My first shift was tough. This game was definitely faster than I was used to. On my second shift, I wasn’t taking any crap from number 27. He had nailed me on my first shift hard in the corner. I just laid him out, he staggered to his feet using the boards for support and made his way to the bench. I got two minutes in the box for it, but it was worth it. My teammates cheered me from the bench.
I played hard the entire game against Oshawa. I only managed to get an assist. For my first OHL game I knew I did well. The guys were happy with the way I played. We won 3-2. We would play them again in two days at their home arena in Oshawa. It would only be a day trip. I couldn’t wait to go on my first road trip, somewhere far and stay in the hotel; really get the feel of being a true hockey player.
Some of the guys were going out the bar after the game to celebrate. I of course couldn’t. I wasn’t of age. Some of the guys had fake I.D.’s saying they were nineteen. I wasn’t about to do anything to get myself in trouble with the coach, so I went home. Alex mentioned that he would be going to the bar with the guys. I told him to have fun.
I left the arena with Cathy and Harry. They complimented me on the good game I played, and told me how proud they were of me. I told them I couldn’t wait to call my parents and tell them about it.
I went in my bedroom with the cordless phone when I got home and dialed. Dad answered on the second ring. “Hey Dad,” I said.
“Christine, we miss you. How did your first game go?” He asked.
“It was great, much faster than I expected. These guys can really skate up here.” I informed him. “But I got an assist and I laid out number 27, knocked the wind right out of him, you should have seen him stagger to his bench.” I raved.
“I’m so proud of you honey.” He marveled. “Keep up the hard work, I’ll let you speak to your mother now,” he said. “I love you Christine.”
“Love you to Dad.” I responded.
I spoke to my mother for over twenty minutes. I told her about the beauty day and make over with Cathy. I asked her if she had seen the pictures that I had posted on my Facebook page. She had. She thought I looked beautiful in them. I told her about school and my friend Lauren. She worried about me and all these boys.
I assured her that Moose had seemed to take on the role of my protector, and not to worry about them. It seemed that since I had been away from home, our relationship had gotten much stronger. I could actually speak to my parents without everything turning into an argument. That was a nice change.
After I got off the phone, I crawled into bed. My cell phone started vibrating around 3:00 a.m., I answered it half asleep. It was Alex, he sounded very drunk.
“I have to tell you something Christine.” He started. He sounded guilty and nervous. I knew this was going to be bad. My heart sunk instantly.
“What did you do Alex?” I raised my voice to him on the telephone, demanding an answer.
“Some of the guys and I went to this chick’s apartment, and she screwed them. I didn’t do anything, I swear! I just watched,” he gulped.
“Alex, goodnight!” I said hanging up the phone. I turned it off because I knew that he would keep calling.
I should have expected this. Moose had warned me what he was like. What all the guys were like. It didn’t matter to me that he only watched. It was just as bad as him joining in, as far as I was concerned.
Yes, I was glad he gave me the respect and told me. I figured he only told me, because he knew I would hear about it in the locker room tomorrow at practice. As much as I cared about Alex. I wasn’t about to put up with crap like that from him. Tomorrow I would tell him it was over. That we were only going to be friends.
I went to see if Moose was home. He was in his room on the computer. He told me to come in. I noticed that some girl on his screen had her web cam on and was giving him a show.
I groaned disgusted. “I have bad timing, I will leave you to your porn star.” I slammed his door.
My parents drilled it into me that if I didn’t respect myself, then no one else would respect me. What was wrong with these girls? Why did they think it was OK to do these things? I shouldn’t judge, but when it affected me, it wasn’t alright. I wouldn’t stand for it.
An hour later Moose came into my room. I was crying. He crawled into bed with me and cuddled. I pushed him away.
“Moose, I just want to be alone please.” I whimpered through fresh tears.
“No Chris, what’s going on. Tell me. We’re friends,” he coaxed.
“It’s nothing, home sick I guess.” I lied.
“I don’t believe that’s all your upset about.” He could read me like a book. “Is it Alex?” He questioned me. Although I could tell he already knew the answer.
“For the millionth time Moose, there is nothing going on between Alex and me.” I shouted.
“I wasn’t born yesterday Chris.” He chuckled. “I am not blind. I know you fairly good and him way too well.”
“We kissed that’s it, then I told him we just had to be friends that’s all.” I sobbed harder. “Then tonight he called me telling me that he went with the guys and watched 4 of them tag team some whore.”
“Well that’s for the best and you know it.” He was referring to me telling Alex that we should only be friends. “I am here for you anytime you feel like talking though.”
He snuggled up to me. “You smell really good.” He said, wrapping his arms around me tighter.
I rolled my eyes. Why was everything about sex to guys. I know he meant well, but he was very touchy feely with me tonight. I knew that if I was older he would probably try to sleep with me to. I wanted to push him off the bed, but I had to admit that it was nice to be held. I fell asleep in his arms.
When I woke up in the morning, Moose was snoring away. I went up to the kitchen and ate breakfast with Cathy and Harry. They were going out of town for the night to a wedding. I told them to have a good time and hugged them good bye.
