seeing her on the ferris wheel last year, and if that were the case she would've just said 'no thanks'." Steven was now agitated. "Now think for a moment Ian...If I got that kind of a reaction from Sheila, can you imagine what kind of a response either one of us would get from the likes of Rita? Or for that matter Betty, Phoebe or any of those other girls in Mrs. Pinny's class?"
"Well I know that Phoebe hates my guts, but Rita I'm still not sure..."
Steven took off his glasses. He was now quite agitated. "Girls like them go for a specific type of guy. Tall, muscular, good looking, preferably wealthy. In other words, the exact opposite of us."
"Well that's certainly a negative attitude." Ian was slowly but surely realizing the futility of his optimism.
"Be realistic. There are a lot of tall good looking guys in school, who for the next five years, are going to be setting their sights on winning the affections of all the prettiest girls. Maybe guys like us should be striving for something a little more modest."
"Such as?"
"Such as not making fools of ourselves around people who we're going to be spending the next few years in class with. The fact is, Rita, Phoebe, Trish and Betty are all working together on this homework assignment like we are...probably at this very moment, and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they're goofing on us as well. Step number one in making sure we don't make fools of ourselves, is to see to it that our presentation is at least as good as theirs."
Begrudgingly, Ian concurred, and the two youths resumed their search for a suitable project.
4:10 pm, Phoebe's Bedroom
Steven had no idea how accurate his deduction was.
Phoebe was mockingly doing an impersonation of him reading from the textbook, which Trish and Betty laughed at hysterically, but only managed to coax a half-hearted smile out of Rita. The four girls had regrouped in Phoebe's bedroom after school to decide what their sociology projects would be, and who would be working with whom. Betty fidgeted around on Phoebe's computer while Trish sat on the bed. Rita was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall, doodling on a notepad.
"Is that Steven a nerd or what?" Phoebe said, with a laugh.
Betty added, "You know, if you were to pray to God to send over a stereotypical nerdy bookworm, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he showed up at your door. Steven's alright though. I find him amusing, albeit unintentionally."
"Right now, I feel sorry for him." Phoebe's voice took on an air of disgust. "The poor guy got paired up with that retarded Ian. You just know Steven's probably going to wind up having to do all the work himself."
"Frankly, I feel sorry for Ian." Betty responded. "I'm sure it can't be easy going through life with limited mental capabilities...and being funny looking too."
"It's not just that he's a retard," Phoebe continued. "I think he's also a pervert of some sort. He's always leering at us from the back of the room."
"Really?" Trish spoke up. "How do you know? You have eyes in the back of your head?"
"I don't have to have them," Phoebe sounded sure of herself. "I can just feel it."
"Well," said Trish, "To tell you the truth, I haven't really put that much thought into what's going on in the mind of Ian."
Finally, Rita spoke. "Can I ask you guys something?"
"Yeah?" They answered in unison.
"Is he that terrible?". "The fact is, the guy is creepy." asserted Phoebe
"Well," responded Rita, "I'll just have to take your word for it. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't be able to pick him out of a police line-up. All I know is that Mrs. Pinny occasionally talks to somebody named " Ian" who's voice always responds from somewhere behind me in the back of the room."
"I hate to say this, but Phoebe might be on to something." Betty continued fidgeting with the mouse. "While we were in the gym today, I could swear I saw him standing in the doorway for a few seconds, watching us."
Rita was somewhat amused at the thought of this. "Well, I don't know about you, but where I come from that doesn't necessarily make someone a pervert, that just makes him a normal guy."
"He was also at the ballgame, pretty much doing what she just described." Phoebe quipped.
"Good afternoon ladies!" The four girls looked up to see Phoebe's mother standing in the doorway.
"What’s up, Mom? This is my friend, Rita. You already know Trish and Betty. We're doing homework."
"At least we're trying to do homework," added Trish. "These three can't seem to stop talking about Ian."
“ So is this Ian some sort of a boy in school who you girl's like?"
"No, that's the boy in school who we hate," declared Phoebe.
