“If you want to put your hands on her, Teri,” I finally. “Do it. We can see what happens.”
Teri shook her head. “I know this isn't going to work. I know it in my heart.”
Shena wept. “Can’t you try to help me? Do you hate me so much that you won't try?”
Teri lowered her head. “No one here hates you, Shena.”
Shena closed her eyes and trembled. “That's a lie. You all hate what's ugly. It’s human nature.”
Teri looked up. “OK. I'll try to help you. But I can't promise anything.”
Shena knelt on the floor before Teri. She grasped Teri's hands, her own shaking with hope. It was pitiful to watch. If Shena did not get her miracle, I worried about the fallout. Across the lake, out of the corner of my eye, I could see the old man by the water.
I thought of all the pain that lay buried all around us.
Teri put her hands on Shena's face and spread her fingers over the scarred area. Both closed their eves and strove for calm, but Gale and I couldn't take our eyes off them. The whole time I kept thinking that what we were doing was wrong. We needed to sit quietly, take stock of the situation. But already Sal was flexing his muscles and Jimmy was collecting gold. I felt as if I were on an asteroid spinning out of control through deep space.
Teri sat with her hands over the left side of Shena's face for five minutes, and the seconds moved more slowly than those on a broken clock. Both sat still, yet both seemed to be straining. Finally a noise from the side of the lake distracted Teri, and she opened her eyes and glanced over. Jimmy was returning with Sal, who was now carrying the ravaged leather bag that contained the gold dust. Even from a distance we could see their idiotic grins. Jimmy waved; he sure had a bounce in his step.
Teri took her hands off Shena.
Opening her eyes, Shena grabbed her friend’s hands back.
“Don’t stop!” Shena pleaded.
Teri was anxious. “Nothing's happening.”
Shena's eyes were huge. A tear rolled down the side of her face. The scarred side. It was almost as if it were a drop of acid; her flesh twitched. There were no good vibes in the air. The situation could not have been more tense.
“You have to try harder,” Shena said, almost choking on the words.
Teri fidgeted and glanced at me. “I'm sorry, the juice is not there.”
Shena pounded Teri's lap. “Make it be there! Don't quit! Please don't quit!”
Gale stood and stepped to Shena. She put an arm around her.
“Let's not push this,” Gale said softly. “Maybe Teri can try later, when you're both more relaxed.”
Shena shook her off and jumped up. She went to scream something at all of us, but then the life seemed to go out of her and she sank down into a chair and lowered her head and wept quietly. Gale knelt and stroked her right arm. Teri clearly felt in a difficult spot.
“I'm sorry,” she said again.
“It isn't your fault,” I said.
“No heat came into my hands. I couldn't make it come.”
“No one is blaming you,” I said.
Jimmy and Sal arrived a minute later. They were both burning with enthusiasm, so happy they didn't even notice that Shena was in a bad state. Sal dropped the bag of gold dust on the wooden table on the center of the porch. Eagerly Jimmy tugged at the stiff leather string that held the bag shut. In seconds a huge pile of gold dust stood on the table. It did not sparkle in the afternoon sun, but none of us doubted that it was the real thing.
“Who's the man?” Jimmy asked, obviously assuming I had told the girls how we had located it. “Who's the man?”
Sal slapped him on the hack. “You're the man!”
Jimmy gave him a high-five. “I'm the man!”
Sal grinned as he looted around. “Isn't this an incredible day?”
“Why don't you guys have a seat,” I said. “We have things to talk about.”
Jimmy blinked as he surveyed our less than excited expressions.
“What's wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I said. “But we need to talk. Please?”
Sal was disappointed. “But what about this gold we found?”
“Hey, I found it,” Jimmy interrupted. “It's mine.”
“The gold isn't going anywhere,” I said.
Jimmy and Sal shrugged and pulled up a couple of chairs.
“At least I could be congratulated on my find,” Jimmy mumbled.
Once again all eyes were on me, even Shena's. I had started the ball rolling, I suppose it was natural for them to think I knew where it was going. My only worry was that there was a cliff up ahead that Mentor had not told me about.
As a preliminary, I brought everyone up to date on what I had observed; Sal's knee; Jimmy's supernatural vision; Teri's healing ability. Sal and Jimmy got excited about what had happened to Gale's hand, but I pointed out that the ability had not yet worked on Shena's face. When I was through I turned to Sal.
“Are you noticing anything else besides an improved left knee?” I asked.
He hesitated. “What do you mean?”
“I picked up that bag of gold for a moment,” I said. “It was heavy. But from the other side of the lake to here you carried it like it was a bag of popcorn.”
“I carried it part of the way back,” Jimmy piped in.
Sal was annoyed. “What is it with you, Daniel?”
“I just want to know if you have developed extra strength in the last twenty-four hours?” I said.
Sal snorted. “Yeah. I'm Superman.”
I persisted. “What is with you? Why don't you answer my question?”
Sal eyed me real slow as he had at the stream.
“I have noticed that I feel stronger, yes,” he said finally.
“How strong do you feel?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I don't know, like I could play football again and be a winner. Does that answer your question?”