I was in the living room, in the basement doing my homework when the doorbell rang. It was Alex. I tried to shut the door on him. He pushed his way through.
“We need to talk Christine,” he demanded.
“No, no we don’t Alex.” I stomped down the stairs. I was about to enter my room when I remembered that Moose was still sleeping in there. That would not go over well. I stopped, turned and walked to the couch.
“Christine, I was with the guys, they were my ride, I couldn’t just leave,” he groaned. “I swear to you I didn’t do anything. I would never cheat on you. You mean more to me then I ever thought possible. You need to know that.” He reached out to hold me. I pushed him away.
“You should have called a cab and left. You didn’t have to go to that girl’s place.” I reminded him.
“You’re the one who wanted to keep us a secret. Don’t you think the guys would have suspected something if I didn’t go with them?” He pleaded trying to use my own words against me.
“You’re unbelievable! You should hear yourself.” I retorted.
Just then Moose emerged from my bedroom in only his boxers. The yelling must have woken him up. Alex starred at me in disbelief.
“You have some nerve to ball me out for what I did, when I see him,” pointing to Moose; “walking out of your bedroom half naked.” He yelled and threw his arms up in the air.
He started to leave. Moose ran after him. He ran outside in his boxers to catch him. They talked on the front porch for a while then Moose came back in alone.
“That’s one pissed off guy you have on your hands,” he informed me. “Good Luck with that.”
I wasn’t going to put up with this shit. I needed to focus on hockey. Now I knew why it was so hard for girls to make it on a guys team. Sex and love always complicated things.
“Thanks a lot Moose.” I managed to choke out. Then I went into my room and slammed the door.
Not long after I went into my room. My door cricked open. Alex was standing at the foot of my bed.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered softly. He sat down at the end of my bed.
“Moose said you were crying last night. He came in to comfort you and then he passed out.” He said quietly. “Is that what really happened Christine?”
“Yes.” I managed to say through my tears. “Alex, I care about you a lot. I know you care about me. This whole situation, hockey, the guys, the girls, you, being away from home.” I shook my head “It’s so much to deal with. I really think we have to keep it professional and just be friends and teammates, for now anyway.”
He nodded “I understand. I don’t want to see you hurt or upset.” He encouraged. “It’s OK if you date other guys.” He went on. “I will prove to you that I do want to be with you. I won’t be with anyone. Maybe at the end of the season we can try and work things out between you and I.”
I could see tears swelling in his eyes. He meant what he said. I crawled onto his lap and just let him hold me in his arms. I looked up and touched his face. I did care about him. I kissed him gently on the cheek.
“Alex, I know this is going to be hard but we have to try.” I sighed.
“I will try my best. I’ll go now and we can talk later.” He told me. He squeezed me tight and then placed me on my bed, kissing my lips softly.
My mouth turned up into a pout, he snickered at my expression. “No one has ever had such a tight hold on me as you have, and you have it without even trying,” he confessed.
When I was with him, it was hard to think about anything else but him. “And you don’t think that you have that same type of hold on me?” I replied.
He looked at me with those deep green eyes of his. “I wish you’d let me inside that head of yours. Tell me what you’re thinking right now?” He pondered for a minute “I suppose you won’t though.”
“Nope.” I kissed him, not willing to let him go. I knew I had to say good bye. We had practice later, and I had much thinking to do. He finally left me to ponder what had happened between us just now.
I laid in bed for hours. Processing everything. Getting my priorities straight. I came to the conclusion that Alex and I would be able to maintain a relationship as long as we kept it separate from hockey.
If we could stay professional about the situation then would it really be that big of a deal? We would have to keep it a secret. Coach wouldn’t like it and neither would our teammates. It was certainly a do-able thing. I couldn’t think about it anymore. I knew it had to be him and me, just staying friends for now, that’s it. When I came out Moose was sitting on the couch.
“Did you guys work things out?” He questioned me.
“Yeah, we did.” I informed him. “It’s going to be fine. We are just going to be friends. He understands how important this is for me.”
“Good, I have a lot more respect for him now,” he muttered.
Alex was true to his word and kept everything professional during practice. I noticed Moose was monitoring the situation closely. Moose knew how hard everything was for me. I had a lot more to deal with than the average player. He had it rough his first year. I was a girl, it would be twice as hard for me. For the moment we would remain friends and I would try and move on.
The next several games were all home games or close to home. We won only one, lost 3. Coach was still moving around the lines. Trying to find the best fit for us all. What the best way to help the team would be. I managed to get a little power play time. That was a big deal for me. I hadn’t scored at all, I was getting worried. Maybe I wasn’t good enough to be playing here. The guys explained to me that once I got my first goal, the rest would just come. I just needed to get the monkey of my back.
I got into my first fight during the 3rd game we played. It was against Trenton. They were a new team in the league. This was their first year, and they were trying to prove themselves. I lost the fight, but gave the guy two sucker punches and broke his nose. I had a split lip and a black eye. I went to the room, got it sewed up and was back on the ice right away.
