“I’m really sorry to hear that.” Lex strums over my hand lightly with her blood red pointed nails in a show of affection. “My aunt died the same way. Only she was alone in the car. I know my cousin blames himself, but that’s not the way things like this work. You can’t use it as a crutch. You don’t get to have that excuse for the rest of your life. His mother would hate it, and so would yours.”
I blink into the idea. “I guess you’re right. I have sort of been using it as an excuse for an awful lot of things, but it’s only natural.”
“So is diarrhea, but it’s lethal if you have it nonstop. Anyway, I made sure to stay in town to help care for the younger two. Rush and Sunday hadn’t even graduated high school at that point. Their older brother, Nolan, just recently pulled his act together, and their father is married to his business. Honestly, I’m still not sure if he knows my aunt is gone.” She averts her eyes at the thought, and that flicker of annoyance that just whipped through her lets me know her uncle sits square on her shit list.
“Wow, that’s really nice of you to stay here and make sure your family is okay. How about your mom and dad? I bet they’re really proud of you.”
“They’re gone.” Her lips give a dismal smack as she takes my fork and helps herself to another bite of my waffles. “Mom took off when I was just a kid,” she says through a mouthful. “She had this weird thing with an old boyfriend and left my kid sister and me with my dad. He had a heart attack at work one day. He sold insurance, sat in the same cubicle for the last twenty years of his life.” She loses her gaze out the window a moment. “Priscilla was my mom’s sister—she’s the aunt that died in the wreck.”
“That’s terrible.” My lips start in on an uncontrollable quiver, and I leap over the vintage tray with those waffles to die for, and pull her into a hearty embrace.
“What are you doing?” she whispers, and her voice drops down to its lower register as if I’ve just initiated a move to confuse a burglar—or her.
“It’s called a hug, Lex. Just go with it.”
An angry knock erupts over the front door, and we both jump, nearly sending the waffles airborne.
“Who is that?” she hisses my way.
“How the hell would I know?”
She grimaces when I spill the H word, so I quickly retract. “How the heck would I know? Should I be flattered that you think I can see through walls?”
“You’re not funny.” She swings her legs off the bed and heads for the door. “If it’s the Frencher, I’m shooting on sight.”
“Arrggh! For the last time, he did not French you!” It’s become a hotly contested point whether or not Levi gifted her tongue when she so subtly grazed her mouth over his. “I’d bet my life on the fact the only thing he gifted you was a public rejection. That man was squirming and worming his way out of that headlock you had him in! I witnessed the event myself.”
But it’s not Levi on the other end of those rabid knocks ready to settle our French debate once and for all—it’s Raven.
“Oh my God!” I pull Lex over and hide behind her like a human shield, but that doesn’t stop my bestie from barreling inside.
“Come out, you coward. I see you.” She plucks me from Lex’s robe and pulls me into a hard embrace. “Levi told me everything.”
I swallow hard at the thought, then I remember what a swine he is, and I swat her over the arm for being related to the goof.
“What are you doing here?” She holds me at the shoulders and examines me from head to toe in this sorry, less-than-hygienic state. “And who the hell is this woman who’s holding you hostage?” She glowers at Lex as if her involuntary confinement theory were true on some level, and I can’t help but laugh. I likened Lex to my captor just under an hour ago. “Do you mind giving us a little privacy?” Raven spews the words with such attitude Lex’s head is right back on that swivel.
“No,” she flatlines with the promise of death to all, the way only Lex can deliver. “Shall we sit on the couch or head back to bed?”
Raven sucks in a hard breath as she turns to me. “You were in bed with her? You’re cheating on me!” She gives me a few quick swats to the bottom, and I quickly lead the twin psychos deeper into the living room lest feathers and waffles fly in the next room.
“What can I do for you?” I judge my proximity to the exit should the unavoidable urge to bolt strike me as Raven and Lex eye one another.
Raven needles me with that pissed yet bossy glare, a combo only she could perfect—well, up until I met Lex.
