She shuddered and started to breathe harder. “You’re fucking hard right now, aren’t you?”
Um, duh. “As a steel fucking pipe.”
“Damn it.” She growled again. “We just did it, like, five minutes ago.” Even as she complained, she pushed me back onto my spine and crawled on top of me to straddle my waist. Then she hovered above me and tucked her thighs warm and tight around my waist. I listened to her fumble and find a condom on my nightstand.
The sound of her ripping it open made my stomach muscles tense in anticipation. Then she gripped me with her free hand and felt her way into slipping on the latex. Once she had me sheathed and she’d positioned herself in place above me, I lifted as soon as her warm wetness settled against the head of my cock. But Midnight Visitor caught my hip, keeping me from plunging into her.
I arched an eyebrow in the dark. “I guess you want to be totally in charge this round, huh?”
She answered me by grasping both my wrists and pinning them to the bed on either side of my head. With a roll of her hips, she guided me inside her. I could’ve broken free; she wasn’t holding me all that tight. But she seemed to like what she was doing, and I sure as hell didn’t mind it.
She began to ride me, and I groaned, arching my back. “Fuck...me.” This was awesome.
Above me, she let out a husky chuckle. Fingernails lightly scraped up my chest to play with my nipples. “What’re the odds that I can make you cry out that other woman’s name when you come?”
“Wha...?” She about made me go cross-eyed by how tight and fast she moved. I couldn’t think about anything else at the moment.
“Are you imagining I’m her right now?”
The woman was killing me. I was getting carried away with how good she felt, and here she had to go and remind me of Caroline? “Shh,” I hissed, reaching up to grip her breasts. “Don’t be weird.”
“It’s okay,” she murmured, as if coaxing a frightened animal. “You can say it. Say her name.”
I gritted my teeth. “I’m not going to fucking say her name.”
“But I don’t mind if you—”
“That’s fucked up. You have to mind. Why wouldn’t you mind?” Hell, I wanted her to mind. If she didn’t care, then this couldn’t mean as much to her as it did to me. And I couldn’t accept the idea that she wasn’t as into me as I was into her.
She slid her hand down my chest, over my belly and below my navel to where, oh Holy God, I think she touched herself. “Because what if...what if it’s my name you say?”
“It’s not...it can’t be.” I shook my head, denying it, even as I reached for her hand, because I had to know what she was—fuck me, she was rubbing her clit.
“But what if it is?” she pressed, drawing me back to that damn annoying conversation. Her voice grew breathier. She had to be getting closer to her release, an idea which made me closer to mine.
“You better not fucking be her,” I gritted out, arching up into her.
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t...shit, fuck, that feels good. I can’t feel this with her. I can’t do this with her.”
“And yet that’s exactly what you might be doing.”
Just the idea that she could be Caroline had me so close, I bucked my hips again, harder this time, driving into her as deep as I could go. She cried out and dug her fingers into my shoulders. “Oren.”
“Damn,” I panted. “I want to see you so bad right now.”
She leaned down so I could feel her legs shift with each plunge that she wrought down on me. Something that had been hanging around her neck thumped against my chest right before she whispered into my ear. “Sorry, but you’ll just have to use your imagination. Because you’ll never see me during these visits.”
“Oh, yeah?” I was tempted to just put her in her place. “I could reach over and flip on my nightlight...right now.”
She sucked in a breath and clamped her hands back around my wrists, pinning them to the mattress again. But then she went and challenged me. “Then why aren’t you?”
I tugged my hands free, which made her suck in a startled breath. But instead of going for the light switch, my fingers attacked her hair, burying themselves deep and giving a tug, which she’d seemed to like as much as last time.
“Because I like this game,” I hissed in her ear.
“Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod,” she chanted her orgasm mantra, telling me she was right there. Then the walls of her sex collapsed around my dick, squeezing tight as she came. “Oren.”
