“An imprint?”
“Of course. What do you think imprints are? Putting a piece of yourself on someone else. What happened here—it left an imprint on this world, on this spot, and in turn gave me an opportunity to use it. So I was able to imprint a small piece of myself on Ava. That’s why when you saw me, you couldn’t see me very clearly. That’s why these past few years, you’ve only been able to see me in your dreams when Ava has been present with you. But what I hadn’t expected was for Richard to have been imprinted on you, too. But when you were a little boy, I saw your eyes and knew. That’s when I saw it all play out and knew what had to be done. And I knew that you two would be significants one day. I’m sorry that it had to happen this way.”
“I’m not,” Seth told he quickly and I looked at him, surprised, “but why did we need to see it?”
His hands constantly moved on me, and I didn’t know if he was trying to comfort me more or if he was just as riled up about everything as I was.
“Don’t you see?” she asked and looked us all in the eyes, even looking over at my parents. “What I’ve been trying to tell you all for years? I didn’t lock myself in this prison for nothing,” she groaned, agony on her face. “I did it for you. For all of you. He said I didn’t have the power. Oh, but I did, didn’t I?” She took a deep breath through her nose. “I let myself get snared in this prison of my own making, the palace taking me as the bounty, the price, the penalty, because someone had to. And I was willing to do that if that’s what it took for them to pay,” she ground out.
I opened my mouth, but I still wasn’t getting it. I was afraid that if I didn’t understand that she would go off the deep end.
“It was you,” Mom said and took a step toward her, Dad on her heels, a hand wrapped around her wrist, “you were the one who took the Virtuoso power. You put the curse on everyone.”
“It wasn’t a curse,” she sneered, but that turned to tears as she clutched her chest and her nightgown. “It was a price. It was a judgment. It was…something that everyone had to pay a price for because either they participated or they knew about it and did nothing. Everyone else was sins of the father. A mass cleansing.”
“Mass cleansings?” Dad muttered and shook his head. “I can think of someone else who did crazy things like that.”
Mom tried to stop him, shaking her head and putting her hand up, but it was too late. She must had understood something the rest of us didn’t. Ashlyn’s hands shook as she clawed at the front of her nightgown, her hands traveling her body in a way that suggested memories of….things. Horrible things. And then I got it, too.
“Oh, God. No,” I whispered.
How long had they kept her a prisoner? How long had they kept her against her will in that library, how long had he done God knows what to her? And her, powerless to stop him, no one would listen to her, an entire people who revered her so much, but revered their rules and regulations so deeply, and everyone all so scared of one man…and hadn’t saved her.
When I saw her yank the lapels of her nightgown to a close, as if she was in throes of a memory so violent she couldn’t help herself—I couldn’t help myself either.
I pulled from Seth, ran to the railing, and threw up, heaved over and over as I tried to picture that library I’d been to as a child as anything but her home—no. Her prison. I’d snuck up there, even though it was supposed to be off limits…
I peeked back at her just as I felt Seth’s hand on my back, rubbing circles. I felt his other hand start to pull my hair back, but I kept looking at her.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” I croaked. “Tell me that what I think happened to you didn’t happen.”
Seth’s head jerked and he stood slowly. Daddy was just now starting to get the gist also and cocked his head slowly. Dad made a small noise in his throat and then said, “No.”
“Caleb,” Mom implored.
“No,” Dad said louder and shook his head. He looked a little distraught in that moment and I didn’t understand…until he spoke. “Because if what you’re saying is true, then my great, great grandfather sat on that council with you knowing what was going on…and did nothing. And that can’t be true,” he said softly.
Ashlyn gulped. “He was a good man. His significant was a good woman. They were so new back then, and she…kept him busy having babies during my short stint as Visionary. And making them.” She smiled and I was surprised that it was genuine. “I was always envious that I would never get to experience certain aspects of a relationships and those were certainly several of them.”
Dad looked away from her to Mom. He looked so tired, worn down, just…done. She hugged him around his neck and then looked at Ashlyn. “Ashlyn, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that this happened, that…our kind,” Mom had to stop to compose herself, “wasn’t kind enough to you. I’m sorry that one man seemed to rule your entire fate and in essence all our fates. The Watsons don’t even know that they’re the ones who caused this, that their uncle was the one who did this and they are the ones who are starting the process all over again by not stopping.” She shook her head. “I’m so sorry for what happened to you.”
“He is but one bastard is a sea of bastards,” Ashlyn said, looking off to the side slowly and then clenching her fist on her nightgown again. “You’d think after all these years I’d have gotten over it, wouldn’t you?” she smiled and laughed once.
“No one ever gets over that, Ashlyn.”
“Never?” she asked in a whisper and swallowed loudly.
“Not completely. Can they defeat it? Yes. Can they make that person pay for what they did in a just form? Absolutely. But will they ever forget?” Mom whispered softly. “No. And they shouldn’t.”
Ashlyn nodded and then looked at me. Her eyes ticked to me, to Seth, and back to me. Then she walked over me slowly. She smiled as us. “I’ll miss you two most of all.”
