The thought made her sorrow turn to anger. Poor little Tsandor! She’d wanted so badly to be there for him, even if Commander Sazar wasn’t. She’d promised herself he wouldn’t spend Christmas alone and now he would do exactly that, because Sarah was going to be leaving the Mother Ship—sent back down to Earth with no way to contact the lonely, love-starved little boy.
Sarah brooded about that and wiped at her eyes with the long sleeves of the red sweater she’d pulled on after taking off the Alquon breeding outfit. It wasn’t fair—wasn’t right. Not just to her but to Tsandor too.
As her anger built, Sazar placed a terse call to the Mother Ship to fold space for them. Before Sarah knew it, they were entering the fold in space—which looked like a bloody red gash in the endless blackness. When they came out on the other end, an incoming call from Commander Sylvan came up on the viewscreen.
“Commander Sazar,” the blond Kindred said, looking slightly perturbed. “You are back more quickly than we anticipated. May I ask how your mission to Alquon Ultrea went?”
“Regrettably not well,” Sazar said, scowling. “I did not see anything that would help us in our war against the Hive. And The Lord Magnate, ruler of the Alquons, has elected not to make a trade with us on the basis that we Kindred mate for life and object to trading partners and living a polyamorous lifestyle.”
“Ah, I see.” Sylvan’s pale blue eyes were sharp. “I perceive that there is more to this than you are telling me now, but you can unburden yourself further during your debriefing, Commander Sazar.”
“Thank you.” Sazar stared to cut the communication but Sarah spoke up.
“Commander Sylvan, I have a favor to ask.”
“Yes?” Sylvan raised an eyebrow at her. “Sarah, isn’t it? My wife Sophia and her sister Olivia and their friend Kat will be glad to see you again. Would you like me to have them come meet you at the docking bay?”
“No thank you,” Sarah said, although her throat got tight at the idea of leaving yet more friends behind, never to be seen again. “What I’d like to ask is that someone take me back to Earth as soon as possible.”
“What?” Sylvan looked genuinely surprised. “Did you leave something there that you need to bring back to the Mother Ship?”
“No.” Sarah looked straight ahead at the viewscreen although she could feel Sazar’s eyes on her. “I just need to go home. I won’t…” Her voice almost broke and she had to swallow hard before she could continue. “I won’t be working for Commander Sazar anymore.”
“And may I ask why not?” Sylvan asked, raising one pale blonde eyebrow.
Sazar started to speak but Sarah beat him to it.
“Just like the Alquon mission,” she said, shrugging stonily. “It didn’t work out.”
“I am sorry to hear that,” Commander Sylvan said gravely. “More sorry than I can say. But I know Sophia and the rest will at least want to come and say goodbye to you.”
“Please don’t let them.” Sarah was losing it now, the tears filling her eyes. She blinked rapidly and took a deep breath. “Please, I…I can’t take any more goodbyes right now.”
“All right.” Sylvan sighed. “But know that you’re welcome back aboard the Mother Ship at any time.”
“Thank you.” Sarah lifted her chin. “I appreciate that, Commander Sylvan. And please thank Sophie and Liv and Kat for all their kindness to me.”
“I will certainly pass on the message,” Sylvan said gravely.
“And please tell…” Sarah took another deep breath. “Please ask Sophie to give Tsandor a hug for me.”
“Tsandor? You mean…” Sylvan’s eyes cut towards Sazar whose face was like stone.
“Commander, I must cut the com-link now,” he said, his deep voice absolutely inflectionless. “We will see you in the docking bay.”
Without waiting for an answer, he cut off the communication so that the viewscreen showed the huge white side of the Mother Ship instead of Sylvan’s face. He turned to Sarah who mentally braced herself.
“Why did you ask someone else to convey affection to my child?” he asked in a low, dangerous voice.
“Maybe because you never convey it to him yourself,” Sarah flared. She knew she was feeling angry and hurt and this wasn’t the right time to discuss Tsandor but then, when was the right time?
“What is that supposed to mean?” Sazar spoke in a low growl as he began the landing procedure.
