He'd become infallible at keeping his revulsion hidden from everyone but even still, he slipped his hand away from Merle's as soon as he could. "You're looking well," Atticus said and stepped aside to let him enter.
"As are you," Merle said. He dropped his hat on the table in the center of the room and settled into a chair. "How have you been?"
"I'm fine and you?"
"Jane and I have officially decided to call it quits. She was a good woman but it's time to get serious about having an heir. We won't live forever you know," he quipped and winked as he propped his feet up on the table.
"Does Anna know about this?" Atticus asked. He walked over to reclaim his goblet before settling in across from Merle.
"I'm not sure if Jane has told her or not. She plans to return to Italy to stay in the family home that had belonged to her mother so that she can be closer to Anna and her father."
"Do you have another woman in mind already?"
"I don't but now that I'm free of a wife, I'm also free to start looking. There are some tempting bits out there you know."
"I do," Atticus said with a laugh that he didn't feel. He was still so good at playing along. The only bits he found attractive now were the ones he could kill afterward. There were times when he thought he should be mad about the fact that his normal yearnings had died with Genny, but in the end, it was the smallest part of himself that he'd lost when he'd lost her.
The smile slid from Merle's face, he folded his hands on top of his stomach. "I've heard that Anna's had more than her fair share of miscarriages again since your last son."
"She has," Atticus confirmed.
"Have you thought of finding another wife?"
Atticus released a harsh bark of laughter as he drank his blood. "No. I'm quite content with Anna and the children she has managed to produce."
"Has it changed then?" Merle inquired with a strange gleam in his eyes.
"Has what changed?" Atticus inquired.
"Your feelings for Genny, have they finally gone, have you moved on then?"
The sound of her name caused him to recoil as if he'd been slapped. It had been years since anyone had said her name out loud. His upper lip curled into an involuntary sneer at the insinuation of Merle's words. "Have they gone!" he spat. He stood abruptly and ran a hand through his hair as he paced away from the table. "Get out!"
"Wait Atticus, I meant no harm from it. I know what she meant to you…"
He moved so fast that he didn't even comprehend what he was doing. His hand wrapped around Merle's throat and he smashed him into the wall. "What she means!" He bit out as he shoved his face into Merle's. "What she will always mean!"
Merle's eyes were frantic as he searched his face. "I understand," he assured him.
Disgusted and surprised with himself for having lost control, he lowered Merle and straightened his doublet. Self-disgust filled him but his cousin was the only one that could rattle him into losing his composure. He would have to take more care from now on, to be more prepared for Merle's presence and the memories it brought back so vividly. They were much better off apart, or at least he was better off when they were.
"I don't know what came over me," he murmured by way of an apology as he walked away from his cousin.
Merle's hand went to his throat as he stepped away from the wall. "I think I do."
Atticus turned toward him so fast that blood sloshed over the sides of the goblet he had just lifted. "What do you mean you think you do?" he demanded.
Merle settled himself into his seat again and rested his hands on the table before him. "Have you ever heard of something called a bloodlink?"
Atticus frowned as he shook his head. "No, what is that?"
"I think it is what Genny was to you, what she will always be."
Atticus approached the table as cautiously as a man approaching a pride of lions. Merle might actually have an answer for what was wrong with him, an answer for what he had become. It was almost too much to hope for but he found himself riveted upon Merle's words. "Go on," he encouraged.
"I was talking with Khalfan the other day." It took Atticus a minute to recall who Khalfan was, and then his memory kicked in. He was the oldest known vampire in existence, and one of a handful of vampires known as the history keepers that was still alive. Atticus had met him a few times over the years, but the darkly colored man with piercing black eyes, and tribal tattoos covering his arms and the right side of his face had made him feel uneasy and exposed. The man never said anything to him, but Atticus had a feeling that Khalfan saw the madness lurking within him and he stayed away from Khalfan because of it.
"And what did Khalfan have to say?" Atticus inquired casually though he felt like a bundle of raw nerves inside. Merle knew he wasn't the same, that he never would be, but Atticus was certain he didn't realize the depth of his lunacy or his ultimate goal. Had Khalfan told Merle just how malevolent he really was now? He didn't want to have to kill his cousin, not unless Merle got in his way, but he wouldn't hesitate to put Merle down if he could expose him in some way.
"He told me about something called a bloodlink, a bond that exists solely between vampires. He said it's an extremely rare connection. That most vampires believe it to be nothing more than a myth created by vampire poets dreaming of love or vampires hoping to one day discover more power. He told me that he actually saw it once though, years ago between two vampires. He said the bond was so intense between them that they both became more powerful because of it. When one died the other promptly followed, by their own hand. He said it's rumored that if one dies, and the other is left behind, they go mad from the separation."
Everything within his body went completely still at what Merle had just revealed. The power that Genny's blood had given to him, the bond that he'd felt connecting them. It was still there, he could feel it even now encircling his deadened heart. The whisper of her touch, not felt in three hundred years, was still as strong as if he had felt it only yesterday. Her laughter, forever silenced, still rang as clearly in his ears as the church bells that had sounded this morning.
