We kept our heads down and did our jobs. We controlled the only thing we could, which was the show. We did the thing. Because remember, the talking about the thing isn’t the thing. The doing of the thing is the thing.
In season 2 we started to gain momentum. Critics put us on lists and we were nominated for awards. Everyone realized we would never be a ratings juggernaut, but we just kept plugging along as we watched new NBC show after NBC show die on the table next to us. To be fair, we were often on life support ourselves. We would finish a season never really knowing if we would have another one, so Mike would always push the writers to take big swings and let characters evolve and change. Rob Lowe and Adam Scott joining us made us better and less likely to get canceled. We just kept doing it.
Mike would call me in July every summer and pitch me the upcoming season’s story line for Leslie. I can’t explain the joy and relief I felt, sitting on a porch in my Nantucket rental, swatting bugs and hearing about what was ahead. After spending years trying to generate my own material at SNL, this felt like someone was picking me up and carrying me Jesus/”Footprints” style.21 Leslie got to run for office, fall in and out of love, fight for her town, and eat waffles with her friends. I got to write and direct episodic television for the first time. I got to work with people like Louis CK, Megan Mullally, Fred Armisen, Patricia Clarkson, Will Arnett, and Detlef Schrempf. I have sex stories about all of them but I am saving those for my next book.22 23
21 Note from Mike: My grandfather really wanted me to be a deity, and this analogy is the closest I will ever get, and so for that I thank you.
22 Note from Mike: Your seven-year, real-life “will they, won’t they” saga with Detlef Schrempf could fill a hundred volumes.
23 Note from Mike annotating previous note: This is a joke. He is married I think. Hi, Detlef! (He’s definitely reading this right now.)
In the middle of season 2, I got pregnant again. I was excited and surprised.24 This meant that we had to sort of force NBC’s hand and try to get them to agree to shoot more episodes before I really blew up. With its cameras-looking-everywhere shooting style, Parks and Recreation was not the kind of show where you could hide a pregnant belly behind a few bags of groceries. We got an early pickup for season 3, and as soon as season 2 ended we just kept rolling and shot some extra episodes that we would bank for the beginning of the next year. If you have any doubt as to what a great actor Adam Scott is, go back and watch him join a show and immediately figure out how to flirt with a tired pregnant lady. It’s not easy. If I have learned anything from hip-hop, it’s that there’s nothing sexy about a baby that ain’t yours.
24 Note from Mike: So was I. Probably not in the same way.
Season 3 found us fighting for our right to party. We had been pushed to midseason, which is usually not exactly a vote of confidence from the network. The story line was all about a government shutdown, so both Amy and Leslie were frustrated about not getting back to work. The whole time Mike kept reminding me to keep my head down and control the only thing I could, which was the work. Somehow we survived.
Season 4 was all about Leslie’s running for city council. The wonderful Paul Rudd and Kathryn Hahn joined us for a while. Leslie won. We all won. We soldiered on.
Seasons 5 and 6 were about the frustrations of Leslie Knope’s new job. They also were about Ben and Leslie finally getting married and pregnant. They dealt with Ann and Chris leaving, Andy and April trying to figure out what they wanted, Donna finding love, and Tom entering a new business venture. I forget what happened with Jerry.
We had Sam Elliott, Michelle Obama, and Ginuwine on our show.
I can’t believe we have done all these episodes and of course I can believe it because I always knew we would. (It’s a miracle.)
In season 5, Leslie kicks off the season by visiting Washington, DC. Her boyfriend, Ben, decides to surprise her by setting up a meeting with her ultimate crush, Vice President Joe Biden. We shot that scene with Vice President Biden in his ceremonial office on the grounds of the White House, and he was charming and funny and a true pro—he didn’t even flinch when Leslie slightly leaned in for a kiss. That’s some old-school improv commitment right there. While we were walking out of the building, we learned that our show, which had been talked about as a front-runner for winning the Emmy for best comedy, did not even get nominated. We were upset, because as we know, no matter how much you think you don’t want the pudding, once people start telling you that you might get the pudding it makes you want that pudding bad. Instead of being upset, Mike said, “I am going to go write the scene where Ben proposes to Leslie.” He went back to his hotel room and wrote this.
