Alexandria walked quietly along the back garden paths for almost an hour. The solitude was both refreshing and invigorating. She stopped occasionally and threw a stick for one of the dogs to chase, or scrubbed their heads before they ran away to play again. Finally, she brushed snow off of a bench and took a seat just to let her mind wander. There was so much to think about, so much to process. The one thing that came back to Alex’s mind, time and again, was how easily Bertrand had lifted her and thrown her. That was a feeling she never wanted to be on the receiving end of again. Alex wanted that power. Not to dominate and hurt, but to shield herself and her family.
Looking out over the frozen landscape, Alexandria vowed that no matter what she had to go through to get it, she would figure out how to have it and wield it. She would never be a victim again.
“Never again,” she whispered aloud.
At the utterance of those words, she noticed that the already still surroundings became even quieter and felt more brittle. Alexandria stood slowly and looked around, but spotted nothing. The dogs were close, but still playing, certainly not raising the alarm as they had before.
“Ganymede,” she thought, “I know that you’re here and I know that you hear me. Come and show me the way. I’m ready.”
Alexandria felt as if a long-suffering weight rose from her shoulders at the utterance of those words. She felt relief all over, and a small sob escaped her lips. Alex sat back down hard on the bench and gripped the edge with her hands, leaning forward as a surge of dizziness swept through her body. Her vision became a little blurry around the edges, and she was sure that she was about to faint. Alex took slow breaths attempting to hang on to consciousness.
As she looked around, Alex saw that the world took on a green hue. Snow began to melt, and she smelled the fragrance of the earth in the spring. She heard birds calling to their mates and saw butterflies flitting about bushes along the pathway. Her eyes quickly searched for the dogs, but they had vanished. Alexandria rose from the bench slowly and looked around. Just like the night on the beach so long ago, she felt Ganymede near her before she saw him. She turned slightly to her left and there he was. He was as beautiful as before and smiling at her.
This time Alex did not wait for an invitation. She simply strode forward and walked into Ganymede’s outstretched arms. Hugging him felt so natural and serene. Ganymede rested his chin on the top of her head and rocked her slowly back and forth. Alex knew that she could stay like that forever if he would allow it. Nothing could touch her there – no one nor anything else.
“As much as I would love to hold you forever, I do not think that we could stay this way and watch the world pass us by, dear one,” he chuckled.
“No, I suppose not, but what say we give it a try? Just for a while?” mused Alexandria, still not releasing him.
“Alright.” He laughed once more.
Alex could feel the rumble of laughter from his chest reverberating in hers, and she felt totally content. Yes, she thought, she could stay like that for a long while.
Finally, Ganymede straightened and smoothed her hair out of her eyes with his hands. He held her at arm’s length and took in her appearance as if to reassure himself that she was fully healed and whole. She looked up into his blue eyes, so trusting and so benevolent.
“I have waited for this day for many years, Alexandria. I deeply regret that Bertrand’s aggression brought about your decision to call me. But we are here together, and together we can face anything.” He spoke with the hint of a question in his voice, as though he were unsure whether she really wanted him there or not.
Alexandria took a step away from Ganymede and looked out over the now lush countryside. The world just awakened for spring held so much promise, new wildlife and new growth just waiting to come forth. She looked back at Ganymede and shook her head slowly.
“I cannot pretend to know why Bertrand came at me with so much hate and violence, but nevertheless, I am not going to run and hide. Ganymede, you told me when I was a child that I was brave and incredibly gifted. I’m ready to know what you meant. I have a feeling that things are about to get a lot more complicated for me, but I cannot ask anyone else to place themselves in harm’s way on my behalf. If something happened to my family, I would never forgive myself.” She exhaled heavily and shook her head at the image her mind was painting.
Alexandria was deeply afraid that her family would suffer from some unknown threat which she felt to be looming over her now. Even though she had no idea how she could fight off Bertrand or his like, she was willing to learn. She caught Ganymede’s slow smile and then remembered that he could hear every thought and whisper her mind could form. Looking him in the eye then, she thought, “Tell me, Ganymede. Please.”
