How Can They?
Biding their time, Sushmita and Justin waited to see the response the meeting would have once the co-pastors decided to brief the people who mattered the most. However, after a couple of days when they did not encounter any unwanted attention from anyone in the families or from the church members, they made out that his co-pastors had not divulged the details yet to anyone.
Then one day, out of blue, Justin received a telephone call from Ravi, the youngest co-pastor, who wanted him to come to his house along with Sushmita. There he proposed to call another elderly pastor, fondly known as Sadhu ji, who had been a guest preacher in some of their church meetings. Justin was skeptical at first, but then decided to go there with Sushmita. To him, this seemed like a step forward where someone was calling them together and in the process acknowledging their relationship.
On the way, Justin and Sushmita were rather subdued for they did not know the real purpose behind the meeting. Throughout the drive, Sushmita sat close to Justin resting her head on his shoulders, the only thing they confirmed again in not so many words was their commitment towards each other. Having come so far, they did not want anyone to raise false hope of their going separate ways. Their resolve was firm.
Not affiliated to any church or denomination, this elderly man, the Sadhu ji, preached the Bible with the freedom of spirit, wherever he was invited. He always wore a white khadi kurta and dhoti with an open sandal modelled after the Gandhian dress code. Sporting a dense, white moustache that merged with the long, flowing white beard, he commanded respect and attention for the aura he thus created around him. He was well-versed with the Bible. Extensively travelled, this elderly preacher was bold and straightforward. Driving towards the residence of Ravi, Justin and Sushmita remembered an instance when Sadhu ji was preaching in one of their church meetings and faltered in his speech.
Justin was always articulate with his speech. He was careful about the way he spoke and even in his carefree moments, his speech did not falter. He attributed this quality to his mother and to his father, respectively, but for entirely different reasons. To his mother, for she was the most soft-spoken person, he had ever known. Except for the times when he was very young and would indulge in some silly activity, she would raise her voice, accompanied with the raised index finger of her right hand, which used to serve as the warning for what would otherwise follow as the result of continuous defiance.
For corporal punishments, as and when demanded according to the act committed, she had reserved a red, two-foot long foot-ruler that was kept safely in one corner of their house. Justin and his younger sister, though very close to each other in age, would always wait for such opportunity when their mother would need that correction rod for either of them. At such times, sibling rivalry came to the fore and the other would run to fetch the fearsome red stick and respectfully put it in the hands of their mother, before pulling back to a safe distance. Their mother would then wave the scale in the air quite a few times giving the most fearsome impression; however, the strike with it would not be more than a tap on the palm of their hands and that was the extent their mother would go to punish them.
Their father, on the other hand, had seen action on the Burma front in the late forties. Stoutly built, he had a commanding voice that of an Indian army subedar (in-charge of five to ten soldiers). Justin did not remember ever being hit by his father, but would tremble at his thundering voice that sounded as if he was giving marching orders to his soldiers. Justin always feared and resented his voice, which in its most subtle form was also like a war cry.
At that very young age itself, Justin had decided that he would never raise his voice and be aggressive, but would follow the way his mother conducted herself.
He remembered to have broken this pattern only once in his life when, during college, he was attending an NCC (National Cadet Corp) camp conducted in the desert city of Sardar Shahar in Rajasthan. He was an under-officer cadet in the NCC and realised that, while commanding a big squad of more than 200 cadets, his soft-spoken attitude did not work to his advantage. It was at that time, the ‘once in lifetime’ occasion, that he screamed orders to his squad at the top of his voice. Not only did he resort to shouting at the top of his voice, but also learnt quite a few curse words that he used frequently in that NCC camp to command respect from the fellow cadets. That was his only brush with a loud voice accompanied with cursing. The soft-spoken attitude that he had nurtured all those years always put him in advantage and even in his carefree moments; he did not falter.
On the other hand, this Sadhu ji with his white flowing beard, while preaching in one of the church meetings, inadvertently used a mild curse word that left everyone aghast with disbelief.
On that day while going to meet Ravi his co-pastor, Justin had purposely asked Sushmita to wear a sari, so that she may look more mature. At the sound of the approaching car, Ravi came out to receive Justin and Sushmita and after the exchange of pleasantries, they all proceeded to the living room of his apartment. After they settled down, Ravi sent all his family members to the other room, leaving Justin and Sushmita with himself and Sadhu ji.
Ravi briefed Sadhu Ji of all that the co-pastors had talked to Justin in their last meeting and that it was the first time anyone was approaching Sushmita in the matter. To Justin’s surprise, Sushmita was sitting very confidently and intently listening to the conversation.
After the introductory talk, all of a sudden, Ravi directed a question at Sushmita, ‘Sister, how long do you know our Pastor?’
‘As long as you know him’, was her curt reply.
‘No, I mean how long you know him otherwise, I mean in a different way. You know what I mean’, said Ravi in an uncomfortable way.
‘Yes I know what you mean, and now I know him “well” for quite a few years’, was Sushmita’s unhesitant reply.
‘Pastor, what you have to say?’ Ravi said turning towards Justin.
‘You already know my position, Ravi.’
‘Knowing all the complications that you two would have to undergo, regarding the divorce of the Pastor couple, antagonising so many people in the church, don’t you two think that giving up each other is a smaller sacrifice that this demands?” said Sadhu Ji while caressing his long beard in a very thoughtful way.
‘Sadhu Ji, we have come too far to retrace our steps. I know what we are doing is not in the interest of anyone and may be not in our own interest either, but we are past that stage from where we can turn back’, said Justin trying to explain their point of view.
‘What stage you are talking about that you have crossed?’ asked Sadhu Ji.
‘He means we are so close to each other now that we cannot turn back’, Sushmita interjected trying to come to Justin’s rescue.
‘I feel that you can always turn back provided you have not reached a certain point in this relationship’, said Sadhu Ji.
‘What I mean is that people of opposite sex do so many things together which they should not be doing but everything can be ignored, forgiven, put behind provided they have not reached that stage in their relationship which will be really termed as adultery’, he continued.
In spite of all his shortcomings, until now, Justin has held onto the unspoken teaching of his mother and, and he and Sushmita though being very close to each other for the last so many years have never even contemplated crossing all limits in their relationship. Justin knew exactly what the Bible says about adultery and he felt that Sadhu Ji was diluting the severity of sin of sexual lust—provided the final act was not committed.
However, Justin could make out in his mind that if he said that they had not committed that final act, then these people would further pressurise them emotionally, to part company. So Justin said on behalf of Sushmita and himself, ‘Yes, we are past that’.
‘Oh, then nothing can be done’, was a precise but curt reply of Sadhu Ji.
Justin was aghast by the strange way they were approaching this matter. How can they put sin in
various categories? Though, they were trying to find a way out for the benefit of Justin and Sushmita, he knew that lust of the flesh does not have to be brought to the point of consummation to be called adultery. The Bible clearly tells that even looking at the opposite sex and lusting-after in the heart is adultery? You are a sinner and want to remain one, fine! So be it but what is written in the Bible cannot be diluted. Justin was now arguing against himself.
Anything outside marriage is sin. Anyone who gets into a relationship with another married person is committing a sin. What is this talk of levels? To what extent one goes in the relationship outside marriage does not make one more or less of a sinner. Sin is sin until it is acknowledged and repented, simple as that.
That was the end of their meeting with Ravi and Sadhu ji.