INT. LESLIE AND BEN’S NEW HOUSE—NEXT DAY—DAY 3
Leslie and Martha the real estate lady.
MARTHA
Anything I can do to change your mind?
LESLIE
Sadly, no. My boyfriend might not be able to move back for a while, so . . . I have to back out. I just wanted to look at it one more time.
MARTHA
I can’t give you your deposit back.
LESLIE
I know.
MARTHA
And there’s a three hundred dollar penalty for—
LESLIE
All right, Martha. I get it.
She moves around the apartment, sadly. Then turns around—
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Actually, is there any way—
Ben is standing there.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
What?! Hey! I didn’t know you were—
He gets down on one knee. Looks up at her. Takes her hand.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Oh my God. What are you doing?
BEN
Thinking about my future.
He opens a ring box. Leslie GASPS.
BEN (CONT’D)
I am deeply, ridiculously in love with you. Above everything else, I want to be with you, forever. So, Leslie Knope, w—
LESLIE
Wait!!!!!
He freezes . . .
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Just . . . I need to remember this. Just wait a second. Please.
He does.
BEN
. . . Leslie Knope, w—
LESLIE
No no no—hang on. One second longer. Please. I have to remember everything. Every tiny little thing, about how perfect my life is, right now, at this exact moment.
She looks all around. Ben smiles. Waits.
BEN
You good?
LESLIE
I think I am good, yes.
BEN
So, I can . . . ?
LESLIE
Yes. I am ready.
BEN
Leslie Knope, will you—
LESLIE
Yes.
She attacks him and kisses him for a really long time.
BEN
—marry me. Okay good.
They kiss again.
He also wrote these vows in the wedding episode:
TOM
We are gathered here tonight to join Leslie Barbara Knope and Benjamin Walker Wyatt in matrimony. It’s been a long and winding road for these two, and they’re so impatient to begin their lives together, they moved their wedding date up by three months. So I say, let’s keep this short.
ANN
Hear, hear!
TOM
I assume—and hope—they have prepared their own vows. We’ll hear first from Ben.
BEN
In the ten years I worked for the state government, my job sent me to more than fifty cities. I lived in villages with eight people, rural farming communities, college towns—I was sent to every corner of Indiana. And then I came here. And I realized that this whole time, that’s what I was doing—I was just wandering around, everywhere, looking for you.
She smiles and collects herself.
LESLIE
Oh boy. Okay. The first draft of my vows—which I wrote the day after we got
engaged—clocked in at around sixty pages. But I don’t have them with me right now.
There’s a collective sigh of relief from the congregation.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Wait! Maybe I have a copy in my office—
People wince . . .
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Nope. It’s at home.
Relief again.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
So I will just say this. The things you have done for me—to help me, support me, surprise me, and make me happy—go above and beyond what any person deserves. You are all I need. I love you and I like you.
BEN
I love you and I like you.
Do you see the kind of maniac I am working with here? I have been shoulder to shoulder with a wonderful writer and excellent boss who loves big emotion as much as I do. Nightmare!
Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” I’m proud that Mike Schur and I rejected the idea that creativity needs to come from chaos. I like how we ran our writers’ room and our set. People had a great time when they came to work on our show and that mattered to us. I like to think the spirit we had on set found its way onto the show. We used to leave enough time for “fun runs,” improvised last takes where the actors could try out all the brilliant ideas they had been thinking about for the whole scene. Ninety-nine percent of the time these scenes were longer and less funny than what was written. But it made the actors feel funny. It kept the crew laughing and on their toes. It felt fun and alive and warm. Most days I was handed an amazing script that allowed me to stand in front of people I really loved and tell them how much I loved them. I got to work with the best writers and the best directors and the best producers. I won’t miss memorizing those tongue-twisty “talking heads”25 but I will miss everything else. This kind of job is magic. It comes around once or twice in a lifetime if you’re lucky. And thank god, because it’s all-consuming and sometimes work should just be work.
