I was in comfortable black cotton lounge pants and a black Cox Racing T-shirt, while Nikki looked like the epitome of St. Patrick’s Day in her green leggings and shamrock-covered oversized sweater. Her hair was perfect and her makeup was flawless. Maybe because she spent so much of her day being dirty and greasy, or maybe because she was currently single and searching, Nikki made sure she looked like a million bucks whenever we went out. But honestly, now that she was here to get me, all I really wanted to do was close the door on her, grab a book, and head to bed. It had been a confusing day, and my mind was still reeling. Making a fool of myself on a mechanical bull was about the last thing I wanted to do. Good core exercise or not.
As if Nikki could tell that I was about to bail on her, she grabbed my hand and pulled me forward. “Doesn’t matter. Myles is waiting, let’s go.”
It was all I could do to snatch my purse and turn the lock on the door before she had me outside with her. Nikki yanked me all the way to her tiny two-seater smart car. Once I was seat-belted in place, she gave me a bright smile. “This is gonna be great, you’ll see!”
A groan escaped me and I rolled my eyes. Nikki gave me an odd look as she started the car and backed out of the driveway. “I know you’re not thrilled about this, but what’s up with the gloomy ’tude? You should be high on life after your amazing practice today, but instead, you look like you’re choking down a piece of my mother’s infamously horrible meat loaf. What gives?”
“I’m just…processing today,” I told her, while I studied the darkness outside for a palatable answer to the problem that was plaguing me. Why did racing beside Hayden feel so good? And why did I do so much better when I tuned the world out and focused solely on him?
Nikki thwacked me on the shoulder. “What’s to process? You made that track your bitch! Now, just do that when it counts, and you’ll be golden. Cox Racing will be the talk of the town!”
Yeah…do that when it counted. Like it was so easy. But out there with just Hayden and me on the track…it had felt easy.
When we got to the bar, Myles was waiting outside with a couple other members of the Cox Racing crew—Ralph; our other racer, Eli; and Myles’s mechanic, Kevin. Myles was standing under the entrance, wearing a KISS ME, I’M IRISH T-shirt. Pointing up at the gigantic bull horns attached to the building, he proudly exclaimed, “Those are going home with me tonight!”
Laughing at him, I waved at the group. The guys all gave me friendly nods. Eli let out a low whistle as he shook his head. “Man, Kenzie, you sure killed it today.”
I gave him a short “Thanks” in response, since I really didn’t want to talk about it, but Nikki wasn’t about to let it go without a little more fanfare.
“Yeah, she did!” she exclaimed. Then she mimed a shotgun shooting the horns above us. Myles was the one who acted like he’d been shot, though. Clutching his chest, he started weaving left and right like he was drunk. Hams.
I gave Nikki a shove toward the door to get her moving. Myles and the guys fell in line behind us. Once we were all inside, I looked around for the famed entertainment here. Didn’t take me long to find it. In the middle of the bar was a sunken floor surrounded by a tall railing and piled high with thick safety mats, and right smack in the middle of the padded area was the rectangular “bull” covered in black leather and topped off with a saddle.
Nikki took one look at it and squealed. “Let’s do that first!”
Myles shook his head and pointed at the bar. “Beer first, bull second. It’s part of the rules.”
Kevin looked around for this elusive list of bull-riding rules. “It is?” Seeing a warning sign on the fence surrounding the pit, he jerked his thumb at it. “Are you sure? Because all that says is that the bar isn’t responsible for…well, for anything, really.” He swallowed, like he was unsure about just standing in this place. Kevin was kind of the wuss of the group. He often told Myles he was a mechanic for a reason; he’d rather go 60 miles per hour in the safety of a fully enclosed car than 160 with nothing between him and the world but open air.
Myles shrugged. “It’s more of an unspoken rule.”
Nikki laughed at the look on Kevin’s face, then clapped him on the back. “To the beer then! ’Cause who are we to break rules?”
I had to raise an eyebrow at that statement as an unfortunate early-morning phone call ran through my mind. A phone call that had—in a way—started this whole mess with Hayden. Nikki cleared her throat and started making a beeline for the bar when she noticed the look on my face.
