“Because I say they do.” A woman in surgical blues was walking toward her. “I chose every one of these techs and watched their training.” She turned and motioned for the techs to take McKeller into the clinic. “Take X-rays, then get him ready for surgery. Give him a shot of morphine for the pain.” She turned back to Allie. “I’m Dr. Megan Blair; I’ll be taking care of the patient.” She looked at Mandak. “How was he injured, Mandak?”
“He jumped out of a speeding SUV and rolled down a steep incline. He was out when Allie found him. I thought maybe a concussion beside the obvious injury. I had to transport him immediately, and I couldn’t be careful.”
“That’s par for the course with most of the patients I get here,” she said wearily. She turned back to Allie. “He was unconscious?”
“No, I heard him. I know I heard him.”
Mandak shrugged. “Possible. I didn’t hear him. Or it could have been something else. She wanted to find him very much.” He smiled faintly. “Even McKeller said he felt as if he had to answer her.”
“What difference does it make?” Allie asked. “He’s here, and you have to make him better. He has to live, Dr. Blair.”
“Megan.” Her eyes narrowed on Allie’s face. “Both you and Mandak look as if you’ve gone through a war. How do you feel, Allie?”
“I’m fine. Just fine. It’s McKeller you have to worry about.”
Megan smiled gently. “Then I’d better go do my job, hadn’t I? I’m a very good doctor, Allie. You can trust me. I’ll let you know as soon as I make my examination. He means a great deal to you?”
“He can’t die. I won’t have him die, too.”
Megan’s expression changed to thoughtfulness as she studied Allie. She glanced at Mandak. “I’ll be busy with your friend McKeller. I believe I’ll have to leave everything else in your hands.”
He nodded. “I’ll need ammunition. Get that examination to me right away.”
She nodded. “You can wait in my office. I won’t be needing it while I’m in surgery.” She turned and hurried across the grounds after the techs.
“I think she’ll help him.” Allie’s gaze followed Megan until she disappeared into the clinic. “She seems … kind.” She rubbed her temple. “But I guess that doesn’t matter. How good is she, Mandak?”
“Very good. A fine surgeon, and she never gives up. She could practice anywhere in the world, but Renata convinced her to stay here.”
“Is she one of the Devanez family?”
“Yes, though she didn’t realize it until she was already a practicing MD.” He took her elbow and guided her toward the clinic. “Come on. We’ll go to Megan’s office to wait.”
“She said she’d be quick.”
“And she will.”
“He was hurting so terribly.”
“He’ll have had his pain shot by now. She wouldn’t allow the X-rays without it.”
He opened the door of the clinic, then an oak door immediately to the left. “Sit down.” He pushed her into a brown leather chair against the wall. “I’ll get you a cup of coffee. Megan always keeps a pot brewing.”
She shook her head.
“Okay.” He sat down beside her. “Then we’ll just wait.”
She sat very straight, her spine rigid.
Don’t let go.
Five minutes passed.
Ten.
Fifteen.
Megan suddenly popped her head into the office. “No serious damage. Minor concussion. Broken arm and shoulder. But I can put him back together, and he’ll only have a few aches when it rains.” She looked meaningfully at Mandak. “Now I have to get into surgery. Do your job. I don’t want to face another problem when I come out.” She smiled at Megan. “McKeller will be fine. I promise.” The door closed behind her.
Allie breathed a profound sigh of relief. “Thank God.”
“Yes,” he answered. “And Allie Girard.” He smiled. “And Megan, who has just sternly reminded me of my duty.”
“What duty?” She looked at him in alarm. “She said that McKeller is going to be fine. Wasn’t that—”
“My job isn’t McKeller,” he interrupted. “She’ll take care of him. She’s worried about you.”
“She shouldn’t be worried about me. I’m fine. I told her I was fine.”
“But she’s a good doctor and excellent at seeing through bullshit.” His lips thinned. “You’re sitting there so straight, you look as if you have a poker in your back. You’re exhausted. You’re torn apart. And you killed your first man today. But you won’t let go.”
“I’m fine.”
“Let go, Allie.”
“Shut up, Mandak.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the landscape print on the wall over his shoulder. Natalie had painted a landscape something like that a few years ago. Only her painting was much better.
Gates of Heaven.
The priest’s brains exploding, his body slumping to the side of the canoe.
“I’m not going to shut up.”
“Then I won’t listen to you.” Her breath was coming in short pants. Control it. She mustn’t lose control. If she did, she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to get it back. “I’m just going to sit here and wait until Megan gets McKeller out of surgery.”
“I can’t let you do that,” he said quietly. “I have to help you let go. Doctor’s orders.”
“Stop interfering.” Her gaze swung back to his face. “And don’t you play any of your tricks on me.”
“No tricks.” He reached out and pulled her to her feet. “I’m just going to help you give yourself permission to let yourself do what you won’t let me do. Talk to me.” He pulled her close, and his hand cupped the back of her neck. “For God’s sake,” he said roughly. “You feel as if you’re made of crystal that could break in a million pieces.”
“I won’t break.”