That connection, how he missed it. He'd never found anything that had come anywhere close to bringing him the happiness, love, or sense of fulfillment that just one minute with her had given to him. Mad wasn't near good enough a word to describe what he'd become.
"I see," his gaze drifted to the balcony and the night beyond. "And it is only between vampires?"
"Yes, the bond is sealed with sex and an exchange of blood between the vampires. It is a soul deep connection that allows them to know where the other is at all times. It would be impossible for a vampire to have that with a human." Atticus could feel Merle's gaze burning into him. He turned his eyes away from the balcony and back to his cousin. "It was the exchange of blood between vampires and the bond he spoke of that made me begin to believe that it was true. It reminded me of you, and… Genny." He hesitated before saying her name this time, as if he feared that Atticus would come at him again.
He flinched inwardly, but he managed to keep his exterior completely impassive while inside he was a seething mass of turmoil and heartache. "I considered it, you know," Atticus told him. "I considered following her that night. Considered walking into the fires spreading through the village, but then I discovered Camille and I knew I had to get her to safety." He'd become so adept at lying that it rolled easily off of his tongue now.
"And you did get her to safety."
"So I did and as you can see, I'm still alive and I'm not crazy. Perhaps this bloodlink does exist but it seems it has been exaggerated, as have most things throughout the years. Or maybe it is not what Genny and I shared." More lies woven over top of lies but as Merle continued to stare at him Atticus willed him to buy this lie. Merle finally dropped his gaze to the table.
"It's an interesting concept though," Merle murmured. "One that I think has effected you."
"Perhaps it has, but who is to know for certain." He almost reiterated that he was san
e but he bit his tongue, there was such a thing as protesting too much. It would be safer to steer this conversation to a different topic. "How long will you be staying?"
Merle leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. "I don't think being so close to the woman that I am separating from is a good idea right now, even if it is under amicable terms," he said with a laugh.
"No I suppose not," Atticus agreed. "Where will you go now?"
"I think I shall return to Spain for a bit. I enjoy the weather there."
"Not England?" he inquired in a teasing tone that he didn't feel.
Merle snorted and finished off his wine. "Never again if I can help it."
"I must agree," Atticus said and clinked his goblet against Merle's.
Though I played it off Genny, I do believe that what he spoke of is true. That this mystical bloodlink is in fact what bonded the two of us together. We should have left for the new world sooner. If I had only known what was unfolding between us, if I'd only done more. We'd have been so happy together, our lives so different, our children so loved. Instead, you are gone and I have become a monstrosity.
***
January 31st, 1550
My dearest Genny,
Anna suffered another miscarriage today. I've grown tired of the charade. There is no reason for me to continue to touch the woman when it has become apparent that she is just as unable to provide children as her sister is. I've lost count of the children we've lost over the past years, perhaps she knows.
Unfortunately, though I would give anything to stop crawling into her bed, the pretense must be kept up. I need her family for my future plans. I need her for my future plans and there is no way to break free of her. Not now anyway, one day though, one day it will all be over.
- CHAPTER 28 -
May, 1st, 1727,
My dearest Genny,
Yet again instead of standing up for ourselves, The Council has decided that the best course of action is for us to flee the continent during this time of bitter turmoil. Stray vampires, who have since been caught and punished for their perfidy, started a panic that has spread beyond the normal borders of the town, or even the country, where the main problem originated.
It started in seventeen twenty-one in East Prussia and though we thought that problem had been stamped out these foolish and pathetic humans worked themselves into a frenzy. Rumors spread like wild fire, villages have been burned, and most of them were not even vampire villages. Though they did succeed in taking three of our locations out.
What we thought was contained has now spread to the Habsburg Monarchy and invaded the land there. This time they succeeded in killing off at least fifty vampires and sending The Council and vampires throughout the continent into a tumult the likes of which I've never seen before. This is almost my opportunity. There are enough vampires that are incensed by the way we have been treated that they might make an attempt at a stand, but though I'm chomping at the bit to crush the throat of mankind, even I must admit that the time is still not right.
We are too scattered right now. Vampires are fleeing from all across the continent and the English Isles. They are running from Asia, India, Africa and Australia even though the human panic has not spread as far as those distant lands. They are not willing to take the chance that the panic won't spread through there and are abandoning their homes.
Thousands of vampires are boarding ships and heading to the new world, a place that will hopefully offer us some protection from the complete idiocy of the human race.
My ship leaves tomorrow; we will set sail in the morning. I'm curious to see what this new world will bring to our kind.
To see what it would have offered to us.
***
August, 30th, 1727,
My dearest Genny,
We arrived in a place called Boston today. Though we were not the first vampires to step forth on the land, we are amongst the first settlers of our kind. This land reminds me of many other places I've been, mostly in England, but they say the land beyond is still unsettled and savage. We will be pushing inward to discover these wild lands tomorrow.
