Looking stunned himself, Hayden nodded. “Yeah…I think so. He’s really not as bad as you think,” he quickly added, searching my face.
Giving him a soft kiss, I shook my head. “We’ll just have to agree to disagree on that one.” Keith’s stipulation—so long as I you’re an ex-Cox—rang in my ears, causing a surprising flash of anguish to wash over me. I was no longer a member of Cox Racing. No one was. Shaking off that painful thought, I shifted the conversation. “Did he tell you where you ended up finishing?”
“Sixth. You?” he asked, a small smile on his face.
“Fifth,” I said, my smile uncontainable. My ranking still stunned me. I just wished I’d truly earned it and not been handed it by Hookup’s unwanted “help.”
I thought Hayden might be upset that I’d finished above him, but by his expression, he only seemed happy for me. “Really? That’s amazing, Kenzie.”
His compliment made a bizarre warmth travel through every inch of me; it didn’t exactly match hearing praise from my father, but it was damn close. Dad hadn’t said a word to me after our confrontation in the hospital. He hadn’t even commented on my amazing finish. “Yeah…I guess I broke the record for a female. And a record for Cox. No one’s done it since my dad retired.” And Dad should be proud of me for that fact, not avoiding me.
Leaning over, Hayden grabbed my cheek and pulled my mouth to his for a soft kiss. “That’s great, Kenzie…and sad, all at the same time.” He sighed as he searched my eyes, maybe gauging how I was doing. I was fine. Sort of. “So what are you going to do, now that you’re not racing?” he asked.
“I really don’t know. Track journalist, maybe.”
Hayden gave me a wry smile. “You hate interviews.”
“I hate answering questions,” I said, raising a finger. “Asking them might not be so bad.” Frowning, I dropped my hand. “I just…I still want to be a part of the world.” I couldn’t imagine not going to events, not smelling the exhaust fumes, not hearing the revving engines, not feeling the excitement of the crowd, the anticipation of the racers.
Hayden cracked a smile as he stared at me. “You could always model,” he said with a crooked smile.
I gave him a bright grin in response. “And I could always break your other wrist too.”
Hayden laughed, then grabbed my hand with his good one. “You’ll figure something out, Kenzie. I know you will.” I nodded at his comment. Yeah, I would find a way to move on. I had to. After a second of silence, Hayden softly said, “You know…you could probably work for Keith? You’re an amazing rider. I bet he would hire you, no matter what your dad says to the other teams. You know Keith doesn’t give a shit what your dad thinks.”
I considered that for a moment before I answered him. “Yeah, that’s true…and yeah, Keith probably would take me just to hurt my dad, but…” A rough exhale left me. “I’d rather never get on a bike again than race for that man. I know you like him, but I really can’t—”
Hayden interrupted me with his lips on mine. “I know,” he said when we pulled apart. “It’s okay. Like I said, you’ll find something. Something that works for you.”
I gave him a soft smile, then lowered my head to his shoulder and snuggled into his side. Something that worked for me…that wasn’t racing. Seemed like an impossible combination—racing was all I’d ever wanted to do with my life—but I wasn’t giving up hope yet. I mean, look how far Hayden and I had come. If we could somehow find a way to work things out and be together, then anything could happen. My dream wasn’t over yet.
As I was enjoying a moment of peace with my boyfriend, someone knocked on Hayden’s door. A few seconds later, a pair I hadn’t expected to see stepped into his room: Hookup and Grunts. Grunts looked like he always did—an emotionless rock of a man. Hookup had both hands over his eyes. “Yo, H-man, you decent?” He cracked his fingers to look at Hayden and his amused expression faded. “Oh hey, Felicia Two…didn’t know you were here.”
I immediately jerked upright on the bed, making Hayden flinch in pain. “What the hell are you doing here?” I asked.
Face clouding over, Hookup folded his arms over his chest. “Could ask the same of you, quitter. Here to lead Hayden on, then leave him high and dry? Like you left me?”
“I didn’t…” I forced myself to take a calming breath. “I was done, it had nothing to do with you personally. But you trying to sabotage my bike was most definitely personal!”
