“Six months. At least.” His voice revealed that he could hardly believe it himself. His eyes darted to my side. “What is that?” He gestured at the bag of brownies I had forgotten all about. I was gripping it as if my life depended on it.
“Oh, um, do you want some brownies? They still need to thaw.” I had never felt like a bigger idiot in my life.
He laughed. “It’s good to know that some things never change.” He winced slightly and I bolted up.
“Are you okay? Do you need something?” I was so worried that he was going to break on my watch.
“No.” He looked down at his leg. “Well, I do need a lot. You wouldn’t happen to have a spare ACL lying around, by any chance?”
I was relieved he was making a joke. Not that I found any of this funny, but it was nice he wasn’t so far gone that his sense of humor had disappeared.
We both sat in silence for a few minutes. I really didn’t know what to say to him. To be honest, I’d been waiting for him to apologize to me for months. And I almost told him right then and there that all he needed to do was say he was sorry and mean it. But I knew it wasn’t the right time.
I saw it was getting late, and more as an excuse to break the silence, I got up. “I figure you need some —”
He grabbed my arm. “I’m sorry, Macallan.”
In my head, I’d planned to list all the reasons he should be sorry and remind him of all the times I had been there for him. Of how hurtful his actions and words had been. Of how much pain he’d caused me. But I didn’t need to say any of that.
Because he already knew.
Instead, I said what we both needed to hear.
“It’s okay.” I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead.
“It’s not,” he said. “What I did —”
I stopped him. “I know, and you’ve apologized. And I’m sorry, too. What I think we both need is to get back to where we used to be.”
“That’s all I want.” He smiled at me. That familiar smile I hadn’t seen on his face in months. “You know I don’t deserve you.”
“Oh, I do know.” I winked at him, then turned and walked downstairs. I had a feeling that things were going to be okay between us.
We had both made mistakes and been admittedly stubborn, but we needed to move on with, not away from, each other.
“Hey!” Dad lit up when he saw me. “You’re smiling. I take it everything’s okay up there.”
I knew, given the circumstances, my joy should’ve been more contained, but I couldn’t help it.
Levi was in my life again.
The weeks leading up to Christmas were busier than usual.
On top of studying for exams, Christmas shopping, and booking extra babysitting gigs to pay for said shopping, I also had to be Levi’s caretaker at school. I was given keys to his car so I could help his mom transport him to and from school. I also helped him with his bags, which really annoyed him more than the crutches he had to use until his surgery, which was scheduled for two days after New Year’s.
Keith, Tim, and the other guys on the team were helpful for the first few days, but either their guilt had subsided or the luster of helping out their fellow man lessened, because they pretty much became MIA. Sure, they’d cheer “California” when they saw Levi hobbling in the hallway, but that was the extent of their help.
Of course Stacey and the cheerleaders (even Emily) were more than willing to help. Nothing like playing Florence Nightingale to drum up romantic delusions.
Unfortunately, Levi was not an appreciative patient. He hated asking the guys for help and didn’t want to be pitied by any of the girls. He especially despised having his mom come into school with him, because it made him feel like he was in first grade again.
That left me. I was sure he wasn’t thrilled he had to rely on me so much, but I never put up with his crap. So we got on nicely.
“I can do it myself,” he said one day before lunch as I was opening his locker.
“Suit yourself.” I backed away and watched him balance on one leg and maneuver his crutches so he could open his locker. Once he got the lock open, he had to hop back to make room for the door to swing open. One of the crutches fell as he tried to grab his lunch bag.
Luckily, I was anticipating this and grabbed it before it hit the floor.
“You know, I can make your lunch and bring it with me — it’s not a big deal,” I offered.
“I can do this,” he mumbled.
I teased him. “Oh, poor you, I’m offering to make you lunch. You love my food.”
Danielle approached us. “Wait, are you offering to cook? What does a girl need to do to get some of your chicken salad?”
“Injure yourself,” Levi snapped.
