Page 34 of Coming Home


  He looked wonderful; unshaven, but wonderful. Very tanned and hard and fit. Having ordered the coffee, he had divested himself of the sodden ski jacket, and beneath it wore corduroys and a navy-blue roll-neck sweater. The corduroys were dark with wet, and when he came to stand near the roaring fire, they steamed gently in the heat.

  She said, ‘You look great.’

  ‘So do you.’

  ‘We didn't know you were coming home.’

  ‘I never sent a telegram or anything. But I was always coming. I wouldn't miss Christmas for all the skiing in the world. And if I'd said when I was coming, then Ma would have been fussing about meeting trains and all that crap. Better to be without deadlines, specially when you're travelling from Europe. You never know if you're going to catch the train, or if the ferry's going to run.’

  Judith understood his point of view, and decided that it was a very good philosophy. But…‘So when did you get here?’ she asked him.

  He reached into his trouser pocket for his cigarettes and lighter, and she had to wait for his answer until he had got the cigarette going. He blew out a cloud of smoke, and smiled at her. ‘I told you. Night train. Got in at seven o'clock this morning.’

  ‘With nobody there to meet you.’

  He looked around for somewhere to sit, and chose an ancient armchair which he shoved and shunted across the carpet in order to be close to the fire. Into this he then collapsed.

  ‘So what did you do?’

  ‘It seemed a bit early to start ringing home and demanding transport and I'm too mean to take a taxi, so I left all my stuff at the station, and walked up to Pops' club and beat on the door until somebody let me in.’

  ‘I didn't think you were a member of your father's club.’

  ‘I'm not, but they know me, and I spun a sob story and got let in. And when I told them I'd been travelling for two days, I was tired and dirty, they let me have the use of a bathroom, and I soaked in hot water for an hour, and then some kind lady cooked me breakfast.’

  She was filled with admiration. ‘Edward, what a nerve you've got.’

  ‘I thought it was rather a bright wheeze. Super breakfast. Bacon and eggs and sausages and scalding, very hot, tea. And bless my soul, just as I was finishing this gargantuan feast — I hadn't eaten for about twelve hours — who should walk in but Pops.’

  ‘Was he as astonished as I was?’

  ‘Just about.’

  ‘You are naughty. He might have had a heart attack.’

  ‘Oh, don't talk rubbish. He was just very pleased to see me. And he sat down and we had more tea together, and he told me he'd brought you into town to do your Christmas shopping, and was meeting you here at twelve-thirty. So I came to look for you and hurry you up.’

  ‘What made you think of Medways?’

  ‘Well, you weren't in any other shop, so I finally ended up there.’ He grinned. ‘Successfully.’

  The very thought of him, in this appalling weather, trudging around Penzance in search of her, touched Judith deeply, and filled her with a warm glow.

  She said, ‘You could have just sat cosily in the club and read a newspaper.’

  ‘I didn't feel like sitting cosily anywhere. I've been sitting in stuffy trains for too long. Tell me how've you been…’

  But before she could tell him, the antique waiter returned with a tray bearing coffee pots, cups and saucers, and two extremely small biscuits on a plate. Edward reached once more into his trouser pocket, produced a fistful of coins, and paid him. ‘Keep the change.’

  ‘Thank you, sir.’

  When he had gone, Judith knelt on the worn hearthrug and poured the coffee. It was black and smelt a bit funny, but was at least hot.

  ‘…what have you been doing with yourself?’ he persisted.

  ‘Nothing much. Just school.’

  ‘God, I'm sorry for you. Never mind, it'll soon be over, and you'll wonder how on earth you endured it. And Nancherrow?’

  ‘Still standing.’

  ‘Stupid girl, I meant what's going on? Who's there?’

  ‘Everybody, I think, now that you've arrived.’

  ‘What about friends and relations?’

  ‘The Pearsons, from London. They came last night.’

  ‘Jane and Alistair? Good, they're good value.’

  ‘And I think their children and Nanny are arriving this evening, by train.’

  ‘Oh, well, I suppose we all have a little cross to bear.’

  ‘And Tommy Mortimer's coming for Christmas, but I'm not quite sure when.’

  ‘Inevitable.’ He put on Tommy Mortimer's mellifluous voice. ‘Diana, my darling girl, a tiny Martini?’

