Chapter 20. The Sense
The Soldier was thoughtful and silent, the Stranger was calm. As approaching the City, he felt stronger, filling with knowledge unknown before. It seemed to him that he is gaining authorities: to give orders, bring under his control, or even punish. This conflicted with his views and led inevitably to inner conflict. On the one hand, he is a weapon of Providence, yet he is also peaceful man not wishing to inflict suffering even on hostile people.
Educational methods are permitted if they are fruitful. But if not? Then these methods turn into punishment, revenge… But, after all, God says: “I will revenge you”. Some people said: “The God will revenge on those who are stronger then we are, but it is useless to bother him needlessly, once we are able to stand up for ourselves”, and those who said this, slaughtered even their enemies’ children until their fragile teeth turn into fangs to revenge their fathers.
The Stranger realized that if the war begins, the millstones will grind more and more people. He felt its coming. Perception of reality was changing in him. The Stranger was getting very attentive and ready to respond instantly to any threatening motion.
“Tell me, how you feel the sense of struggle?” he addressed to his friend, stroking his neck.
The Soldier looked at him in surprise:
“If you are going to fight, this means that things look black. It is useless to rely on fists in the City. Well, let find a pair of guns. Can you shoot?”
“To fight does not always mean to strike out wildly. Tell me!” the Stranger demanded.
“There is a difference before the hand-to-hand fighting and fire-fighting,” the Soldier took his mind off sore thoughts.
“Tell me about hand-to-hand fighting.”
The Soldier’s eyes gleamed for a moment.
“When taking up the battle, you must feel confident, absolutely confident. Above all is to get rid of fear. To achieve this feeling I should be aware of my doing by rights. I must ‘read’ my enemy as an ‘open book’, and foresee all his movements, combinations, and maneuvers, that is have total control over him. Since before the enemy strikes at me, I know the path of the blow, so I can easily dodge or block the attack, or deliver a counterattack. I have to see the weak points, or make the enemy reveal them. A fighter must be trained as close as possible to the true combat conditions. Dangerous and painful training instills confidence, depriving of fear in a real battle.”
“OK. But I enquired for something else. I asked: how it is that you anticipate fighting?”
“I see,” the Soldier felt flattered with the Stranger’s interest in his art. “In the very beginning I feel slightly anxious. It doesn’t hinder me but makes me mobilize all resources. Then I set myself up for fighting. I try to calm myself down, concentrate, and envision my victory. Yet, sometimes I feel panic-stricken, not anxiety, and it was time to avoid struggling. Whenever I couldn’t escape, my confidence sank. At that moment, I did nervously and not always successfully. Why have you talked of that?”
“I have started feeling like that, but I don’t know, why. My war is not against sons of men…” all of a sudden he felt power, stopped talking, and turned to the window.
“I cannot grip what you mean, but I feel not quite the thing,” the Soldier looked at the Stranger frowningly with caution.
“I cannot grip it myself, sorry,” the latter responded not facing the Soldier.