Her use of my first name was what tipped me over the edge. I’d wanted to wait until she was done, then try to build her up again, but her orgasm seemed to clutch me by the balls and had me releasing deep inside her.
“Damn it, damn it.” I clenched my teeth and bucked my hips wildly, lifting her from the bed as I tried to hold it back. And failed. “Caroline.”
It felt so good, I couldn’t even think as I pulled her hair and slammed up into her again and again.
When she collapsed on top of me, that thing she was wearing thunked against my chest again. A cool metal chain was connected to it, so I figured it was a necklace.
Silken hair fluttered over my arm as she nestled her cheek on my shoulder. It felt nice. I knew I could keep her there just like that forever and be completely content. But that thing still resting on my chest piqued my curiosity.
“What is this?” I asked as I dipped my face to feather my lips down her neck until I had a mouthful of the chain and gave it a small tug. I picked up the amulet with my fingers and felt out its shape. Sadness rocked through me because I couldn’t remember Caroline ever wearing anything so large.
I didn’t like proof that Midnight Visitor wasn’t her, even though they were beginning to separate in my mind and become two different people.
“It’s a necklace,” she murmured, her voice amused.
“Hmm.” Maybe Caroline just wore it under her shirt. That wasn’t completely unrealistic. It was about as realistic as me admitting Midnight Visitor was her. I continued to trace the rounded oval shape before I pressed it back to her chest and outlined it with my tongue. She let out a hum of pleasure.
“Does it mean anything special to you?”
Her fingers drifted into my hair, making my scalp tingle. “Of course.”
I chuckled and lifted my face when she didn’t elaborate. “But you’re not going to tell me?”
“Do you really want to know?”
I shrugged. Kind of, yeah. I was beginning to grow very curious about my midnight visitor. I wanted to know all kinds of things, including, apparently, the importance of her necklace.
The more time I spent with this woman, the more confused I grew. Whoever I was with now was getting under my skin. She knew how to draw me out. Or maybe I’d allowed myself to grow closer to her because I secretly wanted her to be Caroline. Either way, what we had here between us was pretty sweet, yet I felt like shit because she was a true, live person that I was using.
Then again, this wasn’t Caroline. This was someone I could actually be with, so why couldn’t I stop imagining she was someone else and just...be with her?
Unease stirred within me. There were reasons why I hadn’t had a steady girlfriend in four years, why I didn’t let myself stay long with one chick, why I refused to let myself open up and let anyone in. But meeting Caroline a year ago had changed all that.
And now that I’d loosened my ways for her, this woman here was trying to squeeze in too. That panicked me. I had no clue what she looked like or what her name was, but the girl with me right now had a hold on me.
I had thought I liked the mystery of not knowing who she was. But now I was curious. Tracing my finger down the middle of her chest between her breasts, I kissed her cheek. My gut clenched, because I knew a small part of me would be disappointed. I’d been having fun daydreaming she was Caroline, but I was going to have to get over my obsession with her. And this woman was the closest I’d ever come to what I fe
lt for Gamble’s little sister.
I buried my face in her neck. With our arms and legs wrapped up in each other, I felt as close to her as I’d ever felt to another living human, and yet I also felt worlds apart.
I knew what I was hiding. But what the hell was she hiding? Why didn’t she want me to see who she was?
“I’ve been working on my portfolio,” I said, hoping if I shared something about me, she’d share something about herself.
“Hmm?” Her voice was drowsy and pretty much disinterested in whatever I had to say. “What?”
“Jesus, woman.” I sighed. “First you tell me to talk to you, and when I finally start to, you fall asleep on me. What’s up with that?”
She yawned and sat upright. “No, I’m awake. I’m awake. Sorry. Now, what were you saying about a portfolio? As in...your architecture portfolio? Oh my God, are you already looking for a job?”
“Yeah.” I should’ve known she’d be fully aware I was an architecture major, even though I told most everyone I was getting a construction degree. My stalker was just that good. “All my teachers and my counselor are telling me it’s smart to get a head start and apply to places now, before I graduate.”
