“We have a few minutes until everyone else arrives,” he said. “Can I talk to you about something?”
“Sure.” She followed him to the chairs by the window and settled down across from him. He reached for her hand, his eyes on their fingers as they intertwined. His expression had turned serious.
“Jovita is probably dead, isn’t she?” he asked quietly.
“Yes. She was alive the last time I saw her, but I can’t imagine she still is. Olivia isn’t good at keeping humans alive.” She said the last sentence apologetically.
“I considered killing her a few weeks ago. I had soldiers following her. They could have gotten to her. It seemed like a pretty good option, considering I failed in killing her at the fortress.”
“I thought you decided not to kill her, not that you failed.”
“I didn’t so much decide not to as . . . chicken out,” he said.
“That’s not a bad thing.”
“It felt like a bad thing. After Jovita left here and started gathering people to fight against me, it felt like I was an idiot.” He let go of her hand and sat back in his chair. “This is going to sound terrible.”
“I’ve said plenty of terrible things to you.”
He laughed suddenly, some of the weight leaving his expression. “Like what?”
“I think I once told you that I didn’t regret killing anyone, that they had it coming.”
“You did say that, didn’t you?”
“It was a lie.”
“I know.”
She smiled at him. “What’s the terrible thing?”
“I sort of understand my father. And Olivia. Why they chose to just kill instead of negotiating. It’s easier, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” She took in a ragged breath. Just the mention of Olivia’s name made her want to curl into a ball and cry. And then flee the castle to search for her.
“It was hard to shake the feeling that I should just have Jovita killed. The law was even on my side.”
“The law was on your father’s side as well, when he killed the Ruined. It is technically still Lera law that all Ruined have to be exterminated, right?”
Cas nodded solemnly.
“Then clearly you can’t always rely on your old laws. They might be wrong. They might need to be changed.”
“I didn’t do it, obviously,” Cas said. “I hesitated until it was too late, and she’d partnered with Olso and Vallos.”
“You shouldn’t consider your hesitance to kill people a weakness, Cas. When I came here, after I killed Mary, I was horrified to realize I’d become like the king by killing Mary. Olivia has certainly become everything she claims to hate.” She swallowed hard. “And I don’t want to do that. I imagine you don’t, either.”
He shook his head. “No. But I was a little surprised by how I felt, after everything settled down and we got word of Jovita still trying to take the throne. I felt weak, like I had never really punished her for convincing everyone I’d lost my mind and poisoning me. I wanted revenge. I wanted to show her that I had the power now.”
“I know a little bit about that feeling.”
“I know you do.” He studied her. “I empathized with you before, but I think it was the first time I really understood you. Once I had somewhere to direct my anger, I wanted to embrace it. It felt better to embrace it.”
“Only at first.”
“What if I’d been horrible?” he asked. “If you’d come here as Mary and discovered I was just like my father, what would you have done?”
She started to reach for the necklace that no longer hung around her neck. It was upstairs, buried in the bottom of a bag. She dropped her hand into her lap. “I think I would have done it.”
“What is it? You never told me the details of the plan, the way it was supposed to go.”
“Are you sure you want to hear?”
“Yes.”
She hesitated for a moment, but she knew that at this point, there was nothing she could say that was going to scare him. He knew everything she’d done, and he didn’t judge her for it.
“It was flexible, because we knew we’d have to work around guards and take opportunities as they came up. Ideally, we wanted to kill all or most of the royal family right as Olso was attacking. It would have thrown the castle into total disarray at the exact right moment. I would have killed you in your bed. I wouldn’t have needed to talk to you first, to explain. I would have been fine killing you quickly.”
He actually looked a little amused by that, and she went on.
“Same with Jovita. I would have tried to sneak up on her in some way. I might have asked Aren to take care of her—he was assigned to protect her a couple of times while we were here. Same with the queen. It would have been Aren, or maybe Iria and the other warriors. The king would have been last, and he would have been mine. I wanted to talk to him first, to tell him who I was.” She would not have been kind, or quick, but she didn’t think it was right to say that to Cas. He probably knew anyway.
“And do you think it would have made you feel better?” he asked. “If we were all just as horrible as you imagined, and you killed us like that?”
“At first,” she said. “I think that night, when you all died and Olso claimed the castle, would have felt like a victory. The feeling probably would have lasted through saving Olivia, and as we traveled back to Ruina. But eventually, I would have had the same realization. That by using the king’s violent tactics, I’d become exactly like him. He killed because he was scared. I killed in revenge. Different reasons, but they have the same ending. I like to think of your father as pure evil, but do you really think he felt entirely comfortable with what he’d done?”
Cas shook his head. “No. I think he became even more stubborn because it was too terrifying to consider that he’d made a mistake.”
“It’s easier not to think about it. To just make the decision and stick with it, no matter who you meet, what new things you learn.” She said her next words gently. “Do you think you got so mad at Jovita because you weren’t allowed to get mad at me?”
His eyes quickly shifted to hers. “I’m allowed to be mad at you. I was mad at you. You remember.”