I shook my head at Danielle. “He’s having one of those days.”
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” Levi groaned.
“Come on.” I grabbed his lunch, and the three of us walked to the cafeteria. “If you’re going to be like this all day, we can have you sit somewhere else.”
“Sorry,” he said quietly. “I don’t meant to be —”
I graciously finished the sentence for him. “Stubborn. Ungrateful. Gloomy. A pain in the rear.”
“Yes.” A smile began to warm his face. “All of that and more.”
I set his lunch down, took his crutches from him, and leaned them against the wall. “At least you acknowledge that. And, of course, how awesome I am.”
“Of course.” He smiled as he opened his lunch bag. “How could I ever forget?”
“I honestly don’t know.” I rested my chin on my hand. “How did you?”
Danielle groaned. “It’s amazing how quickly you two snap back into place. It’s almost sickening, really.”
“Levi just needs a constant reminder of how much he needs me.” I knew this always got under Levi’s skin, even though it was kind of the truth. I only teased him about it because he seemed to prefer it when I made fun of him.
Typical boy.
“So what’s the plan for break?” Danielle asked. We only had a few days left before Christmas.
“I’m thinking some sloth combined with gluttony.” I was so tired from studying and carting around Levi. I was looking forward to ten days of doing nothing but watching TV, reading, and stuffing my face. I’d asked Dad for some new cookbooks and was going to try making sushi from scratch. (Starting with California rolls — there was no need to spend the holidays with food poisoning.)
“Ah, sloth and gluttony.” Danielle smiled. “Two of the greatest words in the English language.”
I turned toward Levi. “You invited Stacey to New Year’s, right?” Since Levi wasn’t in the mood to go to any party, I volunteered to cook a big meal that night. Danielle was coming, but leaving early to go to a band party.
He nodded. “Yeah, although I don’t want her to not have a good time because of me.”
“Hey!” I slapped my hand against the table. “Speak for yourself, but I’m a very fun time.”
“Yeah,” Danielle agreed, “read the stalls in the guy’s bathroom.”
“Ha, ha.” I shot her a dirty look.
I didn’t really understand Levi’s relationship with Stacey. I’d thought they were breaking up, but they were still together. And I didn’t fault him for that. She was one of those gorgeous, bubbly girls who’s always smiling and giving out compliments. It seemed like a nice, easy relationship for Levi. Not a lot of complications. And I’m an expert on Levi and complications. So I honestly had no idea why he didn’t want to spend more time with her, even though he was claiming it was for her sake. It seemed like he was always making excuses to not hang out with her. And why on earth would he not want her to be around on New Year’s Eve? His track record of girlfriends being faithful on that day was not great. But he didn’t need me to remind him of it.
Plus, I had learned my lesson. I knew better than to stick my nose in Levi’s relationships. If he wanted to talk to me about it, fine.
But I wasn’t getting involved.
Things never worked out when I did.
Given the craziness that preceded it, Christmas was fairly uneventful. Which I was more than happy with.
Since both Stacey and Danielle were leaving New Year’s Eve supper early to go to other parties, it seemed Levi and I would be ringing in the New Year in a very quiet, very unexciting way.
Stacey was wearing a festive minidress and black leggings with silver sparkles. Her hair was pulled back in a silver headband. Levi had on jeans and a sweatshirt. Even Danielle, who was going to hang out with a few other friends after hanging out with us, was wearing a skirt. I did make some effort and wore nice dark jeans and a black wrap sweater with purple sequins.
“Hey, Adam!” Levi greeted my uncle, who was sitting on the couch. “I didn’t realize we were going to have a chaperone. Better cancel the keg!”
Adam laughed. “Yeah, right.”
“I’m surprised you aren’t breaking hearts tonight, Adam!” Levi teased.
Adam blushed. The ladies certainly loved him; he was a charmer.