Who knew life would throw at me two potentially murderous besties?
“Get your things, Low,” Raven seethes while staring down Lex in her own home. “You’re coming with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you.” I jump behind Lex and peer over her shoulder. “I’m staying with her.”
“What?” Raven shrieks so loud the walls rattle with her discontent. “Don’t you sass me, young lady.” She gets that wild look in her eye that has always made me giggle, and much to my detriment I do just that. “Are you laughing at me? Do you think this is funny? My brother is worried sick about you.”
“Why? Because he didn’t get to dump me himself?” I walk around Lex and stand shoulder-to-shoulder with her—mostly because I’ve never argued like this with Raven before, and I might need backup. “Well, too bad! If anyone does the dumping around here, it’s me.”
Raven’s mouth opens, then closes as she shakes her head. “Fine. Have it your way. He’ll be at The Pelican tonight.”
“Good,” I snipe. “Tell him to have my final paycheck ready, because I’ll be picking it up myself. I’m not afraid of anyone, and I’m certainly not afraid to face your brother. I’m no coward as you indelicately pointed out.” My voice is still stuck on its highest octave, and it feels foreign yelling at Raven, altogether wrong.
Her features crumble as she takes a step toward me.
I clear my throat. “Raven—you and I have been through a lot of things together, a lot of shitty boyfriends—but this is different.” My voice breaks, and I try to swallow back the hurt. “Those other boys came and went, and we remained strong. But this is your brother. He’s broken my heart, and now what do we do? I can’t ask you to choose between us. He’s blood. I’m not even close to family. I guess this is where we fall apart, too.” Tears stream down my face, dripping down to my bare feet in fat, juicy splats.
“This is not where we end.” Her voice shakes as her hands rise back to her hips in that defensive stance. “You are not allowed to come to any ridiculous conclusions about my brother either until you hear him out. You owe him that much.”
“Owe?” Lex grunts as if she were personally affronted. “She owes him that much? Honey, she doesn’t owe that jerk anything.” Lex strides up a little too close to Raven and gets in her face with that angry snarl of hers. “If your brother was half the man you think he is, he would pen her heart and my mouth a letter of apology!”
Raven growls as she inches in until they’re nose-to-nose. “If my brother is smart, he’ll get a rabies shot after that stunt you pulled!”
“If I’m smart, I’ll press charges,” Lex roars before cutting me a look. “I didn’t want to say anything, but Frenchie copped a feel.” She snaps back to Raven. “That’s right. Your rotten brother stole second base!”
Memories of Levi stealing second base come flooding back, and I’m suddenly missing those innocent flirtation-laden days. Just the thought of Levi manages to send a swarm of butterflies ripping through my stomach, a little loud and obnoxious, sort of like Levi himself.
Raven bumps Lex with her shoulder, and I quickly insert myself between the two of them. “No way are you two going to duke it out—not over Levi, anyway. If anyone should be coming to blows over him, it should be me. But I’m not. I’m done with him.” I burp out the words as an ugly cry bubbles to the surface, and both Raven and Lex wrap their arms around me.
Lex touches her forehead to mine. “We’ll find a way to
get even.”
Raven huffs at the idea. “We’ll find a way to get the two of you back together.”
I blink up at the girl I’ve practically grown up with and shake my head. “The only thing I’m going to The Pelican for is my paycheck. Levi and I aren’t getting back together. Even if I wanted to, my heart wouldn’t let me. It’s already broken.”
Raven presses her lips tight as a swell of tears brim in her eyes. “He didn’t mean to do it.” Her voice grows small. I’ve seen an entire rainbow of Raven’s emotions, and yet I’ve never seen her so torn up. This catastrophe is precisely why she didn’t want me dating her brother. She knew he was a hurricane waiting to rip right through me. Maybe Mer wasn’t the bad guy in the relationship after all. Maybe he showed Meredith his cruel side before he ever did me. Although a part of me has a hard time believing Levi can be anything remotely close to cruel—even if I did see the text myself. It’s so out of character—I wonder if I knew him at all.
