Convention
For the next two days, Justin sat down with the Bible and continued in his meditation. For a long time, he just could not get any thoughts for the upcoming meetings to the extent that he was getting distressed, when ultimately, in the middle of the night, the Word that he was reading quickened his spirit and he started to feel comfortable.
The Sunday church service went on very nicely and the thoughts shared by Justin from the Bible blessed everyone. Once home from the church, the boys became busy preparing for school the next day, while Pearl and Justin sat down in their bedroom discussing the church meetings. All of a sudden, Pearl asked if everything was all right with Sushmita, as she was not looking her usual self in the church. Justin expressed his ignorance towards anything unusual in the matter. She continued saying that she noticed Sushmita looking at him intently during the church service. He became cautious on hearing that statement but responded with the shrug of his shoulders and tried to change the subject. Justin did not want Pearl to dwell further on the subject because he knew his face might give him away. However, her observation troubled and surprised him. He thought to himself, what am I getting into?
That night, he seriously prayed for himself so that he may not fall into this temptation again. He loved his God, he loved the ministry, he loved his wife, he loved his family, and he did not want to jeopardise any of it. Justin’s commitments to all were genuine and sincere.
The next morning, before going to the church office, he called James, a church member who, as per Justin’s knowledge, was free on that Monday morning and asked him if he could devote some time to the brochure work, as the date was drawing closer. James expressed his willingness, so Justin picked him up on the way to the church office. Once at the office, they immediately got down with the brochure work. After nearly an hour, Sushmita arrived, and she was surprised to see James there. When told that James would help them with the work that day, she indirectly expressed her displeasure with the idea by not communicating with Justin. All his queries about the work faced a stonewall. That day, they were able to accomplish quite a lot with the brochure work but Sushmita kept her stance of not speaking, while at the same time chatted up James to Justin’s chagrin. In the evening, James needed to attend to some work so he left an hour before the usual time Sushmita and Justin would leave otherwise.
Once James had left, it took lot of coaxing on Justin’s part to make Sushmita talk to him. The first thing that she asked was the reason he brought James to the office without giving her a heads-up. However, without waiting for his answer, she continued to say that Pearl was being nosy about her the other day. Now it was Justin’s turn to be surprised.
‘What was that about Pearl being pushy with you?’ Justin asked with concern in his voice.
‘Well, yesterday after the church, Pearl came up to me and asked if I was okay. When I said that everything was fine, she persisted and asked if I wanted to say something to the Pastor that is you’.
‘So what did you tell her?’
‘I said that yes, I need to see the pastor, to which she asked if she could be of some help instead. Now does she have a problem with that? Why should she have a problem if I am looking at you? Everyone looks at the pastor, right?’ was the question thrown directly at Justin.
‘Ah I see…’ was the small reply that was cut short by the sound of Sushmita’s stomping feet.
All of a sudden, everything became clear to Justin—the undercurrents that brought this turbulence between the two women, Pearl’s sarcastic comments, Sushmita’s aggressive posture, and everything in between. It was something to be alarmed about—there was problem brewing and it was getting serious.
Sushmita’s voice interrupted his thoughts, ‘You didn’t tell me why you had to bring James with you this morning’.
Justin was never a quick-witted person. Whether this attribute was good or bad, this was not the time to think about it. At her insistence, he truthfully answered saying that the other day, Pearl did tell him about her observation that Sushmita was looking at him intently. He explained that in order to quell such thoughts—‘ones’ that Pearl was already entertaining—he thought it proper to bring James along with him.
In fact, Justin’s statement infuriated Sushmita even more and in a second, she swooped and sat down next to him. Taking his face in her hands, she asked him, ‘Do you love me?’ Justin, who just yesterday was seriously thinking of having a talk with Sushmita and putting his inordinate affections for her behind him, again found himself looking into those light brown eyes that had bewitched him before.
