But after opening the door to her room, she turned to gaze at him one last time, noting little things for her memory to savor: the slight stubble on his checks, the firm lips that could be extremely soft at times, the fact that he’d let his hair get longer than he preferred, and that his pale gray eyes were as intense as ever.
It was too much to resist, one last contact. It was meant as a kiss good-bye, no more than that. But it turned into something quite different.
When she reached up, he must have read more into it than she’d intended, seeing it as an overture on her part. He gathered her close and wouldn’t let go. And that, too, was too much for her to resist. How could it hurt, after all, to say good-bye to him in this way? And how much more special it was, for her knowing it was the last time.
He must have felt the same. Even though he expected to see her again, he must have realized this would be their last shared intimacy. He was all the more careful for it, all the more tender.
He picked her up and carried her to the bed, cradled in his arms. He was very slow in undressing her, too distracted in kissing each area that he bared. Her shoulders, her neck, even her fingers received special attention. There was no urgency, just a poignant tenderness in his kisses as well as the caresses that followed.
Casey wasn’t hesitant, either, in her own caresses. The sounds she wrung from him were encouraging, and there was so much of him to explore. His muscles rippled beneath her fingers. She found his soft spots. She marveled at what was so hard. She was emboldened further, leaving no part of him untouched. Even that strong male length of him felt the daring of her fingertips, as well as the strength of a firm grasp.
Contrasts, so obvious and yet so amazing, the different textures, the things that set them apart. Nevertheless, what pleasured him pleasured her. In that there was no difference, just the wonder that it was so.
His body was so fascinating. Even the smell of him was intoxicating to her senses. And the taste—she wasn’t sparing in her kisses. By setting the pace of lazy, sensual exploration, he was allowing her the time to do all that she had previously only fantasized about doing.
But pleasure like that had its limits. Their blood slowly heated. Skin that had reveled in a soft caress was soon too sensitive to receive more. Brief fluttering became constant churning. Every nerve was pulsing vibrantly. And when she thought she couldn’t bear it anymore, he finally pulled her into the curve of his nakedness and that velvet hardness filled her.
His gaze locked with hers, nearly as erotic as the thickness of him inside her. And then his thrusts began, a slow withdrawal, a swift surge forward, a heated kiss in the interim, only to repeat the cycle. It was so exquisite, his lovemaking, so consuming.
Soon that wave of pure sensation arrived, which lifted her into the realm of ecstasy, exploding on her senses in a pulsating crescendo, draining her to repletion. That he experienced his own climax in that same moment filled her heart with joy.
She held him close to her. She somehow held back her tears. For that short time, he was hers. They would go their separate ways, but she would never forget him—nor would she ever stop loving him. But she would try, she really would, to put the pain aside; and hopefully, she could one day look back on this time without regrets, and simply remember it as a cherished part of her life.
Chapter 43
Courtney was on the west range of the ranch when she sighted Chandos riding toward her. She immediately dug her heels into her mount and raced toward him, praying that this time he was home for good.
The past seven months had been difficult for her, not just because Casey was gone and not just because she had taken over many of the responsibilities of running the K.C. while Chandos had been away, but simply because she hated being parted from her husband like this.
She reached him, and just managed to get out, “Well, hell, it’s about damn time,” before she threw herself out of her saddle and into his open arms.
She heard him chuckle before his mouth fastened on hers for a searing, it’s-been-too-long sort of kiss. By the time she leaned back enough to feast her eyes on him, she was breathless. And he was grinning. That was the thing she noticed most, not the shaggy beard or the hair that had grown so long he was braiding it. That grin—and the lively sparkle in his light blue eyes.
He’d changed; he was more like the old Chandos. She’d seen it the few times he’d come home in the past seven months, and it was even more pronounced now. The anger was gone. Life was back in his eyes. As much as she had hated having both her daughter and her husband away, she could thank Casey for this change in him.
It had been a good, healing time for him, doing something he considered useful, something he was good at, rather than the monotonous running of the ranch, which he found quite boring at times since Fletcher’s death. At least when his father was alive, there had been a reason for him to excel at ranching, to show up the old man, to do it better than he. But that motivation died when Fletcher did.
“Can I hope that this isn’t going to be just another brief visit?” she asked.
It hadn’t taken Chandos very long to find Casey after she’d left that night so long ago. Courtney had expected that would be the end of it, that he’d be bringing her straight home. But that wasn’t what he’d done at all. His guilt, over causing her to leave in the first place, had prompted him to let her prove whatever it was she’d gone off to prove. He’d merely “watched over her” while she did it.
“It’s over, Cateyes,” he replied with a brief sigh. “Casey came in on the noon train today. Now, whether she gets to the ranch before dark is the question. She’s been dragging her feet like she’s on her way to her execution.”
“That’s understandable. She’s probably dreading facing you.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think it’s that. If anything, she should be looking forward to crowing about what she’s accomplished. But the few times I got a good look at her since she started heading home, she seemed—I don’t know, like she’s in mourning.”