Ganymede took Alexandria’s hand and asked her if she would sit with him on the bench in her parents’ garden. Together, hand in hand, they took their seats, and Alex steeled herself to hear what he had to say. He turned toward her just as he had on that piece of driftwood so long ago and looked down into her eyes, blue meeting blue.
Slowly, Ganymede began rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand as he spoke. “Alexandria, you and I have known each other for a very, very long time. I have been with you since your birth, and I will be with you until the end of your days. But this has happened before, you see, you and I. Long ago, there were angels who were given permission to marry humans. Humans whom they loved and respected. Those marriages and unions often begat children who were incredibly gifted, powerful, and strong.”
Alexandria drew in a quick breath. She had heard of such children before, in church of all places. “They were called the heroes of old, weren’t they? And they had a name that started with neph… or something like that,” she said.
Yes, Alex remembered thinking that Hercules could have been real when she was a young girl and was a little disappointed that her brothers did not agree with her way of thinking.
“Yes,” he smiled, “when humans told their stories, they often referred to these children as the Nephilim. They were unlike any other human children, and humans knew them for what they were. If the immortal children did not take precautions to limit or alter their interactions with humans, problems sometimes arose.” His eyes took on a faraway look as if he were remembering times long since passed and challenges that she could not fathom. Ganymede refocused on her face and continued.
“Many Nephilim children were born, and still there can be some born today. They are very unique, and most are gifted with long life and abilities far beyond what most humans are capable of. Some have been here for millennia.”
Alex’s eyebrows rose sharply at that last statement. How could a being possibly live that long, what with disease and cellular deterioration, she wondered? Ganymede reached forward with his index finger and tapped the end of her nose.
“Sharp as ever, my dear,” he praised.
Alexandria felt herself blush from head to toe.
“There are ways for the Nephilim to sustain their bodies through the ages, but life is not always easy for them. In today’s world, they must work diligently to avoid detection from authorities and unwanted attention. They are quite adept at living amongst humans and assuming identities which allow them to help their fellow man and to be an asset to the world. As the children of angels, most want to love, protect, and heal as many humans as they can. They understand that there is a greater good to be served while they walk this earth.”
“You said, ‘most,’ but some don’t, like Bertrand. He was too fast and strong to just be human. So he was a Nephilim, just a very misguided one, huh?” Alex mused aloud. She shivered all over when she thought of him.
“Yes, Bertrand was also a Nephilim, but not of my kind,” said Ganymede sadly and, for the first time, Alexandria saw deep sorrow and hurt in his eyes.
She took in a slow breath because she could feel the chasm of sadness that spanned from
his grief, and it felt as if she would be swept away by his feelings of disappointment and be consumed by them.
“Oh, Ganymede,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.” Alexandria did not know what she was apologizing for, but she was sorry that he felt such anguish.
“No, sweet child.” He shook his head at her and brushed her hair behind her ear. “This was all set in motion long ago, and it will continue for some time to come. You see, there are angels who serve the Lord and want only to please Him and take care of all that He loves. They delight in what is good and what is right. I am one of the first angels. Along with Gabriel and Michael, I have been at the Lord’s side from the beginning, and I have served Him faithfully from the moment I was created.”
“Sadly, there are those who wanted more power, usurpers to the Lord, who were cast out for their disobedience and defiance. The denial of the power they sought made them bitter and angry. But they left still with a great amount of power, and their leader wanted to see the perpetuation of his followers. He allowed Nephilim to be born of his fallen angels as well.” Ganymede was watching her as a hawk watches its prey – carefully, as if she might bolt at any moment and he might have to lay chase.
Alexandria paled all over. She tried to speak, but her voice sounded dry and thin. “You’re talking about Lucifer aren’t you, Ganymede?” She was afraid to give voice to his name, as though he might suddenly appear before them once summoned.
“Yes, Alexandria. There are many names associated with him. Some call him the Devil, Beelzebub, Lucifer, or Iblis. I knew him by another name when he was filled with radiance and integrity,” lamented Ganymede. A look of deep sorrow filled his eyes again. He slowly shook his head.