He truly loved God and wanted to serve Him with sincerity. At home, he had firmly decided to tell Sushmita that what they were getting into was inappropriate—a sin, in fact—and that they needed to keep their relationship pure, but now looking into her eyes, with her sitting so close to him, his flesh and mind were telling him not to say any of those. Instead, her closeness made him excited all over again. He could feel his body responding wildly with just the thought of holding her in his arms. He had kissed those beautiful lips before and they were there for him to savour once again. Her luscious figure was filling his imagination with thoughts of unspeakable pleasures. His trichotomous being was losing control and his dichotomous self was gaining advantage. A tremendous struggle raged between his spirit and flesh. His thoughts from the other night—his commitment to God, his commitment to Pearl, the thoughts about his sons— were getting clouded, and a strong desire to savour the moment was overpowering Justin. Unable to contain the desires of his flesh any longer, with a strong pull of his arms he scooped her up unto his lap; his lips pressing hard against hers. For a few moments, she went limp in his arms by the suddenness of his reaction, but then her lips responded to his onslaught with an urgency that made them both go dizzy in the head. Each gasp for breath was filled with proclamations of love. She dug her teeth deep in his shoulders and her nails in his back while his hands explored the soft roundness of her bosom, the apex of which had become taut by the touch of his fingers. Swooning with ecstasy, soon they found themselves bringing each other to ‘pleasures’ without the act of consummation. After the rush of euphoria was over, they held each other very intimately, looking dreamily in one another’s eyes. Not wanting the blissful moments to pass, they kept on confessing their love for one another, exchanging small kisses all the while.
Samantha Solomon
She was an avid fan of Justin as a preacher. Though an elder in her own Main Line church, she would always find time to attend Justin’s church meetings. Following the heritage of a family that devoted itself to impart education in the city of Delhi, Samantha Solomon, a high school teacher, was a well-respected figure. Her elderly mother, an educationist of the years of yore, would drop by unannounced in the church office and talk at length with Justin on biblical subjects.
One fine morning, Samantha received a call from one of her close relatives that her uncle Mr. Patrick who had been hospitalised repeatedly in the past was again taken ill and he wanted to see her before proceeding to the hospital. She called Justin and requested him to come along with her in the evening to pray for her uncle. Justin never took such occasions lightly and as such in the evening he, along with Pearl, reached Samantha Solomon’s house. From there, they traveled in her car to go to her uncle’s place, which was near the famous Kutab Minar of Delhi. As soon as they entered the room where her uncle was lying on the bed, Justin felt some kind of heaviness in his heart. There was another person present in the room—the pastor of Samantha’s church, of which she was officially the member. Samantha felt a bit uneasy for the sake of Justin but soon his conduct made her feel comfortable. By now, Justin had learnt the art of making himself—and others—comfortable in situations like this when pastors from Main Line churches were also present. Pastor Simon, a small-statured person with a moustache styled after Charlie Chaplin, acknowledged Justin and Pearl’s presence with the nod of his head. Then, with a very pleased expression on his face, he co
ntinued the conversation that he was having with Samantha’s uncle. Soon, Mr. Patrick handed over a few signed checks to Pastor Simon and said that the amount was a donation from him to the church. In spite of the seriousness of the situation, Justin could not ignore the twinkle in Pastor Simon’s eyes, that he felt directed at him. Soon thereafter, Pastor Simon said a prayer in all its grandiloquence and left the place.
All along, Justin was feeling the heaviness in his heart about this man whom he was meeting for the first time. Mr. Patrick, the elderly man whose gray hair gave him the respectability of age, was lying down on his bed in this very well furnished room. Samantha introduced him to Justin and Pearl as a very accomplished man—a person of great standing in church and the society at large, and that he had a very generous heart. The last attribute needed no mention as Justin and Pearl had just witnessed it.
Justin continued to feel very uncomfortable in his spirit and after some time, gathering great courage, he asked Samantha and others of the family to leave the room as he wanted to be alone with the gentleman. At their departure, he opened up his Bible reading a few passages from it and exhorting Mr. Patrick to seek forgiveness for his sins and ask for the Lord’s mercy. Justin told him that, in the presence of God, our righteousness is but like rags and we all need to approach him with a broken spirit and a contrite heart. Most unexpectedly, and to the amazement of Justin and Pearl, the elderly man started to cry with tears slowly welling up in his eyes. He stretched forth his hand to hold Justin’s and soon started to sob uncontrollably. Justin let him pour out his heart in silence in front of God and then after some time, again led him in prayer.