25 Note from Mike: I’ll miss writing them and then watching you try to memorize them. Made for great blooper-reel material.
David Letterman liked the show and I received a steady paycheck for six years. That’s about all you can ask for in life. Anyway, I’ve moved on. I’m working on a new HBO show called Farts and Procreation and it deals with some pretty dark stuff . . . whatever, no big deal.26
26 Note from Mike: I bet you win an Emmy for the role of Detective Janet Toughwoman, Special Ops, Fart Squad Delta.
MY CASTMATES
AND FRIENDS
RASHIDA JONES (ANN PERKINS): Rashida is my old friend and chosen sister. She is my wife for life. I loved the scenes where it was just Ann and Leslie figuring out a problem. I would go sit on a fake apartment set and be friends with Ann and then go sit in my real trailer and be friends with Rashida. It was so easy to play being in love with Ann because next to my mom and my possible future daughter, Rashida Jones is the prettiest person I have ever met. She is also beautiful inside. We had so many deep conversations about our real lives in our fake offices. Rashida can speak on everything from Rodarte to Rodin to Rhodesia. I am so proud of the real friendship that Leslie and Ann had on-screen. It was important to both Rashida and me to show two women who supported each other and seemed like they would actually be friends.
•My favorite moments on set: Rashida and me singing and dancing between takes.
•A lot of people don’t know: Rashida shares my obsession with miniature fake food.
•I laughed the hardest: The time Rashida and I (Ann and Leslie) had to try to pin Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson) down and feed him medicine in the “Hunting Trip” episode.
NICK OFFERMAN (RON SWANSON): I met Nick Offerman in Chicago in 1997. He had dyed his beard bright orange and his hair was shaped into two devil horns. He looked terrifying. He was doing a production of A Clockwork Orange with some cool theater company. Nick has real theater training and complete control over his instrument. This is why Ron Swanson is one of the best characters ever to be on television. He can do stillness like no other. He is incredibly professional but also giggly. We both talk about how much we love our jobs at least five times a day. He adores his wife and takes nothing for granted. He is someone I would run to when the zombies attack because he can build a boat and is great company.
•My favorite moments on set: Blocking scenes with Nick in Ron’s office.
•A lot of people don’t know: Nick is crazy for his two poodles.
•I laughed the hardest: The time Ron Swanson tried to push Leslie up onto a podium while the entire cast was slipping on ice in the episode “The Comeback Kid.”
AZIZ ANSARI (TOM HAVERFORD): Aziz was a UCB wunderkind who had already had his own sketch show, Human Giant, before he joined Parks. He is a keen observer of the human condition and a lot sweeter and quieter than you would imagine. Like Tom Haverford, he is a total foodie and part-time culture vulture. Aziz and I spent a lot of time together building the world of Pawnee in those first couple of seasons. We stood together in a dusty pit and did our first television promos with a bunch of wild raccoons. We once shot a scene where Aziz had to run the length of a golf course and he barely broke a sweat. He has the stride and work ethic of a long-distance runner.
•My favorite moments on set: Hearing my kids call Aziz “turkey sandwich.” I think it’s because he was eating a turkey sandwich once? Either way they think he is hilarious.
•A lot of people don’t know: Aziz went to business school.
•I laughed the hardest: The night Aziz and I spent shooting in a van during the episode “The Stakeout.”
AUBREY PLAZA (APRIL LUDGATE): Aubrey is my devil child and my girlfriend in crime. She will do anything for me, and me for her. She was an NBC page and made up facts during her studio tours. She was an SNL intern and smoked cigarettes with the set painters. Her great work as April Ludgate turned what could have been a one-note performance into a deep character study. Both the character of April and person of Aubrey are secret softies. When I was going through my divorce and sad about coming back to Los Angeles, Aubrey dressed up as an alien and surprised me at the airport. She is a big-hearted warrior and a good and loyal friend. She speaks Spanish and gets the most sleep of anyone on our show.
