duty, when I was laying all mybloody schemes for the destruction of innocent creatures, I meaninnocent as to me; as to the crimes they were guilty of towards oneanother, I had nothing to do with them; they were national punishmentsto make a just retribution for national offences; and to bring publicjudgments upon those who offend in a public manner, by such ways as bestplease God.
This appeared so clear to me now, that nothing was a greatersatisfaction to me, than that I had not been suffered to do a thingwhich I now saw so much reason to believe would have been no less a sinthan that of wilful murder, if I had committed it; and I gave mosthumble thanks on my knees to God, that had thus delivered me fromblood-guiltiness; beseeching him to grant me the protection of hisProvidence, that I might not fall into the hands of barbarians; or thatI might not lay my hands upon them, unless I had a more clear call fromHeaven to do it, in defence of my own life.
In this disposition I continued for near a year after this: and so farwas I from desiring an occasion for falling upon these wretches, that inall that time I never once went up the hill to see whether there wereany of them in sight, or to know whether any of them had been on shorethere, or not; that I might not be tempted to renew any of mycontrivances against them, or be provoked, by any advantage which mightpresent itself, to fall upon them; only this I did, I went and removedmy boat, which I had on the other side of the island, and carried itdown to the east end of the whole island, where I ran it into a littlecove which I found under some high rocks, and where I knew, by reason ofthe currents, the savages durst not, at least would not, come with theirboats upon any account whatsoever.
With my boat I carried away every thing that I had left there belongingto her, though not necessary for the bare going thither; viz. a mast andsail, which I had made for her, and a thing like an anchor, but indeedwhich could not be called either anchor or grappling; however, it wasthe best I could make of its kind. All these I removed, that there mightnot be the least shadow of any discovery, or any appearance of any boat,or of any habitation upon the island.
Besides this, I kept myself, as I said, more retired than ever, andseldom went from my cell, other than upon my constant employment, viz.to milk my she-goats, and manage my little flock in the wood, which, asit was quite on the other part of the island, was quite out of danger:for certain it is, that these savage people, who sometimes haunted thisisland, never came with any thoughts of finding any thing here, andconsequently never wandered off from the coast; and I doubt not but theymight have been several times on shore, after my apprehensions of themhad made me cautious, as well as before; and indeed I looked back withsome horror upon the thoughts of what my condition would have been, if Ihad chopped upon them, and been discovered before that, when naked andunarmed, except with one gun, and that loaded often only with smallshot. I walked every where, peeping and peering about the island, to seewhat I could get: what a surprise should I have been in, if, when Idiscovered the print of a man's foot, I had instead of that seen fifteenor twenty savages, and found them pursuing me, and, by the swiftness oftheir running, no possibility of my escaping them!
The thoughts of this sometimes sunk my very soul within me, anddistressed my mind so much, that I could not soon recover it; to thinkwhat I should have done, and how I not only should not have been able toresist them, but even should not have had presence of mind enough to dowhat I might have done; much less what now, after so much considerationand preparation, I might be able to do. Indeed, after serious thinkingof these things, I would be very melancholy, and sometimes it would lasta great while; but I resolved it at last all into thankfulness to thatProvidence which had delivered me from so many unseen dangers, and hadkept me from those mischiefs, which I could no way have been the agentin delivering myself from; because I had not the least notion of anysuch thing depending, or the least supposition of its being possible.
