“How so?” I asked suddenly, terrified for my virtue.
Mae sighed at my worry. “They have their own rules and beliefs that separate them from the outside world. Ky is second in command and with that comes certain privileges.”
“Like Brother Gabriel was to Prophet David?”
Mae nodded. “Yes. And because of this, he also holds a great deal of power amongst the Hangmen. He is also very handsome, as if you have not noticed…” Mae studied my face, so I quickly dipped my head, attempting to hide my blush. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that I had noticed. When I stepped from that godforsaken cell, he was the first thing I saw. He was just so… formidable. “So Ky has no shortage of women agreeing to join with him.”
I shook myself from my promiscuous thoughts and met Mae’s expectant gaze. I thought of the Lord and refocused on my faith, on what I had been called to believe through his words. “It is wrong,” I pushed, and Mae’s shoulders sagged. “To behave in such a way is wrong and sinful, and I am not one of his loose women, Mae. I am not to be played with and petted like a dog! I am to be pure. Only the brothers and the disciples will ever have the right to join with me, in the Lord’s Sharings. That is the only way to rid myself of the devil possessing my body… my soul. This Ky, this heathen, is not worthy of that right. He is not a man of God! How shall I ever be saved if a denizen of Satan touches me? All I want is to be saved… to be redeemed in the Lord’s eyes…”
Tears fell down my cheeks and I hiccupped on my words. I suddenly felt unsteady on my feet, too weak through lack of food. Mae’s beautiful light-blue eyes softened and she held me up by my arms and pressed a loving kiss to my head.
“Shh… I know,” Mae soothed. “It is why Styx pulled him away just now. Ky will be suitably reprimanded, on this I swear.”
Pulling from Mae’s hold, I looked to the exit door leading outside, knowing what I must do. “I must… I must pray. Cleanse my sins, wash away the lust, the vice and misdeeds,” I announced.
Mae reached out and gently gripped my arm. I backed away, flinching at her touch, freeing myself from her hand. “No, Mae! I must atone for my sins. I am going to the river to pray! I feel unclean… I am unclean… This place… How can you live this way, Mae?” I watched Mae’s eyes glisten as I confronted her fall from grace. “I shall pray for your soul too, sister. I shall pray you will once again find your way back to the Lord.”
I stumbled to the door without looking back and out of the rear exit into the cool night breeze. I did not wish to see Mae’s hurt expression. I loved her. I wanted her to be rid of Satan too. We were the Cursed. We were all destined for hell unless we were saved. I still had faith that our people and our prophet would return, just like Jesus. It was in the scripture, and I could recite every single word.
I ran straight down the green embankment beside the compound to the small river and dropped to my knees, my hand flush to my panting chest. Feeling something in my upper pocket, I looked down and saw the ties of my headdress. I closed my eyes in relief; Mae must have given it back to me.
Staring at the dark choppy water, I focused on calming my too-fast heart. The river flowed strong, and I just had to wash away that man’s filthy touch. The tainted touch of his hands and tongue… I had to wash away all his wrong.
Retrieving my headdress and clutching it in my hands, I fixed my hair in a tight bun and tied the white material back in place. As soon as the garment was secured, it immediately soothed me. I was proper and modest again.
Closing my eyes, I tipped my head high to the heavens, found that flow of peace within my soul, and gave my heart over to the Lord.
Jesus, please rescue me from this damned and wicked place. Take me into your loving arms and save me from the evil living within me. Save all the Cursed, those of us spawned by Satan himself…
Chapter Three
Ky
“Get the fuck off me, Styx!”
Dragging my drunk ass by my long hair, Styx threw me into the office and punched me square across the mouth again, this time busting my motherfucking lip.
Stumbling into the table, my right palm slapped on the wood and I righted myself, spinning ‘round to point at Styx with my left index finger. I felt blood from my lip drip down my chin into my beard. Styx stood in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest, pecs bulging under his shirt. The fucker was bigger than me in weight, but not height. We were on pretty even turf when it came to fighting. But I didn’t wanna fight my best friend. I was so drunk there was no way I’d be coming out on top.
