Chapter Fourteen
'When am I ever going to learn just to keep my mouth shut?' Jen thought to herself. Who was she to question Treyvon's beliefs? To questions those of his people. To have an outward, physical, and irrefutable sign that this was the right person for you. The one that would stand at your side, no matter what. Who would always believe in you? Who would never stray. God, what she wouldn't give for that feeling. She'd thought she'd had it with Todd. She was sure she had, then her parents died, and all that changed.
The slight bump as they touched down jarred Jen from her dark thoughts, only to find herself facing even darker ones as her gaze went to the window to see the opening of the mine.
Treyvon found he was struggling with what Jennifer had said. How could she doubt the Goddess's gift? He could also tell she was just searching for answers as they all were. She had told him how her people didn't have True Mate beads, that instead, they had something similar to their Dasho and Ashe beads called rings that one offered and the other either accepted or refused. Her Todd, her Dasho had died because, while he'd forced Jen to take her ring off, he had refused to give it up to the Zaludians. Costing him his life and causing Jennifer to be severely injured.
What would he have done? Was the outward sign really more important than one's life? Than the life of the one you knew was your True Mate. Bead or no bead?
Mica seemed to think so. So had Gryf. Were they right?
As he shut down the engines, he turned to Jennifer, ready to question her further only to find her as pale as when he'd executed that combat takeoff. Only this time her eyes were wide open and staring at the dark opening of the mine.
Daco! What was wrong with him? He was taking her back to the one place in all the Known Worlds she would never want to return to, all because it might benefit his people. She'd been brave enough to come, and all he could do was think of himself.
"Jennifer." When she didn't respond, he lifted a gentle hand and turned her face to his, her eyes only meeting his when it was impossible to stay locked on what was outside. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to be here. I can take you back."
"What?" She gave him a confused look.
"Here. The mine. We don't have to do this."
"But your people…"
"I'll find another way.” He couldn’t believe he was saying this or that he meant it. “We've survived this long, and we will continue to, with or without the blessing of the Goddess."
"You can't mean that. You're talking about billions of people."
"And you are more important." Realizing what he'd just said, Treyvon turned from her and started his preflight check that would return them to the base.
Jen just stared at Treyvon, watching his strong, competent fingers travel over the controls. He couldn't mean what he said. He couldn't actually be planning to, leave without the luciferins. His people needed them.
Hearing the power of the engines increase, she saw the sands outside start to rise and the entrance to the mine blur and realized he really was really willing to leave.
"Stop," she whispered, gripping the forearm of the male that was about to put her before his people.
"Jennifer…"
"Please, Treyvon. I know this will be hard… so very hard," she whispered, looking back to the mine for a moment before her gaze returned to his. "But I need to do this. Need to face it. Not just for Todd, or your people, but for me. I know I can do it… if you're with me."
"You are sure?"
"Yes. Shut down the engines. Please. It's time to prove to the Zaludians and myself that no one gets the best of a Teel woman."
Seeing the determination in her eyes, Treyvon shut down the engines. "If at any time you wish to leave, we will."
"I know." Jen unbuckled the belt that held her in her seat. "So can I assume you've thought of a better way to transport the luciferins?"
Treyvon gave her a disbelieving look as he assisted her in rising. "Of course."
"Good."
• • • • • •
Later, as she entered the cave they'd been held in, Jen was wondering why she hadn't let Treyvon take her back to the base. It hadn't bothered her at first. Yes, she'd been apprehensive walking toward the gaping mouth of the mine, but it hadn't terrified her because she'd never seen it before.
It had been dark when they'd arrived with the Ganglians, and the Kaliszians had hustled them into the transport because of the approaching storm. But as they moved deeper into the mine, the dragging of her left foot stirred up the dust and with it the smell that she would never forget.
It wasn't the same dry smell of warm sand and dust of the gairdín that somehow comforted and soothed her. No, this was a darker, heavier scent like the mine itself with something else mixed in. Something deadly. She'd never been able to identify what that strange smell was until now.
It was the smell of despair and hopelessness, left from all those who had been enslaved here. Who had died here. It had seeped into the walls and permeated the air. She doubted it could ever be eradicated.
Now she stood just inside the entrance of the cave Treyvon had guided her to because she'd only been out of it once. Well, twice if you counted her mad run after the Zaludian that had murdered Todd, but she'd never returned through this opening.
Looking around the cave, she couldn't contain the small cry as she felt it all come crashing back down around her. All the pain, all the fear, all the utter hopelessness.
"Jennifer." Treyvon's hand shifted from resting on her lower back to gripping her waist, supporting her. He didn't like how she looked or how she had started to tremble.
She said nothing and Treyvon could do nothing but stay close as she stepped deeper into the cave, moving slowly along the wall until she came to a barely there indentation.
"This is where Todd would sleep," she told him, her voice barely a whisper. "This is where he was killed."
Treyvon's eyes sharpened on the ordinary looking spot. "Just Todd slept here? Not you?"
