**
It was almost time for Lewis to pick him up. Hugo gulped down the last of his cooling coffee, then pulled his coat tighter around him. It was cold up on the roof of his building, but the rushing wind made it the best place to be. He hadn’t been able to get back to sleep after the nightmare, so he’d made some coffee and gone up to the roof to read one of the books Dr. McFadden had recommended. He’d almost called his brother several times to say he was sick, but he knew his brother would accept nothing less than proof of projectile vomiting to get out of family dinner, so he’d done his best to distract himself until it was too late and Lewis was calling him to come down to the car.
“Jesus Christ, Hugo, you look like shit, what is wrong with you?” Was the greeting he got when he slid into his brother’s car.
Hugo slid further down into the seat, staring out the window at his receding apartment building. “I don’t feel very well,” he said quietly.
“You’re sick? Ugh, don’t breathe on me.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Are you going to be up for dinner with Dad tomorrow? You know we can cancel if you want.” Any excuse to avoid dinner with their father. Lewis had always taken the divorce more personally than he had, but Lewis had been 18 at the time, and Hugo had only been 9.
“No. I want to go.”
Lewis sighed, “Alright. But if you barf all over my car, you’re going to have to clean it up.”
His mom looked horrified when he walked in the door. “Sweetie, are you sick? You look terrible. Come here.” She placed the back of her hand against his forehead, “Well you don’t have a fever. Why didn’t you stay home?”
He almost broke down right then. He could feel the sting in his eyes, but he swallowed, pushing it down. He didn’t deserve this. “I’m ok Mom,” his voice, regrettably, sounded shaky.
“No you’re not. Sit down sweetie. I’ll make you some tea. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Can you eat?”
“Yeah Mom, I’ll be fine,” he mumbled.
His mother pat his arm, “Alright, just sit right there.” She left him in a chair in the living room, but he could still clearly hear her, “Lewis! What were you thinking bringing him here? He’ sick, he should have stayed home.”
Hugo could almost hear his brother’s shrug, “He wasn’t puking, so I don’t see what the problem is.”
“Lewis! You should know better!” His mom’s tone was incredulous.
Hugo suddenly wondered what CJ was doing. He’d very awkwardly asked if she’d wanted to join him, but the company was having a dinner that she decided would be less weird. He really could have used her as a distraction.
His mother came back out with a tray of tea paraphernalia, touched the top of his head, and then went back into the kitchen. Hugo’s heart squeezed. Would she be so kind to him if she knew what he’d done, what he’d become? Would she be terrified of him? Hugo put his head in his hands. Could there possibly be a way to undo everything? Go back in time and fix his mistakes? He could feel his eyes stinging and he swallowed down the tears, taking deep breaths.
“Wow, you do look awful. Should I take you home?” Lewis asked as he entered the living room, wiping his hands with a towel.
Hugo jerked up, “N-no I’m fine,” his voice broke.
His older brother raised his eyebrows at him, but then shrugged, “Ok, dinner’s ready. Come on.”
As they sat at the table, conversation swirled around him. He tried to focus on it, but it just sounded like noise as unintelligible as the clink of silverware. That is, until his step-father said his name.
Hugo’s head jerked up, “Huh?”
“I said how is your new job going, Hugo?” Roger repeated before spooning some cranberry sauce into his mouth.
Hugo stared at his plate, rearranging the small portions. His mom was an excellent cook, but everything tasted like cardboard. “It’s alright. It keeps me busy.”
“What do you do there?”
“Uh. I’m kind of the Vice President of Human Resource’s assistant. I maintain the personnel files and uh, other stuff.” He flattened the mashed potatoes.
“Oh, that sounds exciting, Honey,” his mother beamed.
“Gideon Enterprises does a lot of good work for the community. It’s great you got a job there,” Roger nodded approvingly. Hugo ducked his head, blushing. The hiring process wasn’t exactly as rigorous as they were thinking it was. They’d accept just about anyone.