Hookup’s face shifted into a picture-perfect look of confusion. “What the hell are you talking about?” He turned to Hayden. “What the hell is she talking about? What did you tell her, dude? You didn’t do that thing again, did you?”
That age-old doubt began to crawl across my skin, but I squeezed Hayden’s hand and pushed it back. Hookup was just trying to save his own ass. Hayden’s eyes narrowed as he studied his friend. “Game’s over, Hookup. I saw you messing with bikes, but I fixed Kenzie’s before you could screw her over too. I’m in here because of you, man. You fucked me over. I thought we were friends, but I guess I was wrong.”
Grunts took a step forward, but Hookup put a hand on his chest to hold him back. “This…sport you chose is dangerous, dude. You knew that going into it. I just came here to make sure you were okay, but this…” He indicated the bed with his hand. “You did this, not me.”
Hayden squeezed my hand so hard I felt something pop. “So you’re really not going to take any blame for this? People got hurt, Hookup. Kenzie almost got hurt!”
Hookup’s lip twitched, like he was amused I’d almost ended up in a bed beside Hayden. Asshole. With a shrug, he told Hayden, “How can I take blame for what you chose to do for a living? I told you it was a waste of time. I told you you could make more money racing for me. You’re the one who insisted on being all respectable and shit. You’re the one who fucked me over, Hayden. If anyone should be pissed, it’s me!” His face was red with rage by the end of his rant.
“Unbelievable,” Hayden muttered. He made a move like he was trying to stand, and I put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a warning glare. He was not going to get into an altercation with this thug in the hospital while he was supposed to be resting. Hayden shifted his eyes to me, but he relaxed back onto the bed.
Returning his eyes to Hookup, he spit out, “We’re done. Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t drop by. I’m done racing, I’m done trying to be your friend. From now on…you don’t exist to me.” Looking back at me, he softly added, “I’m done straddling both worlds.”
“You selfish son of a bitch!” Hookup said. “You think you can just walk out on me? I’ve saved your scrawny ass more times than you know. You were just a lost, punk kid before I found you, before I gave you a purpose. You think you belong in your fancy world, racing your fancy bikes? That’s not who you are, and you know it. When these people eat you up and spit you out, you’ll be begging me to come back, and fuck if I’ll let you. Come on, Grunts. We’re done here.”
He twisted to leave, and Hayden called out his name. His real name. “Tony!” When he looked back, Hayden said, “I know what you did, and I have proof that you did it. If I ever see either one of you near a track again, I’ll have the cops on you in an instant, and you won’t be able to talk your way out of what I’ve got on you. Oh, and don’t think the threat of taking me down with you will change my mind. It won’t. I’ll happily go to jail to see you behind bars.”
Hookup glared at Hayden, and if looks could kill, I’d be single again. He stormed out of the room with Grunts right behind him. My thudding heart took a solid ten minutes to calm down, and even then, I still felt shaky. Hayden rubbed my back, like he understood how worked up I felt; maybe he felt the same way, and he was just hiding it better.
When I finally felt like Hookup wasn’t hiding around the corner, waiting to jump out and attack us, I whispered, “Do you really have proof that will put him away?”
Hayden let out a breath, and judging from the heaviness of it, he’d been holding it
for a while. “Just the thing I found on your bike. I don't really have a way to tie that to Hookup…but he doesn't know that.”
With wide eyes, I twisted to look at him, “Will that threat really stop him?”
He gave me a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I think so.”
I didn’t feel as reassured as he wanted. Frowning, I asked, “Will he come after you…to eliminate that threat?”
Hayden’s smile twitched with doubt. It was subtle, and I only saw it because I’d been watching for it so closely. He shook his head. “No…he’s not stupid, he won’t risk messing with me. I’m not exactly helpless,” he added with a wink.
Remembering him laying out three Benneti assholes, I knew he was right, but still…I had a horrible feeling Hookup didn’t play fair, and if he decided to come after Hayden, Hayden wouldn’t know it…until it was too late.