This renewed a contemplation, which often had come to my thoughts informer time, when first I began to see the merciful dispositions ofHeaven, in the dangers we run through in this life; how wonderfully weare delivered when we know nothing of it: how, when we are in aquandary, (as we call it) a doubt or hesitation, whether to go this way,or that way, a secret hint shall direct us this way, when we intended togo another way; nay, when sense, our own inclination, and perhapsbusiness, has called to go the other way, yet a strange impression uponthe mind, from we know not what springs, and by we know not what power,shall over-rule us to go this way; and it shall afterwards appear, thathad we gone that way which we would have gone, and even to ourimagination ought to have gone, we should have been ruined and lost;upon these, and many like reflections, I afterwards made it a certainrule with me, that whenever I found those secret hints, or pressings ofmy mind, to doing or not doing any thing that presented, or to goingthis way or that way, I never failed to obey the secret dictate; thoughI new no other reason for it, than that such a pressure, or such anhint, hung upon my mind: I could give many examples of the success ofthis conduct in the course of my life; but more especially in the latterpart of my inhabiting this unhappy island; besides many occasions whichit is very likely I might have taken notice of, if I had seen with thesame eyes then that I saw with now: but 'tis never too late to be wise;and I cannot but advise all considering men, whose lives are attendedwith such extraordinary incidents as mine, or even though not soextraordinary, not to slight such secret intimations of Providence, letthem come from what invisible intelligence they will; that I shall notdiscuss, and perhaps cannot account for; but certainly they are a proofof the converse of spirits, and the secret communication between thoseembodied, and those unembodied; and such a proof as can never bewithstood: of which I shall have occasion to give some very remarkableinstances, in the remainder of my solitary residence in thisdismal place.
I believe the reader of this will not think it strange, if I confessthat these anxieties, these constant dangers I lived in, and the concernthat was now upon me, put an end to all invention, and to all thecontrivances that I had laid for my future accommodations andconveniences. I had the care of my safety more now upon my hands thanthat of my food. I cared not to drive a nail, or chop a stick of woodnow, for fear the noise I should make should be heard; much less would Ifire a gun, for the same reason; and, above all, I was very uneasy atmaking any fire, lest the smoke, which is visible at a great distance inthe day, should betray me; and for this reason I removed that part of mybusiness which required fire, such as burning of pots and pipes, &c.into my new apartment in the wood; where, after I had been some time, Ifound, to my unspeakable consolation, a mere natural cave in the earth,which went in a vast way, and where, I dare say, no savage, had he beenat the mouth of it, would be so hardy as to venture in, nor indeed wouldany man else, but one who, like me, wanted nothing so much as asafe retreat.
The mouth of this hollow was at the bottom of a great rock, where, bymere accident, (I would say, if I did not see an abundant reason toascribe all such things now to Providence,) I was cutting down somethick branches of trees to make charcoal; and before I go on, I mustobserve the reason of my making this charcoal, which was thus:
I was afraid of making a smoke about my habitation, as I said before;and yet I could not live there without baking my bread, cooking my meat,&c.; so I contrived to burn some wood here, as I had seen done inEngland under turf, till it became chark, or dry coal; and then puttingthe fire out, I preserved the coal to carry home, and perform the otherservices, which fire was wanting for at home, without danger or smoke.
But this by the by: while I was cutting down some wood here, I perceivedthat behind a very thick branch of low brushwood, or underwood, therewas a kind of hollow place: I was curious to look into it, and gettingwith difficulty into the mouth of it, I found it was pretty large, thatis to say, sufficient for me to stand upright in it, and perhaps anotherwith me; but I must confess to you, I made more haste out than I did in,when, looking further into the place, which was perfectly dark, I sawtwo broad shining eyes of some creature, whether devil or man I k
newnot, which twinkled like two stars, the dim light from the cave's mouthshining directly in and making the reflection.
However, after some pause, I recovered myself, and began to call myselfa thousand fools, and tell myself, that he that was afraid to see thedevil, was not fit to live twenty years in an island all alone, and thatI durst to believe there was nothing in this cave that was morefrightful than myself: upon this, plucking up my courage, I took up alarge firebrand, and in I rushed again, with the stick flaming in myhand: I had not gone three steps in, but I was almost as much frightenedas I was before; for I heard a very loud sigh, like that of a man insome pain; and it was followed by a broken noise, as if of wordshalf-expressed, and then a deep sigh again: I stepped back, and wasindeed struck with such a surprise, that it put me into a cold sweat;and if I had had an hat on my head, I will not answer for it that myhair might not have lifted it off. But still plucking up my spirits aswell as I could, and