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He almost cringed at the desperate note in his voice. In the back of his head, a nagging voice wondered if shed lied to everyone tonight not because she cared for him as a mate, but because she didnt want to lose her magical bodyguard. He didnt want to think that, but as much as Felicia had revealed in the past few days, she was hardly an open book.
She bit her lip. "I like you very much. "
Felicia liked him. Duke didnt have the courage to ask her if she loved him, or ever could.
The rest of the ride passed in silence. Because he couldnt stand to be too far from her, Duke held her hand. Though she clasped his in return, he knew tonight had rattled her.
After dodging the paparazzi outside the Dorchester, they dashed through the deserted lobby and into a waiting elevator. The doors slid shut, and he turned to Felicia, caressing his way up her bare arms. "Are you all right?"
She frowned. "I wasnt the one arrested. What about you?"
"Fine. "
"How?" She shook her head. "Mason is your brother. This discord between you isnt right. Its my fault. "
So thats what troubled Felicia.
A heavy weight settled in Dukes chest. He was aware that he and Mason were quickly approaching a point of no return. Another stunt like this, and Duke would be hard-pressed to forgive his younger brother. On the other hand, if another man had stolen his most precious gift, his very heart, Duke could well understand such hatred.
Hed kill any bastard who took Felicia from him.
"Our problems arent your doing. They started long ago. " He sighed. "Mason has every reason to despise me. He wanted you for himself, and I took you. With your statement, he knows hes lost you. And Im not letting go, Felicia. "
Silently, she looked away, pulled her hand back. A physical withdrawal. Duke cursed under his breath. Did she feel too guilty about hurting Mason? Or, as Duke feared, did she not love him enough to choose him forever?
In their suite, he tore through the dark rooms, frustration edging to the fore. Damn it, with Felicia it was always two steps forward, one step back. He didnt want to lose her, and pushing her now would only induce her to put new walls between them. But would she ever open her heart and give herself completely to him?
"Its wrong. Ive come between two brothers and--" She choked. "I feel terrible.
Nothing ever came between Deirdre and me, ever. Until Alexei. "
And that had ended in the womans death. Dukes gut twisted.
"Mason is your friend, yes?"
"He was. I dont know if hed still say the same. "
"His anger toward you will abate. " Duke couldnt believe he was consoling her, when all he wanted to do was wring Masons neck. But anything to take that haunted look off her face. "In time, hell heal. Move on. "
"But your relationship with him will never be the same, and I dont know if I can live with that. "
"Even if Im willing to bear it?"
"Simon . . . " Her voice pleaded with him.
Perhaps she meant what she said, but Duke couldnt help but think that she merely used Mason again to keep distance between them.
"What if you find one day that Im . . . not worth it?"
"That will never happen, but I could assure you until Im blue in the face, and Im not certain you would ever believe me. Youll have to realize that for yourself. "
Tamping down his agitation, he gritted his teeth and closeted himself in the bathroom. The warm spray of the shower felt heavenly, and washing the stench and filth of jail off himself soothed him.
Long minutes later, he emerged to see that Felicia had taken off all her makeup and slipped into one of the negligees hed had delivered to the room. Eggshell silk trimmed in delicate lace. Demure but sexy. She looked stunning. All the relaxation from his shower fled, replaced by a desire that made him edgy and hard. He ached to make love to her. To stake his claim anew.
But she needed time to come to grips with tonights events. Damn it, somehow hed have to give it to her. They were making progress, just not as quickly as he liked.
On the bed, she reclined, her knees curled up, a book resting on them.
He frowned. "Is that one of Merlins books?"
She glanced up, saw the towel wrapped around his middle, and flushed. "Ah . . .
yes. It is. I, um . . . " She swallowed, staring at his chest. "Im trying to find something useful in this book. Tonight proved to me we cannot keep living in this gossipmonger bubble to avoid Mathias. The only way to deal with him is to head off this threat. "
"You mean, go to Morgannas tomb?"
"I dont see another choice. Were merely avoiding the inevitable. "
He understood her logic . . . but no. "Chasing Mathias is tantamount to a death sentence. I wont let you do anything to endanger yourself. "
" Let me? Im a grown woman. An Untouchable. The magic in that tomb cant hurt me. "
Duke grabbed her shoulders tightly. "Listen, Sunshine. Thats a theory. No one knows that for a fact. Its also possible that you could step one foot inside and die instantly. "
"Hiding in plain sight wont work forever. You cant keep inventing a new scandal every day. "
As much as he wanted to refute her, he feared she was right.
"And how long before Mathias gets desperate? What if he takes a cue from terrorists and starts bombing buildings and killing innocent humans just to reach me?"
Duke wouldnt put anything past Mathias. But how could he simply let Felicia walk into one of the most dangerous places known to magickind?
"Have you found anything useful in that book?"
She shook her head. "Odds and ends, really. The tomb was created for Morganna, 163
and Merlin himself distilled her essence into a bottle to store there. "
In other words, shed learned nothing that would guarantee her safety. Likley because no such guarantee existed.
"What if we led Mathias into the tomb, destroyed Morgannas essence before he could carry out his plan. Perhaps then we could find a way to destroy him?"
The thought horrified him. "Too risky. "
"But is it possible?"
Duke said nothing. He didnt know the answer and didnt want to encourage her.
"I think we should talk to Bram," she mused.
"We arent going to the tomb, period. "
"I wont keep running. Ill never have a normal life unless Mathias is no longer a threat. "
Bloody hell. That was true. Question was, what did she now see as a normal life?
One with him, or merely one in which she wasnt always looking over her shoulder for evil incarnate?