“Wow.” She sounded shell-shocked. “But your graduation is just—”
“Less than a month away,” I finished softly, moving closer to her without meaning to.
“Yeah,” she whispered and nestled back down beside me to burrow close and kiss my shoulder. “So...have you found any places looking for new architects?”
Again, I nodded. “A couple.”
“Oh my God. Wow. W-where?”
“There are a few in-state firms I’m checking out. Some in Missouri and Ohio. One as far away as Lake Tahoe.”
“Lake Tahoe? As in California, Lake Tahoe?”
“Mmm hmm.” I drew the scent of her hair deeply into my lungs and grew drowsy.
“Wow.” I swore I heard disappointment in her voice and wondered, what that was about?
“I’d show you some of the designs I was putting into it, but that would take turning on a light.” Plus I was just too tried to move off this bed and fetch much of anything right now.
“That’s okay,” she told me as she began to pet my hair. “I’m sure they’re amazing. You’re such a talented artist.”
A muscle jerked in my cheek. It’d been four years since anyone had used that very term on me. Talented artist. My sister used to demand that I draw pictures of her. She’d even posed in the strangest ways and screwed her face up into some comical expression. And she’d said I nailed her portrait every time.
I closed my eyes, pushing those memories away.
“I can’t believe you might seriously move all the way to California.” Midnight Visitor scraped her nails gently across my scalp, and they were doing a serious number on my consciousness.
Sleep soaked into my veins as I relaxed into her soft breasts. “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet,” I mumbled, and then I remembered no more.
As Oren went limp against me and I knew he’d fallen asleep, I released a deep breath and slowed the progress of my fingers that were skimming through his hair.
There was so much to swallow all of a sudden. But he was leaving? I knew it was the next logical step for someone who was graduating from college, but shit...I hadn’t even considered the possibility. Because I was obviously an idiot.
Or maybe because Oren never acted like someone who was itching to grow up and move away.
But what was even more unnerving was the fact he’d said my name when he’d come. I don’t think he even realized what he’d done. He hadn’t said anything about it afterward, and he hadn’t acted strange. I grew more certain with every passing second that he didn’t have a clue what he’d done.
My hands began to shake and tears welled in my eyes. Well, it had happened. My dream for him to want me as much as I wanted him had come true, but I just wanted to bawl because it was too much to take. It was too beautiful, too surreal, too...God! And two seconds later, he drops that bomb about maybe moving away, as far as California?
What the hell was I getting myself into? I was risking the wrath and trust of my brother for an immature, man-whore jerk who was probably going to leave and break my heart. And I was doing it with my eyes wide open, because no matter how hard I told myself to run, I just couldn’t leave him, not yet. I dropped my cheek to his shoulder and ran my fingers up and down his hard chest.
“I love you,” I whispered, glad I at least had this peaceful moment with him, a memory to carry away with me long after he was gone. But still, I had to add the quiet plea. “Please don’t go.”
When he didn’t answer, didn’t even stir, I gave a sad sigh and crawled out of his warm embrace. As I left the bed, he rolled my way as if seeking me in his sleep. Pain knifed through me, but I kept going and found my clothes in the dark.
I was tempted to flip on the night lamp so I could have one glimpse of him asleep and naked on his bed, but I didn’t want to risk waking him and letting him see me, so I felt my way to the door and hurried down the dark hall toward the front room.
As I walked along the sidewalk toward home, eighteen blocks from Aspen’s house, I decided it would be best if Midnight Visitor had just made her last foray to Oren’s bedroom.
When I woke in the morning, I was alone. I instantly missed her and swiped out my hand to her side of the bed. The head-shaped indention in the pillow next to mine made me smile. At least I had proof she was real.
The stinging on my back as I showered was more proof.
“What the hell?” I muttered, twisting and trying to feel around back there to figure out what was wrong with me. It wasn’t until I’d stepped out and was drying myself off that I caught a glimpse of the scratch marks on my shoulder blades and realized what the sting was. She must’ve left her mark when I’d gone down on her last night. She had gripped me pretty hard.