“No, you won’t. But you’re afraid that you will. That’s why you won’t let go.” His lips were pressed to her ear, and his words came with soft force. “But I watched you today, and I know what you are. You went through hell at Talboa, and God knows what hideous memories Kobu managed to stir in you. But you never quit. You kept with me all the way.” His lips brushed her temple. “No, you went past me.”
“Death. The priest, Thorne. So many deaths. Death all around us.”
“And you killed a man who might have killed me.”
“Yes, I thought I’d hate it. I didn’t. I just wanted to make sure there would be no more deaths.”
“I’m grateful that it was my neck you saved to demonstrate that belief. But you may feel differently later.”
“I don’t think so. I told the priest that I didn’t know if I could forgive the people who trespassed against Lee and Natalie.” She was beginning to shiver, and she instinctively slid her arms around him to embrace his warmth. “Trespass? They killed them. No one has the right to kill someone else. Not if they’re good and kind like Lee and Natalie. Not if they’re like Father Elwyn, who only wanted to help, not hurt. And it goes on and on, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, until you stop it.”
“And that’s killing, too.” She looked up into his face. “Why?” She was starting to shake, waves and waves of violent trembling. She had to hold on to him to keep from falling. “It goes on and on. Not only the killing but the ugliness, the desecration. I can’t let it happen anymore.”
“You saved McKeller. Hell, you saved me. That’s enough for today. We’ll work on the rest of the world tomorrow.” He lifted her in his arms and carried her into the adjoining examination room. “Now you’re going to lie here and pretend today was a bad memory you have to block.”
“I’ll never be able to block it. I don’t want to block it. People died, and I have to do something…”
He moved down to lie beside her. “Just for an hour. You need to heal. I don’t want to do it for you.” He held her so tight that she felt as if she were being absorbed into his body. “Go blank. You can
’t do anything while you’re shaking like this. Doesn’t that make sense?”
“Yes.” She nestled closer, so that she could feel that strength. “But I don’t know if I can—”
“You can do anything. I told you, I watched you today.”
“Liar. Everything was moving too fast for you to—”
“Then I felt you. Every movement you made seemed part of me.” His fingers were tangled in her hair. “Just as it is right now.” His lips brushed her temple. “Can’t you feel it, too?”
She did feel it. The shaking was beginning to subside, and she was only aware of the bonding, the sensation of being part of his body, part of his mind. It was so much stronger than it had been years ago …
But she had to be sure that she still had control through this comfort that was close to salvation. “No tricks?”
He pulled her even closer. He whispered, “Absolutely no tricks, Allie.”
* * *
MANDAK HEARD MEGAN COME into the outer office over two hours later.
He carefully shifted away from Allie and got off the table. She had been sleeping for over an hour, but she needed more. He covered her with the blanket draped over the chair and moved quietly toward the door.
Megan was at the desk writing up her notes and glanced up as he came into the office. “Mission accomplished?”
“It’s not that simple. McKeller?”
“My job wasn’t that simple either, but I did what I set out to do.” She glanced at the door. “Rough day for her?”
“The roughest.”
“I thought so.” She got up from the desk and went to the coffee bar. “Shell-shocked.” She poured two cups of coffee and brought them back and handed him one. “Renata told me that all our hopes are riding on Allie.”
“Not all.” He took a drink of coffee. “But a hell of a lot.”
“She’s not going to be much good to us if she goes into a tailspin. Praland will eat her alive.”
“No he won’t,” Mandak said harshly. “I’d let Praland keep that ledger another ten years before I’d let anything happen to her.”
Megan gave a low whistle. “Renata said that she thought you should have given Allie to her. Are you getting a little too involved? Judging by today, she may be—”
“Judging by today, she was magnificent,” Mandak said curtly. “I couldn’t have asked for anything else from her. If you’d been there, you would have thought the same thing.”
“If you say so.” She sat down and lifted her cup to her lips. “I’m just tired of patching up people like McKeller. Those kids I had to treat nearly broke my heart. Praland has to be stopped.”
“That’s what Allie said. The killing has to stop.” His lips twisted. “She went through a trial by fire today. It made everything much clearer to her.”
“The fire touched you, too,” Megan said. “You’re hurting, Mandak.”
He shrugged. “I knew it was coming from the beginning. But I put the play into motion, and now I can’t stop it even if I wanted to.” He met Megan’s eyes. “I did all I could with Allie, but she could use someone to talk to whom she can trust.”
“And that isn’t you?”
“We have a history. But it’s complicated.”
“I can see how it would be.” She nodded. “I’ll be there when she wakes up. We’ll see how it goes.” She sat down at her desk again. “Now get out of here. Go to the bunkhouse and get a shower and a few hours sleep yourself. You look like hell. Allie doesn’t need any reminders of what the two of you went through.”
“As you command.” He moved toward the examination room. “I’ll just check to make sure she’s okay and still sleeping.”
Megan nodded. “How very protective. Not at all like the hard-ass we know and love.” She was already absorbed in her paperwork. “By all means, make certain that your charge is well and in the arms of Morpheus.”
He quietly opened the door and moved to stand beside the table. Allie was curled up, sound asleep, her lips slightly parted, her breathing deep and steady.