"Sometimes, if he’d let me. But after Mac found the other cave, Todd insisted I sleep there. He didn't want to worry about the Zaludians accidently finding me."
"I see," he said, but he didn't as he looked at the rock surrounding the indentation. "Where is the opening to this cave Mackenzie found?"
"It's that way.” She raised a hand, pointing farther into the cave. With one last look at the indentation, she turned and led Treyvon deeper into the cave.
Treyvon was surprised at how deep the cave was, along with the faint sound of flowing water. He didn't remember hearing it before. He also would have overlooked the low crack, barely seen behind a boulder, if Jennifer hadn't pointed it out. She had been right. No Zaludian would have considered looking there for a prisoner. Neither would one of his Warriors, and that was something he'd have to correct. But what bothered him the most was the distance between where Jennifer rested and where her Dasho chose to. If it had been him trapped here with his Ashe, he would have made sure to remain as close to her as possible, even if the rocky area next to her hiding place would have been uncomfortable.
"We were able to get fresh water from there."
Treyvon looked to where she pointed and saw the thin trail of water that flowed down a wall before forming a small pool. It then ran along the floor, turning in front of the opening, continuing on until it disappeared beneath the rock.
"And we cleaned up over there." She pointed to where the trickle disappeared.
"All of you?"
"Of course, it was the only place."
Treyvon just looked at her. He had experienced and survived in some of the most horrendous conditions the universes could offer. After all, he was a Warrior and trained for it, but those conditions had always been during battle. Something he'd always known would soon end. However, to live this way with no end in sight, with no hope of getting out; his respect for what she and the other humans had survived grew.
"The luciferins I used are in there." She pointed to
the crack in the wall. "Give me the container you brought, and I'll get some."
Treyvon slipped a hand inside his vest, pulling out the padded container he'd brought, but hesitated in extending it to her. His gaze returned to the wall.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"You shouldn’t go in there alone."
"Seriously?" she questioned in disbelief. "It's not like you are going to fit, and the luciferins I used came from in there."
Treyvon continued to hesitate. She wasn't one of his Warriors. What if she became ill or injured while she was inside that small cave? There was no way he could get her out. That was unacceptable to him, but before he could tell her they would gather luciferins from the outer cave, she grabbed the container and disappeared inside.
"Jennifer!" he roared. "Come out of there! Immediately!"
"I'm all right." Her voice was faint from inside the tight walls she'd crawled between with practiced ease. "I'll be out in a minute."
• • • • • •
Jennifer had needed to escape the weight of the memories of the outer cave. Everywhere she’d looked she saw Todd and the guys. She remembered treating their wounds. Feeding them when they were too exhausted to do it themselves. Nevertheless, as she stood up in the smaller cave, she found she hadn't escaped the memories; she'd just run into more. Memories of her and Mac huddled together, scared out of their minds, with neither one wanting to admit it. Memories of the little triumphs, like when they'd discovered they could crawl through the even narrower passage and get outside. Memories of pain, massive pain, both physical and emotional when she'd woken up in this cave knowing Todd was dead.
She'd wanted to scream out her pain, wanted to bring the walls down with it, ending it all. But that would have killed the guys. Would have killed Mac. So she'd suffered in silence. It was the thought of Mac and the guys that had kept her going, had given her a purpose. Keeping them alive had become her only goal.
Her gaze settled on the crude pot she'd discovered in the small pool in the outer cave. It was really more of a rock that over time, the steady trickle of water had hollowed out. But it allowed her to cook their food. She now knew it was Kevtoof, the same stone used in the paths of the gairdín, even though it didn't glow. She wondered why.
"Jennifer!" Treyvon's roar pulled her from her thoughts.
"I'm fine!" she called back. "I'll be out in a minute!" Setting her mind to the task at hand, she let her gaze travel over the floor and was surprised to find that it wasn't covered in luciferins. It seemed like one fell every day when they'd been here, and they'd been gone so long that she'd just expected them to continue to fall.
Why hadn't they?
Was it because the mining had stopped?
Looking up, she gazed at the plants. They really were beautiful with the way they softly glowed and moved back and forth with the air currents coming in through the outside passage. How many times had she laid on her back watching them? How they knew to dim at night, she'd never know, but they did, giving her a sense of the passage of time. They reminded her of the coral she'd seen in documentaries, both beautiful yet fragile, surviving in the air rather than under the waves.
As she watched, one flared brighter than the others before it faded. Reaching out a hand, she caught it as it slowly fluttered down. This one was different from the others she'd used before. She'd always found them on the floor, never seeing them actually 'die.' This one continued to pulse as she held it in her hand. The energy it still contained tingling up her arm, comforting her somehow. With her other thumb, she opened the container she'd taken from Treyvon and carefully placed the luciferin in it.
As two more fell in quick succession, she placed them in the container with as much care as she did the first, and then waited. When no more fell, she somehow knew this was all she was going to be blessed with.
Blessed with…
Slowly she lowered herself onto her good knee and after thanking the luciferins for all they had given to her and her friends, she rose. Stumbling as her bad leg gave out, she steadied herself on the wall, missing how another luciferin fell into the hood of the cape she wore.