“That’s one, asshole. That’s all you’re fuckin’ getting. Hit me again and see what happens,” I slurred, wiping the blood off my face with the back of my hand.
Styx’s lip hooked into a cocky grin and he huffed out a disbelieving laugh. He took a step forward and I braced for an ass kicking. Instead, he picked up a wooden chair and launched it across the room, growling as he did so. I ignored the crash and closed my eyes, trying to stop the spinning. Giving up on finding my balance, I stepped back to sit on the edge of the table.
Hearing Styx’s heavy boots pound toward me on the hardwood floor, I slowly opened my eyes, squinting as the bright florescent light from the ceiling fixture made my burgeoning bourbon headache worsen. Styx met me face to face, boot to boot. I could see he was trying to say something, but when Styx got worked up like this, his stutter steals his fuckin’ voice, hence his nickname: the Hangmen Mute. The big bastard could only talk to me, and now his bitch Mae, but right at this second, he couldn’t verbalize shit. It made me feel guilty as all hell.
Exhaling a slow breath and working on not blowing chunks on the floor, I held up my hand in surrender. “Calm the fuck down. Focus on your speech. I get it. I fucked up and you’re pissed at me… again. But right now I’m seeing two of you, so cut me a fuckin’ break!”
Styx’s lips hardened into a line, he rubbed across his forehead, and he began pacing the room, coughing and rubbing at his throat. I knew he was working up to talk, so I stood and slipped into a chair, working on blinking my eyes back into focus.
Nope. Wasn’t working for shit!
I had a feeling this weren’t gonna be over quickly.
Closing my eyes, I worked on thinking of sweet fuck all, but I couldn’t get the taste of that blonde pilgrim pussy from my head. That prudish pilgrim pussy that I wanted to mount me and ride my cock like it was Seabiscuit. Fuck me, she was hot, those blue eyes, that blond hair to her ass, and those fat tits that I’d had pressed all up against my chest. Hard, naturally stacked tits that I wanted to decorate with streams of my cum and wrap my dick in the middle of them until I lost my fuckin’ sex-obsessed mind. Christ! Even thinking about it was making me as hard as a ten-inch steel pole.
“K-K… Ky!!!”
Sucking in a sharp breath, I opened my eyes to find Styx in front of me, glaring at me like he was gonna slit my throat. As he ran his hands through his dark hair, I realized I’d been rubbing my stiff dick through my jeans while thinking of blondie.
Shit, I was so fuckin’ drunk.
Styx turned around and leaned against the wall. I held up my hands. “Styx, I—”
“I-I-I t-told y-you to stay the f-f-fuck away f-from h-her. F-f-fuckin’ or-ordered it a-as y-your p-prez!” Styx interrupted, stuttering badly through each pissed-off word.
I blew out a breath and exhaled. “I know! What can I say? I’m fucked off my face on Jack, and I suddenly find her in the bar, looking up at me with those huge fuckin’ eyes and cock-sucking lips that I can’t get out of my head… Fuck, Styx, she’s my perfect woman! I couldn’t help myself. I mean shit! Those tits! That ass… I’m fuckin’ cunt-struck!”
“Cunt-struck!” Styx roared. “D-do y-you only ever th-think with your d-dick!”
Styx gripped the bridge of his nose, only to drop his hand and look at me again. Taking a deep breath, he said, “M-Maddie and Li-Lilah n-never leave th-that ap-apartment. M-Mae is g-g-going fuckin’ crazy o-over it. Fl-Flame is being ev-even mo
re psy-psy-psycho than n-n-normal not m-moving from their d-d-door. Last th-thing I-I-I n-need is y-you causing sh-shit too.”
I nodded my head and leaned forward. Styx hit his fist against the wall. “I-I-I ain’t l-l-losing M-Mae n-now. I-I l-lost her o-once. I ain’t l-losing her a-again. W-we need th-those bitches upstairs t-to c-calm the f-fuck d-down, st-stop freakin’ out at th-their own sh-shadows and get u-used t-to th-this life away from th-those f-f-fucked-up Jesus f-freaks!”
Feeling guilty at my brother hurting at the thought of losing his old lady, I went to speak, when the door flew open and Mae marched inside.