“It means I have something to say to you before I go, Sazar. And you’re going to listen.” Sarah stabbed a finger at him. “And no, it’s not about what happened between us on Alquon Ultrea, which you seem to want to forget and sweep under the rug as fast as you can. It’s about your son.”
“What about my son?” His eyes flashed from pale to red, a sure sign he was upset but Sarah refused to back down.
“You need to go see him. You need to be a dad,” she said, voicing her true feelings on the subject at last. “He’s a sweet little boy and he’s starving for love—the love of his father.” She glared at him. “I had hoped while I was working for you that I could go and see him often and try to fill that gap. But since my employment is apparently terminated, I’m telling you that you need to fill it yourself.”
“You are speaking of things you do not understand.” His voice was low and dangerous but Sarah was too upset to worry about his feelings.
“Oh yes I do understand,” she flared. “About a year after my parents joined The Brotherhood of Peace and dragged me along with them, my dad decided he’d had enough. I begged to go with him—even then I knew it wasn’t right, what we were being subjected to. So what did he do?” She clenched her fists in frustration. “He left, Sazar. Left in the middle of the night and never looked back. He abandoned me the same way you’re abandoning Tsandor by never going to see him, by not giving him the love that he needs.”
“That…is…enough.” Sazar’s voice was a low roar and the ship set down in the docking bay with a harsh metallic clank, as though to emphasize his words. “You will not speak to me so about my son. He is my blood—not yours. You know nothing of him.”
“I know he loves you,” Sarah said quietly. “But he won’t forever. Kids grow up fast, Sazar. Spend time with him while you have a chance.”
Then she unbuckled the flight restraint straps and grabbed her pink carry-all cube.
“Sarah,” he began but she ignored him and climbed out of the ship. She was damned if she’d listen to one more word from the big Kindred bastard.
Sarah had had her say and she was leaving—for good.
Chapter Twenty-four
“I’m sorry to say that it doesn’t appear things went well for you,” Commander Sylvan said neutrally as they watched Sarah climb stiffly into a ship piloted by a Beast Kindred who had orders to take her back down to Earth.
“No,” Sazar growled. “It’ didn’t.”
“What happened?” Sylvan raised one blond eyebrow at him. “If I may ask.”
“As my commanding officer, of course you can ask—though I wish I didn’t have to tell it.” Sazar sighed deeply. “We were put into a…sexual situation there was no getting out of. The Alquons demanded we attend and participate in their ‘Breeding Ball’.”
“They demanded it?” Sylvan frowned.
“On pain of being fed to a very large carnivorous fish,” Sazar said dryly. “I…” He cleared his throat, wishing he didn’t have to say this but knowing he needed to. “I took her virginity,” he said to Sylvan in a low voice. As a fellow Blood Kindred, the other male would understand the gravity of the situation and the great evil Sazar had done.
Sylvan raised both eyebrows in surprise.
“So…you bonded her to you?”
Sazar shook his head. “No, thank the Goddess I at least managed not to do that. I knew she would hate me after what I did—I didn’t want to tie her to me for life on top of it.”
“I see…” Sylvan nodded, his blue eyes thoughtful. “And are you quite certain she hates you now?”
“You saw how eager she was to leave me,” Sazar motioned to the ship which had taken off and was preparing to go through the permeable atmosphere dome.
“Yes, but sometimes with Earth females there can be…misunderstandings. Cultural differences can magnify arguments and grievances,” Sylvan said. “Just because we learn their languages quickly doesn’t mean we understand everything about our Earth females.”
“Sarah isn’t mine—not anymore,” Sazar said bitterly. “And she never will be again. Commander Sylvan, may I be excused? I know we have to do a debriefing but—”
“We’ll do it tomorrow,” Sylvan assured him. “Until then, try to get a good night’s rest. You must be weary.”
“More weary than you know.” Sazar turned away but not before he saw the ship bearing Sarah back to Earth pierce the atmosphere dome and disappear into the darkness of space.
