CHAPTER FIVE
Taylor walked briskly away from the Redmund building, heading in the opposite direction of the dorms. Given Hannah’s apparent need to be with her at all times and Joseph’s ability to pop up seemingly out of thin air, Taylor was more than a little paranoid that one of them would be following her.
It was only when Taylor could no longer see the Student Life Center behind her that she slowed her pace. She realized that she didn’t know where she was going, and she was nowhere near the path that they had followed on the tour. She didn’t know precisely where she was, so it was unlikely that anyone else did either. Finally alone, she felt the weight of the expectations of strangers evaporate.
She looked around to see if anything looked familiar. In front of her were grey buildings much like her dorms, only shorter and even more drab and depressing, if that were possible. A sign in front indicated that these were the East Side Dormitories. Taylor had only the vaguest sense of where her own dorms were in relationship to where she was standing, but she knew that they were located on the west side of campus. She had managed to cross the entire campus, and now that she stopped to think about it, she realized that her legs were sore.
Taylor found a bench at the edge of the sidewalk and plopped down gracelessly. She thought about how this new life still felt very much unlike real life. This campus world did not exist to her two days ago, and now it was her entire universe. The buildings lacked the familiarity that reassured her that they were there yesterday and would be there tomorrow. Taylor would have accepted her new home without reservation, but she knew firsthand that homes could vanish when you were not expecting.
Taylor reminded herself not to dwell on the past and instead turned her thoughts to the events of the day. She understood where Hannah was coming from, but the brothers were a mystery to Taylor. Especially Joseph, whose intentions she could not decipher. She didn’t believe that Eric was dangerous and would assume some sort of sibling jealousy, but she was absolutely certain that Joseph did not like her, and she couldn’t imagine what he would be jealous of.
Looking at her phone, Taylor saw that an hour had passed since she had left the group, and she remembered that she had told Eric that she would hang out with him that afternoon. Though she was feeling stifled by all three of them before, it wasn’t really Eric’s fault. He had been nothing but nice, and even though some of his ideas weren’t up Taylor’s alley, she didn’t feel pressured by him like she did by Joseph and Hannah when they were all together.
It wouldn’t be fair to stand him up just because Joseph and Hannah didn’t approve, so Taylor got up to try to find her way back to her dorm. She wasn’t really sure where she was going, but she could see the top of the Redmund building. Short of asking a stranger for directions, she decided that keeping the Redmund Center ahead of her as she walked was her best bet. Eventually, she decided, she was bound to recognize something.
A few minutes after getting up, her phone beeped in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw that there were four missed calls: one from Hannah and three from Eric. No voicemails. She couldn’t decide whether three calls from Eric was excessive or flattering, but she did agree to spend time with him after lunch, and here she was. She pressed OK, and another window popped up with a text from Eric.
you OK?
A perfectly nice and pressure-free text, thought Taylor, and she was suddenly embarrassed that she had left so abruptly. She wanted a break from the attention, not more of it, and she realized that her sudden exit probably did not help her cause. If there was a situation brewing, she needed to defuse it. Still, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to jump back into the limelight either. She typed a response.
oh yeah, im fine. sorry... not feeling well
Taylor hit SEND and looked at the message. It was kind of pathetic-sounding. She sent a follow up.
must be the pizza ;-)
The reply came almost instantly.
where ru?
Taylor looked around, still not quite sure where she was besides somewhere on campus. She could still see the Redmund building, so she assumed that she was going in the right direction. She looked around for some indication of where she was besides the top of the Redmund building in the distance, but everything was unfamiliar to her. Since it was the only building she recognized, she continued on after sending a reply to Eric.
getting some rest. can we hang out later?
This time there was no immediate response, so Taylor continued walking in the direction of the Student Life building.
His reply came a few minutes later.
2nite?
Taylor thought about it for a moment. Even though she had just resolved to not stand him up, she found that resolve almost immediately wavering. It might have been in part due to the constant warnings about Eric, but if she were honest with herself, it had as much to do with being nervous about hanging out with a cute guy. She decided on a compromise that would give her room to overcome her nerves without giving in to Joseph and Hannah.
how about tomorrow?
Eric’s reply came immediately this time.
k. will call u
Taylor began to type out something about missing him or seeing him later or looking forward to tomorrow but couldn’t settle on how to sound flirty but not obsessive. She settled with hard-to-get and sent nothing.
Looking up, she realized that she was approaching the dorms. She had been so distracted by the texts and thoughts of Eric that she didn’t notice at first that she had found her way back almost by accident. Glad to be back in more familiar territory, she slipped her phone into her pocket and approached Summers Hall.
When she arrived outside her room, she could hear Hannah talking inside. Taylor couldn’t hear any other voices, so she assumed Hannah was on the phone. Taylor was about to push on the door handle when she heard Hannah say her name. Taylor hesitated for a moment.
Then she heard Hannah say, “I don’t know why she just won’t listen. I just met her.”