  ‘Oh, come on, he's not as bad as that.’

  ‘I rather like the old codger, as a matter of fact. And has Athena produced no panting swain?’

  ‘Not this time.’

  ‘That at least is a cause for celebration. How's Aunt Lavinia?’

  ‘I haven't seen her yet. I only got back from St Ursula's yesterday. But she's coming for Christmas dinner, I know.’

  ‘Majestic in black velvet, dear old girl.’ He drank some coffee and screwed up his face. ‘God, this is disgusting.’

  ‘Tell me about Arosa.’

  He put down his cup with a derisory clatter, and it was clear that he was going to drink no more. But, ‘Terrific,’ he told her. ‘All the tows working and not too many people. Fantastic snow, and sun all day long. We skied all day and danced most of the night…there's a new bar, Die Drei Husaren, where everybody goes. We were usually swept out at four in the morning.’ He burst into song. ‘“Girls were made to love and kiss, and who am I to disagree with this.” We made the band play that every night.’

  We. Who was we? Judith suppressed an unworthy pang of envy. ‘Who was with you?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh, just friends from Cambridge.’

  ‘It must have been wonderful.’

  ‘You've never skied?’

  She shook her head. ‘No.’

  ‘One day I'll take you.’

  ‘I can't ski.’

  ‘I'll teach you.’

  ‘Athena told me you're learning to fly.’

  ‘I've learned. I've got my pilot's licence.’

  ‘Is it frightening?’

  ‘No, it's bliss. You feel quite inviolable. Superhuman.’

  ‘Is it difficult?’

  ‘Easy as driving a car, and a million times more fascinating.’

  ‘I still think you're dreadfully brave.’

  ‘Oh, of course,’ he teased her, ‘the original intrepid bird-man.’ Suddenly, he pushed back the woollen cuff of his sweater, and squinted at his watch. ‘It's a quarter past twelve. Pops will be here before long to bear us all home. The sun's over the yardarm, so let's have a glass of bubbly.’

  ‘Champagne?’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Shouldn't we wait for your father to come?’

  ‘Why? He hates champagne. You don't hate it, do you?’

  ‘I've never drunk it.’

  ‘Then now is a good time to start.’ And before she could object, he sprang to his feet and went once more to press the bell for the waiter.

  ‘But…in the middle of the day, Edward?’

  ‘Of course. Champagne can be drunk at any hour of the day or night, that's one of its charms. My grandfather used to call it the rich man's Eno's. Besides, what better way is there for you and me to start Christmas?’

  Judith sat at her dressing-table, leaned anxiously towards the mirror, and applied mascara to her eyelashes. It was the first time she had ever used mascara, but Athena's Christmas present to her had been a beautiful casket of Elizabeth Arden cosmetics, and the least she could do to say thank you was to try to deal with the complications of make-up. There was a little brush with the mascara box, which she had wet under the tap and then made a sort of paste. Athena's tip had been to spit on the mascara, she said it made it last longer, but spit seemed a bit disgusting and Judith had reverted to tap-water
instead.

  It was seven o'clock on Christmas evening, and here she was dressing herself up for the climax of Christmas dinner. She had set her hair, with Kirby grips, in a lot of little snaillike curls all over her head, and had cleaned her face with the new cleansing cream, and put on foundation cream, and a dusting of deliriously scented powder. The rouge was beyond her, but the mascara a challenge; luckily, it went on all right, and she managed not to stick the brush in her eye with possibly fatal consequences. Finished at last, she sat back, carefully not blinking, and waited for it to dry. Her reflection stared back, wide-eyed as a doll, but marvellously improved. She could not think why she had not tried mascara before.

  Waiting, she listened. Beyond the closed door, the house was filled with small, distant sounds. A clatter of dishes from the kitchen, and Mrs Nettlebed's voice raised as she called to her husband. Farther away still, the faint strains of a waltz. The Count of Luxembourg. Probably Edward trying out the radiogram, in case his mother decided that they should dance after dinner. And then, much closer to hand, splashings and raised childish voices from the guest bathroom, where Nanny Pearson was endeavouring to get her charges ready for bed. But they were both tired out, over-excited after the long day, and from time to time the childish voices broke into yowls and wails as they whined and grizzled and probably hit each other. Judith allowed herself a pang of sympathy for Nanny Pearson, who had been chasing after them all day. By now she must be longing for them to be unconscious in their beds, so that she could go to the nursery, put up her swollen ankles, and gossip with Mary Millyway.