Rita rebutted, "Speak for yourself, Phoebe. I don't hate anybody."
"Girls, there are two main things to remember when choosing a boyfriend." Mrs. Shan took it upon herself to hand out some uncalled for advice. "Seek out the superior male, and make sure his family has money."
There was about ten awkward seconds worth of silence as Rita was trying to decide whether or not the woman was being genuine or facetious. Betty and Trish just looked up at the ceiling. They were used to hearing this sort of nonsense from Mrs. Shan.
Finally, Rita tried breaking the tension with one of her usual droll observances, "Oh, I don't know. I think hygienic cleanliness is a pretty important character trait as well."
"Don’t worry, my dear. That's just something that naturally goes along with wealth. Always marry up."
Holy crap. Rita was at a loss. Is this woman for real? She wasn't really sure which was more reprehensible...that she apparently really believed what she was saying or the fact that she felt compelled to offer this advice completely unsolicited.
What was most shocking of all, was the fact that Phoebe didn't seem to be the least bit embarrassed by her mother's nonsense. "Don't worry mom. There's a major 'alpha male' in school named Felix, who just might be in love with me." This remark caused the other three girls to roll their eyes.
Rita was especially cynical. "Phoebe, are you talking about that tall guy in the suede jacket we were speaking to at the fairgrounds?"
"That's my guy."
Betty knew better. " I hate to disappoint you, but I don't think Felix will ever love you, or anybody else for that matter, as much as he loves the sound of his own voice."
"Ah, you're just jealous."
At this point, Phoebe's mother realized that she was probably getting in the way of the girl's homework, and made an exit. "I'll leave you girls to your project. Sorry for interrupting."
After the woman left, once again there was awkward silence.
This time it was Betty who initiated the conversation. "Phoebe, what does your father do for a living?"
"I don't know," answered Phoebe. "My folks divorced before I was born. He sends money all the time. He’s okay I guess."
Indeed. All three of her guests had noticed that the house was quite nice.
"Does your mom work too?"
"Yeah, she sells DVDs on the web."
"What kind of DVDs?" Rita was now a bit suspicious.
"Mainly instructional stuff. You know…the How Tos"
Trish, who up until now had been relatively quiet, finally decided to change the topic. "So have any of you put any thought into what subjects we're going to base our presentations on?"
"As far as I'm concerned, we might as well just do it on television," quipped Betty. "Mrs. Pinny already did half the work for us."
Rita thought about it for a moment. "Well, obviously that's out of the question, but I can think of a few subjects related to T.V. that are up for grabs."
"Like the advent of color T.V.?" suggested Betty.
"No." This was a subject that Rita knew quite a bit a
bout. "There was no sudden change from black and white to color, and the only effect the gradual transition had been the inevitable extinction of black and white televisions."
All three of them turned and looked at her.
"How do you know all this stuff?" Betty was slightly envious.
"When it comes to entertainment, I'm a walking encyclopedia. If you're looking for something television related, you might want to consider the pros and cons of the home video market."
"That's it," Declared Phoebe, turning to Betty and Trish. "I call Rita as my partner. In exchange, you two can use the home video idea. I'm sure she'll come up with something else."
Betty yawned and turned to Trish. "Is that idea acceptable to you?"
"Anything is at this point." Trish was obviously bored. "Want to meet tonight at my house after dinner? I'd feel a lot more comfortable using my own computer. You can even sleep over if you'd like."
"That sounds like a plan," Betty and Trish both rose and picked up their backpacks. "Phoebe, if you will excuse us, we'll leave you and genius over here to cook up another idea for yourselves. It was a pleasure meeting your mother." she uttered in a manner that hinted at sarcasm.
"Great. We'll give you two a call later on, and let you know what we've decided on." Phoebe showed them to the front door and returned to her room, where Rita was still sitting on the floor with her back against the wall. "Alright, I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that you've already got some better idea cooked up in your head."
Rita finally stood up. "As a matter of fact, yes I do.