“Did something happen recently that you didn’t mention in your telegrams and letters?”
“Yes, a lot of things, but nothing that I can figure would have affected her so much. She finished that last job she took on, parted company with the tenderfoot who hired her—unless coming close to death has made her realize she took on more’n she could chew.”
“Close to death? Close to death! When the devil did that happen? You were supposed to be assuring that she was never in any real danger.”
He smiled at his wife wryly. “I wasn’t able to be there every single time she had a mind to draw that gun of hers. She did manage to lose me occasionally, leading me a ragged chase to catch up to her again.”
“When, exactly, did she come close to death?” Courtney demanded. “And how?”
“The last job she took on was a bit more dangerous than I figured it would be. The Easterner hired her to find someone named Curruthers. I learned that much by questioning the same folks she questioned. Curruthers was an Easterner as well, which is what misled me.”
“He was more dangerous than you figured?”
“No, actually, he was harmless enough himself, but had surrounded himself with hired fast guns who weren’t. By the time I caught up with Casey after she found the fellow—she pulled a fast one on me in Sanderson, taking off in the middle of the night without leaving a trail—she was involved in a damned showdown.”
“What?!”
He grinned. “Settle down, Cateyes. She won it hands down, and it’s damned funny, thinking about it now, though it sure wasn’t at the time, of course, with all those bullets flying. In fact, that was the end of it for me. I was going to drag her home just as soon as the dust settled.”
“And what, pray tell, was funny about our daughter participating in a damned shoot-out?” she asked tightly, not about to settle down as suggested.
“Well, if you can picture what I saw, her standing there in the middle of the street in what l
ooked like a peaceful little town, wearing one of the fancier dresses she’s ever worn, with her gun belt strapped to her hips over the lace—”
“You find that funny?”
“So will you when you stop glaring at me—and recall that she’s safe and sound and just about home.”
Courtney sniffed indignantly, but wasn’t quite glaring at him anymore. “Very well, I might find it funny—when I’m a hundred and ten. Now tell me why you didn’t drag her home at that point.”
He frowned, remembering. “Because my fool horse went lame on me.”
“But you were there in the same town she was,” Courtney reminded him, frowning as well. “So what’s your horse got to do with it?”
“Because those bastards she was up against never intended it to be a fair fight. I got into it at that point, giving her enough cover to get off the street, which she did. The tenderfoot showed up at that point, too—they’d apparently gotten separated somehow, after leaving Sanderson. But anyway, the bullets were flying from both sides of the street, only when they stopped, I wasn’t quick enough to realize that both sides had taken off out the back of the buildings. They met up again in the town stable, and whatever happened there, they managed to end up riding out of town with Casey in tow.”
Courtney sighed. “Okay, I can see where your horse going lame would have made it difficult to put an end to it right then.”
“It was worse than that,” he said with another frown. “I set out after her immediately. So did Rutledge, and he was ahead of me.”
“The Easterner?”
Chandos nodded. “The trail headed south on the road to Sanderson, but that was just to throw off any pursuers. I found where they left the road to head west and even finally spotted them. Rutledge hadn’t figured that out yet, so wound up behind me.”
“But then your horse went lame?”
He nodded, sighing. “I was going to waylay Rutledge and take his horse. Didn’t think the tenderfoot could do Casey much good if he caught up to them. But that damned fellow flew by me, too far away for me to stop him. Don’t think he even saw me, he was so hell-bent on catching up to Curruthers. And I was a good five miles from town by then. By the time I got another horse and headed after them, they were already returning to town with prisoners in tow.”
“He rescued her?”
Chandos snorted. “I doubt it. She probably had everything in hand by the time he found her, though I’d dearly like to know how she managed it. One of those owlhoots was dead, the other two trussed up like turkeys ready for the oven.”
“So ask her what happened when she gets home,” Courtney suggested. “Or do you still intend to let her think you never found her?”
Chandos shrugged. “Don’t know. Let’s wait and see what she has to say for herself first. But it’s over, Cateyes. At least I’m sure of that. And maybe you can figure out why she’s not as happy as we figured she’d be when she got around to coming home.”
Chapter 44
Casey paused on the hill overlooking the Bar M Ranch and had to wonder, in retrospect, if it all had been worth it. She was afraid she had too many of her father and grandfather’s traits, being too stubborn, headstrong, and sure that only she knew what was best. In the end, she wasn’t sure what she’d proved.
She’d wanted to keep Fletcher’s legacy from falling to ruin, a noble endeavor, or so she’d told herself at the time. But would this ranch have fallen to ruin if she never stepped foot on it again? Would Chandos really have let that happen? Probably not. She’d simply been too full of herself, thinking only she could save the day. She gave herself a mental snort. She’d been gone seven months and the ranch was apparently still running fine.
And now she had to explain her reasoning to her parents, when she no longer felt her reasons had any validity. She’d done a fool thing and needed to own up to that.
