*****
Adam found himself lying on his bed, his television tuned to the Teen Nick channel where some outrageous, fast paced teen comedy was playing with laugh tracks and all. A constant tapping on his bedroom windows soon caught his attention. He slid off the bed and moved his blinds aside. It was raining. Large drops from the heavens knocked relentlessly on his window. When did it start raining? Then he noticed that it was almost noon. Why is it so late? He was dumbfounded. He couldn’t remember anything from this morning…nothing. He didn’t remember waking up. Did I eat…wash my face…brush my teeth? Why am I watching this show? I hate this show. He pointed his remote at the television in search of something else to watch, but the words within the channel guide were only symbols with no real meaning behind them. His mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t remember a damn thing about this morning, and it didn’t sit well with him. He felt like he was thrust into the day…no past and no future, just the present.
An annoying itch developed on this right thigh close to his groin area. Trying to sooth it through his jeans didn’t work so he shoved his hand into this pocket and scratched from there, finding that magical spot. His fingers moved in earnest, but they kept bumping against something inside his pocket that softly stabbed them. With an audible sigh of relief, he stopped scratching and poked around deeper into his pocket. Something stabbed his fingers again. He pulled the object out with his index and middle fingers. It was a folded piece of paper. What is this? He leaned forward on the bed while the paper crackled as he unfolded it. Once opened, he began reading it. It was a strange list of names he didn’t recognize along with a series of websites. What the hell is this? He read everything then re-read it trying to make sense of it all. Where did I get this?
Nothing made any sense. Half his day was missing and finding that piece of paper in his pocket didn’t help matters at all. The phone rang in the kitchen and he ran downstairs to answer it thinking, Now what?
He brushed his hair back and answered, “Hello?”
“Hey, did you get the email with those names?”
A couple of seconds passed before he recognized Kyle’s voice and asked, “What email?”
“The email I sent when you came over here a while ago. You know. The same names I printed on that piece of paper I gave you.”
“You gave that to me? When did I go to your house?”
“Man, what is wrong with you. Yeah, you came over to my house this morning.”
“I don’t remember. Why did I come over there?”
“Okay, you’re joking right? You know why. You wanted to see those webpages and get those names.”
“What am I going to do with a bunch of names?”
“I don’t know, dude. You’re the one that wanted them?” Kyle said sounding annoyed.
“Did I tell you why I wanted them?”
“No.”
“Kyle, I think something’s wrong with me. I mean it. I’m not remembering things. I don’t remember going to your house or talking to you this morning. I don’t remember anything from this morning. A little while ago, I found myself in my bedroom, and I don’t remember anything before that. ”
“Really? Well dude, you did come over here and you scared the crap out of me when you knocked on my door. You asked me to show you those websites, and I did. Then you asked me about those names and to print them up for you, so I did. Then you just left. I even heard you talking to my mother when you left. You seemed normal to me.”
“Damn, I don’t remember any of that.”
“Wow! I think you’d better stay in the house for the rest of the day.”
“I think so too. I might call you a little later.”
“Okay. I’m not going anywhere. Not in this rain.”
“Alright. Bye.”
“Bye.”
Back in his room, Adam sat on the edge of his bed. What about yesterday? What did I do yesterday? He remembered munching on a bowl of cereal for breakfast, then watching television for a while before accompanying his mother to the store. Oh no…I can’t remember what store we visited. He dropped his head into his hands trying to remember, but drew a blank. He couldn’t remember coming back home, but he did remember eating dinner. That was around seven o’clock in the evening. More hours lost. Asking his mother what happened yesterday could open a Pandora’s Box, and not knowing what happened today was already too much for him. Instead of trying to recall the things he did yesterday and today, he began paying attention to what he was doing right now. There was some stupid show on television, and that’s when he became very aware of his surroundings. The best thing he could do is live minute by minute. At least that’s what he thought.
A couple hours later, he heard his parents enter the house. He never checked to see if they were at home. At least he didn’t remember checking. He went downstairs to greet them and ask them where they’ve been. The answers he received were startling. He didn’t remember his mother coming upstairs to his room and telling him that she and his father were driving their cars to the repair shop. He stood there, in somewhat of a daze, then seconds later, he pretended like he remembered so she wouldn’t begin asking more questions. The rest of the afternoon and evening chugged along normally. No more blackouts, but that didn’t stop him from worrying about them.
What if I did something crazy, like try to hurt myself or hurt others? How would I explain it? His eyes widened when a more terrifying thought crept into his head. What if I acted normally and didn’t remember any of it, like when he went over to Kyle’s house in the morning? How could I explain that? Everyone would say I acted normally. Thoughts like those poked at him all night and watching television couldn’t shake them loose. He figured the best thing to do was to go to bed. He’d been through enough today.