  The mascara seemed to be dry. Judith unpinned her hair and brushed it out, and coaxed the ends under to a gleaming page-boy. Now, the dress. She slid out of her dressing-gown and went to her bed, where she had laid out the butterfly-blue concoction in readiness for just this moment. She lifted it, weightless as gossamer, over her head, thrust arms into sleeves, felt the thin silk settle over her body. She fastened the tiny button at the back of the neck, and then did up the zip at the waist. It was a bit long, but once she had put on her new high-heeled sandals, that problem was solved. So, nearly there. The gold earrings, which Athena had so kindly lent her, screwed into lobes. The new lipstick, Coral Rose, the new scent, and she was ready.

  She stood, and for the first time surveyed herself in the long mirror set in the centre of the wardrobe. It was all right. In fact, it was marvellous, because she looked really good. Tall, slender, and, most important of all, grown up. Eighteen at least. And the dress was a dream. She turned, and the skirts floated out and around her, just like Ginger Rogers's; just the way they would float if Edward asked her to dance with him. She prayed that he would.

  Time to go. She turned off the lights and went out of her room and along the passage, and the thick carpet felt soft through the thin soles of her sandals. From beyond the bathroom door came steamy smells of Pears soap, and Nanny Pearson's voice, admonishing. ‘What's the sense in being so stupid?’ She thought about looking in to say goodnight, but decided against it, in case Roddy and Camilla started yowling again. Instead, down the back stairs, and so to the drawing-room. The door stood open, and she took a deep breath and went through, and it felt a bit like walking onto the stage in a school play. The huge pale-coloured room danced with firelight, and lamplight, and glittering Christmas baubles. She saw Aunt Lavinia, majestic in black velvet and diamonds, already ensconced in an armchair by the fireside, with the Colonel and Tommy Mortimer and Edward standing grouped about her. They held glasses and were talking, and so did not notice Judith, but Aunt Lavinia spied her immediately and raised her hand in a little gesture of welcome, and the three men turned to see who had interrupted them.

  Conversation ceased. For an instant there was silence. Judith, hesitating at the door, was the one to break it.

  ‘I'm the first down?’

  ‘Dear God, it's Judith!’ The Colonel shook his head in wonderment. ‘My dear, I hardly recognised you.’

  ‘What a perfectly gorgeous apparition!’ That was Tommy Mortimer.

  ‘I don't know why you all sound so surprised,’ Aunt Lavinia scolded them. ‘Of course she looks beautiful…and that colour, Judith! Just like a kingfisher.’

  But Edward didn't say anything. He just laid down his glass and crossed the room to her side, and took Judith's hand in his own. She looked up into his face, and knew that he didn't have to say anything, because his eyes said it all.

  At last he spoke. ‘We're drinking champagne,’ he told her.

  ‘Again?’ she teased him, and he laughed.

  ‘Come and join us.’

  Afterwards, in the years to come, whenever Judith recalled that Christmas dinner at Nancherrow in 1938, it was a bit like looking at an Impressionist painting; all the sharp edges blurred by the softness of candle-light, and the muzziness of a little too much champagne. The fire was lighted; logs flamed and crackled, but looming furniture and panelled walls and dark portraits retreated and merged, to become no more than a shadowed backdrop for the festive table. Silver candelabra marched down the centre of this, with, all about, sprigs of holly, scarlet crackers, dishes of nuts and fruit and Floris chocolates, and the dark mahogany was set with white linen place-mats and napkins, the most elaborate of the family silver, and crystal glasses fine and clear as soap bubbles.

  As for the ten people who sat around the table, Judith was never to forget exactly how they were placed, and how they were dressed. The men, of course, in formal evening wear, dinner jackets, starched, snow-white shirts, and black bowties. The Colonel had decided upon a wing-collar, which made him look as though he had stepped straight from the gilded frame of some Victorian painting. And as for the women, it was as though they had all gone into conference beforehand, like royalty, to be certain that no colours clashed, and no lady would outshine the others.

