choked her. Was there any truth to what he said? Could there be?
He jerked his chin toward Ren. "Makah'Alay thinks that he needs me to reset the calendar, but I'm not the necessary one. You are. For the first time since the Great Dawn, the Guardian and the Ixkib are united in one person. While they are dormant for now, you have all my powers, as well as all of your mother's and grandmother's, and when the time comes and you need them, they will be there for you. No one has ever been so strong. But you're the one who has to believe that those powers are yours to command. Let no one tell you otherwise. And you, alone, will have the power to designate the new Guardians for the gates. Choose better than I did. I allowed myself to be blinded by hope. You're more pragmatic than I ever was. And you do me prouder than any child has ever done their parent. "
His gaze returned to Ren. "While I trust Makah'Alay for now, be cautious, little one. His heart was turned once. It makes it easier for it to be turned again, and having met your mother and being unable to resist her even though I knew I should have, I completely understand him now. And that knowledge scares me. There is still much inside him that is angry and dark. So long as it lives in his heart, he will never be free. And he will never be truly safe. Artemis isn't the only one who owns a piece of him. "
Her heart pounded at his words. If she couldn't trust Ren, who could she trust?
And there was still the biggest puzzle of all. "What about the stone everyone wants? Where is it?"
He smiled at her. "You will discover it when the time is right. Your grandmother took care of that for you. Your enemies can't find it. Only you can. "
The walls around them began to flicker. Images flashed across them so fast, it was hard to focus on any one. She saw Ren fighting her father. Blood soaked them both as they tried to tear each other apart. It was a brutal, gladiatorial fight.
Her father laughed. "He is the only one who ever defeated me in battle. "
She scowled at that. "I thought you won. "
He shook his head. "No. By all rights, he had won the fight and defeated me, but I tricked him at the end. Like everyone else in his life, I lied to him and used his insecurity against him so that he faltered and defeated himself. That is his only weakness, and it's the one you can use should you need to kill him. "
That thought horrified her. "Kill him?"
Her father gestured to the wall on his left.
The scenes flared bright. And then, larger than all the others, was an image of Ren staring straight at her. The wind blew his long black hair around his shoulders and handsome face. He was dressed in a light brown buckskin suit that was decorated with elaborate red and black embroidery. The fur of a jaguar hung over his shoulders and was secured to his suit by two ornate brooches. Like her father, he had three feathers in his hair, only his fell from his left temple. Two black and one white. He wore a red stone in the shape of a teardrop from a leather cord around his neck. It was reminiscent of a drop of blood.
In his right hand was an ornately carved black bow and in his right was a pure white arrow. But it was his eyes that pierced her. One was as blue as a perfect summer sky and the other was as red as blood. They seared her with his anger and hatred.
Kill the jaguar. That voice was demonic and cruel as it directed Ren.
He nocked the arrow and aimed it straight for her heart.
Her father started to fade. "If the Grizzly takes him over again, you will have to kill him, Kateri. You are the only one who can. Kill him. Stab his heart and he will be no more. If you don't, he will destroy the world of man, and he will kill you. Remember that I love you, daughter. Always. "
Then her father was gone completely.
Ren's image stayed on the wall with that one red eye glaring at her. "You will not weaken me!" he snarled, then he let loose his arrow.
Kateri ducked instinctively. But it was just an illusion. No part of it was real.
None.
Except for the man who slept beside her. Her hand trembling, she brushed the hair back from his battered face. So he really was the Makah'Alay she'd seen in her visions and dreams. How weird
to know him so well and yet not know him at all. To have someone from her dreams here in the flesh . . .
Makah'Alay.
That was also the name of a demon her grandmother had told her about when she was a little girl. He is evil to the core of his soul. Those who see him, die by his hand. Always. He takes pity on none and can control the raven mockers. Fear him, Waleli. Pray you never meet him. And if you do, run with everything you have.
Could he be the same creature her grandmother had warned her about?
