I.
There was no part of Paula's journey in which Somerset did not think ofher. He imagined her in the hotel at Havre, in her brief rest at Paris;her drive past the Place de la Bastille to the Boulevart Mazas to takethe train for Lyons; her tedious progress through the dark of a winternight till she crossed the isothermal line which told of the beginningof a southern atmosphere, and onwards to the ancient blue sea.
Thus, between the hours devoted to architecture, he passed the nextthree days. One morning he set himself, by the help of John, to practiseon the telegraph instrument, expecting a message. But though he watchedthe machine at every opportunity, or kept some other person on the alertin its neighbourhood, no message arrived to gratify him till after thelapse of nearly a fortnight. Then she spoke from her new habitation ninehundred miles away, in these meagre words:--
'Are settled at the address given. Can now attend to any inquiry aboutthe building.'
The pointed implication that she could attend to inquiries about nothingelse, breathed of the veritable Paula so distinctly that he couldforgive its sauciness. His reply was soon despatched:--
'Will write particulars of our progress. Always the same.'
The last three words formed the sentimental appendage which she hadassured him she could tolerate, and which he hoped she might desire.
He spent the remainder of the day in making a little sketch to show whathad been done in the castle since her departure. This he despatched witha letter of explanation ending in a paragraph of a different tenor:--
'I have demonstrated our progress as well as I could; but anothersubject has been in my mind, even whilst writing the former. Askyourself if you use me well in keeping me a fortnight before you so muchas say that you have arrived? The one thing that reconciled me to yourdeparture was the thought that I should hear early from you: my idea ofbeing able to submit to your absence was based entirely upon that.
'But I have resolved not to be out of humour, and to believe that yourscheme of reserve is not unreasonable; neither do I quarrel with yourinjunction to keep silence to all relatives. I do not know anything Ican say to show you more plainly my acquiescence in your wish "not to gotoo far" (in short, to keep yourself dear--by dear I mean not cheap--youhave been dear in the other sense a long time, as you know), than by noturging you to go a single degree further in warmth than you please.'
When this was posted he again turned his attention to her walls andtowers, which indeed were a dumb consolation in many ways for the lackof herself. There was no nook in the castle to which he had not accessor could not easily obtain access by applying for the keys, and thispropinquity of things belonging to her served to keep her image beforehim even more constantly than his memories would have done.
Three days and a half after the despatch of his subdued effusion thetelegraph called to tell him the good news that
'Your letter and drawing are just received. Thanks for the latter. Willreply to the former by post this afternoon.'
It was with cheerful patience that he attended to his three draughtsmenin the studio, or walked about the environs of the fortress during thefifty hours spent by her presumably tender missive on the road. A lightfleece of snow fell during the second night of waiting, inverting theposition of long-established lights and shades, and lowering to a dingygrey the approximately white walls of other weathers; he could trace thepostman's footmarks as he entered over the bridge, knowing them by thedot of his walking-stick: on entering the expected letter was waitingupon his table. He looked at its direction with glad curiosity; it wasthe first letter he had ever received from her.
'HOTEL ---, NICE,
Feb. 14.
'MY DEAR MR. SOMERSET' (the 'George,' then, to which she had so kindlytreated him in her last conversation, was not to be continued in blackand white),--
'Your letter explaining the progress of the work, aided by the sketchenclosed, gave me as clear an idea of the advance made since mydeparture as I could have gained by being present. I feel everyconfidence in you, and am quite sure the restoration is in good hands.In this opinion both my aunt and my uncle coincide. Please actentirely on your own judgment in everything, and as soon as you give acertificate to the builders for the first instalment of their money itwill be promptly sent by my solicitors.
'You bid me ask myself if I have used you well in not sendingintelligence of myself till a fortnight after I had left you. Now,George, don't be unreasonable! Let me remind you that, as a certainapostle said, there are a thousand things lawful which are notexpedient. I say this, not from pride in my own conduct, but to offeryou a very fair explanation of it. Your resolve not to be out of humourwith me suggests that you have been sorely tempted that way, else whyshould such a resolve have been necessary?
'If you only knew what passes in my mind sometimes you would perhapsnot be so ready to blame. Shall I tell you? No. For, if it is a greatemotion, it may afford you a cruel satisfaction at finding I sufferthrough separation; and if it be a growing indifference to you, it willbe inflicting gratuitous unhappiness upon you to say so, if you care forme; as I SOMETIMES think you may do A LITTLE.'
('O, Paula!' said Somerset.)
'Please which way would you have it? But it is better that youshould guess at what I feel than that you should distinctly know it.Notwithstanding this assertion you will, I know, adhere to your firstprepossession in favour of prompt confessions. In spite of that, I fearthat upon trial such promptness would not produce that happiness whichyour fancy leads you to expect. Your heart would weary in time, and whenonce that happens, good-bye to the emotion you have told me of. Imaginesuch a case clearly, and you will perceive the probability of what Isay. At the same time I admit that a woman who is ONLY a creature ofevasions and disguises is very disagreeable.
'Do not write VERY frequently, and never write at all unless you havesome real information about the castle works to communicate. I willexplain to you on another occasion why I make this request. You willpossibly set it down as additional evidence of my cold-heartedness.If so you must. Would you also mind writing the business letter onan independent sheet, with a proper beginning and ending? Whether youinclose another sheet is of course optional.--Sincerely yours, PAULAPOWER.'
Somerset had a suspicion that her order to him not to neglect thebusiness letter was to escape any invidious remarks from her uncle. Hewished she would be more explicit, so that he might know exactly howmatters stood with them, and whether Abner Power had ever ventured toexpress disapproval of him as her lover.