Goodbye Ladara, he thought, his heart filled with sorrow. I’m so sorry for what I did. I hope that someday maybe you can forgive me.
* * * * *
The ride down to Earth was silent and Sarah thanked the driver who nodded casually and immediately took off again, headed back to the Mother Ship. She blinked back tears to see him go and wondered what Sazar was thinking—then pushed the thought away.
Forget him, she told herself. He’s probably already forgotten you.
She set out determinedly for the shelter but she hadn’t even gotten three steps out of the Tampa Human Kindred Relations building before she realized she’d made a big mistake.
Not by telling off Sazar or leaving the Mother Ship—she didn’t regret that for a minute, she told herself. Her mistake had been telling him off and leaving before she got the big Kindred to help her take the Alquon nipple jewelry off.
She was still wearing the gold and diamond breast jewelry under her red sweater and she had no way to take it off herself. Not only that, it made her nipples poke out like two sore thumbs. She hadn’t gone half a block before she noticed men staring at her, their eyes wide as they took in her large breasts and extremely prominent assets.
Sarah marched down the street, trying to ignore them. She also tried to ignore how hot she was. Up on the cool, temperature controlled Mother Ship the fuzzy red long-sleeved sweater had seemed like a perfect choice. Kat had talked her into buying it, assuring her that she looked fabulous in it. But there was a big temperature difference between the Mother Ship and Tampa, Florida.
Even though it was the day before Christmas Eve and the streets were decorated with holiday cheer, the sun beat down mercilessly. It was eighty-five degrees and humid—Sarah was drenched in sweat before she even reached the corner.
She turned down a small side street to get into the shade of one of the larger buildings and continued trudging along. She wished she could change into one of the thinner t-shirts she had also purchased on the Mother Ship but she knew her nipples would be even more prominent in one of those.
I guess I could try to wear a bra over the jewelry and put on a t-shirt over that, she thought doubtfully. But would a bra fit over the breast chain? She was afraid it was more likely that the compression of a bra would cause the chain to tug unmercifully and her nipples were already sore from wearing the gold and diamond bands longer than she should have.
Go back, whispered a little voice in her head. Go back and talk to Sazar. Ask him for help. How are you ever going to get those bands off otherwise?
But her heart was sore and proud and she couldn’t bear the idea of going back to beg the big Kindred’s help. He’d used her and tossed her away, the big jerk! She never wanted to see him again.
But how are you going to get them off yourself? whispered that maddeningly practical little voice. Cut them off? Melt them off?
Just the thought of anything sharp enough or hot enough to cut or melt metal near her sensitive nipples was enough to make her wince. But still she went on.
I’ll go back to the shelter, she told herself stubbornly. Maybe I can get some help there.
Although from whom she had no idea.
She was just thinking that maybe she would duck into a fast food restaurant and at least try to put on a bra so she could wear a thin t-shirt instead of the stifling sweater when a big silver Buick pulled up by the curb next to her in a no parking zone.
At first Sarah paid no attention. She was too busy thinking about how her nipples were being rubbed raw by the rough weave of the sweater and how hot and miserable she felt in the too-hot clothes she had on.
Then a familiar face appeared in front of her.
“Well hello, Sister Sarah,” a man said.
Sarah gasped and her eyes went wide as she recognized Charlie Dearborn, one of the Controllers from The Brotherhood of Peace.
“Is it really her?” Another familiar face poked out of the silver Buick’s driver side window—Amos Hammond, also a Controller.
“It’s her all right. Can’t believe we finally found you, Sister Sarah.” Charlie began stalking towards her. He had close-set eyes in a big, round head and his breath always stank due to his peculiar fondness for raw onion and mustard sandwiches.
The sight of him made Sarah sick. He was one of the men who might have taken her after Father Caleb was done with her. He only had one wife right now and he’d indicated to her on more than one occasion that he wouldn’t mind having her as a second.
“Get back from me. Get away!” Sarah swung the carry-all cube at him, causing him to jump back.