“What do you—”
“You’ll remember everything from your dreams now. Everything will be as it should.” She looked at Seth. “Even when you’re crumbling, you’re this mountain, this strong thing that refuses to break or sway or give.” She smiled and once again I was shocked that she was genuine. “Never lose that. Never stop being that unmovable rock. I wish I could stay here and watch you two grow to love each other because that’s a love story I know will be epic.” Her eyes drifted back to me. “And don’t worry about your mind, child. It’s wide open now.” She winked. Winked! “It was the only way the dream you and Seth were going to be able to work together to make you fall for him. And work together against the Watsons. The real you had to be out of the loop.” I opened my mouth, completely flabbergasted, but she went on. “Goodbye, little bird.” When she reached for my face I opened my mouth again to—what. Stop her? I knew that nothing would be the same. I felt so bad for her and I just wanted more time with her or something. But she cupped my cheek, looking into my eyes and I gasped, feeling the cold of the last hour fade away completely.
I watched as the dreams I’d been having with Seth played out in front of my eyes in rapid speed. The palace, the birds, talking in my room…about me, the planning with the Watsons. It all made sense. We landed quite unceremoniously on my bed together. I heard Mom and Dad cursing somewhere else in my room, but I didn’t care and about them right then.
Seth leaned down to look at me, looking worried.
“Are you all right?” I nodded. “I’ve never ended up in a different place than where I went to sleep before.”
I smirked. “I’m sure she thought that was funny. She has a weird sense of humor if you couldn’t tell.”
“Ashlyn—” he questioned.
“Is at peace now. Truly,” I answered. I stared at him. He was laying on top of me on my bed, his elbows on either side of my head, his legs next to mine. I heard the door click shut and was grateful. My breaths got harder. “I remember now.”
“Everything?” he asked hopefully, low. His breaths were hard, too.
“Yes. Everything.??
? I bit into my lip for a second, gaining courage. He watched me do it. When his eyes met mine again I thought a small fire might start in the room because…daggum. Who knew blue the color of the ocean could be so hot.
He grinned all of a sudden, so entirely happy with that thought. He thought to himself that it was about time I caught up to speed on things, that he wasn’t sure how much longer he could have kept my real life and dream life separate like that. Something had to give. I felt my lips part. “I heard you,” I whispered.
“What?”
“I heard you.”
“No, I heard you that you heard me.” He chuckled at my raised eyebrow. “What do you mean you heard me? And be very specific.”
“You said it was about time I caught up.” He cocked his head. “And that you didn’t know how long you could keep—” Before I had even finished, he was already grinning again. “I’ve never heard you before without going in your mind and trying to, and then you can feel it when I do that.”
“This is the way it’s supposed to be. This is how it is for me all the time, all day long, being in your head. I think Ashlyn opened the trapdoor in your mind.” His brow creased. “Or maybe it was just a fluke.”
He was thinking that maybe since I was so worked up from the dream stuff that I was more gullible—
“That’s not what’s happening.”
Are you sure?
Yes, I’m sure.
He grinned again. I’m just joking. Obviously if you could hear me, you’d kick my ass over that one.
You’re lucky you and your ass are cute. Or else you’d get a beat down for that.
I pushed him to roll off me and climbed over him as he laughed. “A beat down?” He watched me from the bed as I put toothpaste on my toothbrush.
“A beat down,” I agreed with a nod of my head, but didn’t look at him. I started to brush my teeth and realized he was watching my every move. I turned to look at him. He was all sprawled out on my bed sexily as I washed away where I’d lost my lunch. And still he looked at me as if it was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Now that I could hear him and tangibly knew that he could hear me, I could hear that he thought it was the sexiest thing. I shook my head at him and pushed the door shut slowly. I could still hear everything he was thinking on the other side of it. He was glad this was finally over, that he felt like he finally had me and us, that one day he was going to watch me brush my teeth and there was nothing I could do to stop him. I laughed quietly and rinsed my mouth.
He was right. Listening to his mind wasn’t just information, it was beautiful and was the way it was always supposed to be. We’d been cheated. I had been cheated. I hated that all this time had been taken from us. Honestly it felt like the most important time—the beginning. I knew that Ashlyn has her reasons, it was for a purpose, but it didn’t mean that it didn’t suck. But it wasn’t irreparable, it wasn’t something that couldn’t be undone. In fact, I was looking forward to the undoing.
I opened the door to find him directly on the other side, his arms in the doorframe.
He didn’t say another word, he just moved in, cupping my face gently but firmly, and took my mouth because he owned it, groaning deep in his throat.
He tugged me to him, making our legs intersect. He turned us until my back was against the wall in my bedroom. I let my arms hang on his hips as his mouth devoured mine. He was thinking about how things were going to change now, about how good my mouth tasted from toothpaste and just me, how I always tasted good, and about how he couldn’t wait to do an echoling with me where I could remember it the next day.
I sighed, tugging on his shirt, feeling lightheaded from so much at once. He pulled back a little, letting his forehead rest against mine.