“He was a dear friend at one time, and all of us still want to love him as a brother, but this is not something that he welcomes. He still rejects the love that the Lord freely offered him, and he is determined to cause mischief and chaos amongst the humans who walk this earth. As long as he turns away from our Father, he will feel the loss of that love and Light, and his heart will remain hardened. It is a terrible burden to bear, but it is one of his own choosing.”
Alexandria reached forward with her left hand and laid it atop Ganymede’s hands, which still held her right palm. She squeezed his hands from both sides and tried to will her compassion and affection into him, to help him combat the dark memories. He smiled at her offered comfort and drew his hand to the top of the pile and patted her.
“Yes, it is a sadness, my dear, but I digress,” he said solemnly.
“Through the ages, many have wrongly believed that all Nephilim were evil or descended from angels who were cast out. This is not true. Those angels who still serve the Lord have, throughout the millennia, walked on this earth with His blessing. We have carried messages to humans, healed them and, at times, lived amongst them. I have done this for thousands of years, coming and going as the Lord determines, providing aid and comfort to His people. Once, many thousands of years ago, I was given permission to marry a human woman who was a blessing I never thought I would receive. She was a true joy, and I will be forever the better for sharing her life with her.”
Alexandria could actually see her face. As he spoke of her, she saw the two of them laughing and walking together hand in hand. When Alex was little, she remembered dreaming of this lady and Alex remembered her laughter. Warm and ebullient, it made her feel safe. She looked at Ganymede questioningly.
“I see her. Oh, Ganymede, she was beautiful. But I’ve seen her before, in my dreams when I was a child. How is that possible? Were you sharing your memory of her with me even then?”
“Yes and no. She is always with me, as is the child that we had together. Her name was Maireid, and she blessed me with a beautiful daughter. We called her Arianna.” Ganymede let this last statement hang in the air between them. His eyes bore into Alex’s as he waited for her to react to his last words.
Alexandria pulled her hands away from Ganymede and stood quickly. She immediately took a step back.
“Arianna?” she whispered. Alex felt as if the air was leaving her lungs too quickly and not enough was returning to them.
“What are you telling me? Your daughter was the same person Bertrand was looking for when he found me? What does that mean? I look like her and I… I… what? We’re so similar that you can talk to me, too?”
She found herself stuttering and floundering. Alex felt as if a dark shadow was creeping over her and preparing to engulf her like a tidal wave.
“What are you telling me, Ganymede?” she murmured and kept a little distance between them while she stood and waited for his response.
His eyes never left hers as he rose slowly and stepped towards her.
“Please, Alexandria, do not be afraid. This is a hard truth. One I have wanted to share with you since you were a child, but I was not allowed to until you wanted the information in your own time and for your own reasons.”
“Arianna lived for a very long time. She was the first of the Nephilim, and she grew to be very powerful. Her life was devoted to the care and preservation of human life. She became a teacher and a healer to the other Nephilim which followed her. She guided them on a path of righteousness.” Ganymede’s eyes glowed with pride and love, the look a parent has for their child.
“You’re speaking of her in past tense. Where is she?” Alexandria asked tentatively. “Did she die?” Alex felt like an intruder asking the question, but she could not stop herself.
Slowly nodding his head, Ganymede answered her. “Yes, she did perish, but she has returned.”
Neither said anything for several minutes. They just stood looking into each other’s eyes, waiting for those words to compel one of them into motion. Alexandria knew then that this was what she would have heard back in Egypt when she was eight. How would she have processed it then, she asked herself? Better than right now? Or could there have ever been a moment when she heard Ganymede’s proclamation and felt prepared for the ramifications?
“Returned? Do you mean I am Arianna? But I know who I am! I am Alexandria Grace Groaban. I have parents and brothers who know me. Jameason has helped raise me from birth. How can I be Arianna if I know that I am Alexandria?” Her voice strengthened with each question as if she was holding on to them as proclamations of her person.
“Arianna was greatly missed by the Nephilim she left behind here on earth. She was and is needed. But her life had come to an end and she finally knew peace, such as she could never have fathomed. When the others pleaded for her return, I was allowed to give her the option. I did not expect that permission to come, but the Lord knows better than I do how His plans can best be fulfilled.”