• • • • • •
Treyvon tore at the rock around the opening Jennifer had disappeared into, ignoring how it dug into his fingers. He wasn't calling out again. He was getting to her. He had to. He didn't care what she said. She couldn't be fine returning to a place that held so many bad memories and so much pain for her.
Feeling a slight give, he doubled his efforts, bending his powerful thighs and grunting as he pulled up. A large chunk gave way, and he tossed it over his shoulder, then turned back for more. But before he could, Jennifer's head popped out of the opening. Changing targets, he gripped her shoulders and pulled her the rest of the way out.
"Treyvon!” she shrieked when she was suddenly on her feet. “What the hell are you doing?"
"Never do that again!" he roared, giving her a hard shake before pulling her close, his strong arms wrapping around her. Her lips moved against the bare skin of his chest in a muffled response. "What?" he demanded, allowing her to pull back slightly.
"I asked what your problem was!" she told him her eyes flashing up at him.
"My problem? My problem! My problem is you! Rushing off to a place where I cannot follow! Where I am unable to protect you! That is my problem!!!" he all but roared the last sentence.
"There was nothing dangerous in that cave! It was my home for God knows how long!"
Treyvon didn't like that reminder. Didn't like the fact that she'd had to struggle to survive here when he hadn't even known of her existence. "And you haven't been here for moon cycles! You have no idea what could have been in there! You could have been attacked!"
"By what? There's no life here on Pontus. You said that yourself!"
"That does not matter!” he yelled back irrationally. “You will not do that again! I forbid it!"
"Forbid? FORBID? Just who the hell do you think you are, mister?"
"I am General Treyvon…" he began
"That was a rhetorical question!" Jen exclaimed wanting to wave her hands for effect only to realize they were trapped against his lower abs as Treyvon was still holding her close. It suddenly hit her then that he had been worried for her, concerned, maybe even slightly frightened that something might happen to her. That realization calmed her anger at his highhanded manner. When was the last time someone, a man, had genuinely been concerned about her, not because she was feeding him, but because she was Jen? Slowly she flexed her fingers. "Treyvon…"
• • • • • •
Treyvon knew he was being irrational, but he found that he always was with her. The thought of her being back in that place, of her possibly becoming overwhelmed, and him not being able to get to her. It exposed emotions he'd never experienced before.
"What!" he demanded sharply.
"I'm sorry," she told him quietly.
"What?" His tone, while having softened only slightly, was colored with surprise.
"I said I'm sorry," she repeated. "I should have realized you would be concerned with me going in there alone. I just didn't consider it."
"You didn't think I would be concerned with your safety?" He gave her an affronted look.
"It wasn't that. It’s just that I've been crawling in and out of that cave ever since we discovered it. No one ever gave a thought to whether or not it was 'safe'… not even Todd."
"He should have."
"There were… other concerns at the time," she murmured.
"You should have been his primary concern." He ran a gentle finger along her injured cheek. "His only concern."
• • • • • •
You should have been his primary concern.
Treyvon's words kept playing back in her head as he led her out of the cave.
His only concern.
She hadn't been.
She’d known that long before the Ganglians had taken them.
Oh, she'd never doubted that
Todd loved her, but loving her had been easy when they had both wanted the same things, had been going in the same direction, and had agreed on how to get there.
It was only after her parents died, and Kimmy had come to live with them, that things had changed and the arguments had started. But she'd been determined to work it out because that's what you did when you committed yourself to another person. You stuck out the hard times and forgave the other’s shortcomings.
As Treyvon started to guide her out of the mine, Jen knew there was something she still had to do and without a word turned in the opposite direction.
"Jennifer?" Treyvon asked, frowning as she moved deeper into the mine instead of out. Where was she going? Why? He thought she didn't know her way around the mine and that she had been confined to the cave. As she veered off to the left, his breath caught, and he realized where she was going. The only other place she had ever been.
• • • • • •
She didn't even notice Pontus's dry wind drying the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. All her focus centered on what lay below where she was standing. To where the Zaludian had thrown Todd's body. Where he had then thrown her.
There was nothing.
Nothing but sand.
Where was he?
"Pontus’s ground storms consume anything unprotected," Treyvon spoke quietly behind her.
"What?" She twisted her upper body to look at him.
"You asked where his body was."
"So he's just… gone?" she asked, raising devastated eyes to him. "Like he never existed?"
Treyvon knew no words would ease her pain, but he wished there was something he could do. Seeing her like this tore at his heart. When he remained silent, she turned away, leaning forward slightly against the breeze to gaze over the edge. When the breeze suddenly eased, she teetered forward, and he immediately grabbed her, pulling her back.
"What in the name of the Goddess do you think you are doing?!!" he demanded, turning her around to face him.
"I…" that was all she got out before everything went dark.
Treyvon's grip quickly shifted as her eyes rolled back and her body went slack. Cursing, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her out of the mine.