Cursing, Duke rose and found his phone. Bram answered on the first ring.
"Are you out of your bloody mind?" he screeched. "Why not take out an advertisement telling Mathias exactly where to find you and how much you love Felicia?"
Duke gritted his teeth. "Can we save the parenting for later? We have a question about Morgannas tomb. What would happen if we managed to get inside the cave and destroy her essence? Felicia would be basically useless to Mathias, yes?"
"Thats possible. Mathias might come after her for mere spite, but hed have no other reason. If Morgannas essence were destroyed, shed be well and truly gone forever.
Another threat extinguished. "
Duke paced to the next room, away from Felicia and the argument he knew shed put up. "I cant send her in there, Bram. We need to find Mathias and kill the fucking bastard. Now!"
"Havent we been trying? We cant even find Tynan yet, and the clock is ticking.
Maybe its time to think about letting her try the tomb. "
Duke cursed. "Would you send Emma there, not knowing if death awaited her?"
"Because of who she is, Felicia must face either Mathias or that tomb. Duke, you may not be able to spare her both. "
"Shut the bloody hell up. " He jammed the button, ringing off, breath harsh, heart beating furiously.
Charging back into the bedroom, he found Fe
licia lying across the bed with Merlins book again. "You cant protect me from everything. I appreciate your effort but . . . Im looking for some reference on how to destroy Morgannas essence. "
Duke pulled the tome from her grasp and slammed it shut. "You are not going in there. My mission is to keep you safe. Bram and the others will have to take care of Mathias. "
"They cant enter that tomb without me, and they dont know how to kill him. Be reasonable, Simon. You dont want to see me in danger, and I adore you for it. But you can only protect me from so much. "
That fact hurt like hell.
"Bram saw you with Mathias in his dream. "
"I remember. " She swallowed. "Maybe thats simply destined to become reality. "
He hovered over her on the bed, faces inches apart, unable to deal with the thought of her in Mathiass grip, in pain, hurting, dead. Anguish crashed over him. He wanted so badly to grab her, kiss her, make love to her.
She read the intent on his face and looked away. "Id like to go to sleep now. "
Just like that, she shut him out again.
Panic zipped through Duke. He wanted to force her to look at him, force her to admit everything in her heart. But he was too on edge, and pushing her tonight would only be counterproductive.
"You must be tired," she prompted him. "You havent slept in two days. "
He lay down beside her and put his arms around her, relieved when she didnt resist. "Will you let me hold you?"
When she nodded, Duke placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Sleep. "
Felicia curled up with her pillow. Moments later, she dropped off. He wrapped his body around hers, quaking inside.
Felicia was brave enough to run into the tomb and face the danger--but so scared to tear down the walls between them. What would it take for her to have the same courage when sharing her emotions? She cared enough to make love with him, enough to issue a statement about her relationship with him in front of Mason. What was it going to take for her to admit that she loved him?
The following morning dawned blustery and gray. Simon herded Felicia out of bed and into a waiting pair of jeans. A big down coat followed, before he urged her to throw on her trainers.
She frowned, barely awake. "Its not even seven oclock in the morning. Where are we going?"
He thrust a cup of tea in her hands. "Will you trust me and come along?"
He was secretive, a bit edgy. But hed never hurt her. How could she say no?
"All right. No hints?"
Duke took her hand with a grim expression and led her out of the room.
In front of the hotel, a horde of reporters awaited, loitering near the entrance, springing into action as soon as they appeared.
"Did Hurstgrove rape you?" shouted one.
"Did you lie about the abduction to set him free?"
"Do you have Stockholm syndrome?"
God, she was bloody tired of their questions. "No comment. "
She darted away from the scene, Simon holding her hand and running with her.
They dashed into the waiting limousine and Felicia waited to hear his instructions to the driver, but he said nothing as the car pulled away.
"What is this about?" she demanded.
He swallowed. "Youll see. Then well talk. "
Minutes later, they wound down a series of familiar roads. Buildings thinned out.
Wrought iron gates appeared, age-worn but strong, with horror she recognized the cemetery where her entire family was buried.
Felicia tensed. "Why are we here?"
"When was the last time you visited your sister?"
The day of her funeral. Shed arranged to have flowers laid at Deirdres grave 165
regularly, but hadnt found the fortitude to bring them herself.
"What does that have to do with anything? Take me back to the hotel!"
"When?"
"Im not going out there. Mathias could--"
"Bram and Ice are meeting us for protection. Mathias wont come near you. "
"Its cold," she blurted.
"Ill keep you warm. But that isnt your real objection. "
"Why are you doing this?" She cried out as he opened the car door and tugged on her hand. "Dont . . . please. "
He clenched his jaw. "It goes against everything inside me to force you to do anything, but I want to help you. You need to face your fears. Deirdre died and you let part of yourself die with her. Or did it happen even before that?"
Fear struck down to her very core. Felicia dug in her heels, seeing Bram standing a hundred meters to her left. Ice hovered like a statue an equal distance to her right. Even if she ran, theyd catch her. Or, if he was hovering near, Mathias would.
"Is this your way of making me vulnerable to you, to rip me wide open? I-I wont.
God, dont make me. "
"Yes, I want you to open up to me, love me. But do you think Id hurt you voluntarily to get my way?"
No, but saying that was like giving him permission to unravel her past and shove it in her face.
"Im sorry you think that. " He clenched his jaw, eyes looking suspiciously glossy.
"I love you, and I wish like hell you could believe me--and yourself--and trust that Im doing this for you so you can find peace. And eventually feel free enough to love. "