The phrase “just won’t listen” stood out to Taylor. Taylor wondered if Hannah was talking about her. She looked around her to see if anyone was in the hall. Satisfied that she was alone, Taylor leaned in to listen through the door. The voice was fading in and out as if Hannah was pacing back and forth. Taylor couldn’t make out every word.
“Yes, I know... it... right... well why don’t you?”
Taylor couldn’t tell what was being said, she wasn’t certain it was even about her, and she was starting to feel self-conscious listening through the door. She was about to stop eavesdropping and enter the room when Hannah raised her voice.
“I don’t care. You need to keep your brother away from my roommate, or I will do it myself!”
Taylor was stunned to hear this. It was pretty clear that Hannah was not particularly enamored of Eric, but she didn’t realize it was this serious, and she certainly wasn’t aware that Hannah somehow saw herself as responsible for controlling who Taylor was allowed to hang out with.
Taylor debated whether or not to enter the room. She was upset, but she didn’t want a confrontation. She had been avoiding confrontations all day, though. If she left now, she’d still have to come back at some point.
“Are you locked out?” came a loud voice behind her.
Taylor jumped. It was Addison.
“Just looking for my key,” Taylor said and then shuffled around in her pocket for a moment before holding a key up to Addison’s face.
“Oh, here it is!” Taylor said, trying to appear nonchalant.
Addison just grunted at her and walked away.
Taylor nervously inserted the key into the door, but it swung open without her touch. Hannah was standing on the other side looking concerned. She must have heard Addison, thought Taylor. Taylor pushed past her without a word and flung herself face first onto her bed. For several minutes, neither said anything until Hannah broke the silence.
“So...”
Taylor waited for her to continue, but Hannah d
idn't say anything further. Instead, Hannah looked around the room, apparently carefully counting the cracks in the painted cinderblock walls. After several more minutes of this, Taylor decided to get to the point.
“So who were you talking to?” Taylor asked.
Hannah regarded her for a moment and then answered, “Joseph.”
“About?”
“Look Taylor, I know what it sounds like and I’m really, really sorry. Please believe that I’m on your side here,” Hannah pleaded.
“And my side is not pro-Eric, I take it?”
Hannah looked down at her feet. “I know, it’s none of my business. I just get a really bad feeling about him. Like, sick to my stomach bad.”
Taylor made an exaggerated display of rolling her eyes.
“Well, apparently you and Joseph are on the same page then. You must both think I’m helpless.”
“Well...” Hannah began.
“And,” Taylor interjected, “you are so convinced that I am incapable of choosing my friends that you have to step in to choose them for me?”
“No, it’s not that...”
“AND,” Taylor interrupted again, raising her voice slightly, “you are not just content to choose my friends, you then feel justified to go behind my back and sabotage any friendships that don’t meet the high standards of your stomach. Is that right?”
“I’m sorry.” Hannah sounded defeated.
Taylor was primed for an argument, but Hannah’s simple apology took the wind out of her sails. Still, Taylor was determined to be righteously indignant, even if only for the principle of it, and she wasn’t ready to concede. After knowing Taylor for only 24 hours, Hannah had inserted herself into Taylor’s relationships behind her back, and Taylor felt justified in being upset. A nagging voice urged her to consider Hannah’s good intentions, but at the moment that tiny voice could not make itself heard over her anger.
“I’m sorry, but that’s not enough. I’ve just met you, I’m supposed to live with you, and I already can’t trust you,” said Taylor.
“I know. I understand if you’re upset.”
“If?”
“I know you’re upset, and you are justified. Can I make it up to you?”
Taylor paused for a moment. Could she? Taylor wondered.
“I don’t know," said Taylor. "Can we just take a break? I need to get this knife out of my back and calm down.”
Hannah grimaced at the word "knife".
Seriously, Taylor thought to herself. Calm down. She had been more anxious in the past 24 hours than she could recall ever being. Perhaps she was taking everything too seriously, she thought. Perhaps well-intentioned friends deserved some benefit of the doubt.
“Okay,” said Hannah. “Thanks for at least considering it. Do you want me to give you some space?”
“You can stay,” Taylor said, still angry, but with the edge gone from her voice.
Hannah considered Taylor for a moment.
“I’ll go,” Hannah said and then silently left the room.
Hannah had only been gone for a few minutes when Taylor heard a knock on the door. The dorm room doors did not have peepholes, so Taylor was surprised to find Joseph standing on the other side. From the look on Joseph’s face, it was clear that he wasn’t expecting Taylor either.
“Is Hannah here?” Joseph asked, peering over Taylor’s shoulder to look into the room behind her. In contrast to his normal coolly-aloof exterior, Joseph appeared visibly distressed.
“She just left.”
“What happened?” His eyes were scanning the room behind Taylor.
“I caught her talking to you about me and Eric, and she left. If that’s what you’re asking."
“So he wasn’t here?”
“Eric? No. You should try your place."
