Everyone in my “crew” was cheering and jumping when I won, and Hayden wrapped me in a huge hug the second I hopped off my bike. It was only later, when we were drinking in celebration, that I realized I’d only won because my competition had had something…weird…happen to his bike. Like Hayden said, sometimes weird things happened while racing, but they seemed to happen around him more than anyone else. It was too frequent to be coincidental…which meant it wasn’t. And now the weird things were happening to me too. I was benefiting from something nefarious, from something unnatural. Hayden was the only person I could think of who would want to see me win. And I had no idea what to do about that, because right or wrong, I desperately needed to keep winning.
Chapter 19
Over the next several weeks, Hayden and I kept secretly racing, and I kept winning. Actually, I hadn’t lost a single race since before Monterey, even though there were some races that I never should have won. It was unnerving to know some secret force was helping me, and a part of me felt so dirty, like I was stealing. But I needed the money, so I stayed quiet and didn’t voice my fears or concerns to anyone.
There was no one I could talk to anyway. Except Hayden, and since he might very well be the one behind it all, he wasn’t an option. The dilemma made me feel more tangled up than I’d ever felt before. Because if Hayden really was the reason I was succeeding, then he was also the reason Myles was done for the year. I was betraying one of my best friends every time I talked to Hayden. Every time I joked with him, smiled at him…kissed him. I was a horrible person. While I got ready to head to the practice track, I wondered how long I could keep balancing on this very thin moral line. And which side would I land on when I inevitably fell off?
Myles was stomping around the garage when I got there. His leg was healed now, but his temper wasn’t. Or his determination to make Hayden pay. It was an added stress I didn’t need…because I wasn’t entirely sure that Hayden shouldn’t pay for what had happened to Myles.
Glancing at me, Myles snapped, “I can’t believe it’s been months, and that douche still gets to ride.”
“That’s because he can’t be banned without proof he’s doing something wrong, Myles.” God¸ I hoped my face wasn’t giving anything away; the guilt was eating a hole in my stomach.
Myles scowled. “He’s guilty of something, and I won’t rest until I figure out what.”
He stormed out the door, and the remorse inside me tripled. I hated the fact that I couldn’t truly support Myles in this—I hoped he never got dirt on Hayden; I needed him…and I wanted him to stay. If only Myles could just let the whole thing go. Ruining Hayden’s career wouldn’t help his own anyway, and stewing on it was slowly poisoning him. But I understood why he couldn’t. If someone took racing away from me, even for just a year, I’d be a basket case. And like Myles, I probably wouldn’t stop until I’d had my revenge.
Nikki came in just as Myles was leaving. “What’s eating him?” she asked. Then she sighed. “It’s Hayden, isn’t it? I keep telling him to drop it and move on, and he keeps digging his heels in deeper.”
She slowly shook her head, like she didn’t understand. Sadly, I did, and that was why not being firmly on Myles’s side killed me. “Yeah. He’s desperate to get dirt on him, to get him banned from racing.”
Nikki got real quiet, then she said, “I think it’s time we told Myles about the street racing.”
My heart started thudding so hard, I heard the ocean pounding through my brain. “What?” I squeaked. Does she know what Hayden and I are doing?
Nikki swallowed, like she was nervous. “Remember? Hayden was at that race…the one I dragged you to. I know it will paint us in a bad light, me especially…but I think we should tell Myles about it. And I seriously doubt Hayden has stopped doing it, so Myles might be able to catch him. I’ve still got contacts, I can find out where the next race is.” Her face fell. “Myles will be pissed at me for betting on that crap…but he’ll get his dirt on Hayden, so he’ll get over it.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. Yes, he would definitely get his dirt on Hayden, and he’d also get dirt on me. And once Myles figured out that I’d been lying to him and conspiring with the enemy—and occasionally getting down and dirty with him too—he would write me off as a friend and tell my father about everything I’d done. In his anger, he might tell the officials too. My career would be over, and Cox Racing would be history. I couldn’t let that happen. “I wouldn’t, Nikki. Myles…we’ve had long conversations about street racing before. He really hates it, almost more than my father does. He thinks anyone who participates in it is practically…subhuman. I don’t think he would forgive you.”
