out with the girl last night?"
This instantly brought a smile to his face. "It's official. Her mother has even given us her blessing."
Lily grinned and stuck a Disc into the computer tray. "In that case, no matter how much trouble you have with this, Ian, I hereby declare you to be officially not stupid." The words 8th Grade Algebra and Geometry appeared on the monitor.
What he previously found daunting, Ian now found amusing. "Rita sucks at this stuff too. She has a friend that does her math homework for her in exchange for history."
"Nobody is good at everything." Lily leaned back in her chair. "Grab hold of that mouse, Ian, and let's see if we can somehow get any part of this to sink in."
1:15 pm
Ian cycled over to the school to pick up Rita's tape. He thought about the fact that ordinarily, he would be in the middle of 5th period math right now, completely wasting his time. Ian felt he at least had made some progress today, though the pythagorean theorem still eluded him. He picked the tape up from the principal's office and headed out to the Hasting school, where he would spend about a half-hour, before taking the tape to Rita's. Unknown to him, Phoebe, who sat near the window in math, happened to catch a glimpse of him leaving the school, holding the video. She thought to herself, could it possibly be...?
1:35 pm
Ian paddled up to the schoolyard gate, and was greeted warmly as usual.
"You look pretty bruised up," observed Polo. "What happened?
"This morning, I was trying to do that thing you guys were doing..."
"What 'thing' would that be?" asked Sonia.
"The thing where you've got one foot on a front peg while you hold the seat..." Ian tried to demonstrate, but as usual, the bike slipped out from under him.
"Was this what you were trying to do?" asked Polo, as he gave an effortless demonstration.
"Yeah, that's it." Ian got up and dusted himself off.
"That's called a steamroller," said Sonia. "It really isn't all that difficult, once you know where to put your weight."
"Alright," Ian picked up his bike. "Tell me what I'm doing wrong..."
For the next half-hour Polo, Sonia and Freddy gave Ian a crash course in steamrolling. As always, he thanked them for their time and effort, then rode off to meet his girlfriend.
2:25 pm
He arrived at Rita's house, and was greeted at the door with an enormous kiss, which would pretty much be the standard ritual for the rest of the week. Rita asked him why he was somewhat bruised up, but he declined to answer. He wanted to make sure that he had completely mastered at least a few tricks on his bike, before letting anybody from Alamanda middle school know about his little daily excursions to Hasting, let alone his girlfriend. For the next three hours, the two of them would sit and watch the tape of what went on in the classrooms that day, with Ian taking notes. All morning long, Mrs. Hammond had been tending to Rita's needs any way she could, helping her eat, wash up, brush her hair, scratch her itches, whatever. Needless to say, she was more than delighted to have Ian come in every afternoon and relieve her of those duties. It was a win-win situation.
5:05 pm
They went out in the backyard, and laid back on the grassy hill like they had done the previous evening. It wasn't completely dark yet, so they were able to revel in the sunset.
"This is my favorite time of the day," said Rita, who was in somewhat of a poetic mood. "Cinematographers call it the witching hour. The sky, and everything around you turns into a very pastel lavender grey, and the clouds turn pink. I always try to be outside around this time. Looking up at the sky is humbling. It reminds me of how insignificant I really am."
This inspired Ian to utter a half-serious wisecrack. "Clearly you can see how that feeling would be much more of a novelty for you, than it is for me."
She continued, "For me, spiritual nourishment comes from the cosmos, not from sitting in pews, surrounded by man-made stained glass windows." "Ian, have you ever experienced a moment when you've felt like there's more to life than just the tangible?"
"You know, I want to answer yes in the worst way, but that would be a big lie. And I promise I'm never going to lie to you again."
This caught Rita's attention. "When did you ever lie to me before?"
"A couple of days ago, when I was trying to cheer you up. Remember how I told you about my folks taking me to see Swan Lake?"
"So they never really took you to see Swan Lake?"