***
November 15th, 1727,
My dearest Genny,
This is a land we could have settled in, lost ourselves within, and built a magnificent life here. It would have been challenging, it is already far colder in these mountains than anything I am used to, but we have established a settlement that should see us through the winter. You would have loved it amongst these mountains. You could have run around barely dressed wherever you chose with no one to stumble across you.
The indigenous people in this land welcomed us on the first day but we've seen little of them since. I don't know how but I think they understood what the other humans don't; we are not to be trifled with. The people that were here before us are strange humans with darker skin, but not quite as dark as Khalfan's. They move amongst the wilderness with a grace and ease that almost reminds me of a vampire. They were born to this savage land and they thrive amongst it, as will we.
They're also a good food supply. No matter how well adept they are at using their bows, arrows, and spears I am still able to hunt them. There are also plenty of wild animals here, more than I ever could have imagined. Yes we would have made a fine home and fresh start here, no one ever would have found us amongst the trees and mountains of this foreign land.
It is also a much better place to make a stand against the humans than Europe would have been. This is where it was all supposed to have started for us, and it will be where it will all end for them.
***
December 15th, 1787,
My dearest Genny,
It appears that the humans have decided to name this land where we have settled Pennsylvania. I was informed of this today by a young man named Gideon. Though I suppose by humans standards he is no longer young. He has become friendly with Braith and I see them together often talking over wine and sneaking off to be with women. I do not trust Gideon, there is something about him I don't like, but then I don't like anyone anymore.
No matter what I have done, or continue to do to show them the truth, I still see this belief that the world is good and full of promise in both Braith and Jericho. Most fear Caleb and Natasha, I watch them with an air of amusement as the servants scurry out of their way and even vampires step hurriedly aside when they walk by. I watch the way they torment others and see the twisted version of me within them when I stare into their eyes. It's as if the worst parts of me somehow passed into those two. I am well aware of the fact that Caleb has tortured and slaughtered more than a few of the indigenous inhabitants of this land, but he is careful about disposal and who am I to take the pleasure from him? I find my own release that way too.
Sometimes I think that the good in Braith and Jericho came from their mother. She may be as boring as dirt with the personality of a board, but she is a kind woman and people and vampires respond well to her. I try to tell myself that their good is from her but I know the truth. I see the me that I used to be, all those hundreds of years ago in them, especially in Jericho.
He has that carefree air I'd once possessed. That easy grin and who gives a care attitude that drove me to the clubs and to party all those nights away with Merle. It's funny how clearly I can remember those long ago days with Merle, and you. Yet the many that have passed since then are nothing but a blur. I wouldn't be able to differentiate one day from another if it wasn't for these daily writings to you.
Yes, Jericho was the me I was as a youth, teen, and man. I've tried to change it in him, but I see the way that grin makes the girls smile, and his complete indifference towards anything political. Braith is different, he is kind, I see it in the way he treats people. The women also like him but where Jericho makes them laugh and melts them with his whispered words, Braith has only to sit there and they go to him. I am no fool, the power radiates from him. Caleb is the one that will help me destroy the world, but Braith is the one that inhe
rited the full power of my bloodline.
Braith is caring but he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, and as he has gotten older, he has become more distant and less carefree. Perhaps, it is the weight of my world he carries upon his shoulders that has made him more reserved over the years. I am the one trying to make him the leader that he has to become one day. Though sometimes I feel like I am failing.
I've looked for Camille since arriving in this land but I've yet to see her. I don't know what I would do if I did stumble upon her one day. I don't think I could handle it. I can only hope she escaped the persecution of the continent but I feel as if I will never know the answer to that. I chose to believe she is as alive and happy as Merle claimed her to be when he last saw her.
Merle left again yesterday. The Council has sent him out to explore this vast land and see what it has to offer; though I think most vampires are content to stay in this area. It is safe amongst these mountains; there is enough food for us all, but not enough humans that they are a threat to us. There are other vampire colonies throughout this vast land, but I do believe this is where The Council will keep its base of power.
***
July 12, 1861
My dearest Genny,
With the way these humans carry on they won't have to worry about us hiding amongst them, living off of them, and destroying them. They've started a war amongst themselves and seem hell bent on destroying each other. I cannot understand how they believe that the color of a man's skin somehow makes them inferior, but that is what they are fighting over now. One day they will learn that they are all inferior. That there is a master race out there that doesn't care about color or sexual preference, all we care about is what runs through their veins.
Though I must admit that the idea of keeping them in chains is enticing, and something to be considered for the future.
The best thing about the war is that Anna's father was killed when a stray bullet took his horse out from underneath him. He was pinned beneath the horse for three days before anyone discovered him; both his legs and neck had been snapped during the accident. If it had only been one leg and his neck, he may have been able to survive it, or if he had been found sooner maybe he could have been saved. I wouldn't have gone out of my way to do it though. As it was, he bled out from the bones piercing his skin, before his body could heal the multiple injuries he had sustained.