“Arianna was reluctant to leave Paradise behind, but finally she agreed to return here if her soul could return first as a human. She wanted to know once and for all what it felt like to live as a human with no extraordinary powers or abilities. Just to be human for a brief time. She found that in you, Alexandria. You were chosen to be Arianna’s vessel and path back to earth.”
“But it didn’t work, did it? This plan that she had,” said Alexandria, feeling the color rise in her cheeks. “Some things couldn’t be held at bay, and they’ve been seeping in throughout my life. All the visions and voices, all of the times I knew I wasn’t quite like everyone else. Even my parents used to look at me as if they didn’t understand what I was.” She sat back on the bench and put her elbows on her knees, then supported her head in her hands.
Alex rocked back and forth, trying to find some comfort or peace in what he was telling her. “Ganymede, who am I?”
She sounded so forlorn and pitiful that he sat quickly next to her and pulled her onto his lap. Ganymede rocked her gently, trying to expel the fear he felt running rampant through her body and mind.
“You are my child, Alexandria, and you always will be. Yes, you are Alexandria Gra
ce Groaban, and that will never change. Your mind is your own, and you know yourself as the person you are. It is your soul which stretches back for millennia, and that is the part of you which I call my daughter.”
“When your soul lived as Arianna before, we had time to learn our way through this together. Now, there are so many other immortal children to help you, and perhaps we can find our way this time with their assistance. It will make it easier on you to have others who are like you, guiding and teaching you.” He continued to rock Alex and soothe her as he spoke.
She thought she must look silly, sitting there on his lap, but at that moment it seemed to be what she needed.
“But I am still not like them, am I? I mean they have always been half human and half angel, never completely human and immortal at the same time. How will they know what I’m feeling and going through? How can you?” Alex leaned back in his arms and looked up into his eyes, searching.
“Yes, you are unique, Alexandria, but then again you always were. You were the first and the most powerful of all Nephilim. You paved the way for the rest and that path is still there, if you want to follow it.”
“If I want to?” Alex asked, both shocked and perplexed. “How do I have a choice, Ganymede? I mean, avoiding this truth for all these years has made me a target. How can I hide now?”
“Alexandria, I made sure that Bertrand never had the opportunity to go and relay to anyone else that he had found you. Though you do look as you did before, we have kept you shielded for all of these years. We could still do that for you. I believe now that Arianna knew exactly what she was asking for when she requested to come back as a human. She always wanted a choice in her destiny, an alternative view, if you will.”
“There are challenges which immortal children face that can wear on a soul over time. As the oldest, she did become weary at times and wanted an end to much of the violence and heartache she witnessed,” he said sadly. Ganymede stared into the distance as if he was seeing into the past and looking at Arianna once more.
Alexandria sat up straighter in Ganymede’s arms, causing him to refocus on her face. “Ganymede, how will this work for us? I don’t know what to say to you or what to do. I mean, I do feel a connection to you – I always have – but I have a father and mother. How do I just leave them and come with you, if that’s what I want to do? And right now, I’m not sure if I should agree to embrace this or not. I feel shocked honestly, but I cannot lie to you and give you false promises about the future.”
Ganymede smiled warmly at her as he said, “Thank you for your honesty, Alexandria. It means more to me than you know. I think the best thing for us both is for you to meet with the other Nephilim, get to know them and allow them to introduce you to some of the possibilities open to immortal children. Then, after you feel you have a good idea what it means to accept this life, you can make your choice.”
“But I do have a choice still?” she questioned him, pressing to make sure she had this verified.
“Of course, my dear. You have free will, and you can choose which path you want to follow. No one, not an angel, not an immortal child, no one would dare to interfere with the free will that the Lord promises to all of His children. He does not force humans or Nephilim into any choice or path in this life or beyond. God loves us all as His children, and therefore He wants us to be free and happy, not under His direct control pining away for freedom.” Ganymede looked as if he wanted to add more, but held back for some reason.
“Oh,” Alexandria whispered.