* * *
Hayden and I came home from New Jersey a couple of days later, and I spent most of my newfound free time taking care of him in his apartment above Keith’s garage. I never in a million years thought I would be at Keith’s home, and a part of me felt like just breathing the air here was betraying my family. Seeing where Keith lived up close and personal was so surreal. Especially one afternoon when Keith walked over in just his boxers to check on Hayden. I could have gone my whole life without seeing that.
Whenever I was at Hayden’s, I mothered the hell out of him; it annoyed him to no end. “You don’t have to wait on me hand and foot, Kenzie. I have crutches, I can fend for myself. I could even drive over to your place so you wouldn’t have to see Keith as often.”
With a bright smile, I brought a spoonful of soup to his lips. “You can't get back on a bike yet. And besides, this is too much fun. I’m not ready to give it up.”
Hayden groaned, and I shoved the spoon in his mouth. Once he swallowed, he apologized. Again. “I’m so sorry, Kenzie. About everything. You should be celebrating your amazing finish with your family…not stuck here taking care of me.”
With a sigh, I rested the spoon on Hayden’s tray. “It’s not your fault, remember? And I’m not stuck here. I want to be here. I want to be with you. I’m exactly where I belong.”
Hayden smiled and I leaned over and kissed him. When we pulled apart, he asked, “Has your dad spoken to you yet?”
I knew he wasn’t going to like my answer, so I was reluctant in giving it. “No. I’ve called him a few times, but he hasn’t picked up. And my sisters…Well, Theresa is ignoring me too, but Daphne chewed me out. Said I broke Dad’s heart.” That was surprisingly hard to admit to him, and to myself. I had never wanted to hurt Dad, never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted to be free to make my own choices, to follow my heart.
Hayden wrapped his arm around me. “Hey, it will be okay…somehow. I promise.”
I nodded, but I wasn’t sure that was something he could promise. My entire family was pissed at me, and that kind of anger didn’t go away overnight. I just had to show them that Hayden was a good person, a person worth caring about. I had to give them time. Then they’d forgive me…maybe.
A few days later, Hayden was done with being cooped up and pampered. We started going out and being social. We even hung out with Myles and Nikki, which was a little odd for everyone. Hayden did his best to keep things light and breezy, and for their part, Myles and Nikki were surprisingly friendly, although I did see Myles wince a few times, like he was slowly being tortured. They also kept looking over their shoulders, like they were doing something wrong and any second they were going to get caught. I supposed that was a remnant of the Benneti Ban. But Cox Racing didn’t exist, so the ban didn’t either. Everything was over.
“So what are you guys going to do for the next season?” I asked them while casually sipping on a beer.
Myles took a gulp of his drink before answering. “I signed on with Stellar Racing…so I guess I’ll be teammates with Jimmy again.” He looked disgruntled by that fact. “But Eli and Kevin signed on too, so I won’t be completely alone.”
A pang went through me as I thought about Myles being so far away. Stellar was just outside of San Francisco. “Well…at least you’re still in California. We can still…meet up.” He nodded, but both of us knew the visits wouldn’t be frequent, especially while he was training. “What about you?” I asked Nikki.
She let out a long, sad sigh. “Nothing yet. I just can’t…I don’t know. I don’t want to leave. I like it here.” She looked around the table, and I could clearly see what she really meant was that she liked it here with us, but that was already going to change with Myles breaking off on his own. Her leaving was inevitable, and it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if she followed Myles to Stellar.
Hayden brought my hand to his lips and gave the back of my knuckles a soft kiss. Being allowed to publicly display our affection for each other was weird…and wonderful. Smiling, I kissed his cheek. Myles cleared his throat, and I looked over to see him cringing. He hadn’t adjusted to this new reality yet. “So…what are you going to do, Kenzie?” he asked.
Keeping my gaze locked on Hayden, I told Myles, “I don’t know what I’ll be doing…but I know I’ll be just fine doing it.”
Myles made a gagging noise and I quickly snapped my attention back to him. “If that was some subtle reference to your sex life, I don’t want to hear it, Kenzie. I really don’t.”
Tossing a coaster at his face, I laughed, “No, it wasn’t. I just meant…whatever happens, I’ll be okay.”