God, I sucked. But my words didn’t seem to have the intended effect. Nikki’s face went pale, but her expression hardened, like she was bracing herself for that fate. “If he can’t get over it, then…I guess I’ll just have to deal with that. But I’ve got a way to help Myles, and I’m not going to sit back and do nothing while one of my best friends slowly goes insane. It was a stupid idea anyway. All of it was stupid. I never should have gotten sucked into that world.”
You and me both. Fuck. How could I possibly salvage this? I couldn’t stop racing—I was too close to having enough money to make a real dent in the business’s debt. Hayden couldn’t stop racing—that little girl needed him too much. We both needed time.
Knowing she wasn’t going to like this, I told Nikki, “Okay, but don’t say anything to him yet. Can you wait until after the last race in Jersey?”
Nikki looked like I’d just asked her to make sure my bike failed. “What? Why?”
Holding back tears of frustration and shame, I told her a small, incomplete version of the truth. “I can’t explain why, but I’m better and faster when I’m racing against Hayden. I need him to be in the race if I’m going to save this team. Please?”
Nikki studied my face for long seconds before saying anything. And when she did, I was bombarded with relief. And guilt. “Yeah, okay, Kenzie. I’ll wait until the season is over.”
When I met up with Hayden later that night for another street race, I knew I needed to tell him about what had happened with Nikki. We both needed to get out of illegal racing after Jersey, or everything was going to blow up in our faces. It would be hard to leave that kind of money behind, especially for Hayden, but it was for the best. We couldn’t keep trying to belong in both worlds. Well, I knew I couldn’t. I was alienating my friends and family, lying to almost everyone I knew; I was starting to feel like a stranger in my own skin.
“Hayden…I…”
Before I could tell Hayden anything, Hookup approached us. And he was excited. “Mad Mackenzie! You are not going to believe the news I got for you!”
And you probably won’t believe the news I’ve got for you: I’m quitting, and taking your best rider with me. “What news?” I asked, feeling hollow inside.
“Prepare yourselves for this…The L.A. Mondo is back!”
He said it like I was supposed to know what the hell he was talking about. “What’s that?”
Seeing that I wasn’t impressed, Hookup frowned. “The L.A. Mondo? The biggest street race on the West Coast?” When my face didn’t change, he rolled his eyes. “Fucking rookies. The L.A. Mondo is the biggest and best. Everybody wants in, but hardly anyone can afford it. Just the best of the best make it. The entrance fee is one-hundred K.”
My jaw nearly hit the floor and Hookup finally smiled. “One-hundred thousand dollars to enter?”
Jesus. If I actually won that race I’d have more than enough to save Cox Racing. “I want in,” I told him. And even as I said it, all thoughts of putting aside this seedy world right now left me. One big score, then I can get out. And never look back.
Hookup bumped my fist. “Damn straight I’m getting you in.” He turned to Hayden, who had his calculating eyes on me. “What about you, H? You’re in, right?”
Hayden studied me a moment longer before shifting his gaze to Hookup. “You know what
that money could do for Izzy and Antonia. They wouldn’t need any more for a long time…so of course I’m in.”
I was so relieved to hear him say that. If Izzy wouldn’t need money for a while after he won—and I was sure he’d win—then he wouldn’t need to street race. One more event, and then we’d both be done. And when Hayden was semiretired, I would warn him about Nikki telling Myles all about his illegal career. He probably wouldn’t risk street racing at all after that, and then we’d both be safe…and Myles would be chasing a shadow.
* * *
The race was the night before my sister’s wedding. Probably something I should have considered before I’d said yes. But “the Mondo” was my ticket out, so saying no wasn’t an option. And besides, racing hours didn’t conflict with wedding schedules. I could easily do both. I’d be really tired, but I could catch up on sleep after I’d solved all of the family business’s problems.
