young person would be an asset,not only in the struggle for bare survival, but in the resumed waragainst Communism which some of the Committee members still counted on.
It was natural that they should view a sterile woman with disfavor, andnot only because of the waste of her husband's germ-plasm, but becausesterility might indicate that she had suffered more than the averagefrom radiation. In that case, if she did bear children later on, theywould be more apt to carry a defective heredity, producing an unduenumber of monsters and freaks in future generations, and socontaminating the race.
Of course she understood it. She could hardly remember the time when shedidn't. Years ago? Centuries? There wasn't much difference in a placewhere time was endless.
* * * * *
His lecture finished, her husband smiled and grew almost cheerful.
"Now that you're going to have a child, that's all in the backgroundagain. Do you know, Effie, that when I first came in, I had some verygood news for you? I'm to become a member of the Junior Committee andthe announcement will be made at the banquet tonight." He cut short hermumbled congratulations. "So brighten yourself up and put on your bestdress. I want the other Juniors to see what a handsome wife the newmember has got." He paused. "Well, get a move on!"
She spoke with difficulty, still not looking at him. "I'm terriblysorry, Hank, but you'll have to go alone. I'm not well."
He straightened up with an indignant jerk. "There you go again! Firstthat infantile, inexcusable business of the shutters, and now this! Nofeeling for my reputation at all. Don't be ridiculous, Effie. You'recoming!"
"Terribly sorry," she repeated blindly, "but I really can't. I'd just besick. I wouldn't make you proud of me at all."
"Of course you won't," he retorted sharply. "As it is, I have to spendhalf my energy running around making excuses for you--why you're so odd,why you always seem to be ailing, why you're always stupid and snobbishand say the wrong thing. But tonight's really important, Effie. It willcause a lot of bad comment if the new member's wife isn't present. Youknow how just a hint of sickness starts the old radiation-disease rumorgoing. You've _got_ to come, Effie."
She shook her head helplessly.
"Oh, for heaven's sake, come on!" he shouted, advancing on her. "This isjust a silly mood. As soon as you get going, you'll snap out of it.There's nothing really wrong with you at all."
He put his hand on her shoulder to turn her around, and at his touch herface suddenly grew so desperate and gray that for a moment he wasalarmed in spite of himself.
"Really?" he asked, almost with a note of concern.
She nodded miserably.
"Hmm!" He stepped back and strode about irresolutely. "Well, of course,if that's the way it is ..." He checked himself and a sad smile crossedhis face. "So you don't care enough about your old husband's success tomake one supreme effort in spite of feeling bad?"
Again the helpless headshake. "I just can't go out tonight, under anycircumstances." And her gaze stole toward the lead shutters.
He was about to say something when he caught the direction of her gaze.His eyebrows jumped. For seconds he stared at her incredulously, as ifsome completely new and almost unbelievable possibility had popped intohis mind. The look of incredulity slowly faded, to be replaced by aharder, more calculating expression. But when he spoke again, his voicewas shockingly bright and kind.
"Well, it can't be helped naturally, and I certainly wouldn't want youto go if you weren't able to enjoy it. So you hop right into bed and geta good rest. I'll run over to the men's dorm to freshen up. No, really,I don't want you to have to make any effort at all. Incidentally, JimBarnes isn't going to be able to come to the banquet either--touch ofthe old 'flu, he tells me, of all things."
He watched her closely as he mentioned the other man's name, but shedidn't react noticeably. In fact, she hardly seemed to be hearing hischatter.
"I got a bit sharp with you, I'm afraid, Effie," he continuedcontritely. "I'm sorry about that. I was excited about my new job and Iguess that was why things upset me. Made me feel let down when I foundyou weren't feeling as good as I was. Selfish of me. Now you get intobed right away and get well. Don't worry about me a bit. I know you'dcome if you possibly could. And I know you'll be thinking about me.Well, I must be off now."
He started toward her, as if to embrace her, then seemed to think betterof it. He turned back at the doorway and said, emphasizing the words,"You'll be completely alone for the next four hours." He waited for hernod, then bounced out.
* * * * *
She stood still until his footsteps died away. Then she straightened up,walked over to where he'd put down the wristwatch, picked it up andsmashed it hard on the floor. The crystal shattered, the case flewapart, and something went _zing!_
She stood there breathing heavily. Slowly her sagged features lifted,formed themselves into the beginning of a smile. She stole another lookat the shutters. The smile became more definite. She felt her hair, wether fingers and ran them along her hairline and back over her ears.After wiping her hands on her apron, she took it off. She straightenedher dress, lifted her head with a little flourish, and stepped smartlytoward the window.
Then her face went miserable again and her steps slowed.
No, it couldn't be, and it won't be, she told herself. It had been justan illusion, a silly romantic dream that she had somehow projected outof her beauty-starved mind and given a moment's false reality. Therecouldn't be anything alive outside. There hadn't been for two wholeyears.
And if there conceivably were, it would be something altogetherhorrible. She remembered some of the pariahs--hairless, witlesscreatures, with radiation welts crawling over their bodies like worms,who had come begging for succor during the last months of theTerror--and been shot down. How they must have hated the people inrefuges!
But even as she was thinking these things, her fingers were caressingthe bolts, gingerly drawing them, and she was opening the shuttersgently, apprehensively.
No, there couldn't be anything outside, she assured herself wryly,peering out into the green night. Even her fears had been groundless.
But the face came floating up toward the window. She started back interror, then checked herself.
For the face wasn't horrible at all, only very thin, with full lips andlarge eyes and a thin proud nose like the jutting beak of a bird. And noradiation welts or scars marred the skin, olive in the temperedmoonlight. It looked, in fact, just as it had when she had seen it thefirst time.
For a long moment the face stared deep, deep into her brain. Then thefull lips smiled and a half-clenched, thin-fingered hand materializeditself from the green darkness and rapped twice on the grimy pane.
Her heart pounding, she furiously worked the little crank that openedthe window. It came unstuck from the frame with a tiny explosion of dustand a _zing_ like that of the watch, only louder. A moment later itswung open wide and a puff of incredibly fresh air caressed her face andthe inside of her nostrils, stinging her eyes with unanticipated tears.
The man outside balanced on the sill, crouching like a faun, head high,one elbow on knee. He was dressed in scarred, snug trousers and an oldsweater.
"Is it tears I get for a welcome?" he mocked her gently in a musicalvoice. "Or are those only to greet God's own breath, the air?"
* * * * *
He swung down inside and now she could see he was tall. Turning, hesnapped his fingers and called, "Come, puss."
A black cat with a twisted stump of a tail and feet like small boxinggloves and ears almost as big as rabbits' hopped clumsily in view. Helifted it down, gave it a pat. Then, nodding familiarly to Effie, heunstrapped a little pack from his back and laid it on the table.
She couldn't move. She even found it hard to breathe.
"The window," she finally managed to get out.
He looked at her inquiringly, caught the direction of her stabbingfinger. Moving without haste
, he went over and closed it carelessly.
"The shutters, too," she told him, but he ignored that, looking around.
"It's a snug enough place you and your man have," he commented. "Or isit that this is a free-love town or a harem spot, or just a militarypost?" He checked her before she could answer. "But let's not betalking about such things now. Soon enough I'll be scared to death forboth of us. Best enjoy the kick of meeting, which is always good fortwenty minutes at the least." He smiled at her rather shyly. "Have youfood? Good, then bring it."
She set cold meat and some precious canned bread before him and