Damn, I liked that. Grinning, I whistled as I strolled back to my room in nothing but a towel. I started to make my bed, feeling like a dork when I had to pause and lean down to smell her on my sheets. When I caught a whiff of her unique perfume, I sighed and sucked in an even deeper inhale. God, she smelled so good. I was about to crawl onto the bed and jack off to thoughts of her when I stopped myself.
What the hell was I doing? Was I really this far gone for some chick I knew nothing about except how she felt, and smelled, and tasted...oh, and that she had an unnatural obsession for me? I must’ve lost my frigging mind. I was already fixated on someone, damn it; I didn’t need to add another woman to the list.
I’d let her in way too easily last night and given her some of that talking crap she’d wanted. Why had I done that? We didn’t need to talk. We were all about the physical. And that’s all it was, I commanded myself a little more firmly. In fact, next time she texted, I was just going to ignore her. I should find some chick that I had no problem just being physical with, and my life would return to normal. No more stress drawing, no more disturbing dreams like that one I’d had last night of my sister, and no more of this “feelings” bullshit. Not for me.
With a fistful of sheets, I ripped the covers off my bed, meaning to wash her scent off them, but then I realized I was actually following her orders to wash my bedding.
Damn it.
Fuck. They needed to be washed anyway. I kept tearing them from my mattress, a little more aggressively, pissed that some unnamed, faceless woman had me changing my mind so much in the past week. Dudes weren’t supposed to be such mind-changers. Before I knew it, I’d be growing ovaries.
“Pfft.” I snorted. “Not likely.”
When one corner of the fitted sheet wouldn’t come free of the mattress after one tug, I growled and jerked it with so much pressure that I stumbled backward when it finally came free. I ended up landing on my ass with the towel I had wrapped around my waist coming free and falling by the wayside.
But the most painful part was the hard, rock-like thing I lande
d on as it dug into my right butt cheek.
“Ouch. Fuck!”
Bare-ass naked, I scrambled off it and spun around to notice a necklace with the gold chain bunched around a bright oval stone.
Blinking, I sucked in a breath. “Oh, hell.” Remembering how I’d asked Midnight Visitor about her necklace last night, I swiped my thumb over the glittery green amulet. The clasp was broken, telling me it had accidently fallen off its owner.
This was the only link I had to her. Whoever she was, emeralds were somehow important to her. It made my chest fill with accomplishment to know that, and then irritation for even wanting to know it.
Caroline’s birthday was in May, so I instantly wandered what the birthstone for May was. No, fuck. I wasn’t going to associate her with Caroline any more. This woman should have her own identity, an identity I needed to dissociate myself from.
I debated what to do. Yesterday, I would’ve pulled out my phone and sent her a little message, holding her necklace for ransom until she agreed to give me what I wanted. Hell, I was still itching to do that. But I needed to get my head on straight here.
After tossing the amulet onto my bureau, I dressed for the day. I jammed a sketchpad and a few textbooks that I might need into my backpack, and I started for the door of my bedroom, only to pause and glance down at that damn necklace.
A split second decision later, I snatched it up and tucked it into my pocket before hightailing it out the door.
The Blondie-Ham combo were already gone for the day; they had early-ass classes, so I took my time, raiding the kitchen. I snagged a donut and Sunny D, then headed toward campus. My first class of the day was some boring business ethics thing I tried not to sleep (too heavily) through. Next was an architectural design class and then a lunch break before architectural history.
I hunted up some food at the campus deli during my free hour and then sprawled out in a big, comfy chair in the student union. I was polishing off a sub sandwich when I pulled the necklace from my pocket and fiddled with the broken clasp. Maybe I’d fix it, get it back to her and then I’d call it good between us. I mean, she’d sounded as if it meant something important to her; I’m sure she’d want it back. And one last goodbye fuck couldn’t hurt—