Swallowing hard, she ran her hand over his sculpted jaw where only a few whiskers were there to tease her skin. Asleep like this, he looked more boyish than threatening. More human. But awake, he could be terrifying and overwhelming.
And with that thought came another image of him with both eyes so red, they glowed. He stood with his legs apart and body tensed as if about to battle an unseen enemy.
"What did you do to make them all fear you so?" Why had he done it?
Kateri sighed as she tried to sort through information that came at her so fast, she felt like she was in the middle of cramming for finals. If she learned one more thing, her brain was going to shut down in revolt and leave her a drooling vegetable on the floor.
Needing a minute to clear her head, she stretched out by Ren's side. But it wasn't comfortable. The hard, earthen floor was cold and gritty. In fact, it said it all about how much he needed sleep that he could be out so soundly on something so miserable.
Ugh, this is not going to work. She tried everything she could think of, twisted into every position. She put her arm under her head, then took it out.
Useless.
Until she slid her gaze to Ren's lush body. Yeah, that was the only thing in this dismal place that looked appealing. Desirable . . .
Inviting.
Don't do it. He's bleeding.
True, but there were areas of his body that weren't blood-soaked. Areas that were . . .
Comfy-looking. Before she could stop herself, she rolled him over, onto his back, then scooted closer so that she could use him for a pillow.
Oh yeah, much better.
And in the next second, she took a deep breath, then was out cold.
* * *
Ren came awake slowly. His body was still aching. Damn it. He felt like someone had beat the hell out of him, which they had. Literally. Or more appropriately, he'd beat the hell out of the demon.
I should have beat the bastard harder. . . .
Wincing from the pain of his ribs and back, he opened his eyes, then froze at the last thing he expected to see.
Kateri was snuggled up against him with her head on his shoulder. Her left hand rested in the center of his chest while her breath tickled the flesh of his neck.
His body hardened so fast and furiously that he sucked his breath in sharply. Against his best efforts, an image of her naked and writhing, and in his arms, went through him. He could just imagine her running her hands over his back while he made love to her.
That did nothing to help his discomfort.
Or his mood.
He tried to think of something unpleasant. His father. His brother. Grizzly . . .
Smelly socks.
Nothing worked. Not while he could feel her on top of him like a familiar lover who was completely at ease with his company. Biting his lip, he pressed his hand against his swollen groin, trying to force his will on the treacherous beast that couldn't listen to him. Or if it did, then it was definitely mocking and ignoring his wishes right now.
I should have gelded myself after Windseer left.
True. It wasn't like he'd ever needed it. It'd only gotten him into trouble and it reminded him of just how alone he really was in this world.
How different he was from other men.
All of a sudden, Kateri stretched like a languid cat, arching her back and pressing her body closer to his. Something that also gave him a perfect view down the neckline of her shirt, straight to her purple lace bra and a set of tawny breasts that made his mouth water for a taste.
He clenched his hand into a fist to keep from obliging himself with a grope he was sure would get him bitch-slapped. And justifiably so.
With a contented sigh, she slid her hand over his chest, brushing against his nipple.
Ren moaned deep in his throat as tortured pleasure erupted through his entire being. Oh yeah, he was dying now. This . . . this was hell.
At the sound of his hiss, Kateri opened her eyes instantly and met his gaze with a startled gasp. "Oh, hey. " She relaxed into a sweet, welcoming smile. "Morning, Sunshine. Ready to take on the day?"
Gah, she was a morning person. . . . Kill me. How could anyone wake up in such a pleasant mood? He'd never understood that disposition.
Not that it mattered. Right now, he couldn't respond had he wanted to. Not while his body was so aroused.
"Are you feeling better?" she asked in that chipper voice that hadn't been annoying yesterday when it hadn't been so early.
And the answer was simple. Hell, no. But that wasn't what she was referring to and he knew it.
There's no need in being an asshole to her. Not her fault you're horny.
Yeah, well, bullshit on that. He wouldn't be in this condition without her. She was definitely the reason for his raging hard-on. However, it wasn't her fault she felt really good in his arms or that she was unbelievably sexy with her hair tousled around her face, her cheeks flushed from sleep.