He wanted to reach out and touch her, make contact in some way.
Protective? Hell, yes. It had nearly killed him to watch the horror that she had gone through today. It had even been worse to know that he had to stand by and not take over. She had been so fragilely balanced that he had known that he had to be careful not to disturb that balance.
Are you getting a little too involved?
Megan’s question was almost ironic. How could he help but be involved? Allie had been his main concern and passion for seven years. And these last days had shown him a different Allie than the one he’d grown to know.
Dangerous.
He had told Megan he would delay the mission he had worked so hard to complete to save Allie. It had come impulsively out of his lips, but he had known that it was true.
Back off.
There were too many lives at stake. Praland had to be killed. The ledger had to be found.
And he had to find a way to keep Megan alive through all of it.
* * *
“HI, ALLIE.” MEGAN SMILED AS Allie drowsily opened her eyes. “Remember me? I thought I’d be here to give you good news when you woke. McKeller is doing fine and having a snack even as we speak.”
“That’s wonderful.” But she was feeling terribly alone and suddenly anxious. She looked around the room. “Where’s Mandak?”
“I sent him to get some rest.” She made a face. “And a shower. You need one, too. You can use the shower adjoining my office.” She got to her feet. “But, first, I’ll get you a cup of coffee to wake you up. How do you take it?”
“Black.”
“Right.” Megan disappeared into the office.
Allie slowly sat up and swung her legs off the table. That feeling of anxiety at Mandak’s absence she had experienced was making her uneasy. She had to stand on her own feet. She couldn’t depend on Mandak to—
“Here we are.” Megan came into the room and handed her the cup of coffee. “Drink it. The caffeine will do you good.” She sat back down in the chair she’d vacated. “I wanted you to sleep but I knew that you were too on edge to really relax. That’s why I had to count on Mandak.” She smiled. “But no problem. I’ve found I can always do that.”
“Can you?” She sipped the hot coffee. “Have you known him a long time?”
“Yes. He’s been in and out of Tanzania all the time I’ve run this clinic. When Renata needed him, he was there for her. He’s the one who rescued those children from Praland’s bordello in Madagascar.”
“I didn’t know that. He only mentioned there was a rescue.” She studied Megan. “That sounds like you’ve been working here for some time. Why? Because you’re part of this Devanez family?”
“I’ve never really thought of myself in that light. I only found out that I was descended from the Devanezes after I was an adult and out of medical school. By then I had other issues connected to what I discovered about myself that seemed more important to me.”
Allie asked bluntly, “You mean you found out you were a freak like me?”
“No, I found out that I wasn’t like everyone else. Which is a different thing entirely,” Megan said quietly. “Though I had a few problems adjusting, and I admit that word jumped up in my mind several times. But since I married Neal Grady, a man who is also what you call a freak and works closely with Renata, I guess I’m pretty close to that adjustment.” She shook her head. “And I’m definitely not like you, Allie. You have a gift that Renata and Mandak and all the rest of the clan are counting on to help save lives.” She smiled. “I would have given anything to be able to do that. I’m a doctor. I couldn’t understand if I had to have some kind of bizarre gift, I couldn’t be a healer.”
She asked skeptically, “Are there really healers?”
“Oh, yes. I know of at least two. One helps out at St. Jude’s in Memphis.”
Allie was silent a moment. “If you’re not a healer, what kind of weird gift d
o—”
“You might say I’m a facilitator. They call me a Pandora.”
“And what is that?”
“Under certain circumstances, I’m able to touch people and bring out whatever psychic talents they possess.” She shrugged. “Which causes a multitude of problems. I don’t discuss it. We all have our own crosses to bear. I’ve been trying to find out how to get control for years. I’ve had moderate success, but I have a long way to go.” She smiled. “So you’re not the only one with problems, and Mandak has been there helping, training you, for a long time.”
“I never asked him to do it.”
“No,” Megan said. “And it’s not fair to you, but that’s the way it is. What’s happening to those people Praland is targeting isn’t fair, either.” Her expression became shadowed. “I originally came to Tanzania to see if I could help find some of the victims targeted by Molino and Praland. My mother was one of those victims. She was murdered.”
“I’m sorry. And did you find the other victims?”
“A few of them. But by then Praland had taken over the operation of the gang, and everything was getting worse. What started out as a quick job became…” She made a motion with one hand to indicate the exam room. “Became this clinic to try to do what I could to keep some of the pain and violence in check.”
“It seems you did it. You might have saved McKeller.”
“He wasn’t that bad. But I have saved others.” She met Allie’s eyes. “But those are temporary fixes. We have to get rid of Praland to make sure that none of it happens again.”
Allie’s lips twisted. “I’ve just had a terrible lesson to that effect. I know what Mandak expects. I know what Renata wants from me. You don’t have to lecture me, Megan.”
“I wasn’t lecturing.” She got to her feet. “I just wanted you to see the problem from my point of view. And have you know that I’ll help you in any way I can.” She moved toward the door. “Now I’ll go check on McKeller and stop by the bunkhouse to tell Mandak you’re awake. Your duffel is in the office bathroom. You’ll probably want to throw those clothes you’re wearing in the trash.”