Speak of the devil…
Styx shot off the wall as soon as she entered, but she held up her hand in his direction, looking all pissed in her black jeans, Hangmen tank, and “Property of Styx” leather vest, and came my way. Hell, she had tears in her eyes.
Great. Nothing worse than a crying bitch on a mission to hand me my ass.
Stopping only a couple feet from my chair, she planted her hands on her hips and fuckin’ exploded. “How dare you treat my sister that way!” she hissed, and I caught Styx groan in exasperation behind her, his hands covering in face in distress.
“She stays in that room all day, every day, has done for weeks, and no matter what I say about the world outside of The Order, both she and Maddie will not even step foot out of the door apart from to pray, believing evil exists and will possess them as soon as they do. Lilah believes nothing I tell her, never letting go of her faith, and Maddie, Lord, Maddie barely speaks, just sits and stares out that window every waking hour God sends. She’s completely shutdown and Lilah is slowly breaking down! She is falling apart further every day she is separated from the commune!” Mae whipped around to face Styx. “And you need to speak to Flame again. He is still outside the apartment, cutting himself, when he is not away on runs for you. Lilah is petrified of him hissing and slicing himself up. Just another thing that is inhibiting their progress in this godforsaken mess.”
I watched Styx hold up his hands. “Th-that fucker won’t do sh-shit that I tell him. H-he told me h-he’s protecting them wh-while he s-slices flesh, f-fuck kn-knows wh-who from. B-but it ain’t a b-bad th-thing that he’s th-there guarding th-their d-door. N-no o-one w-would d-dare take on F-Flame.”
Mae sighed and faced me again, only this time tears were running down her cheeks.
Ah, shit!
“Please leave Lilah alone, Ky. I know you think you like her. She is utterly and breathtakingly beautiful… but she is very damaged, and I want her to get better. I want her to stay here with me. You have no idea how we were treated our whole life, why she is like she is. Sadistic men frequently took us against our will, forced us to do unspeakable things in the name of the Lord, and all we had was each other for support. Lilah believed those men and their actions were saving our souls because we were branded temptresses. She still believes this and that she must return to their instruction to finally reach salvation. It is what we were conditioned to accept and strive for. I lost my faith. Lilah’s has deepened.”
Mae glimpsed at Styx, and the brother was ramrod straight, breathing hard. I knew he hated hearing about the cunt who’d raped his bitch for most of her life. Fucker was dead now, of course, but his ghost was still there between them every day.
Mae turned back to me. “Ky, since the Hangmen killed Prophet David and raided the commune, Lilah believes she is being punished, that she is in hell because she left our sacred land, our protected Garden of Eden. She even believes that I, her sister, am being sinful in joining with Styx, a non-believer. She believes I am willingly joining the side of the devil.”
Styx slowly came behind Mae and, wrapping his arms around her chest, pulled her back against his body and pressed kisses along her neck, whispering something I couldn’t make out. Mae relaxed and she held on to his arms, knuckles turning white, as she whispered back, “You are my light, my love. You are my choice.” Styx’s eyes closed and he exhaled.
Mae faced me again. “Ky, Lilah believes our faith’s scripture to the letter, believes Prophet David’s writings were completely literal. We were told our entire lives that we—Maddie, Lilah, and I—were Satan-spawned, that we were born of the devil’s seed. Made beautiful enough to tempt men, steal, then serve their damned souls to Satan. Lilah always took this label the worst. She had a different life before she was brought to the prophet’s commune. Maddie, my sister Bella, and I had been branded Cursed from birth.
“Lilah never spoke of it, but we always guessed she had had a family outside of us. But they would have shunned her when the prophet named her Cursed. I understand that now. At present, Lilah will give anything to be welcomed back into our faith… for her soul to be saved in the eyes of the Lord. She believes she tempts men because she is evil, truly evil.”
Mae took a deep breath. “Ky, your behavior in the bar has just strengthened this belief. She thinks the devil is luring you in through her. She believes a man will never truly love her for herself until she is rid of her curse, of her temptress nature.”