We haven’t even gotten started. Like I said, you’ve got a lot of catching up to do. You’ve been missing out on this and I think it’s one of the reasons that it took you so long to…warm up to the idea of me. He chuckled once.
I didn’t laugh with him because he was right. If I could have been in his head like this all the time, knowing how he really felt all the time, not having to guess, not having to be a true girl about everything. If I could have been a real significant like I was supposed to, I’m sure our relationship would have been a lot different up to this point. I looked up at him.
He smiled. “You still fell for me even without it. How big of a compliment is that? It’s almost like we were a human couple.” I cocked my head with a smile. “Okay, that was a stretch.”
One of his hands slid to the back of my neck before he kissed me again. He turned us, kissing me the whole time, and started to push me, directing us until I felt the bed at the backs of my legs. He let my mouth go for a few seconds, long enough to push me down on the bed gently by my stomach. He followed me down quickly and reclaimed my mouth, his arms on either side of the bed beside me, but this time, I tugged his hair in my hands and used that as leverage. His groan this time I knew was all my doing and I smiled against his lips.
So smug.
Yeah, I am.
He smiled, too. I guess you earned it.
One of his hands came down and gripped my thigh, coaxing it up against his side, gripping my jeans with his hard fingers, and forcing a puff of excited breath to leave my lips. He used my wide open mouth to dive even deeper, our tongues not only brushing against each other, but fighting each other for delicious space.
I was the one who moaned this time.
His fingers on my thigh squeezed tighter.
Seth.
Ava.
I pulled back just far enough to see his eyes. “I wouldn’t want to be rescued if I was lost in them either.”
And I got lost in them for a long time.
_ _ _
In the morning, I expected to wake up and remember all the places he had taken me, but I didn’t. I only remembered the palace with Ashlyn and I wondered if I was broken again. I felt him shake his head behind me and turned to find him awake, which surprised me.
“You remember that echoling,” he said, “so why do you think you wouldn’t remember any of them anymore?”
Oh…right.
“I didn’t take you into another echoling. I figured we’d had enough for one night. It was the first time that I didn’t feel the pull like I had to come to you when you fell asleep.”
“So it’s truly over,” I said and let a breath go through my lips, not really understanding what that meant until then. I hadn’t even had time to process it. “And all that stuff with Ashlyn and Richard.”
“I don’t know what to make of all that,” he said quietly, “and really I don’t care. I don’t love you because someone told me to and I don’t love you because you like birds or old music or wax poetic sometimes or have brown eyes. I love you because you’re you and honestly, I don’t want to spend any more time worrying about it. I don’t want you to look at me every time you bite your lip and wonder if Ashlyn bit hers, too, and that’s the only reason.”
His eyes were soft even as his words were hard. He was letting me know this went no further and he meant it.
“Agreed.” I wouldn’t want to sit here and think that every time he looked at me if he was thinking about Ashlyn. I would drive myself crazy. We both needed to just forget this. I knew he’d heard me though. He tilted his head.
“Why would I think about her when I’m looking at you?”
“We went through a lot, Seth. I mean…” I looked down, “when you looked at her and gripped her chin and said she was me, it was really convincing.”
He brought my face back up. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry.” His voice was gruff.
I shook my head. “No, I’m not trying to be jealous or anything, I just....”
“I know that. And when you were screaming Richard’s name when he was dying…” he sighed, “God…it hurt in my guts, but I knew it wasn’t you.”
I cupped his face. “We were so naïve to think that we would just walk out of there and not have a scar left behind, huh
.” I thumbed the scar on his chin.
He looked me right in the eyes and said in a small voice, “They used to pit me and my cousins against each other.”
My gasp got stuck in my throat. “What?” I wheezed.
He gulped. “When I was a little boy. It started when I was eight.” When he was eight…
I knew I wanted to be a fireman since I was eight years old.
He took my fingers in his and ran them across the scar on his chin and then under his shirt to the long one on his stomach so I’d know what he was talking about. I shook my head ‘no’, but he kept going.
“That’s when the training began. The revenge training. They said we had to know how to fight since all their powers had been taken. Then they started to give us these…” he gulped again, “energy drinks.” He shook his head. “I know now that it was your mom’s blood and I can’t even believe they would do that to a bunch of kids. Though the rest of them probably knew. I was probably the only naïve one.”
“You weren’t naïve, you have a conscience.”
He continued on as if I hadn’t spoken. “They used to make us fight until one of us tapped out, passed out, or got knocked out. And that kid went to bed without food that night.”
“Oh, God no…”
“They even made Harper fight.” He looked up at me again and I got it. I finally got it. My sweet Seth had been protecting Harper all these years. “She was one of only two girl cousins and they never took it easy on them. They didn’t want to miss a meal because of them. And they didn’t want to get in trouble because of them. Our uncles said the Jacobsons would kill girls just the same. That they didn’t care if she was a girl so why should we.” He shook his head, looking sick. “There were seven of us that used to train together. When we got older, they stopped making us fight, especially since it wasn’t even organized, it was just throwing us together and saying ‘Whoever comes out wins’.”
“So how did you get this?” I asked and rubbed my hand on his stomach.