28.
It was something that quietly snuck up on Emily. One day things were normal, the next they weren’t. She’d got a crush on Azziz. She’d always liked him, well most of the time anyway. He was good company and there was something of a dear devil about him. He was hot when he was human and quite tidy as an anode too. They were good friends, but suddenly there was something more, well on Emily’s side anyway. She thought about him all of the time, like couldn’t get him out of her head. She had daydreams about him and dreamt at night about him; it was like he had a hold on her. Emily couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore and blushed and stammered when she was in his company. If their eyes did meet, she come over all funny and started thinking babies!
She thought of asking Zeus if she could see Dr Florence but canned the idea. Dr Florence was very Victorian and might flip out and Zeus was funny about his sons. So Emily watched Earth through the Worm. She watched thirteen year old girls. It was easy to spot the ones who were in love; they acted dopey and had purply-pink halos. Some of the girls were in love with boys on tele or rock stars; daft or what? It wasn’t very practical! Others were in love but never let on. Others had a boyfriend and held hands and kissed, and some went a bit further.
Sometimes the boys were just as in love as the girls, but not always. Some boys were tarts and hung around with lots of girls but didn’t care about any of them. Some girls were like that too.
Emily fancied Azziz, but when she really thought about it, and she didn’t have to think too hard, he was a tart. He flitted from girl to girl. He liked them, he had fun with them, he slept with them but he didn’t really care about them. Emily knew she was a girl whose heart would get stuck on one boy, like she still really, really liked Zula. But it didn’t stop her having a crush on Azziz, even if he wasn’t her type.
There was an age difference too. Azziz was 2324 years old, which gave an age difference of 2311 years. Emily had trouble getting her head around that. She couldn’t get her head around it because she was too busy thinking about him, all of the time.
She went and shyly asked Castor.
‘Castor,’ she said, ‘I’ve got a problem.’
Castor smiled and blushed a little, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you; there is no cure. With people it either gradually fades away or you get a crush on someone else.’
‘How long does it take to fade?’
‘It varies from about three months to a lifetime, usually three to six months.’
‘Thanks Castor,’ said Emily, giving him a kiss and disappearing.
‘Three months of this,’ said Emily, looking despairingly at the girl in the mirror. ‘Oh no!’
It didn’t take three months, it took much longer.
Emily was keeping an eye on Annie; she had gone from sad to sadder. She had no friends and never smiled. She’d even gone off her food. One rainy day, with Annie crying at her graveside, it all became too much; Emily couldn’t bear it any more. She clicked her fingers. The biggest, loudest click she could muster.
Zimp!
Annie arrived in a heap on her front lawn. She picked herself up and looked around with a surprised look on her face. She walked over to Emily and stood there staring at her. You could almost see the cogs turning.
‘Annie,’ said Emily, quietly.
‘Emily!’ she shouted, and gave Emily a big, bone crushing hug.
‘But you’re dead! Where are we? What’s going on?’
‘I’ll get us a hot choccy,’ said Emily, and leaving Annie sitting in the sun on the comfy sofa, went inside and made two hot chocolates, putting a slug of whiskey in Annie’s.
She looked like she needed something strong.
They sat on the sofa and sipped their drinks, not saying anything for a few minutes.
Then Annie asked, ‘Is this heaven?’
‘There is no heaven. This is an asteroid.’
‘How did you get here?’
‘Um, um,’ stammered Emily, not knowing where to start. ‘God bought me here. I’m his assistant.’
‘So it’s not heaven but God hangs out here.’
‘Yes.’
‘And you help God?’
‘Yes. I don’t see him very often though.’
‘It’s a funny place with all these moons and the stars out even though it’s day. It’s like it can’t make its mind up.’
‘I suppose it can’t. I don’t notice any more.’
They sat in silence for a while.
‘You looked so sad,’ said Emily.
‘I know you watch the grave,’ said Annie. ‘Funny things happen there. Nice things, like you care.’
‘We can see everything.’
‘Everything?’ asked Annie, looking a little embarrassed.
‘Everything!’
Scruff came running up, tail wagging, delighted to see Annie. He jumped up on her and gave her big slobbery licks.
‘Get off, get off!’ she said, pushing him away, then seeing that it was Scruff said, ‘Oh Scruff, lovely to see you. Everyone was so sad when you got run over.’ He jumped up and licked her again. ‘Get off, you mangy mutt!’
Once Scruff had calmed down and sat wagging his tail under the table, Annie said, ‘I’ve been so sad. The doctor tried to give me happy pills but they just made me feel worse, like bland and boring, with no emotion. I used to be such a happy thing but after those men took you, my smiles went away. I ran away, I abandoned you.’
‘You had to run; there was no point of both of us getting taken. Look at this,’ said Emily sweeping her hand around the view. ‘Things aren’t too bad for me.’
‘It’s beautiful,’ said Annie.
‘Anyway you looked so sad; I thought you might like to visit.’
‘I’m so happy to see you,’ said Annie, giving Emily a hug.
‘Great, hang out with me for a while.’
Annie hung out for a while.
They talked, they walked, they swam in the cold water, they hung out in Azziz’s cafe, they went exploring until they found Trigger then rode him back, and they did handstands in the pouring rain. Annie started smiling again and she got a crush on Azziz.
‘All the girls like him,’ said Emily, trying not to let on.
‘You like him, I can tell!’
‘Well maybe a bit.’
‘A little bit?’
‘Just a little bit,’ said Emily, going pink.
After about a week, Emily said, ‘Annie, your parents are getting really worried. The police had a quick look but told them that hundreds of thirteen year old girls run away each year. All they did was to put out a missing persons alert out on you.’
‘I had better go back,’ said Annie. ‘What’ll I tell them?’
‘If you say you visited God’s assistant, Emily who lives on an asteroid called Camillo, they’ll lock you up and throw away the key. Say you ran away and refuse to talk about it. Be a snotty teenager.’
‘I’m good at that!’
‘Good. Give us a big hug then, and don’t get sad again.’
‘Thanks Em, it’s been the best week ever!’
They gave each other a long hug then Annie walked out onto the lawn for a last look at the view.
Emily clicked her fingers.
Snap!
Zeus and Emily decided to go sailing again on the first of May. This time they made a two day voyage, circumnavigating the Ocean. It was chaos in the boat because Scruff came along. He wasn’t one to sit still, and try as he might, he couldn’t leave Negrita alone. It was cagoon versus dog, in a ten foot dinghy with the mast, sails, ropes, the centre board and rudder, the fishing line, Zeus and Emily, and their picnic in it.
They caught lots of fish and found beautiful beaches that no one had ever set foot on before. By the time they got back, four days after setting off, Scruff and Negrita had reached an uneasy truce.