After an uneventful wedding rehearsal followed by an extended dinner at a vastly overpriced seafood restaurant, I killed a few hours at home, then headed to L.A. My excitement grew as I rode. This could be it. Everything I needed to save everything I cared about. It was potentially the answer to my prayers. If I could win.
The bright lights of the city showed themselves, and I smiled as I made my way to the meeting place. I was so close to a solution to Cox Racing's problems that I was shaking with excess energy. It took me a while to find the out-of-the-way street that held the starting line, and Hayden was already there by the time I found it. Waving me down, he indicated a small space beside his bike to park. There were so many people here, I felt like half the city had turned up.
Nerves were eating at me as I pulled up beside him, but once I saw his beaming smile, they began to subside. I was a good rider, and I’d gotten considerably better since racing with Hayden. He might have started out as the secret to my success, but regardless of what I’d told Nikki, I was a force to be reckoned with on my own.
“Hey, Twenty-Two, are you ready?” he asked, running a hand through his messy blond hair.
I nodded. “This could change everything for us, Hayden. We could be legit. We could leave this world behind. We could be…”
My voice trailed off as my thought died. Whether we won or lost tonight, it didn’t change the fact that we couldn’t actually be together.
Hayden’s smile fell a little, as if he understood what I’d been thinking. It instantly returned, though. “Yeah, this is the one we’ve been waiting for. An answered prayer…” His voice grew reverent, and for a second, I wasn’t sure if we were still discussing the race. Is that what we are to each other? An answered prayer? That thought felt so right, it scared me.
We were staring at each other, lost in thought, when suddenly Hookup tossed his arms over our shoulders. “This is it, lovebirds! The big kahuna! The one that will place me on the path to greatness.” He lifted his hands and mimed an explosion. “My name in lights, known as the greatest manager in the state.” The way he said “manager” made it sound like “pimp.” It made my skin crawl a lot more than it probably should have.
“Hayden and I are still the ones who need to win. It’s our talent that gives you that…greatness.”
Hookup’s smile was so smooth, I could have ice-skated on it. “That was implied. Your greatness equals my greatness. And vice versa. We’re a team.”
I resisted the urge to tell him that I already had a team. That the entire reason I was doing this in the first place was to help my team. As if he knew I was about to bite, Hayden grabbed my elbow. “When are we up?”
Hookup nodded to the street, where a pair of riders were making their way to a crosswalk. “You’re up after these losers.”
While the riders positioned themselves, a flurry of last-minute betting happened around me. I heard people shouting their bets to Grunts, who wrote each one down in a book. My eyes popped as I heard the numbers being tossed about. Five grand. Ten. Twenty. It was an obscene amount of money to place on happenstance, and it made me wonder…I usually avoided the side bets, but with the amount of money to be made tonight…maybe I should place a bet this time?
On a whim, I turned to Hookup and said, “Place fifteen grand on me. And fifteen on Hayden.”
Hookup smiled and relayed my order to Grunts. “What are you doing?” Hayden hissed in my ear.
“Doubling my money,” I told him. Then ice water flashed through me. If Hayden was hesitant, then maybe I shouldn’t be so confident. I quickly turned back to Hookup. “Wait, I changed my mind. I don’t want to bet.”
With a megawatt grin, Hookup shook his head. “Sorry, sweets. A bet laid is a bet played. You’re in the books.”
Anxiety chewed at my gut as I mulled over what I’d done. Sure, I had enough to cover the amount if I lost the bet, but I needed every penny to give to my father. I’d just have to win. That was all there was to it.
The active betting stopped, and the riders at the start line hunched down in preparation. Once the light changed to green, they’d take off. Wondering what my potential profit might be tonight, I turned to Hookup to ask him if he had any idea. My question was evaporated by a strange squealing sound cutting through the night. When I spun around to see what was going on, I saw lights zipping around a corner, turning onto the street. Bad lights. Blue and red lights. Cop lights.
“Hayden,” I murmured, turning to look at him. I felt like everything was happening in slow motion, like I had turned to ice. No…I couldn’t get busted, couldn’t go to jail. It couldn’t end like this.