“I remember you forgiving me pretty quickly too.”
“I thought you deserved forgiveness. I believed that you really had feelings for me.”
“I’m just saying, you lost both your parents and your country was invaded. You forgave me, the Olso warriors retreated as soon as you arrived, and you’d never blame the Ruined as a whole, not after what your father did to them. So all you had left is Jovita. It was easier to put all your anger on her, wasn’t it?”
He paused for a moment. “Yes. I hadn’t considered that.” A small smile crossed his lips. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. I was trying to find someone to talk to about this the past few days, and there’s no one who . . .”
“Who has killed people in a vengeful rage?” she guessed.
He laughed softly. “No. There’s no one who will give me an honest opinion, even if it’s uncomfortable. And no one else who can really understand what I’m feeling.”
“I’m sorry I can understand what you’re feeling. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”
He lifted a shoulder in a small shrug, his gaze shifting to the window. He was different from the boy she’d met months ago, standing silently and sullenly on the castle lawn with his parents. He was even different than the boy she’d known in Vallos, the one who’d tried to give up. He was stronger, but steadier.
She forgot sometimes that he wasn’t very far removed from his parents’ deaths. She hadn’t been nearly as calm as him a few months after her parents died. She’d been angry and difficult, snapping at Aren and Damian, fantasizing about all the ways she could take revenge on the Lerans.
He caught her looking at him, and he cocked his head with a smile, sending butterflies fluttering through her stomach. She held his gaze, watching the way his dark hair fell into his eyes and he tossed it back
with a flick of his head.
“What?” he asked with a laugh.
A knock sounded on the door, and Violet stepped inside, followed by Franco. Em stood and greeted them, and Violet managed a small smile when their eyes met. Em knew Violet didn’t like her much, and she couldn’t blame her. Violet’s father had died in the raid on the Lera castle.
But if Em and Violet could smile at each other, maybe there was hope for the rest of them.
Violet and Franco took the other two seats by the window.
“Thank you for meeting with us,” Violet said. “We’ve discussed some things with Cas and the advisers, and we thought it was best if we talked to you alone before doing larger meetings with the Ruined.”
“Of course.”
“First of all, we’d like to get the Ruined and our soldiers training together. I understand that Olivia was the one in charge of training the Ruined?” Violet asked.
“She was.”
“Is there anyone who you would trust to take charge here? Work with General Amaro on some strategies?”
“I think Mariana would be good at that. And one of the Ruined who can manipulate the body. Gisela, maybe.”
“Good. Let us know who and we’ll set up a meeting.”
“Do you know where the Olso and Vallos troops are right now?” Em asked.
“We had reports of them a bit north of where you attacked them, but we haven’t heard from a messenger recently. It’s possible Olivia got them.”
“Entirely possible,” Em said with a sigh.
“But we know for sure that Olivia is coming here eventually, because . . .” Violet let her voice trail off.
“Because she wants to kill me,” Em finished. She swallowed down a sudden lump in her throat.
“She wants to kill all of us,” Cas said. “Let’s not blame it all on Em.”
“Right. Sorry, I didn’t mean that,” Violet said.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s just that regardless of what happens with the human troops, Olivia and the other Ruined are coming. We want to be prepared.”
“How is the Weakling coming?” Franco asked.
“We set up a workstation and recruited some guards and staff to help,” Em said. “We’re lining shields and some armor. It shouldn’t take long.”
“Then the last thing we need to discuss is your marriage,” Franco said.
Cas looked at Franco quickly, like he hadn’t been expecting that. “I told you I wanted to wait on those discussions.”
“I know,” Franco said. “But we’ve been discussing the Ruined request to strip the monarchy of some of its power, and we need to know about your marriage plans. Everyone agrees that your marriage isn’t legal, since Em’s name isn’t on the document. You’ll need to draw up new documents if you’d like to marry again.”
“We’re not even entirely sure you’ll have enough support to get married,” Violet said carefully. “We don’t even know the Ruined’s opinion on that matter.”
Em didn’t know their opinion either. She had carefully avoided asking anyone, afraid of the answer.
“We need to know if this is something we should be fighting for,” Franco said. He looked at Cas, and then Em. “Do you want to marry again?”
Heat rose up Em’s cheeks. Yes. The word was on the tip of her tongue, but it was too awkward to say it in front of Franco and Violet. This conversation needed to happen in private with Cas first.
“Let’s pick up that discussion tomorrow,” Cas said, avoiding Em’s gaze. Franco looked surprised, but said nothing.
“Let’s talk about supplies, then,” Violet said. “I’m working on getting some clothing and other things for the Ruined, but we—” She stopped as a knock sounded at the door.
“Come in!” Cas called.
A young man stepped inside, his eyes wide and his breathing a bit heavy. Em tensed and began mapping a route in her head back to Cas’s bedroom, where she’d left her sword.
The man stepped inside, extending an envelope to Cas. “The king of Olso was just at the gates. He has a message for you.”
THIRTY
“LET US GO with you. We’ll stay back. August will never see us.”