So he gave her a grudging, "Yes. "
She flashed him an adorable grin that made his cock jerk in response.
Down, boy. No need in making us both miserable. You're not going anywhere so you might as well deflate and save us our dignity.
She stretched again. "By the way, did you know you talk in your sleep?"
He arched a brow at that. Since he'd never spent the night with another person, he'd had no idea of it. Please tell me I didn't stutter there, too. That was all he needed.
"So who's Windseer?"
Oh wait . . . it just got worse. But at least that question finally succeeded in icing his hormones. It slapped him down faster than an arctic bath. How horrifying to talk about that bitch in his sleep to the Ixkib.
I'd rather stutter. . . .
"She's no one. "
Kateri gave him a doubting stare. "It didn't sound like no one. You called out to her like you wanted her badly. Is she an old girlfriend?"
Great. What the hell was wrong with his subconscious? Why would any part of him want Windseer for anything except to slaughter the bitch where she stood?
Your unconscious is even dumber than you are. And that was an accomplishment, given his average daily stupidity.
Grinding his teeth in anger at himself, Ren curled his lip. "She's nothing to me. I don't want to think about her. "
Kateri sucked her breath in at the hatred in his tone. Obviously, Windseer had hurt him.
Badly.
She detested the fact that she'd inadvertently kicked him by mentioning the woman's name. "Sorry. Duly noted and now permanently removed from my vocabulary. " As was anything that had "wind" attached to it and that included her own middle name, Wynd. No need in making him this upset ever again. She'd had her inherent share of bad relationships she didn't want to revisit. So she fully understood his need not to go to the past. It was an ugly place sometimes.
And people could be total jerks when they wanted to.
She started to move away, but he caught her in an iron grasp that startled her even more than his tone had. To her shock, he kept her by his side.
His gaze searched hers as if he sought something he'd lost. "Why are you on top of me?"
Heat scalded her cheeks as she realized just how intimate they were in this position. "You were comfy. The floor wasn't. . . . And I was cold so I figured you were too. " She bit her lip as that heat lit her entire body up and she realized that her excu
se wasn't really viable. "I was trying to conserve body heat for both of us. "
Yeah, it sounded phony to her too.
His breathing ragged, he brushed his hands through her tangled hair. The desire in his eyes set her own heart to pounding. Gracious, he was hot and unsettling. Or rather her body's reaction to him was unsettling. She never responded to a man like this.
But there was something about him that was irresistible. Something that called out to her against all sanity and rationale. Right now, all she wanted to do was nip that chin and explore every inch of his hard body.
"What have you done to me?" he breathed.
She frowned at his agonized tone. "Nothing. "
He shook his head. "I've never had trouble as an immortal remaining celibate. But all I can think about is being inside you. "
She should be offended by that. Instead, those words made her heart race even faster. It was nice to know she wasn't the only one having issues with their close proximity. It would really stink if she was.
And those words made her twice as curious. "You've been celibate? How long?"
"Eleven thousand years. "
Kateri choked on his answer. Holy . . .
Was he serious?
She'd expected him to say a few months . . . tops. Given the way he looked and the way he moved, she wouldn't have been surprised had he said a few hours.
But centuries? Really? Thousands upon thousands of years?
No . . .
Who could do that? How could he do that in that body? As gorgeous as he was, women had to be throwing themselves all over him. All the time. What did he do? Beat them off with a whip?
Her look turned chiding. "Well, honey, that's probably your problem. Been a little long between uh . . . well . . . you know-and I know you do. I admire your fortitude. I do. A lot. Not many people could do what you've done, and it explains a lot about why you're not a happier person. "
He snorted at her attempted humor. "Don't be impressed. The last time I slept with a woman, I damn near destroyed the world because of it. When you do something that record-breakingly stupid, it tends to stay with you awhile. "
Yeah, but thousands and thousands of years?