On the way back, Samantha asked Justin about the happenings inside the room and he told her that her uncle needed to give and to receive. He needed to give his heart to God with all humility and in return, receive his salvation; and Justin believed that is exactly what happened in that room.
After three days, Samantha called Justin to tell that her uncle passed away the other morning, and that he was very peaceful and even told his family members that he was ready to leave.
‘Amen’, said Justin. He decided to attend the funeral of her uncle that was to take place that afternoon at a cemetery in Khan Market.
Envy & Cemetery!
In the city of Delhi, Pastors representing churches of different denominations at times get thrown together by circumstances and attend funerals of deceased Christians who were well known in the community. Apart from the grief of the families and the consolation offered by all and sundry during such funerals, there was also a ‘hidden element’ during such a solemn time: an ‘element’ of competition between the pastors from different churches. It happened at the funeral of deceased Mr. Patrick too. Justin found that although this spirit of rivalry was hidden from the eyes of the people who had come to attend the funeral, it was still ever-present amongst the clergy in attendance. The spirit of envy in a cemetery may sound ‘unreal’ but that is exactly what Justin had experienced on many such occasions. It used to become a testing ground for pastors—their influence, their scriptural knowledge, how well they could recite scriptures without referring to any written text, and their capability to lead the procession by singing time-tested hymns, masterfully modulating their vocal chords to change notes from bass to tenor. They would say prayers, interwoven with long passages from the scriptures, with the show of emotions that were compounded with resonating deep-throated voices, the cry of which seemed to reach the heavens itself. How many followers each clergy had on the site, how many people attending the funeral paid them their respect—all such things added to the respectability of the attending pastors.
Justin reached the funeral ground wearing his black jacket with his small reference notebook kept in the inside pocket. In due course, the funeral entourage arrived and the accompanying people disembarked from their vehicles. Pastor David stepped out from the lead car wearing a white, double-breasted cassock complete with an overlay purple tapestry stole and strode purposefully to take his place at the head of the procession. Various pastors from other Main Line churches quickly joined him. This array of church ministers wearing their white or black cassocks and priestly robes of various hues, reciting lessons from the scripture at the top of their voices with a heavy accent, led the procession to the place where the freshly dug grave was prepared.
Justin, by his experience, had known that making a place in the hearts of people was easy but gaining acknowledgment from a pastor belonging to another denomination was near impossible. By now, he had learnt to deal with such situations and kept his pace behind the leading band of the pastors. He was relieved when, after a while, Samantha and some other family members of the deceased joined him on the way. At the site of the freshly dug grave, when the people accompanying the procession had taken their places, Pastor Simon started to speak and requested the other pastors to assist him in the burial ceremony—in the process completely, purposefully, and successfully ignoring Justin. It was at this moment that the brother of the deceased quickly scribbled something on a small piece of paper and passed it on to Pastor Simon, who had just opened his Bible to start the burial ceremony. While looking at the contents of the note, his countenance changed but quickly overcoming it, he announced that the memorial service for the Late Mr. Patrick was to take place the week after in Pastor Simon’s church and the family desired Mr. Justin to bring forth the Word of God on that day. He never liked addressing Justin as ‘Pastor’ but rather took pleasure in addressing him as Mr. Justin. In spite of being the leader of a very big church Pastor Simon was beset with some kind of insecurity and Justin knew that he was the last person to like the idea of him speaking at the memorial service—and that, too, in his own church. However, by God’s grace, people appreciated the way Justin expounded the Word from the Bible, in contrast to many pastors of Main Line churches, and Justin was thankful to God for this anointing.
After the burial service, Justin rushed back to the church office, as the brochure work needed his attention. In addition, he also needed to take care of a few arrangements for the upcoming convention in the city of Agra.