“Where did she go? Was she looking for him?” Joseph’s voice raised in concern.
Taylor felt a tinge of sympathy for Eric. As overbearing as she felt Joseph was towards her, at least she didn’t have to worry about him going door to door to track her down. Being related to Joseph must be unbearable, she thought.
“I don’t know where she went,” Taylor answered.
“But was she going to find Eric?”
“I don’t know where she went, or why. Given the conversation you two were having, it wouldn’t surprise me.”
Joseph appeared to think for a moment and then said, “Let me in.”
“No." Joseph ignored her and pushed past her into the room. “HEY! I said, no!”
“Oh, did you?” Joseph looked genuinely surprised. “You say that a lot.”
“You ask for it a lot.”
Taylor stared directly at Joseph and made it clear from her expression that he was not welcome. Joseph seemed unaware of her hostility and made no motions towards leaving, so Taylor stood in the doorway. She had resolved to keep an escape route available whenever she was around him.
“So, you heard our conversation then?” he asked.
“I did.”
Joseph appeared to be waiting for her to elaborate, but she just kept returning his stare.
“What did you hear?” he asked, breaking the silence.
“I heard most of it, and what I didn’t hear, Hannah filled in the rest,” Taylor lied.
“Oh.” Joseph stared down at his feet. “No wonder you don’t want me in here.”
Taylor didn’t want Joseph in her room because he was creepy, overbearing, and possibly a stalker. She wondered why he thought that she didn’t want him there.
“I get it. I’ll go then,” Joseph said and moved towards the door.
Since Joseph believed that she knew more than she did, Taylor was determined to use this to press for more information.
“Hold on,” Taylor said, moving to block his access to the hallway. “I think after that conversation you owe me an explanation.”
Taylor crossed her arms and tried to look impassable. Joseph regarded her with a quizzical look but did not attempt to leave.
“Well, what did Hannah tell you?” he asked.
Taylor had hoped that he would just start talking. All she knew was that he and Hannah both felt strongly that Eric was not good for her, but she really didn’t know anything beyond that. Still, she was determined to press for more.
“Well, she explained why Eric was so dangerous...”
Joseph let out a sigh.
“But I’m going to be honest,” she continued. “You seem more dangerous than he is.”
“We’re all dangerous. It’s really a question of intentions. Eric doesn’t care about anything but what he can get away with. So he’s dangerous.”
This sounded to Taylor like generic “boys are trouble” talk. She assumed that there must be something more. Perhaps a criminal past? Trouble in school?
“So what does he think he can get away with?” she asked.
“With you? I’m not sure. Usually vampires can be very persuasive, but you don’t seem to be affected by us."
Taylor wasn’t sure how to respond to this. She had no idea what he meant by vampires. Was that a goth fad? A cult thing? She was about to ask but reminded herself that she was supposed to already know all this since Hannah had supposedly told her everything.
“And why do you think that is?” Taylor asked.
Joseph shrugged. “I don’t know. This is a first for us. Usually people just listen.”
As Joseph said “just listen,” Taylor was reminded of the phone conversation she had overheard between Joseph and Hannah. All that Taylor could gather from Joseph was that he saw himself and Eric as a part of some secret clique that referred to themselves as vampires who were enamored of their own persuasive abilities. It all sounded creepy, out of touch with reality, and not at all square with her image of Eric. Or Hannah, for that matter, who apparently was connected in some way to the brothers, or at least to Joseph.
As Taylor tried to reconcile this with her perception of Eric, she realized that she was engaging Joseph on h
is own terms and falling in line with his Eric-free agenda for her. Still, she resolved to be cautious about approaching Eric. If there was any potential danger, then she should be prepared. As any single young women would, she told herself. Though all the evidence so far suggested that it was Joseph who should be avoided, not Eric.
“So why can’t I just keep not listening?” she asked.
“That only works if he takes ‘no’ for an answer.”
“So you’re saying he would force himself on me?”
“I’d prefer it if you didn’t tempt him."
This statement sounded like victim-blaming to her. As though if Eric acted on his desire for her, then it would be her fault for being too desirable. She was convinced now more than ever that if she was going to take sides here, she was going to side with Eric. Joseph was already creepy. Now he was sounding sexist.
“I’ll try to control my feminine charms,” she said.
“Being female is only half your problem.”
“And the other half?”
“Being alive,” he said without an indication of what that was supposed to mean.
Taylor decided that she didn’t want to know what that meant. Whatever Joseph was thinking, she was pretty sure she did not see things the same way.
“Well, there’s nothing that can be done about either half,” she said. “So while your concern is well-noted, I think I will just have to muddle through.”
Joseph just looked at her for a moment.
“You don’t take this seriously,” he said. He wasn’t asking; this was a statement.
“I take this very seriously, which is why I would like you to leave now."
“Fine. You don’t know where Hannah went?” he asked again, pausing in the doorway beside her.
“Nope,” she replied and slammed the door behind him as he left.