Alex cringed away when he saw my injuries. Some of the guys had issues fighting with a girl. Some felt I played with balls, and saw me as just another opponent.
On the bus ride home Alex decided to sit with me. We didn’t talk about anything unusual, because we had agreed to just be friends. It was dark on the bus. We were watching game footage on the television mounted to the front of the bus. I had a blanket stretched out over me and was all curled up in my seat. It was common for players to fall asleep on each others shoulder’s, the seats weren’t very comfortable. I placed my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.
He reached under the blanket with his hand and took mine in his and squeezed. He held my hand the entire forty minute trip home.
We had a week of practices, then we were going on our first real road trip of the season. We call it a three in four. That meant we had three of the tougher teams to play in four days. It was going to be brutal.
Coach told me I would have a room to myself in the hotels. Usually it was only the older guys who got a room to themselves, or players for special reasons. I guess being the only girl on the team had some advantages.
At school that week I socialized more. I had met a few new girls. They seemed nice, a lot different from me. I went to the movies with them on Wednesday after practice. We had fun. They flirted with the guys who were hanging around outside the movie theatre. I tried my best to join in. I was trying to move on, but all I really wanted was to be with Alex.
He had been true to his word so far. He was spending his time, studying his online university course, practicing and hanging around his billet’s house.
I had to give him credit, and so did Moose. Of course, Moose was the only person who knew about Alex and I. Our forbidden love. We were still not together but we both wanted to be.
I didn’t know what to pack for the road trip. Moose gave me a rundown of things I would need. My laptop computer, my IPOD, a pillow for the bus. I packed my favorite blanket. It was so warm and soft. I was sure I had packed everything I needed. I was excited.
Everyone who plays hockey shares a bond. A connection with everyone else who has ever laced ‘em up. I was really starting to bond with the guys on my team. They treated me like any other player on the team. It wasn’t even uncomfortable for any of us now in the dressing room. They respected my privacy and I respected theirs. Coach said he was proud of the way all of us were handling the situation. We were proving that having a girl on the team would not be a problem with the right guidance.
We left the rink after supper, and we arrived in Belleville shortly before 8 p.m. that Thursday night. I needed to rest because we had our first game on the Friday.
We checked into our rooms for the night. I knew some of the guys had made plans to hook up with girls they knew in town. I had heard them discussing it on the bus. Players, always thinking with the wrong head. I was laying in bed talking on my MSN when Alex popped up online.
Alex – Watcha ya doing beautiful
Cmatthews – Nadda u
Alex – Lonely, thinking about you
Cmatthews – What a coincidence lol
Alex – I miss you
Cmatthews - miss you 2
Alex – Want some company? (wink)
Cmatthews – BEHAVE YOURSELF
Alex – Purdy Please Hun
Cmatthews – can u sneak away without being noticed?
Alex – Yup give me 10
Cmatthews – K
I shut off my computer and rushed into the bathroom to shower quickly. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair, but left it wet. I put on my tank top and a pair of old shorts with holes in them. I sprayed some perfume into the air and walked through it, so it wouldn’t be that strong.
Then waited. My heart started to flutter when twenty-five minutes later there was a quiet knock at my door. I opened it and pulled Alex into the room rapidly before anyone saw him.
“Hi!” I smiled looking up slightly towards him. I was afraid to get caught
in his tractor beam eyes.
“Hi!” He said wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me. As he was kissing me, he backed me up slowly towards the bed. We fell on the bed together still kissing.
I started to giggle. “You are very bad for me, you know that right.” I joked.
“I think it’s the other way around.” He chuckled and then cuddled with me from behind. He placed the side of his face on my cheek.
We just laid there holding each other for a while. “You are to damn sexy for your own good. You look unbelievable in what your wearing, with your hair all wet.”
I sighed “What are we doing here Alex? This is wrong. We have to stop.”
“I don’t know Hun. Don’t worry, it will all work itself out,” he whispered. “I better get back to my room before some one notices I’m gone.”
“Stay just a little while longer please.” I insisted.
“Twist my arm, eh!“ He teased me.
Then suddenly there was a knock at my door. Crap! What if it was the coach?
“Alex hide in the bathroom.” I whispered.
It was the coach. I opened the door looking tired and ready for bed.
“Hey Coach.” I yawned.
“I just wanted to make sure everything was alright with you.” He said his eyes scanning around my room.
“Everything’s good. I’m just heading to bed. I want to be well rested for tomorrow.” I told him.
“Good if you need anything I’m up one floor, room 210.” He informed me. “Have a good night.” Then he left my room.
Alex emerged smirking from the bathroom where he’d been hiding.
“That was close,” he laughed.
“Too close, we are going to have to be a little more careful.” I warned. “Time for you to leave.” I said pushing him towards the door.
“Never!” He chuckled. “You’re mine forever, don’t you forget that.” He grabbed me into a bear hug. I squirmed out of it. I took a quick peak out in the hall. It seemed safe enough.
“Go, get out of here!” I said pushing him out into the hall. He fought me and pushed his way back into my room and shut the door behind him.