Myles silently studied Hayden and I leaning against each other for a moment, and then finally a slow smile spread across his face. “Good, I’m glad to hear it. You deserve happiness.” Raising his glass, he looked around the table and said, “To Cox Racing. Gone, but never forgotten.”
His words constricted my chest, and I squeezed Hayden’s hand tight as I lifted my glass. Yes, definitely never forgotten.
Hayden was quiet after dinner, speculative, and when he reached my truck in the parking lot, he swiveled on his crutches to face me. “Do you mind if we don’t go home right away? There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”
My heart started pounding, because I knew exactly who he meant. I still asked, though. “Oh yeah, who?”
Hayden flashed me a killer smile, like he knew I didn’t really need to ask. “Izzy and Antonia. I kind of…talk about you a lot…and Izzy’s getting sick of the fact that she doesn’t know you yet. As she put it, the two of you should be besties already.” He rolled his eyes, but I saw the fondness in his expression.
My palms instantly started sweating. Meeting Izzy was sort of the equivalent of meeting Hayden’s parents. Throwing on a smile that I hoped looked calm, I said, “You talk about me?”
Hayden laughed as his gaze fell to the ground. “Yeah. At first, I’d only tell her that you were my training partner. I never even mentioned that you were a girl. But Izzy’s smart, she figured it out pretty fast.” Peeking up at me, he said, “She knew I loved you before I did.” That made my smile turn genuine. Hayden kissed me, then let out a sigh as he shook his head. “There were so many times I wanted to push you away, but Izzy got on my case not to. She said I needed to let people in again, give them a chance…” Clearing his throat, he let out a rueful laugh. “She’s kind of a know-it-all jackass…but she’s family.”
My grin was uncontainable. “I would love to meet her.”
Minutes later, Hayden was packed in my truck, giving me directions to Izzy’s apartment. When we got there, I helped Hayden out of the truck. He locked gazes with me, and my breath froze in my chest. God, he had engaging eyes. “She’s in four-A,” he murmured, pointing to our left.
Giving him a peck on the lips, I nodded, and we began heading that way. Nerves started building with each step, but with Hayden hobbling along beside me, I pushed them back. Izzy had fought for us before we were even an “us.” I had no reason to be afraid of her.
Hayden knocked on her door, and when it cracked open, a child peeked up at us. The littl
e girl had beautiful, big brown eyes, but they were worn, sunken, and weary; she’d clearly seen too much in her short life. They sparkled when she spotted Hayden, though.
“Uncle Hayden! You made it!” she squealed, throwing open the door. The sight of her bald head was shocking, and a piece of my heart tore open as I watched Hayden lean over and squeeze her tight. No child should be sick like this.
“Of course I made it, Bookworm. I told you I’d be here, so I’m here.” From the firmness of his statement, it was obvious he would never break a promise to this girl, no matter how much it cost him.
Izzy appeared from behind her daughter, and the resemblance to Hookup was striking. She seemed way too young to be a mom. She probably was.
Her eyes turned glossy as she examined the aftermath of Hayden’s wreck. “God, Hayden, you look worse than you described. Now I feel like a jerk for not visiting you. But Antonia was…Well…I’ve had my hands full.”
Hayden walked through the door and gave her a one-armed squeeze. “I told you not to worry about it, I’m fine. Kenzie’s been taking excellent care of me.”
He looked back at me and winked, and I couldn’t help but smile. Fondness on her face, Izzy turned to me and indicated inside. “Kenzie, it is so good to finally meet you. Hayden’s told me so much about you…and wow, Tony was right, you do look like Felicia.” She cringed after she said it and flashed a glance at Hayden. “I’m so sorry…It just slipped out.”
Hayden frowned at Izzy, but I waved off his concern as I walked through the door. “It’s fine…I’m sort of used to it,” I said with a forced smile on my face. It turned genuine as I watched Hayden trying to tickle Antonia with his good hand.
Izzy smiled at them as she closed the door behind me. “Be careful with her, Hayden. She just got out of the hospital; I don’t need you sending her back.” Hayden lifted his hand in surrender, and Antonia took the opportunity to tickle him. Izzy laughed, then twisted to me and said, “I don’t know what I’d do without Hayden. She’s so happy when he’s around.”