So she still had a grace period, a chance to bow out if she needed to. But would she want to once she met the others, Alex wondered. She thought again of her brothers’ laughter and easy banter. She thought of her parents sitting inside and Jameason’s plucky, sassy leadership of their household. She owed it to them to find a way to keep them safe. All of the unconditional love they had shared through all of the years meant something profound to Alex. She would lay down her life if it came to that to ensure their continued happiness.
Alexandria scooted off of Ganymede’s lap to sit beside him once more and looked from her home back up to his face. “I’m through with the what ifs for now Ganymede. I said I wasn’t running and I will hold to that. How do we go about a meeting with the other Nephilim? I don’t know how I will get around my parents or their security guards. In fact, I’m not sure how I’ve been allowed outside alone for so long this afternoon.”
She wrinkled her nose at him and gave him a wry smile. “You wouldn’t have had anything to do with that, would you now?” They both chuckled then, knowing full well he had orchestrated their privacy.
“Oh, sweet Alexandria, that is a sound I love to hear. And I hope to hear more of your laughter and happiness in the future.” He leaned forward and cupped her cheek and chin in his hand. Earnestly, Ganymede looked into her eyes, imploring Alex to hear his every word.
“As we move into the days ahead, I want you to know that I am placing no expectations or demands on you, Alexandria. You please me by just being here, and whatever choices you make about your future, I know that you will choose the path and destiny you feel is right. You only have to follow your heart and conscience, and that will be enough. Do you understand?” He held his breath as he waited for her to agree.
“Yes,” she breathed out, “I do understand. Thank you for skipping the guilt trips. I don’t think I could stand the weight of them, honestly. I think it would be too much for me right now.”
“There is no pressure from me, I promise.” Ganymede smiled and released her chin.
Alexandria remembered something he had mentioned earlier in their conversation.
“You said the other immortal children wanted and needed Arianna back. Are they expecting me to be her when I arrive?” Alex knew that would be a huge burden to bear right from the start.
“No,” he said vehemently, shaking his head. “They and their immortal fathers understand what is at stake here. They will not frighten you away by expecting what was. They know that we are embarking on a new journey together. They want that as much as I do so, they will accept you for who you are, Alexandria.”
“Okay.” She smiled tentatively up at him. “I can agree to a meeting on those terms. When and how shall I go?” Alex chewed her bottom lip, waiting to hear how it all might play out.
“I have asked John Holbrook to come to your parents’ home this evening. He will suggest a retreat for you to go to before heading back to New York. The property you will travel to has served as a meeting place for the immortals for numerous years, and many other Nephilim will gather there to greet you. They are anxious to see you, dear one. As for the security team, well, you will see that our powers of persuasion can be quite effective,” he added with a twinkle in his eyes.
Alex chuckled and shook her head at him as if in reprimand. But the truth was, she was glad to have his help. She had tried to imagine how her family was going to handle her leaving after the holidays, but with Ganymede’s and John’s help, perhaps it would not be too painful a parting for them.
“Thank you for coming once again, Ganymede. I’m glad to know who you really are now, and I look forward to learning about our past together.” Alex patted his hand, amazed at how much she seemed to be touching him that day, and how he allowed it. It seemed that Ganymede was hungry to reconnect with her as well. Well, if she was his child in some way, he must have missed talking to her like this, she mused.
“Will I see you at this retreat? I know that by the time I get there, I’ll have a million more questions, but my head seems kind of full right now. You’ve given me a lot to think about.” Alex hoped that he would be there because she really trusted Ganymede, and she wanted him close at the moment.
“My dear, I am always a breath away. You need not fear what is to come. You are safe and protected. Go and meet with them, and then yes, you will see me again,” Ga
nymede reassured Alex once more.
“Now, I must take my leave,” he said gently as he stood. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her hair, then smoothed it back over her shoulders. “Alexandria, I love you, and I am proud of you. Remember that always.”
Ganymede took a step back from Alex, and she noticed that the ground around them was slowly becoming covered in snow once more. She could no longer hear the birds, and the butterflies had disappeared. Ganymede himself was becoming harder to see.
“Thank you,” whispered Alexandria, and with that, he was gone.
Chapter 8