“He’s staying for supper, then heading off,” I said. It seemed that everybody had somewhere else to be. Even Dad was over at Levi’s house for their party. I was invited to a couple places but turned them down. Levi wasn’t interested in going far in his condition, although he didn’t want to stay at home and have all his parents’ friends fuss over him. His surgery was in a couple days, so he was understandably in a solemn mood.
The five of us settled down at the dining room table. I didn’t want to go too fancy tonight because I wasn’t sure what kind of food Stacey liked and Levi was no help. I did a basic chicken Caesar salad, ricotta gnocchi with creamy pesto sauce, bruschetta, and baked Alaska for dessert.
“Oh, wow!” Stacey exclaimed with a full mouth. “This is SO good.”
All right, maybe I’d wanted to impress her just a little.
“So,” Danielle said to me as she rubbed her tummy, “I think I have to end our friendship if I want to fit into my dress for the winter dance.”
“It’s six weeks away,” I reminded her.
“Oh, I’m only taking a break.” She eyed the remaining piece of baked Alaska in the center of the table. “I plan on stuffing my face more. I can start worrying about the dance next year.” She glanced at her watch. “I’ve got less than four hours.”
“Do you know who you’re going with?” Stacey asked Danielle.
Danielle raised her eyebrows. “There’s a certain drummer that I have my eye on.”
“Uh-oh,” I teased. “You know what they say about drummers?”
“That they have excellent rhythm,” Danielle deadpanned.
“No.” Levi looked at me. “That’s not it. Could you remind me, Macallan?”
“Oi, they’re so chuffed because they can bang a drum …” I started.
Levi graciously continued. “I been bangin’ on me table since I was a wee one. Where’s me groupies?”
“Dodgy, drummers are.”
Levi then delivered the punch line. “Blimey if I haven’t been bangin’ me head listenin’ to you lot.”
Danielle looked at the two of us. “Does anybody ever have any clue what you two go on and on about?”
“I do,” Levi and I said in unison.
Danielle looked at Stacey. “We should get out of here before I start banging my head.”
Not surprisingly, Danielle and Stacey left for their respective parties instead of hanging out with me and Levi. Adam stayed a while to help me with the dishes since Levi needed to rest his leg. Adam also helped me get Levi down to the basement so he could lie on the sectional’s chaise lounge.
“You need anything else?” Adam asked.
“I think we’re good.” I gave him a big hug. He high-fived Levi and then left us alone.
“Now, is there anything else I could get you?” I bowed down as if he was my master.
“It’s about time I get some respect from you.” He then gestured for me to twirl around.
“In your dreams.”
“Hey, it couldn’t hurt to ask.”
“I wouldn’t press your luck on that.” I lifted up a pillow and pretended to hit him.
“You wouldn’t hurt a man who’s in such a delicate condition, would you?” He stuck out his lip in a pout.
“You don’t know me very well.”
His eyes lit up. “Actually, I do. Could you hand me my bag?”
I obliged.
Levi dug around the duffel. “I have a surprise for you.” He then presented a DVD of the Buggy and Floyd Christmas Special.
“Where did you get this?” I knew it had aired in the UK a couple weeks ago, but I had no idea when it was coming stateside.
“I have connections.”
I tore open the case and put the disc in. “Did you watch it?”
“No way. Not without you.”
I didn’t know if I would’ve had the same willpower.
I curled up on the couch next to Levi. We both began singing the Buggy and Floyd theme song at the top of our lungs.
“Gah! I’m so excited!” I reached out to playfully punch Levi but stopped myself, not wanting to actually hit a man while he was down.
The special was an hour long, so we got double the Buggy. It was a surprisingly poignant episode. Generally, Floyd was getting Buggy out of whatever wild fiasco he’d gotten himself into. But within the first five minutes, Floyd left Buggy. “I can’t take your tomfoolery!” he exclaimed.
“Who’s Tom and who’s he foolin’?” Buggy replied, to the laughter of the studio audience.