Hayden’s eyes widened as he spotted the danger. Then he grabbed my shoulders. “Drive hard, drive fast. And don’t stop until you get home. I’ll meet you there.”
Stubborn refusal to leave without him gripped me, but Hayden shoved me toward my bike before I could object. “Go, Kenzie! I’m right behind you. I promise.”
He headed for his bike, so I took his word for it. Slamming on my helmet, I straddled my bike and started the motorcycle. Throwing it into gear almost in one movement, I lurched forward, onto the sidewalk full of scrambling people. I tried to go around them as carefully as possible, but even still, I clipped a few. I couldn’t take the time to care, though. I needed to get out of here.
When the sidewalk led me to an alley, I hit the gas as hard as it could take it. As I flew down the cracked concrete, I heard the sirens kicking on. Multiple sirens from multiple cops. And from the fluctuating sounds—some closer, some farther—it was clear they were following people; someone was going down tonight.
I couldn’t slow down to see if Hayden was behind me. I just had to hope that he was. I didn’t know the roads well, and as I darted from alley to side street, to yet another vacant alley, I quickly became lost. I could feel people behind me, but I was still too scared to turn and look. My heart was pulsing so fast, it felt like someone was conducting “Flight of the Bumblebee” inside my chest. It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. Tonight was supposed to be the answer to all my problems, not the beginning of them.
Suddenly the alley I was racing down spilled out onto a street I knew. Thank God, escape. Not stopping to make sure the coast was clear, I punched it across two lanes of traffic, then turned left. I heard vehicles honking, screeching to a stop, but no one hit me. My breaths were frantic as I tore along the road. I could have just gotten myself killed, and wasn’t that worse than losing everything? I wasn’t sure.
Regardless, I made myself slow down and scan the street behind me. No cops were chasing me. Oh thank God, no cops were chasing me. My relief didn’t last long, though. I didn’t see Hayden. Shit. I couldn’t leave him behind to get caught, no matter what he said. Wondering if I’d completely lost my mind, I made a U-turn and raced back to the alley I’d escaped from.
I had absolutely no clue how I’d retrace my path to find him, and raced blindly down streets that seemed vaguely familiar. All I knew for sure was that they were leading me back toward the epicenter of danger, not away from it. Every cell in my bod
y was telling me to stop, telling me to quit this insane plan and give up…but I couldn’t leave Hayden behind.
Just when I was positive I was lost in this godforsaken city, I glanced down a side street and saw Hayden zip across the opening. A motorcycle cop followed closely behind him a few seconds later. Shit, shit, shit. What do I do? Leave him, or help him? It really was no question at all. Thick or thin, we were in this together.
Squealing my back tire, I quickly turned the bike around and headed back the way I’d come. Hayden was on a street running parallel to mine. I raced to get ahead of where I thought they might be, then turned left onto a side street that would intersect with theirs. If I timed this right, I’d cut between Hayden and the cop, possibly confusing the officer long enough for Hayden to get away. But then, of course, the cop might come after me…
When I reached the crossing, I slowed down and hoped that this worked. I breathed a quick sigh of relief when I saw Hayden fly by, then I punched it. Praying I didn’t smack into the cop, I pushed my bike to the max. I cut in front of the pursuing police officer with only inches to spare, and as I looked back, I saw the cop slam on his brakes, then fishtail to a stop. I didn’t wait around to see how long it took him to recover.
Forward. Ever forward. Please don’t let him come after me.
It felt like an eternity passed, but finally I pulled onto a street I recognized. And even better, this one had signs for the freeway. I just wanted to get out of the city and leave all of this behind. With a silent prayer, I looked around to see if Hayden had found this street too. I exhaled with relief when I spotted him not too far behind me, and thankfully, alone. Had we actually done it? Actually escaped? I couldn’t believe it, and I was buzzing with anxious energy. I needed to slow down and act natural, though. We needed to act like we weren’t running. And that meant we had to obey traffic laws.