“Look”—Raven closes her eyes and swallows hard as if it’s taking all of her strength to say what comes next—“he’s been through a lot in the last few years. There are still things about my brother that you don’t know.”
“God, he sounds like a freak.” Lex steps in next to me as we ogle Raven together.
“He’s not a freak.” Raven’s voice pitches, and her eyes grow wild with anger once again. “And would you stop getting so close to her? She’s mine. I licked her years ago.”
The licking was actually literal. It involved a Ben and Jerry’s container we were warring over that happened to explode between us. I swear on all that is holy it was nonsexual in nature, but I swore I’d reenact that one day with a boy on the licking end of the creamy disaster. And considering the fact everything’s sort of a disaster these days, that whole licking scenario may never manifest itself.
“She’s mine, too.” Lex wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. “You should come to yoga with me on Mondays. It’s the only way to start off the week. We can hit Hallowed Grounds after if you want.”
“I would love that!”
“Oh, stop,” Raven barks. “The two of you aren’t having all that fun without me.”
“Actually”—I bite down on the smile budding on my lips because it’s kind of nice to have two people I care about battling it out over me—“I think it would be more fun if the three of us went together. You know”—I give an apprehensive glance up at Lex—“as friends.”
Her head ticks back as if I struck her. “Friends.” She glowers at Raven.
“Friends.” I pull Raven into our unholy huddle and wrap my arms around the two of them. “I may not have the man of my dreams in my life anymore, but I have the two of you. That counts for something. Heck, it counts for everything.”
Raven dots my cheek with a kiss. “So, you’re coming to The Sloppy Pelican tonight?”
Thoughts of that rustic jewel make me swim with sadness. “Only if the two of you come with me.”
“I’m in.” Raven is quick to commit to the cause—an unrealistic one.
“I’m in.” Lex raises a sharp, dark brow like a bow readying to shoot an arrow—one filled with poison.
“I’m in, too.” It comes out bleak and despondent.
Face it.
The last place on the planet I want to be is anywhere near Levi Masterson.
A navy sky hangs heavy over The Sloppy Pelican with a smattering of stars spread across the expanse like shards of broken glass. It feels like a million years ago I walked through those oversized rusty dusty wooden doors and into a whole new world. As soon as I laid eyes on Levi Masterson, I knew I wanted to make him mine. Of course, I had no idea who he was or who he was soon to become in my life. But one thing is for certain—he had my whole heart before we ever said a word to one another. Sure, things got off on the wrong foot, but silly me thought it was just keeping with the theme of that God-awful day I was having. Once Levi and I hit our stride, I thought for sure there would be no stopping us. Peaches and Boobear forever and all that good stuff, but as usual I was wrong. He was just after a good time, and I was the young annoying thing or whatever horrible euphemism he used to put me down in that text he sent his sister. Levi and I were nothing but another run-of-the-mill disaster in my life. I should have known it would never work out. This is me we’re talking about. Fairytales and happy endings happen to other people, not to walking disasters who curse everything they touch. I’m a calamity in the flesh, and for me to ever think I’ll have what the rest of the world has is nothing more than an illusion. Levi and I were a debacle in the making from the start. I should have read the signs. They all said run.
“You ready?” Raven pats down the front of my dress as if we were going to homecoming. She thought it would be a good idea to don my sexiest little blue dress because she promised me this would be a night I would never forget. And shockingly, Lex agreed, but her reasoning was a little more in line with mine. We want to make Levi squirm. Lex, too, donned a tight little dress, red FMs to match. And Raven is set to stun in a white dress that makes the three of us look like a walking ode to the flag.
“I’m ready.” I tip my chin up, and the three of us walk together with our arms interlinked. Only we’re too wide to fit in the door, so we sort of do a little awkward sideways march before disbanding.