“But we can’t do that, Sister Sarah,” Amos said coaxingly. He got out of the car and began advancing too. He was tall and skinny with big-boned, freckled wrists that always poked too far out of his coat sleeves. His long, skinny fingers reached for her, making Sarah shudder.
“Don’t touch me!” She held the carry-all in front of her menacingly, wishing she had another weapon.
“Father Caleb sent us especially to bring you back to the Compound,” Charlie said.
“I don’t want to go back!” Sarah exclaimed, backing away from them. “And you can’t take me! You don’t own me!”
“Oh yes we do,” Amos hissed, his thin, freckled face twisted in a sneer. “Once the Prophet’s property, always the Prophet’s property. You know that, Sister Sarah.”
“Stop calling me Sister!” Sarah yelled. “I’m not your sister and I don’t belong at the Compound. I hate it there—I always have.”
“Well that’s too bad because you’re going back.” Charlie lunged at her and she swung her case at him again, catching him squarely in his considerable gut with the heavy pink cube.
“Oof!” He stumbled backwards, his face going red. “You’ll pay for that, Sister. When the Prophet is done with you I’ll take you on as a second wife and teach you some manners!”
“Like hell you will!”
Sarah didn’t waste any more words. She dropped the case and ran as fast as she could.
Back to the HKR building, she thought desperately as she pelted down the sidewalk. I have to get back to the HKR building. I’ll be safe there. The Kindred won’t let them take me!
She was just beginning to think she would make it—the larger street she’d left to get out of the sunlight was just ahead—when someone grabbed the back of her sweater and yanked hard.
Sarah was jerked backwards and the neck of the sweater caught her right in the throat. She began to gasp and choke as she was reeled backwards.
“Grab her!” she heard Charlie yell hoarsely.
“I got her—keep your voice down,” Amos hissed. Long, horribly strong, skinny fingers wrapped around her arm.
Sarah did her best to struggle but she was still trying to get her breath back.
“Leave me alone. Help me! Help,” she yelled, or tried to yell anyway.
But the small side street they were on was deserted. Where was everyone anyway? Probably at the mall doing last minute Christmas shopping. Or maybe sitting on their butts at home shopping online. Whichever it was, they weren’t there to hear Sarah shout
ing—no one was.
“Help!” she managed to yell one more time but then Amos’s other hand clamped over her mouth and she was dragged over to the idling Buick.
Before she could do or say anything else, Amos was shoving her in the trunk while Charlie took the wheel.
“Time to go, Sister Sarah,” he said, smirking at her. “After all, you wouldn’t want to miss your chance to be a Bride of the Prophet, would you?”
He and Charlie roared with laughter as the trunk slammed closed, locking her in suffocating darkness.
There was a jolt and Buick sped off down the deserted street, heading for the Compound and the nightmare Sarah had thought she’d left behind her forever.
* * * * *
“Commander Sazar, I’m sorry to bother you so late.” The apologetic voice came from the 3-D viewer on the stand by his bed. A vaguely familiar female face was projected there, seeming to hover in mid-air over the small device. Sazar couldn’t quite place her although he felt like he ought to know her somehow.
“That’s all right—I wasn’t sleeping,” he said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. In fact, sleep was the farthest thing from his mind. Though he had lain down and closed his eyes, he was too tormented by guilt and shame and regret to drift off. He kept seeing the tears in Sarah’s eyes when she’d told him goodbye and wishing he had handled the situation differently.
I should have apologized and begged her forgiveness instead of getting so angry and defensive! I knew she would hate me after I had to take her virginity but I probably made her hate me even more by the way I acted. What’s wrong with me?
His debriefing was tomorrow and he needed to try and get some rest but at this rate, Sazar felt he might never sleep again. So he actually welcomed the call and the interruption of his own tortured thoughts.
“I’m glad I didn’t wake you,” the caller said. “It’s about your son.”
“Tsandor?” A cold fist clenched his heart. “Is he all right? Did he hurt himself? What happened?”
“He’s perfectly fine,” the caller said—now Sazar was able to place her, she worked at the constant care house where Tsandor stayed.