Casey swung Old Sam around and dug her heels in for the last leg home. She arrived at the dinner hour, so chances were she’d find both her parents in the dining room. And she did. But standing there in the doorway of that elegant room, feeling so out of place in her dusty poncho and jeans, she couldn’t get the words out that she’d planned to say. It was so good to be home, she’d missed her mother and father, missed them terribly, yet for some reason she just didn’t feel like she belonged here anymore, and that realization was cutting deeper than all the other things troubling her.
She hoped it was merely a passing sense of sadness. This was her home, after all. She knew she’d always be welcome here. Yet she also always figured that someday she’d leave here for good, when she found a man…
“Did you have to cut your beautiful hair, Casey?” Courtney asked in a disapproving tone.
That certainly wasn’t what she had expected to hear after having been gone for seven months, and in fact, Casey stared at her mother incredulously. Was that all the scolding she was going to get? She was afraid to even look in her father’s direction, dreading the anger she expected to see from him. He wasn’t yelling yet—but he would.
“It will grow back,” she replied lamely.
Courtney smiled and stood up to hold out her arms. “So it will. Now come here.”
That was what Casey had been waiting for, hoping for, and she didn’t hesitate before she flew into her mother’s arms—and promptly burst into tears. Her mother’s soothing voice reached her through the noise she was making, but the tears wouldn’t stop, just got worse.
Casey had so much to be forgiven for. She had so much bothering her that could never be made right. Parents were usually able to “fix” everything that went wrong in a child’s life, but she was past the age of having problems easily “fixed.”
All she could think to wail was, “I’m sorry! I never should have left, I know that now!”
“Casey, honey, shhh,” Courtney continued to murmur. “All that matters is that you’re home now, safe and sound. Everything else will fall into place.”
It wouldn’t, but Casey wasn’t going to argue with her mother. She was being given a reprieve. She wasn’t even being asked for an explanation…
“Perhaps if you told us why you felt the need to leave like you did?”
Casey almost chuckled. She did manage to wipe the tears off her cheeks and lean back to give her mother a half smile. At least this was something she’d expected.
“Well, why I left like I did, sneaking off in the middle of the night, is pretty obvious. If I’d told you what I planned to do, you probably would have locked me up and thrown the key down the nearest well.”
“Quite possibly.” Courtney smiled back. “And why you left?”
Casey finally glanced at her father, who was still sitting there, staring at her—inscrutably. It didn’t make her no nevermind that he wasn’t yelling yet, but at least he could look like he was furious with her.
“It was a fool reason that I wished I’d never thought of. I just wanted to prove that I could handle the Bar M fine on my own. Daddy claimed that only a man could run it proper. I set out to do what only a man would consider doing, and I earned more’n some men earn in a lifetime.”
“Did you have to pick a profession that was so dangerous?” Chandos asked quietly.
Casey cringed. “So you got close, did you? Close enough to find out what I was doing?”
“Closer than that, little girl.”
Casey went very still, and not because he’d called her “little girl.” She hesitated before saying, “What do you mean?”
“Did you really think you could elude me all these months?”
Casey sighed inwardly. She’d never thought any such thing. In fact, she’d expected her father to show up from day one. That he hadn’t had caused her some worry.
“When did you find me?” she asked.
“A couple weeks after you left.”
She frowned. “I don’t understand. Why didn’t you just confront me then?”
“Maybe because it was my fault that you left and I didn’t want to c
ompound that mistake. I figured that if you reached your goal, that would be the end of it, and I wouldn’t feel so damned guilty about it anymore. Just wish it hadn’t taken so long—or that the whole thing wasn’t so dangerous.”
“But it wasn’t that dangerous—for the most part. When I was just hunting bounties, it was easy enough to catch my targets unawares.”
“I know.”
Those two words really had her worried. “You know? You’re not saying that you didn’t just find me, but you also stayed with me?” Then Casey answered her own question. “Of course you did. You would. You were waiting for me to get in trouble, weren’t you? You expected it!”
“No, now, you’re barking up the wrong tree there, little girl. I knew damned well that you were competent enough for the job you chose. But you’re my daughter. If you think I could have just left you out there, knowing the kind of people you’d be dealing with, think again. I had to be around—just in case. There was no other way, Casey. Either I stayed near, or you came home.”
Casey nodded. She didn’t know why she’d been surprised. He had always protected her. Why would she think this would be any different?
And then it dawned on her and she nearly blanched. He’d been following her all along. He’d been there, watching her. When she and Damian had made love on the trail—had her father witnessed that, too?
She had to ask. “Were you always there? Every step of the way?”
He shook his head. “There were quite a few times you managed to lose me. The longest was when you were headed toward Coffeyville. It took me more’n a week to catch up to you that time. When you left Fort Worth just as I got there, I had to ride like hell to make it to the next whistle stop before the train pulled out again. When you sneaked out of Sanderson in the middle of the night, you lost me for several days. Didn’t catch up to you then until you were in the midst of that showdown in Culthers.”
Casey sighed mentally and yet cringed at the same time. He hadn’t witnessed her and Damian making love. But that damned gunfight…