“Honey,” Teri said. “Daniel is just trying to understand what’s going on. We all are, you don't have to snap at him.”
“I don't like being interrogated,” Sal said.
I sighed. ““All these things that ate happening sound good and somehow we are making a mess of them. Maybe I'm to blame, I don't know. Maybe I’m being too serious and we should just enjoy these miracles. But besides trying to figure out how each of us has changed, I want to discuss where we want to go from here. But I don't want to talk about it alone. These things are supernatural – I think we need supernatural input.”
“You want to talk to Mentor?” Gale asked.
“Yes,” I said.
Gale surprised me. “I don't know if that's wise, at least at this point. Another session might accelerate what is happening. Already we're having trouble controlling the changes the group is going through. I would rather we use common sense to plot our next move. We can always talk to Mentor later if we feel the need. There is no reason to rush anything.”
I eyed her. My trust in her was not at an all-time high. The suspicion might have been an overreaction. I think she sensed that my feelings toward her were unsettled. Still, more than anything, even in the midst of everything else that was going on, I was still desperate to touch her.
“I disagree,” I said firmly. “Mentor is the only one we can turn to for guidance. He is the only one who understands what is happening. How can we plot our next move using common sense? The idea is ridiculous. Common sense would tell us that none of these things is happening.”
Gale did not back down from my strong words.
“I don't think Mentor is opposed to common sense,” she said. “All I'm asking for is a break. Let the atmosphere settle. We have the rest of the weekend.”
“I want to talk to Mentor,” Shena muttered.
Teri watched her with worried eyes. “He's not a god. He can't make everything all right.”
Shena stared at her. “You don't know that. Why don't you give him a chance?”
“I don't mi
nd talking to Mentor,” Jimmy said. “As long as he doesn't tell me I have to put my gold back in the ground.”
“Sal?” I asked.
He shrugged. “He's a smart guy. Talking to him can't hurt.”
“Teri?” I asked.
Her eyes were still on Shena. She sighed.
“I don't know,” she said. “We might be playing with fire. Maybe we should talk to an expert on this type of phenomenon?”
I snorted. “Where are we going to find an expert? In the Yellow Pages?”
“There are psychic researchers,” Gale said flatly. She was not pouring tons of love my direction and I didn’t care. I was sure that I was right. Mentor would speak and everything would be made clear.
“Fine,” I said sarcastically. “Call one up at UCLA or USC. Have him get his car and drive out here today to wire our brains up to an EEG.”
“Daniel—” Gale began.
“Mentor is on our side,” I interrupted. “Talking to him cannot hurt us, it can only help. Let's do it, let's do it now.”
There was an awkward silence, more shrugs, lowered heads. The vote was not as clean cut as I wanted, but it appeared I had the majority on my side. After using the bathroom and grabbing some lemonade, we settled in a circle around our yantra. Like the previous night, we started the session by taking long slow breaths through our nostrils. I was pretty uptight at the beginning. I didn't think I would be able to settle down.
Yet somewhere in the midst of the breathing, I lost track of my surroundings. Peace and expansion settled over me, and my mind went into observer mode rather than active-thinker. I didn't know if I was reaching up to same level as the previous night or if the night was merely coming back to me. I think it was a little of both. Images of a vast colorful plane flooded my awareness, clearer than ever before. I saw huge vessels moving through the starry sky, and beings of light that seemed independent of gravity. Several of the latter converged on the ground beside a cluster of glowing flowers that could have been a hundred feet tall. They formed a conference of some kind, and I knew they were exchanging ideas about planet Earth and how much help it needed.
There were six of them.
I realized I was observing the Star Group.
Our final meeting before incarnation on Earth.
Then my mind seemed to fragment. I was still observing them, but I also became aware of the background of the meeting. Not the physical background, but the historical events that had led up to it. Over thousands of years many beings from this world had chosen to come to Earth. But at this time, because it was the end of a vast cycle of evolution, more were planning to come at once, not just this group of six.
Yet these six were not all from this world. One of them was an alien to Ortee; its light was distinctively different from that of the others. Especially around the heart, where it did not glow with the wonderful green radiance of the others. As I came closer, I realized that even though this alien was of fourth density vibration, it did have a form of sorts.
It looked vaguely reptilian.
Understanding swept over me. This being was from a race that had long ago warred with Ortee and its people. It was from another portion of the galaxy, beyond which there seemed to be a metaphysical barrier of some kind. Yet it wanted to incarnate on Earth with the others to contribute to the Star Group. It communicated positive intentions, and there was no mistaking the power of the entity. As I observed, I realized that even without the green radiance it was brighter than the other beings.
I wondered who it was.
Which one of us it was.
I thought it might be myself.
Right then the random idea of an eighteen-year old guy named Daniel Stevens brought me partway out of my deep state. I became aware of my body and that I was sitting on the porch of a mountain cabin with my friends. They were silent; they didn't seem to be breathing deeply. Words popped out of my mouth, words I hadn't anticipated.
“This is Mentor. You may ask your questions.”
There was a long silence.
None of them had questioned Mentor before.
Jimmy stirred. “Can I keep my gold?” he asked.
“Is it your gold? Do you own anything in this world?”