  The Colonel sat at the head of the table, in his usual huge Carver chair, with Nettlebed hovering behind him, and Aunt Lavinia at his right hand. Judith sat between her and Alistair Pearson; beyond him was Athena, looking like a summer goddess in sleeveless white shark-skin. On the Colonel's other side was Jane Pearson, bright as a parakeet in her favourite red, and with Edward at her left hand. This meant that Edward sat opposite to Judith, and from time to time she looked up and caught his eye, and he would smile as though they shared some splendid secret, and raise his wineglass to her, and sip champagne.

  Alongside him was his younger sister. Loveday at sixteen was still on the cusp of being a teenager and becoming an adult, but for some reason this uncomfortable state did not bother her in the very least. She still lived for her riding, and spent much of her days down at the stables, mucking out and cleaning tack in the company of Walter Mudge. Clothes were as unimportant to her as they had ever been; stained and shrunken jodhpurs were her usual garb, paired with any old sweater she'd found in the nursery airing cupboard. And so, tonight, she wore no jewellery, her dark curls were artless as always, and her vivid face, with those amazing, violet eyes, shone, innocent of make-up. But her dress — her first long dress, chosen by Diana in London and given as one of Loveday's Christmas presents — was sheer enchantment. Organdie, the vivid green of young beech leaves, cut low over Loveday's shoulders and deeply ruffled at neck and hem. Even Loveday had been seduced by it, and dressed herself up without a word of complaint. Which was a great relief to everybody, in particular Mary Millyway, who knew the contrary ways of her erstwhile charge better than any of them.

  Beside Loveday sat Tommy Mortimer, and then, at the far end of the table, Diana, in a slinky satin dress the colour of steel. As she moved, or as the light caught the folds, this shade subtly altered, so that sometimes it seemed blue, and sometimes grey. With it, she wore pearls and diamonds, the only dash of colour her scarlet nails and lipstick.

  Conversation buzzed, voices rising as the wine and the delicious feast went down. First, paper-thin, rosy slices of smoked salmon; then turkey, bacon, sausages, roast potatoes, buttered sprouts and carrots, bread sauce,
cranberry jelly, thick dark gravy rich with wine. By the time the plates were cleared from the table, Judith's dress was beginning to feel uncomfortably neat, but of course there was more to follow. Mrs Nettlebed's Christmas pudding, her brandy butter, mince pies, and dishes of thick Cornish cream. Then nuts to be cracked and sweet little tangerines to be peeled, and crackers to be pulled. The formal dinner degenerated into a children's party, with unbecoming paper hats worn askew, and painful jokes and riddles to be read aloud.

  But finally it was all over and time for the ladies to leave. They rose from the table, now littered with torn paper, chocolate wrappings, ashtrays and broken nutshells, and withdrew, headed for the drawing-room and coffee. Diana led the way. As she went, she paused to stoop and kiss her husband. ‘Ten minutes,’ she told him. ‘That's all the time you're allowed to drink your port. Otherwise the evening will fall to pieces.’

  ‘And how are we going to spend the rest of it?’

  ‘We shall dance the night away, of course. How else?’

  And indeed, by the time the men did join the ladies, Diana had organised everything; the sofas and chairs pushed aside, the rugs rolled back, and the radiogram stacked with her favourite dance records.

  The music was another thing Judith was always to remember; the tunes of that evening, that year. ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes’ and ‘You're the Cream in My Coffee’, and ‘Deep Purple’ and ‘D'Lovely’.

  The moon is out,

  The skies are clear

  And if you want to go walking, dear,

  It's delightful, it's delicious, it's d'lovely…

  She danced that one with Tommy Mortimer, who was so expert that she didn't even have to think about what her feet were meant to be doing. And then it was Alistair Pearson's turn, and that was quite different, because all he did was to march her briskly around the room, rather as though she were a vacuum cleaner. After that there was a waltz, for Aunt Lavinia's benefit, and she and the Colonel were quite the best and showed them all up, because they were the only pair who knew how to reverse properly, and Aunt Lavinia lifted the heavy velvet skirts of her dress with one hand, revealing diamond-buckled shoes, her feet twinkling and turning with all the lightness and vitality of the young girl that she had once been.