Cas shook his head as he shrugged into his coat. Em made an exasperated noise and plunked down on the edge of his bed.
“The message said not to bring any Ruined. That he’ll consider it an act of war,” Cas said. The note from August had been short, but clear:
King Casimir—Meet me after sundown in the clearing by the mill to discuss a peace treaty. If you bring any Ruined to this meeting, I will consider it an act of war.
“It’s a trap,” Em said.
He turned to face her. “I’m bringing an army of guards with me. And we already sent people out there to make sure it isn’t an ambush. The Olso army isn’t anywhere nearby. August came alone.”
Em let out a breath, clearly frustrated. “You can’t trust him.”
“I know. But he’s offered peace talks, and I can’t decline the invitation.”
“The proper thing to do would be for him to come here, to the castle, if he was truly serious about peace talks.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s so immature, sending you a note to meet him at a secret location.”
“Nothing you have ever told me about August makes me think he’s mature.”
“Good point.”
“Besides, the Ruined are here in the castle, and he seems very concerned about that. We could have one of them snap his neck as soon as he walked through the door.”
“I considered it. Gisela would be happy to do it.” Em couldn’t say it with a straight face. August didn’t know Em well if that was truly the reason he didn’t want to come to the castle. She would never have him killed on sight. She’d at least talk to him for a few minutes first.
He leaned down and kissed her. “This may take a while, so try to get some sleep. I’ll fill you in on what happened tomorrow and we can talk about . . . other things.”
She nodded. She knew what other things he was referring to.
Do you want to marry again? The question had sent an unexpected blast of terror down Cas’s spine. He thought he had more time. He thought they’d deal with Olivia first, and the Olso and Vallos armies, and settle into a regular life. He thought there would be hours of negotiations with the Ruined and a few formal dinner parties and plenty of time to show Em that this could work.
Instead, she was supposed to decide the day after arriving in the castle. And he was terrified of the answer. Em had never given him any indication she thought that their marriage was a realistic option, even after deciding to partner with him against Olivia. He’d told her that he loved her, and that he wanted to marry her weeks ago, during Olivia’s raid on the castle. She had never given him a response, on either point.
He said good-bye and rushed out of the room. Maybe he was a bit grateful for the timing of August’s note. He could delay hearing Em’s answer for a little while longer.
Outside, he found his horse saddled and ready to go. Twenty guards were traveling with him, with more spread out in every direction, many of them out of view. If August was indeed trying to lead them into a trap, he would have a very hard time succeeding.
The meeting spot was less than an hour’s ride, and it was dark by the time they arrived. They didn’t light a torch, instead waiting silently in the darkness. The sliver of moon provided minimal light, but it was so quiet in the open field that it would be near impossible for August to sneak up on them.
Cas didn’t dismount his horse, prepared to bolt at the slightest hint of trouble. The minutes ticked by, stretching into hours. He arched his back, annoyed. Perhaps the trick had been just to make him wait for no reason.
Finally, horses appeared out of the trees. August rode in front, flanked by a dozen warriors on either side. Several carried torches, the fire lighting up their faces as they approached.
Cas let August dismount his horse first, then did the same. Several guards f
ollowed him as he walked to the king of Olso, Jorge so close he kept brushing Cas’s right arm. August had a warrior on either side of him as he walked forward.
Cas had seen August only from a distance—a few times through the windows of his house in Sacred Rock, and again when he’d kidnapped Em. He was thinner, his cheeks sunken, and dark circles under his eyes. His blond hair looked greasy.
“Hello, Casimir,” August said as they both came to a stop. “Nice to see you again.”
“Have you seen me before?”
“Yes. You were barely conscious and mumbling Emelina’s name, so I suppose you don’t remember.” Perhaps the words were meant to be light, but Cas detected a trace of bitterness.
“I don’t remember, but that does sound like me.”
Behind him, he heard a sound like a guard trying not to laugh. August didn’t look amused.
“I’ve come to talk to negotiate peace between our two kingdoms,” August said. “Are you open to that?”
“Of course.”
“You heard we were ambushed by the Ruined in the jungle?”
“I did. I heard you left my cousin to die.”
“She’s been trying to take the throne from you. You could say I did you a favor.”
Cas just stared at him.
“I was only partnered with Jovita because she agreed to help me kill the Ruined. I don’t care who rules Lera, as long as it’s not a Ruined.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I know that Em and some of the Ruined are in the castle.”
“They are.”
“And the rest of them are with Olivia somewhere. They’re divided. Together, we could defeat the Ruined for good.”
“You mean all the Ruined, don’t you?” Cas asked. “Not just Olivia.”
“All the Ruined,” he confirmed with a nod. “I will allow you to spare only Em, as long as you don’t have children. You’ll have to produce heirs with a human.”
“How kind of you,” Cas said dryly.
August’s jaw twitched. “They killed my entire family, Casimir. Even the children.”
Cas tried to hide the twinge of sympathy he felt for August. “I know that Olivia did that, but you can’t blame all of the Ruined for the actions of a few.”