Chapter viii.

  Short and sweet.

  Notwithstanding all the obligations she had received from Jones, MrsMiller could not forbear in the morning some gentle remonstrances forthe hurricane which had happened the preceding night in his chamber.These were, however, so gentle and so friendly, professing, and indeedtruly, to aim at nothing more than the real good of Mr Jones himself,that he, far from being offended, thankfully received the admonitionof the good woman, expressed much concern for what had past, excusedit as well as he could, and promised never more to bring the samedisturbances into the house.

  But though Mrs Miller did not refrain from a short expostulation inprivate at their first meeting, yet the occasion of his being summoneddownstairs that morning was of a much more agreeable kind, beingindeed to perform the office of a father to Miss Nancy, and to giveher in wedlock to Mr Nightingale, who was now ready drest, and full assober as many of my readers will think a man ought to be who receivesa wife in so imprudent a manner.

  And here perhaps it may be proper to account for the escape which thisyoung gentleman had made from his uncle, and for his appearance in thecondition in which we have seen him the night before.

  Now when the uncle had arrived at his lodgings with his nephew, partlyto indulge his own inclinations (for he dearly loved his bottle), andpartly to disqualify his nephew from the immediate execution of hispurpose, he ordered wine to be set on the table; with which he sobriskly plyed the young gentleman, that this latter, who, though notmuch used to drinking, did not detest it so as to be guilty ofdisobedience or want of complacence by refusing, was soon completelyfinished.

  Just as the uncle had obtained this victory, and was preparing a bedfor his nephew, a messenger arrived with a piece of news, which soentirely disconcerted and shocked him, that he in a moment lost allconsideration for his nephew, and his whole mind became entirely takenup with his own concerns.

  This sudden and afflicting news was no less than that his daughter hadtaken the opportunity of almost the first moment of his absence, andhad gone off with a neighbouring young clergyman; against whom, thoughher father could have had but one objection, namely, that he was worthnothing, yet she had never thought proper to communicate her amoureven to that father; and so artfully had she managed, that it hadnever been once suspected by any, till now that it was consummated.

  Old Mr Nightingale no sooner received this account, than in the utmostconfusion he ordered a post-chaise to be instantly got ready, and,having recommended his nephew to the care of a servant, he directlyleft the house, scarce knowing what he did, nor whither he went.

  The uncle thus departed, when the servant came to attend the nephew tobed, had waked him for that purpose, and had at last made him sensiblethat his uncle was gone, he, instead of accepting the kind officestendered him, insisted on a chair being called; with this the servant,who had received no strict orders to the contrary, readily complied;and, thus being conducted back to the house of Mrs Miller, he hadstaggered up to Mr Jones's chamber, as hath been before recounted.

  This bar of the uncle being now removed (though young Nightingale knewnot as yet in what manner), and all parties being quickly ready, themother, Mr Jones, Mr Nightingale, and his love, stept into ahackney-coach, which conveyed them to Doctors' Commons; where MissNancy was, in vulgar language, soon made an honest woman, and the poormother became, in the purest sense of the word, one of the happiest ofall human beings.

  And now Mr Jones, having seen his good offices to that poor woman andher family brought to a happy conclusion, began to apply himself tohis own concerns; but here, lest many of my readers should censure hisfolly for thus troubling himself with the affairs of others, and lestsome few should think he acted more disinterestedly than indeed hedid, we think proper to assure our reader, that he was so far frombeing unconcerned in this matter, that he had indeed a veryconsiderable interest in bringing it to that final consummation.

  To explain this seeming paradox at once, he was one who could trulysay with him in Terence, _Homo sum: humani nihil a me alienum puto_.He was never an indifferent spectator of the misery or happiness ofany one; and he felt either the one or the other in great proportionas he himself contributed to either. He could not, therefore, be theinstrument of raising a whole family from the lowest state ofwretchedness to the highest pitch of joy without conveying greatfelicity to himself; more perhaps than worldly men often purchase tothemselves by undergoing the most severe labour, and often by wadingthrough the deepest iniquity.

  Those readers who are of the same complexion with him will perhapsthink this short chapter contains abundance of matter; while othersmay probably wish, short as it is, that it had been totally spared asimpertinent to the main design, which I suppose they conclude is tobring Mr Jones to the gallows, or, if possible, to a more deplorablecatastrophe.