But not knowing, he waited anxiously for a new architectural event onwhich he might legitimately send her another line. This occurred abouta week later, when the men engaged in digging foundations discoveredremains of old ones which warranted a modification of the original plan.He accordingly sent off his professional advice on the point, requestingher assent or otherwise to the amendment, winding up the inquiry with'Yours faithfully.' On another sheet he wrote:--'Do you suffer from anyunpleasantness in the manner of others on account of me? If so, informme, Paula. I cannot otherwise interpret your request for the separatesheets. While on this point I will tell you what I have learnt relativeto the authorship of that false paragraph about your engagement. Itwas communicated to the paper by your uncle. Was the wish father to thethought, or could he have been misled, as many were, by appearances atthe theatricals?
'If I am not to write to you without a professional reason, surelyyou can write to me without such an excuse? When you write tell me ofyourself. There is nothing I so much wish to hear of. Write a great dealabout your daily doings, for my mind's eye keeps those sweet operationsmore distinctly before me than my bodily sight does my own.
'You say nothing of having been to look at the chapel-of-ease I toldyou of, the plans of which I made when an architect's pupil, working inmetres instead of feet and inches, to my immense perplexity, that thedrawings might be understood by the foreign workmen. Go there and tellme what you think of its design. I can assure you that every curvethereo
f is my own.
'How I wish you would invite me to run over and see you, if only fora day or two, for my heart runs after you in a most distracted manner.Dearest, you entirely fill my life! But I forget; we have resolvednot to go VERY FAR. But the fact is I am half afraid lest, with suchreticence, you should not remember how very much I am yours, and withwhat a dogged constancy I shall always remember you. Paula, sometimes Ihave horrible misgivings that something will divide us, especially ifwe do not make a more distinct show of our true relationship. True do Isay? I mean the relationship which I think exists between us, but whichyou do not affirm too clearly.--Yours always.'
Away southward like the swallow went the tender lines. He wondered ifshe would notice his hint of being ready to pay her a flying visit, ifpermitted to do so. His fancy dwelt on that further side of France,the very contours of whose shore were now lines of beauty for him.He prowled in the library, and found interest in the mustiest factsrelating to that place, learning with aesthetic pleasure that the numberof its population was fifty thousand, that the mean temperature of itsatmosphere was 60 degrees Fahrenheit, and that the peculiarities of amistral were far from agreeable.
He waited overlong for her reply; but it ultimately came. After theusual business preliminary, she said:--
'As requested, I have visited the little church you designed. It gave megreat pleasure to stand before a building whose outline and details hadcome from the brain of such a valued friend and adviser.'
('Valued friend and adviser,' repeated Somerset critically.)
'I like the style much, especially that of the windows--Early Englishare they not? I am going to attend service there next Sunday, BECAUSEYOU WERE THE ARCHITECT, AND FOR NO GODLY REASON AT ALL. Does thatcontent you? Fie for your despondency! Remember M. Aurelius: "This isthe chief thing: Be not perturbed; for all things are of the natureof the Universal." Indeed I am a little surprised at your havingforebodings, after my assurance to you before I left. I have none. Myopinion is that, to be happy, it is best to think that, as we are theproduct of events, events will continue to produce that which is inharmony with us.... You are too faint-hearted, and that's the truth ofit. I advise you not to abandon yourself to idolatry too readily; youknow what I mean. It fills me with remorse when I think how very farbelow such a position my actual worth removes me.
'I should like to receive another letter from you as soon as you havegot over the misgiving you speak of, but don't write too soon. I wish Icould write anything to raise your spirits, but you may be so perversethat if, in order to do this, I tell you of the races, routs, scenery,gaieties, and gambling going on in this place and neighbourhood (intowhich of course I cannot help being a little drawn), you may declarethat my words make you worse than ever. Don't pass the line I have setdown in the way you were tempted to do in your last; and not too manyDearests--at least as yet. This is not a time for effusion. You have myvery warm affection, and that's enough for the present.'
As a love-letter this missive was tantalizing enough, but since its formwas simply a continuation of what she had practised before she left,it produced no undue misgiving in him. Far more was he impressed by heromitting to answer the two important questions he had put to her. First,concerning her uncle's attitude towards them, and his conduct in givingsuch strange information to the reporter. Second, on his, Somerset's,paying her a flying visit some time during the spring. Since she hadrequested it, he made no haste in his reply. When penned, it ran inthe words subjoined, which, in common with every line of theircorrespondence, acquired from the strangeness of subsequentcircumstances an interest and a force that perhaps they did notintrinsically possess.
'People cannot' (he wrote) 'be for ever in good spirits on this gloomyside of the Channel, even though you seem to be so on yours. However,that I can abstain from letting you know whether my spirits are good orotherwise, I will prove in our future correspondence. I admire you moreand more, both for the warm feeling towards me which I firmly believeyou have, and for your ability to maintain side by side with it so muchdignity and resolution with regard to foolish sentiment. Sometimes Ithink I could have put up with a little more weakness if it had broughtwith it a little more tenderness, but I dismiss all that when I mentallysurvey your other qualities. I have thought of fifty things to say toyou of the TOO FAR sort, not one of any other; so that your prohibitionis very unfortunate, for by it I am doomed to say things that do notrise spontaneously to my lips. You say that our shut-up feelings are notto be mentioned yet. How long is the yet to last?
'But, to speak more solemnly, matters grow very serious with us,Paula--at least with me: and there are times when this restraint isreally unbearable. It is possible to put up with reserve when thereserved being is by one's side, for the eyes may reveal what the lipsdo not. But when she is absent, what was piquancy becomes harshness,tender railleries become cruel sarcasm, and tacit understandingsmisunderstandings. However that may be, you shall never be able toreproach me for touchiness. I still esteem you as a friend; I admire youand love you as a woman. This I shall always do, however unconfiding youprove.'