CHAPTER 3 – PARENTHOOD
PREGNANT!
I don’t like your breath, my darling
I don’t like my breath too
I feel nauseous most of the day
Like I’m about to spew.
I’m sleepy in the morning
And sleepy all the day
I’m sleepy in the evening
Oh darling, what can I say
Please close the door behind you
I don’t like the smell of food
You see all of that fine cooking
Makes me sick, sorry I’m rude
It’s all your fault, my darling
You made me feel this way
Now don’t disturb my baby
Wherein my womb it lay
So, no more sex, my darling
At least until I’m due
Well, just this once, I tell you
But no more till it’s due.
I’M A LEARNER’S PERMIT DADDY
I’m a learner’s permit daddy
Kitted out for my little girl
My mind’s all of a boggle
My heart’s in quite a whirl
I passed my nappy change diploma
With an award of golden poo
But I’m scared I might drown her
So bathing is overdue
I haven’t quite mastered baby-talk
And milk I can’t provide
Since my breasts are kinda small
And her mouth is mighty wide.
Sleeping is her fav’rite pastime
With mummy’s milk a second best
Poos and pees are done anytime
Whether awake or quietly at rest.
She’s my precious gem
As Jemimah is her name,
A pretty tiny femme
That sets my heart aflame.
JEM’S CHRISTENING DAY
Joy to the world
The angels did say
When a certain girl infant
Happened our way
God sprinkled his blessings
From heaven above
Showering Jemimah
With all his love.
The waters of life
Were poured over her head;
A new journey begun
A new daily bread.
Kissing her forehead,
Her crown he anointed
Now Jesus has sealed her
A Christian appointed.
Glad friends and family
Celebrated, surrounded,
A banquet prepared
With fun unbounded.
WHY
I know it is inevitable
In every child’s days
That the question must be posed
That no-one can erase
The question seems quite simple
But it’s worrying as a pimple
It slips by in one quick syllable
Yet the impression is indelible
No greater question can be asked
And no answer can be found
For no sooner do you answer
Then another level comes around
And it is that same dogged question
That smacks you in the face
Harder than ‘Green Eggs and Ham’
Can YOU hack the pace?
Oh why do we give them this power?
Why, oh why, oh why?
I am caught in this infinity
And I fear that I must lie
Why?
There is no reply
Yet they will not give up
They will not accept a sigh
I can only shrug or pass the buck.
“Go and ask your mother”
But soon the four-year-old returns
To query with another!
CHAPTER 4 – TECHNOLOGY
MOBILE (CELLPHONE) MADNESS
You find them on street corners
Stuck to someone’s ear
And in busy offices
With people on their rear.
Like buzzing black cicadas
They call out in refrain
Those annoying little mobiles
That drive us all insane.
They’re found in toilet cubicles
Where privacy is no more
And invade our sacred places
And on every nation’s shore.
Even the church and library
Echo to their sound
Those annoying little mobiles
Upwardly mobile, outward bound.
In our dining venues
Now smokers changed their tone
Instead of lighting Winfields
They switch on their mobile phone.
It’s enough to drive you crazy
This digital invasion
Those annoying little mobiles
Sing at every occasion.
I can hear them everywhere
With their many varied songs
And people chatting happily
Going hammer and tongs.
They wear them boldly on their hips
In smart leather cases
Those endearing little mobiles
That every person chases.
Telstra, Optus and Vodaphone
Compete for your attention;
They are a status symbol
With numbers too long to mention.
You can pay right through the nose
Or buy a pre-paid model
Those wonderful little mobiles
That we moddle-coddle.
TWEETING WITH MY BFF
Twitter, Twitter, Tweet, Tweet ...
Got the networking scene beat
Twitter, Twitter, Tweet, Tweet ...
I’m on Facebook and it’s neat
Twitter, Twitter, Tweet, Tweet ...
I’m on Twitter and I Tweet
I’m making LOL with my BFF
FYI, I’ve got the friends
I’m on the net, I’m really set
Oh BTW, ASAP
and WTH, I’m feelin’ free
Yeah, THX for chatting me
Cuz GTG, that’s got to go
Twitter, Twitter, Tweet, Tweet ...
Twitter, Twitter, Tweet, Tweet ...
###
About the author:
Paul lives in Mackay on the tropical Queensland coast of Australia. He is a journalist and author of The Wizard’s Sword fantasy novel. He founded the Mackay-Pioneer Valley Arts Council Writers Group (Mackay Writers) and lives with his wife, Brigida, daughter Jemimah, four budgerigars and a cat called Snowy.
Discover his fantasy title The Wizard’s Sword at:
Connect with me online:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Wizards-Sword-and-The-Three-Stones-of-Destiny/233451400011128
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/PaulVanderloos
My blogs: https://wizardsword.wordpress.com/
https://editorspen.wordpress.com/
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