That, right there, told her exactly who and what Windseer was to him. She must have been the one who had led him astray and burned him to a level so foul that he had never gotten over it. "Out of curiosity, why would you have tried to destroy the world?"
"Ever attempted to hunt down a parking space at Christmas? Buy a shirt in a store the day after Thanksgiving? Those two things alone will make you doubt the humanity of humans, and question if survival of the species is in anyone's best interest. What are we fighting for, anyway? Better department store sales?"
He did have a point.
Still . . .
Ren hesitated before he continued with his sarcasm. A part of him wanted to lie to her, and keep the topic light. Not because he didn't trust her, but because he didn't want to face the truth himself. The why was what burned the worst in his memory and heart. What cut him the deepest.
If there had ever been a Dumbass of the Day Award, he'd be in the Hall of Fame for it.
But before he could catch his tongue, it betrayed him. "Honestly? I did it to prove to her that I was a man and not a spineless piece of shit. "
"Did it work?"
He shrugged. "I never saw her again, so I guess in her eyes it was futile. But I got my point across to all the others who thought I was weak. Nothing like a good ass-kicking to put fear into others. " But that wasn't the same as respect. He'd gone from being a pathetic milksop to a homicidal psycho, and learned that the only things that changed were the names they called him and the tone and volume level they used when they did so.
Neither position was desirable or enviable. Both left you isolated, lost, alone, and insecure. No one to trust.
No one who gave a shit about you. The only real difference was that when they thought you weak they didn't try to kill you when your back was turned.
Sighing, he released her, then rolled over and rose to his feet. She got up and dusted herself off.
When he started to walk away from her, she put her hand on his arm to stop him.
"For the record? You're not a pathetic wretch, Ren, and you don't have to end the world to prove it. "
He snorted at her naivete, but a part of him he didn't want to acknowledge took flight over her kindness-even if it was feigned. "I have the blood of three competing pantheons, two of which are born warring, flowing through my veins. Since the hour of my birth, I've been at war with myself. You want to know why I stutter?"
"Why?"
"I was suckled for a year by a demon. Her milk infected me with her venom and it was her language I learned first. It's so radically different from anything human that I was five before I could even begin to comprehend our speech patterns. By that time, they all thought I was slow and stupid because of it. Then when I finally learned how to make their sounds, I stuttered with them because I have to translate from demonspeak to human. It's taken me a million lifetimes to speak without hesitation. And still whenever I think or dream it's never as a human. " His gaze burned her. "Because of what Artemis sent to care for me, I became a conduit of evil. That is my true nature. "
She shook her head. "I don't believe you. If you were truly evil, you wouldn't fight that nature. You'd go with it and let it swallow you whole. Yet you don't. You came for me when you didn't even know me, and rescued me. You have fought for strangers for centuries. How is any of that evil?"
"I killed my own father while he begged me for mercy. "
Kateri hesitated at his confession. But as soon as she felt compassion, she remembered her visions of his father's cold brutality. "The same father who left you to die in the woods alone when you were a defenseless infant? The one a demon had to threaten in order for him to care for you?" One who had abused and belittled him? "Pardon me if I don't shed a tear for that bastard. I mean c'mon, Ren, really? You've kept yourself celibate for eleven. Thousand. Years. Eleven," she repeated.
He scoffed at her tone. "You don't have to keep saying it. Believe me, no one is more aware of how long that is than I am. "
"Yeah, well, excuse me for being impressed. That kind of self-control is off the grid. Seriously, off-grid. Especially to a woman who can't pass by a donut without having a bite of it. Sad, but true. "
He snorted at her disbelieving tone. "It wasn't as difficult as you think. Trust me. It's kind of hard to have sex when no woman wants to be seen in public with you, never mind share your bed. "
Yeah, right. What woman in her right mind would turn down all that yummy goodness? He was far more tempting than even a chocolate-drenched donut.
"Obviously you've been living in a closet. Alone. " The instant those words were out of her mouth, she saw Ren in his past. . . .