The restaurant is brimming with people, and it takes my breath away. “Oh my gosh!” I say, stunned at how even the overflow tables are filled to the hilt. The tips I could garner on a night like this could potentially buy me a brand new car. “It’s nice to see my menu upgrades are working their culinary magic.” It comes out a little too pissy.
Lex sneers at the establishment as if it were Axel himself. “And the band you implemented, and don’t forget the mood lighting.”
Raven gasps. “You did all that? My God, you singlehandedly turned this place around!”
“You better believe it.” I pull my shoulders back as I ready to head to the bar, although I’m terrified to look in that direction in the event I see him. My heart beats so fast, so loud, it thunders right over the music flooding through the speakers as tonight’s band wails away. “Oh, look!” I crane my neck to get a better look at them. “They’ve got groupies dancing at their feet!”
Raven sighs. “Brody moved the furniture around and made room for a dance floor. This place is really turning out to be something.”
“Yeah.” It comes out bleak—“a real it place now that I’m not coming around anymore. I’d better get this over with before the ceiling collapses and leaves all of Hollow Brook in deep mourning.”
It takes all of my strength to look toward the bar, and I spot Axel standing near the edge talking to a couple of customers, both men in suits, probably co-workers from his father’s legal firm. I turn and cast a quick glance to Lex.
“You got this?”
Her chest bucks with a simple laugh. “I’ve got this. Go get your money. I’ll be right here waiting for you.”
“Oh no, she won’t.” Raven wraps her arm around Lex like an anaconda. “We’re heading over to check out the band. Take all the time you need!” She waves as they disappear into a sea of bodies.
I look back to the bar and note Axel’s eyes wide with surprise as he pins his gaze on Lex. I don’t care what she says. That boy still has the hots for her. I’ve never seen anyone look at anyone the way he’s looking at her.
A tall, dark, and unbelievably handsome man steps into view, and he just so happens to be looking at me that way. My heart palpitates ten times faster than humanly possible, and it feels as if my arteries are about to burst from the herculean rush of adrenaline. If this pace keeps up, I’ll splatter the walls with all of my affection for him in less than thirty seconds.
“Levi,” I say his name like a curse.
“Low. You look stunning.” He steps in close, those deep aquamarine eyes are speared so deep into mine they’re penetrating me in ways far more intimate than any other part of him ever has—w
ell, almost. Before I can process another moment of this, Levi is on me. His arms are wrapped so intensely over my person that I struggle to breathe. How I’ve craved the feel of his solid rock-hard chest over mine. How I’ve missed those strong arms roped over me—securing me to him, to the world like a seat belt. His chest bucks, and it’s only then I realize he’s overcome with emotion, and I fight like hell to keep mine in check, but I’m right there with him, my chest bucking against his in a hopeless act of despair.
He pulls back. That sad smile on his face is reminiscent of those early days after the arrest, after I landed in his beautiful home. I’ll never forget thinking that Levi Masterson was the world’s most beautiful yet despondent man to ever walk the face of the earth. And now he’s right back to beautiful and despondent where I found him. It’s probably best that way. This is probably the part where we should back steadily away and resume our separate lives before I cast a pall on things.
But instead, I glower at him a moment, because technically, it was him who cast a pall on this relationship. I wasn’t the one who sent Raven a questionable text. And then, just like that, a breath hitches in my throat as all of those pictures I sent to her claiming they were Evie come to mind. Hey? I guess I was sort of messing with Raven myself. Maybe he didn’t mean those things.
“What do you have to say for yourself?” I toss my hair back the way Lex would, only Lex would most likely be wielding a knife at this degraded point in the relationship. She’s sort of no-nonsense that way, and right now I’m wishing I were, too.
“Everything.” He closes his eyes, his arms still holding me tight. “You want to step outside for a moment?”
“Sure.” It comes out reluctant because I know that once we step outside this door, we’re one step closer to his truck, which is just a drive from his home, which happens to house my favorite bed, the one I shared with him. How I miss those heated exchanges, that drugged look in his eyes that made me ten times weaker when he was deep inside of me. Levi made me feel things I didn’t even know were possible.