Chapter Eight (Epilogue)
A singer had been booked for the evening to entertain the remaining street/tea party guests. Frederick and Fiona held hands and beamed happily as the woman stepped up onto the hastily-erected stage. Everything was perfect – the streets were lit by candlelight, Fiona’s hair shone with hairspray (though she was careful to keep it away from the candles), and there had only been one bitch-fight during the course of the whole day.
As the woman began to sing, Fiona closed her eyes in anticipation of the romantic bliss which lay ahead –
“VAMOS A LA PLAYA!” the woman began to screech tunelessly. “VAMOS A LA PLAYA! OH OH OH OH OH! VAMOS A LA PLAYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”
“Is that Prunella?” Fiona gasped. “How did this happen?”
“I’m sorry,” Frederick said guiltily. “She begged so hard, I didn’t have the heart to refuse her. Or to tell her that she can’t sing. But next there will be a local death metal band called The Lethal Aubergines…”
“Forget it,” Fiona sighed. “I’m going home.”
“Wait!” he cried. “How about we go somewhere together, just you and I?”
A moment later, they both stood beside the river. Frederick’s eyes were filled with intense love and adoration.
“Fiona, I have never said this to any other woman,” he began, as an abandoned shopping trolley floated past. “Not your mother, nor your sister, nor my fiancée.”
“Not even the milklady?”
“She is a goddess in the world of Battenberg. To call her a woman is like calling Sauerkraut a Brussels sprout.”
“Oh, that’s alright then.”
“Fiona, I love you more than I have ever loved any other woman.”
“Golly,” said Fiona. A dead dog bumped into the river bank. Above, the light pollution obscured the stars.
“And that is why I am about to ask you this question,” he continued solemnly, clasping both her hands in his, which resulted in severe carpet burn.
“Will you marry me?” he proposed. (See what I did there?)
Fiona looked deep into his eyes and opened her mouth to answer –
THE END
OH, SO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? THEN YOU’LL HAVE TO READ THE NEXT BOOK IN THIS NON-AWARD-WINNING SERIES BY MIMI YEATS-PRHANAZ!
TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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