"Oh they took me alright. It's the part about crying in the bathroom that I made up. Actually, I nodded off about fifteen minutes into it. That Tchaikovsky is almost as boring as Mayor." He got up on his elbows and looked at her. "Rita, the reality of the matter is, I've never had a single paranormal experience in my life. I've never seen a UFO, I've never seen Bigfoot, I've never seen the Loch Ness Monster, I've never seen shadow people out of the corner of my eye, I've never seen any little black-eyed kids following me around, I've never..."
"Alright, I get the idea. I take comfort in knowing that my boyfriend has no schizophrenic tendencies. We just need to work a little on your skills as a romanticist."
Ian laid back down. "In my darkest hours...which basically means every moment up until a couple of days ago...The only thing that ever gave me any peace was the pride I took in knowing what is and isn't real. Most people take comfort in prayer. As far as I'm concerned, praying is just a pompous word for talking to an imaginary friend."
"You know Ian, I believe that for people our age, sexual intercourse is thoroughly inappropriate."
Ian paused briefly and then deadpanned, "I reserve my comment."
Rita was now sporting an ear-to-ear grin. "As a matter of fact, yes I am. Somehow, you're relentless cynicism never ceases to amuse me."
"Well, I don't have one. I agree with you. At our age, sex in the biblical sense would not be wise."
"That's a pretty parochial attitude for an Atheist."
Ian sat up on his elbows again. "Now let me set the record straight, here. This has nothing to do with religion. It has everything to do with logic. Sex-ed was probably the only class I was able to stay awake in last year. First of all, there's the issue of unwanted pregnancy, and secondly, there's the fact that you probably wouldn't enjoy it."
"Why do you think I wouldn't enjoy it?"
Ian rolled his eyes. "Alright, if you want to get technical, I was taught that at your age, the vaginal cavity isn't quite elastic enough to comfortably accommodate moving foreign objects. If we were to engage in that sort of activity, it would more than likely be very painful for you. The last thing I ever want to do is to cause you pain."
Rita chuckled. "Well thank you very much for teaching me about the elasticity of my vaginal cavity, Dr. Ian...And then of course, there's also the issue of spreading communicable diseases."
"Oh get real. Obviously neither of us has to worry about that." Ian laid back down on the grass. "By any chance, is there some reason that you chose this particular moment to raise this issue?"
“ I reserve my comment.”
9:09 pm
Rita's cell phone rang. talking into it was a bit of an ordeal with her cast. It involved first opening it, then laying it down on the bed, then kneeling next to the bed and resting her head on it sideways.
"Hello?"
"Rita, it's me, Phoebe."
"Hey, what's up?"
"How're you adjusting to the cast?"
"It's been a little inconvenient to say the least, but I'm learning to take it in stride."
"I've got a question to ask. I've noticed a video camera in Mrs. Pinny's class. Is sociology being taped for you?"
"Yup. I receive it every day, along with my 1st, 2nd and 4th period classes as well. Mr. Raoul says it's now standar
d procedure. If they know a student is going to be absent for a week or more, they tape every class except gym and the elective. Since they just use the same tapes over and over, it doesn't even cost anything."
"Listen, I've got to ask you something. When it arrives at your house, does it just get dropped off in the mailbox, or does somebody knock on your door and hand it to you?"
Rita had a feeling where this conversation was heading, and answered cautiously. "Actually, somebody knocked on the door and handed it to my mom. Why do you ask?"
"I was in math today, and just happened to be looking out the window. I saw something potentially disturbing."
"What was that?"
" Ian left out the school's front door carrying what looked like a videotape. He got on his bike and went off in the direction of your house. I just wanted to give you a heads up. If he's the delivery boy, you'll probably want to avoid answering the door yourself."
Rita was both angry and amused at the same time. Obviously Trish had elected not to tell Phoebe about her and Ian. She had the perfect comeback line. "Phoebe, I don’t know what you’re talking about."
"What are you talking about? He's that moron who just got expelled for insulting my mother. If you hadn't held me back, I would've hit him in the head with Darwin's Origin Of Species."
Not wanting to press the matter any further, Rita wormed her way out of the conversation. "Phoebe, I really don't care about how the tape gets to me. It doesn't make