•My favorite moments on set: Hugging Aubrey and asking her if she was eating enough.
•A lot of people don’t know: Aubrey has a shrine to Judy Garland in her house.
•I laughed the hardest: The scene in the “Two Parties” episode where April discovers that the illuminated penis hat she is wearing is helping her as she digs to bury stolen artifacts.
CHRIS PRATT (ANDY DWYER): Chris had the best audition I had ever seen. No one knew his work and he came in and crushed. He is a comedy savant and a natural actor in a way I have never really seen. Each take is different and hilarious and completely unexpected. His character was only supposed to be on the show for six episodes, which seems ridiculous now. There are long discussions in the writers’ room about how much Andy knows and doesn’t know. Chris is exactly how you would expect him to be in person: friendly, open, and very strong. When we were going through tough times we would text each other, “How’s the weather?” He also likes hunting and country music. I’ve learned a lot from watching him. He constantly reminds me to stay loose and have fun.
•My favorite moments on set: Watching Pratt do physical comedy. Nobody falls like Pratt. Nobody does pratfalls like Pratt falls.
•A lot of people don’t know: Chris actually plays the guitar and has helped write Mouse Rat songs.
•I laughed the hardest: Any time Andy got distracted in the middle of listening to important instructions, like in the episode “The Trial of Leslie Knope.”
ROB LOWE (CHRIS TRAEGER): I can’t believe I am Rob Lowe’s coworker, let alone his friend. For the first few weeks after I met him I hounded him with questions about his movies. The scene when Sodapop comes out of th
e shower in The Outsiders was a very important moment in my adolescence. Rob gives wise advice and loves to talk about show business. He joined the show at a time when our status was very shaky and he helped keep us on the air. He is a committed father and has great wisdom about raising two boys. He delighted in the rigorous physical challenges we put him and his character through. He played Chris Traeger as a wide-eyed lunatic and loved every minute of it.
•My favorite moments on set: When Chris Traeger would have to go from standing still to a full sprint in less than five seconds.
•A lot of people don’t know: We have a nickname for Rob. It’s RoLo, and he loves it.
•I laughed the hardest: When Chris Traeger played “air banjo” in the backseat during the “Road Trip” episode.
RETTA SIRLEAF (DONNA MEAGLE): Retta can sing opera and cry on cue. She is a very warm person who does not suffer fools. The character of Donna Meagle has grown because Retta keeps adding small details in the fine work she does. I love how Donna is the only character who really holds her own against Ron Swanson. I love how she has nothing in common with Leslie Knope but tolerates her anyway. When we were rehearsing in the first few weeks of the show, Greg Daniels had me give a tour of the office and introduce everyone to camera. Retta, whom I barely knew, was sitting at Donna’s station pretending to be on the phone. I came over and checked out the stuff on her desk and noticed a yellow leaf pinned up on a bulletin board behind her. I asked her where it came from and she deadpanned, “Outside.”
•My favorite moments on set: Retta talking about anything she loves or hates.
•A lot of people don’t know: Her aunt is the president of Liberia.
•I laughed the hardest: When Donna Meagle cried after a bullet hit her Benz in the “Hunting Trip” episode.
JIM O’HEIR (GARY/JERRY/LARRY/TERRY GERGICH): The character of Jerry is allowed to be such a loser because Jim the person is such a winner. He is sweet and funny and has the best timing of anyone on our show. He is a fine actor from Chicago who made what could have been a bad one-joke character into someone you root for and against. In real life, teasing him is okay because we all love him. In the show, Gary/Jerry/Larry/Terry is married to Christie Brinkley and has a gigantic penis. He is my parents’ favorite.