Another tear trailed down Mae’s cheek. “I have no idea how to make her and Maddie want this life. There is no more commune, no more Order. I am unable to help her… them. What will happen to them if they cannot adjust?” Her huge wolf eyes focused on me as Styx wiped at her cheeks with his thumb, his nose flaring with protectiveness. “I need your help, Ky. Not for you to make this even more difficult. If they left me, I do not know… I do not know…”
Styx turned Mae in his arms and she cried into his chest. His jaw clenched and he glanced in my direction.
Great. He wanted to murder me again.
Running my hands down my face, I jumped to my feet, and Mae lifted her head in surprise.
“I’ll keep the fuck away from Lilah. I swear,” I vowed.
Mae nodded, though her face remained blank. “Thank you.”
But Styx was still looking at me… and I knew that look. He was plotting something. I went to leave the room, when Styx cleared his throat, his infamous take-no-shit look on his face. Styx’s hands lifted to sign behind Mae’s back while her face was still tucked against his chest, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
“Go find Lilah. She’ll be down by the river or in the apartment. It’s the only two places she ever goes. Tell her you’re fuckin’ sorry for practically assaulting her tonight. Right?”
I nodded my agreement rather than say it out loud. He obviously didn’t want Mae to overhear our “conversation.” A lift of his finger made me pause again, and I watched a smirk curl on his lips.
“I’m putting you in charge of her and I ain’t telling Mae. Let’s call it your… atonement for being a whore-assed fuck-up.”
I rolled my eyes at his shit attempt at a joke, but I could tell my brother wasn’t fuckin’ around.
“Watch Lilah, protect her, and for fuck’s sake, get her used to this life somehow. I ain’t losing Mae, and unless those bitches get on board, I’m not sure what she’s gonna do. We both know club life is the complete opposite of what they know. How we live is the complete opposite of Christian good, but we gotta find a way to make it work.”
Styx sighed and pressed his cheek on Mae’s head, but never broke my gaze. “You fuckin’ get the blond bitch on track, Ky. But don’t you dare touch her. Cunt-struck or not, her pussy is off-limits. That’s an ironclad order as your prez. But you’re my best friend, my brother, my VP, and I really need your fuckin’ help right now. I’m outta my depth here.”
I closed my eyes and dropped my head. This was the last fuckin’ thing I needed. The Ku Klux Klan was still a potential problem. Fuck knows what else was coming our way; there was always a new enemy knocking at our door. That cunt Rider was still out there. Ran his pussy ass away. Hopefully he was festering in a pit somewhere, but fuck knows if he was gonna rear his ugly head again. The guy was obsessed with Mae and might try to get her back.
Motherfucker. I was gonna have to do this babysitting shit.
r /> As I opened my eyes, Styx was still staring in desperation, and my heart sank. All his life, the brother’d had it hard. Mute to anyone but his old man and me, son of the hardest, cruelest son of a bitch to walk this Earth, inherited the gavel at twenty-five to the biggest and most criminal outlaw MC in the States. But that all changed for him when Mae turned up bleeding behind a dumpster; she changed his life with one look from her fuckin’ wolf eyes. I’d never seen him so happy, and now he was talking about kids? Shit. The brother deserved a break; he deserved Mae by his side. She was a good old lady, jaded enough by life to accept how we all roll and submissive enough to never question her old man.
I was gonna have to babysit a fuckin’ Bible head case I couldn’t touch and all the time, no doubt, with the world’s worst case of blue balls. Perfect. Maybe there was a fuckin’ God up there after all and he was laughing his ass off at one of the devil’s men hankering for a taste of one of his own.
“You know I will, brother,” was all I signed back, and I saw the relief wash over Styx’s hard features. As I left the doorway, I glanced back to see Mae and Styx kissing. Yeah, it wasn’t gonna be fun looking out for the cock-teasing “pilgrim prude,” but it’s what a brother does, and although not blood, there were no closer bond than me and him. The Hangmen were family and we took care of our own.
Making my way to the bar, the prospect looked my way. “Coffee,” I ordered. “A fuckin’ huge one,” I added.
The prospect frowned but went to get my caffeine without question. The rest of the brothers gave me a wide berth, no doubt thinking Styx had ripped me a new one and I was pissed. They weren’t too far from being right.