Chapter ix.
The morning introduced in some pretty writing. A stagecoach. Thecivility of chambermaids. The heroic temper of Sophia. Her generosity.The return to it. The departure of the company, and their arrival atLondon; with some remarks for the use of travellers.
Those members of society who are born to furnish the blessings of lifenow began to light their candles, in order to pursue their dailylabours for the use of those who are born to enjoy these blessings.The sturdy hind now attends the levee of his fellow-labourer the ox;the cunning artificer, the diligent mechanic, spring from their hardmattress; and now the bonny housemaid begins to repair the disordereddrum-room, while the riotous authors of that disorder, in brokeninterrupted slumbers, tumble and toss, as if the hardness of downdisquieted their repose.
In simple phrase, the clock had no sooner struck seven than the ladieswere ready for their journey; and, at their desire, his lordship andhis equipage were prepared to attend them.
And now a matter of some difficulty arose; and this was how hislordship himself should be conveyed; for though in stage-coaches,where passengers are properly considered as so much luggage, theingenious coachman stows half a dozen with perfect ease into the placeof four; for well he contrives that the fat hostess, or well-fedalderman, may take up no more room than the slim miss, or tapermaster; it being the nature of guts, when well squeezed, to give way,and to lie in a narrow compass; yet in these vehicles, which arecalled, for distinction's sake, gentlemen's coaches, though they areoften larger than the others, this method of packing is neverattempted.
His lordship would have put a short end to the difficulty, by verygallantly desiring to mount his horse; but Mrs Fitzpatrick would by nomeans consent to it. It was therefore concluded that the Abigailsshould, by turns, relieve each other on one of his lordship's horses,which was presently equipped with a side-saddle for that purpose.
Everything being settled at the inn, the ladies discharged theirformer guides, and Sophia made a present to the landlord, partly torepair the bruise which he had received under herself, and partly onaccount of what he had suffered under the hands of her enragedwaiting-woman. And now Sophia first discovered a loss which gave hersome uneasiness; and this was of the hundred-pound bank-bill which herfather had given her at their last meeting; and which, within a veryinconsiderable trifle, was all the treasure she was at present worth.She searched everywhere, and shook and tumbled all her things to nopurpose, the bill was not to be found: and she was at last fullypersuaded that she had lost it from her pocket when she had themisfortune of tumbling from her horse in the dark lane, as beforerecorded: a fact that seemed the more probable, as she now recollectedsome discomposure in her pockets which had happened at that time, andthe great difficulty with which she had drawn forth her handkerchiefthe very instant before her fall, in order to relieve the distress ofMrs Fitzpatrick.
Misfortunes of this kind, whatever inconveniencies they may beattended with, are incapable of subduing a mind in which there is anystrength, without the assistance of avarice. Sophia, therefore, thoughnothing could be worse timed than this accident at such a season,immediately got the better of her concern, and, with her wontedserenity and cheerfulness of countenance, returned to her company. Hislordship conducted the ladies into the vehicle, as he did likewise MrsHonour, who, after many civilities, and more dear madams, at lastyielded to the well-bred importunities of her sister Abigail, andsubmitted to be complimented with the first ride in the coach; inwhich indeed she would afterwards have been contented to have pursuedher whole journey, had not her mistress, after several fruitlessintimations, at length forced her to take her turn on horseback.
The coach, now having received its company, began to move forwards,attended by many servants, and led by two captains, who had beforerode with his lordship, and who would have been dismissed from thevehicle upon a much less worthy occasion than was this ofaccommodating two ladies. In this they acted only as gentlemen; butthey were ready at any time to have performed the office of a footman,or indeed would have condescended lower, for the honour of hislordship's company, and for the convenience of his table.
My landlord was so pleased with the present he had received fromSophia, that he rather rejoiced in than regretted his bruise or hisscratches. The reader will perhaps be curious to know the _quantum_ ofthis present; but we cannot satisfy his curiosity. Whatever it was, itsatisfied the landlord for his bodily hurt; but he lamented he had notknown before how little the lady valued her money; "For to be sure,"says he, "one might have charged every article double, and she wouldhave made no cavil at the reckoning."