Jimmy seemed to fidget. “I suppose not. But what I want to know is if I can use this power to find other treasures?”
“Why do you want other treasures?”
Jimmy paused. “I figure if I can accumulate tons of money I could do a lot of good for people who are less fortunate than myself.”
“A noble idea. Why else do you covet wealth?”
Jimmy chuckled. “I suppose I wouldn't mind a big house in Beverly Hills. Is there anything wrong with that?”
“I ask these questions to clarify your motives in your own mind. I will let you decide what is the wrong and right use of wealth. On the other hand, to use your ability solely to gather wealth is not wisdom. The only true wealth is awareness. It is all you will take with you when you leave this world. Certainly, you will not be able to carry any bags of gold with you.”
Jimmy sounded uneasy. “I don't think there's anything wrong with a little money.”
“That is true. It is a question of where your attention is. Where is your attention, Jimmy?”
A long pause. “I don't know.”
“Reflect on that.”
“I will.” Jimmy added, “Thank you.”
“I have a question,” Sal said. “Is it all right if I go back to playing football?”
“Why do you want to go back to football?” Teri muttered.
“Because I love football,” Sal said with feeling, talking to his girlfriend now instead of Mentor. “When I got hurt I had to bury my life dream to be a big star. Just because I didn't whine a lot about it doesn't mean it didn't bother me.”
“I know it bothered you,” Teri said. “But who wants to spend the rest of his life getting hit by other grown men? Football is a barbaric sport. Don't you agree, Mentor?”
“Don't try to put words in his mouth,” Sal warned.
“I am simply asking him a question,” Teri said.
“What is the question? Should Sal play football? Is football a positive way to spend one's life? I believe you are all old enough to answer these questions for yourselves. A better question, Sal, would be to ask yourself exactly how you want to use your newfound gift.”
“I understand what you’re implying,” Sal said. “Football may seem a trivial pastime to you out there on your space planet. But here on Earth it's a big thing, and I love playing it. It's my first and last big love.”
“I thought I fitted in there somewhere,” Teri said. “I guess not.”
“Teri,” Sal complained. “You're twisting what I meant.”
“Let's not fight with Mentor,” Jimmy butted in. “I'll find plenty of treasure and buy a professional football team. Sal can play or coach, it doesn't matter to me.”
“I have a question for Mentor,” Shena said.
“Yes?”
“Can you heal my face?”
“No.”
Shena took a breath. “Can Teri heal my face?”
“Not at this time.”
Shena wept. “Why not?”
“There is a time in life for everything. You live through many lives so that you may gain many types of experience. This wound you carry is a catalyst forcing you to turn inward. All suffering, in your density, is a catalyst. Do not resist it, rather, learn from it. You have a great deal, Shena, that you can learn during this period of awakening. Your will is strong, your third center. There is a great fire in you. You must learn to harness this strength and control it for the benefit of mankind. But the first thing you must discover is that you are not your body. Your body changes; the real you is beyond change. Look within and discover this truth and your suffering will cease once and for all.”
Shena sobbed. “But I don't want to be ugly.”
“Shena,” Jimmy interrupted.
Shena jumped up. I
heard her. My eyes popped open.
Shena stood over Jimmy. Fire in her eyes, not her third center.
“You did this to me!” she swore, her fingers pointed like claws to scratch his eyes out if she wanted. “You did it to me on purpose!”
Jimmy slowly got up. The session was over and I knew clearly right then that that was a tragedy. Everyone looked nervous. Jimmy tried to touch Shena, but she pushed him away.
“Calm down,” he told her. “Now I can buy you the best plastic surgeons in the world.”
Shena went ballistic. “You think you can buy me a face? What you destroyed cannot be fixed! What you did cannot be forgiven!” She swiped at the bag of gold and sent the dust flying across the porch. “You keep your goddamn money! You spent it on your next girlfriend! You use your new power for yourself! I don’t give a damn. You are all damned!”
With that Shena ran from the porch and into the house.
We let her go; we thought it best.
But when we looked in the house she was gone.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I BECAME LOST IN THE WOODS SHOUTING Shena's name. The mess at the end of the session had disturbed me greatly. I felt responsible for the situation and was trying to salvage my conscience by searching the woods aimlessly. At least I recognized the fruitlessness of my hunt. I had no idea which direction the cabin was or if I was covering ground I had already covered. My voice was getting hoarse. If Shena was listening she probably wasn't going to answer me anyway.
I checked my watch.
I had been looking for her for three hours.
The sun was getting low in the sky. To be lost in the woods in the dark – what a scary thought. No, I take that back. I did not know what scary was. I did not that for every ray of beauty in the universe there an equal element of horror. Mentor had said something about the need for balance in all things. All the good that had happened to me in the last week, all the joy and exaltation, was about to be canceled out in one fell stroke.
I stumbled across the stream where I had earlier in the day found Sal tossing miniature boulders into the water. The sun was falling low, but it was still hot. Going down on my knees, I pressed my lips to the stream surface and sucked hungrily. But then I noticed a strange color in the water. That red kind of fluid that has a bad habit of showing up in a crisis.