He was with his friend who spoke to him in sign language.
His friend kept glancing over to a group of women who were shopping at a nearby vegetable stand. Two of them were insanely beautiful-the kind of perfectly formed women every woman wanted to be, but only a tiny handful were lucky enough to attain. The third was cute, but she paled in comparison to the two goddesses flanking her.
"Go on, Makah'Alay," his friend urged him. "It's a perfect opportunity to speak to her. "
Ren shook his head.
His friend rolled his eyes. "You are the fiercest fighter we have . . . fearless in battle. Eldest son of our chief. Are you honestly telling me that you're so scared of a woman that you won't even go talk to her? Really? You're going to let a mere woman cow you?"
Rage darkened his gaze at his friend's insult.
Clenching his teeth and glaring at him, Ren turned and headed over to the women.
Kateri held her breath, expecting him to go to one of the two perfect girls.
He didn't. Instead he skirted around them to the third girl, who didn't
have enough to pay for her purchase.
Tears swam in her eyes. "It's all I have. Please. I can't return without it. My mother told me that I had to have it or else. "
"We don't lend credit here. You'll have to go beg from someone else. There's a price to be paid for every drop of sweat. " The vendor reached to take the bundle of maize back from her.
Ren stopped him. "I'll cover it. "
The man curled his lip. "How do I know you have it?"
Ren pulled out a piece of gold and handed it over.
After inspecting the gold, the vendor returned the maize to the girl.
"Thank you," she said to the vendor, not Ren. In fact, she wouldn't even look at him to acknowledge his presence.
Placing it in her wicker basket, she moved to join the other two, who were waiting for her.
"Itzel?" Ren called as he tried to catch up.
She hesitated before she turned to pin him with an irritated grimace. "What?"
"I-I-I was w-wondering. . . " He hesitated as if searching for the right words. The quivering in his jaw worsened as her look turned from irritation to disdain.
"Wondering what?" she snapped.
He bit his lip before he tried again. "W-would you m-m-mind if I c-c-c-"
"If you're asking to see me, yes I mind. " She glanced toward her friends. "Do you think I want to be laughed at and mocked? That I'm desperate enough to be courted by you?" She sneered that word, twisting her face up into an ugly mask of cruelty. "Forget it. Go find yourself a woman as stupid as you. Oh wait, there's no one here that dumb. Not even the whores will take you when you pay them for it. Maybe you can find a horny goat or something in one of the other towns. "
Ren stood ramrod stiff as she stalked off and left him to hear the vendor's laughter. As soon as she reached her friends, they all three looked at him and burst out laughing. He lifted his head, but as Kateri watched, the pain in his eyes brought tears to her own.
His friend started toward the girls, but Ren stopped him. "Don't m-m-make it worse. "
Shaking his head, his friend headed off in the opposite direction, leaving Ren to glance back at the girls with a wistfulness that shredded her heart.
Kateri winced over what they'd done to him. No wonder he was celibate. Those bitches had trained him well to avoid women. Drawing a ragged breath, she sniffed back her tears. What could she say to ease that kind of meanness? What could ever undo such cruelty?
Unable to stand it, she pulled him into her arms and held him close.
Ren was completely stunned by her actions. Worse, his body roared to life as she pressed her warm curves against him. He stood there completely stiff, in more ways than one, unsure of what to do. "Why are you hugging me, Kateri?"
"Someone needs to. "
That only confounded him more. "I don't understand. "
Kateri pulled his lips to hers so that she could give him a scorching kiss the likes of which he'd never expected. The intensity of it, the sensation of her tongue dancing with his, made him light-headed and breathless. He growled low in his throat as he wrapped his arms around her and reveled in the taste of her lips.
He didn't think anything could be better. Not until she slid her hand down his chest and stomach, blazing a trail that left him trembling. Then, to his complete shock, she cupped him in her hand.
Completely stunned as she stroked and fingered him through his jeans, he broke off their kiss. "What are you doing?"
"I'm about to rock your world. "