“You’re a grown man, Theodore.” Floyd used Buggy’s proper name for the first time I could remember. “It’s time you act like it.” And he walked out.
“Wow,” I exclaimed. “I can’t believe Floyd did that.” I knew they were fictional characters, but this was so unlike them. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep watching. I liked my memories of them as the funny, quarreling duo.
“I know,” Levi said in a quiet voice. “I mean, it’s a miracle Floyd didn’t do it sooner. He can be so crotchety.”
I paused the DVD. “Did you just use the word crotchety?”
“Ah, yeah.” He looked at me incredulously. “All Floyd does is complain about Buggy and pretty much all of society. He’s always making little comments about how he doesn’t understand the way certain things are. Sure, it’s funny, but the fact he’s had enough of it isn’t that surprising.”
“You have to admit that Floyd has a point most of the time.”
Levi started laughing. “Oh my God. Yes! How am I only seeing this now?”
“Seeing what?”
He pointed at me. “You’re Floyd!”
“I’m what?” My mouth was open. I couldn’t believe Levi was comparing me to some crotchety old British man.
“You’re always making these observations like ‘Why does Keith think he’s superior just because he can tackle a guy?’ ”
“That’s a valid observation,” I defended.
“And ‘Why do people say L-O-L — aren’t they supposed to be laughing? Have we become that lazy of a society?’ ”
“Like that doesn’t drive you crazy.”
Levi was really laughing now. “It all makes sense why you like this show so much.”
“So does this make you Buggy?” I shot back.
“Well, he is hilarious.”
“He’s also a complete bumbling fool, so I guess …” I sank back in the seat.
“Okay, okay.” Levi grabbed the remote from me. “We’ll put the show back on. Don’t want to get your old-man undies in a bunch.”
This time I did hit him.
“Ouch.” He rubbed his shoulder.
“Blimey if I could help it.” I gave him a goofy grin before turning back to the TV.
We watched as Buggy and Floyd struggled without each other. It hit close to home in a way. Buggy was caught in the rain while a depressing song played as he roa
med around aimlessly. I started to feel tears sting the back of my eyes. I couldn’t believe an episode of Buggy and Floyd was going to make me cry.
Floyd rounded the corner with a large gold umbrella. He paused as he saw his former best friend. He walked slowly toward him.
Levi grabbed my hand.
Floyd covered Buggy with his umbrella.
“It’s London,” Floyd said. “You know you need a brolly year-round.”
Buggy smiled shyly at him. “You’re right. Blimey if —” He stopped himself.
Was this the end of Buggy’s punch line? Levi and I exchanged a look.
Buggy continued. “No, what I want right now is a brolly to shield me from the rain. But what I need is me best friend.”
Floyd put his arm around Buggy. “Blimey if I could’ve said it better me self.”
They headed back to their flat to open Christmas presents. There were a few more comical moments, but the entire episode left me reflective, pondering the difference between what you want and what you need.
Levi and I sat in silence for a few minutes while the credits played.
“Well.” Levi finally spoke. “That was unexpected. It was sort of deep.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “It was good, though.”
“It was …” Levi stared off into the distance.
I turned on the TV to watch the countdown to the New Year. We made small talk about the various singers and actors on TV.
Then it came to the countdown. Levi and I held out glasses of sparkling cider and clinked as confetti rained down in New York City.
“Happy New Year!” I leaned over and gave him a hug.
“Happy New Year!” His smile quickly vanished. “Hey, Macallan?”
Something about the tone of his voice set me on edge. “Yeah?”
“Do you want — I mean, do you need me to take you to the winter dance?”
That wasn’t what I was expecting. Although I really didn’t know what I should’ve expected.
“You know how I feel about high school dances.”
He smiled. “I certainly do, Floyd.”
I glared at him. “I don’t need to go.”
“Okay, but do you want to go?”
I nodded. “Sure, but I’m not going to go for the sake of going. If I find someone I want to go with, I’ll go. If I don’t, the sun will still rise the next day.”