His wife, however, was far from drawing this conclusion; whether shereally felt any injury done to her husband more than he did himself, Iwill not say: certain it is, she was much less satisfied with thegenerosity of Sophia. "Indeed," cries she, "my dear, the lady knowsbetter how to dispose of her money than you imagine. She might verywell think we should not put up such a business without somesatisfaction, and the law would have cost her an infinite deal morethan this poor little matter, which I wonder you would take." "You arealways so bloodily wise," quoth the husband: "it would have cost hermore, would it? dost fancy I don't know that as well as thee? butwould any of that more, or so much, have come into our pockets?Indeed, if son Tom the lawyer had been alive, I could have been gladto have put such a pretty business into his hands. He would have got agood picking out of it; but I have no relation now who is a lawyer,and why should I go to law for the benefit of strangers?" "Nay, to besure," answered she, "you must know best." "I believe I do," repliedhe. "I fancy, when money is to be got, I can smell it out as well asanother. Everybody, let me tell you, would not have talked people outof this. Mind that, I say; everybody would not have cajoled this outof her, mind that." The wife then joined in the applause of herhusband's sagacity; and thus ended the short dialogue between them onthis occasion.
We will therefore take our leave of these good people, and attend hislordship and his fair companions, who made such good expedition thatthey performed a journey of ninety miles in two days, and on thesecond evening arrived in London, without having encountered any oneadventure on the road worthy the dignity of this history to relate.Our pen, therefore, shall imitate the expedition which it describes,and our history shall keep pace with the travellers who are itssubject. Good writers will, indeed, do well to imitate the ingenioustraveller in this instance, who always proportions his stay at anyplace to the beauties, elegancies, and curiosities which it affords.At Eshur, at Stowe, at Wilton, at Eastbury, and at Prior's Park, daysare too short for the ravished imagination; while we admire thewondrous power of art in improving nature. In some of these, artchiefly engages our admiration; in others, nature and art contend forour applause; but, in the last, the former seems to triumph. HereNature appears in her richest attire, and Art, dressed with themodestest simplicity, attends her benignant mistress. Here Natureindeed pours forth the choicest treasures which she hath lavished onthis world; and here human nature presents you with an object whichcan be exceeded only in the other.
The same taste, the same imagination, which luxuriously riots in theseelegant scenes, can be amused with objects of far inferior note. Thewoods, the rivers, the lawns of Devon and of Dorset, attract the eyeof the ingenious traveller, and retard his pace, which delay heafterwards compensates by swiftly scouring over the gloomy heath ofBagshot, or that pleasant plain which extends itself westward fromStockbridge, where no other object than one single tree only insixteen miles presents itself to the view, unless the clouds, incompassion to our tired spirits, kindly open their variegated mansionsto our prospect.
Not so travels the money-meditating tradesman, the sagacious justice,the dignified doctor, the warm-clad grazier, with all the numerousoffspring of wealth and dulness. On they jog, with equal pace, throughthe verdant meadows or over the barren heath, their horses measuringfour miles and a half per hour with the utmost exactness; the eyes ofthe beast and of his master being alike directed forwards, andemployed
in contemplating the same objects in the same manner. Withequal rapture the good rider surveys the proudest boasts of thearchitect, and those fair buildings with which some unknown name hathadorned the rich cloathing town; where heaps of bricks are piled up asa kind of monument to show that heaps of money have been piled therebefore.
And now, reader, as we are in haste to attend our heroine, we willleave to thy sagacity to apply all this to the Boeotian writers, andto those authors who are their opposites. This thou wilt be abundantlyable to perform without our aid. Bestir thyself therefore on thisoccasion; for, though we will always lend thee proper assistance indifficult places, as we do not, like some others, expect thee to usethe arts of divination to discover our meaning, yet we shall notindulge thy laziness where nothing but thy own attention is required;for thou art highly mistaken if thou dost imagine that we intended,when we began this great work, to leave thy sagacity nothing to do; orthat, without sometimes exercising this talent, thou wilt be able totravel through our pages with any pleasure or profit to thyself.