At the bar, Myles ordered two pitchers of green beer. We found a table that would fit all of us, and as we sat down, I reminded him that I was only having one drink. “Don’t try refilling my glass or beg me to help finish the pitcher. One and I’m done, Myles.”
He lifted a hand to his chest like he was morally offended. “I am not an alcohol pusher, Kenzie, and I respect your discipline. Admire it, really. If I had just a little more self-control of my own…I might have been able to say no to the Donnelly twins last year,” he finished with a wink.
Kevin, Eli, and Ralph all dropped their jaws simultaneously, then started clamoring for details. Nikki rolled her eyes as she looked over at me. She made an obscene gesture with her hand that instantly had both of us on the verge of tears, we were laughing so hard. With a smile on his face, Myles flipped us both off.
Nikki excused herself to go to the bathroom, and while she was gone, our pitchers arrived. After the waitress finished passing out glasses of frothy green beer and left the table, we heard a loud crash, followed by the sound of breaking glass. Tracing the noise, I spotted a group of guys about to get into it on the other side of the bar. A scrawny guy stood next to a hulk of a man; both looked familiar to me, although I couldn’t place where I’d seen them before. They were both staring down another guy, who was red in the face and dripping with what had to be alcohol. A frustrated waitress was standing next to the trio of testosterone, and there was an upended tray of drinks scattered across the ground—the source of the disturbance. The waitress’s look of exasperation and the wet guy’s expression of pure venom spoke volumes about what had just happened. And about what was going to happen.
“Ohhh, someone is about to get the shit kicked out of him,” Myles said, laughing.
I had to agree. Even with his burly bodyguard standing behind him, backing him up, the little guy—who had clearly dumped the tray all over the wet guy—was going to get hit at least once. And sometimes once was all it took.
Cringing, I waited for the inevitable strike…but then, before chaos erupted, something incomprehensible happened. Hayden freaking Hayes stepped between the men, arms outstretched, like he was some goddamn referee. What in the hell was he doing here? Playing peacekeeper of all things?
I felt like I’d just been struck by a set of meaty fists as I watched Hayden fluidly disarm the situation. Then, even more shocking, when he was finished with the men, he walked over to the waitress and handed her some bills—paying for the mess and clearly smoothing things over with the bar. Why the hell would he do that?
From beside me, I heard Myles say, “Wow, I did not see it going down that way. What the hell is Hayden doing here?”
I was just about to tell Myles I’d been thinking the same thing when I noticed that Hayden had walked over to a woman. She was a slight girl, with dark hair and dark eyes, and she was clearly upset over the almost-altercation. While I watched, Hayden pulled her in for a warm embrace, then he kissed her temple. It was tender, sweet, and full of familiarity. They clearly weren't strangers…but they seemed too intimate to only be friends.
Something dark and insidious wrapped around me like cold steel, hardening and chilling me. Jesus, did Hayden have a girlfriend? With the way he’d been acting around me—in the hot tub, at the track—I’d just assumed he was single. But what if he wasn’t? And what the hell did it matter if he did have a girlfriend?
As if he knew I was staring, Hayden’s eyes suddenly found mine. I
wanted to turn my head, ignore him, but I couldn’t. I was trapped. He held my gaze with an unnerving intensity, and even though we were in a crowded bar, surrounded by people, and even though Hayden had his arms around another woman—a woman who was probably his girlfriend—that feeling of the world narrowing down to just him and me started to simmer in the air between us.
The girl noticed that Hayden was preoccupied and turned her head to look at me. There was an innocence to her large dark eyes that was surprising, and her tiny frame made her seem fragile, breakable. They were an odd pairing. It wasn’t like I’d expected any girlfriend of Hayden’s to be a skank, but…yeah, maybe I had. This girl just seemed too…nice for him.
She looked back up at him and he finally stopped staring at me. Glancing down at her, he shook his head, then gave her another quick hug before letting her go. A whirlwind of fury swirled within me. Had he just told her I was nobody? That what we had was nothing, and she shouldn’t worry? But…that was true, wasn’t it? We didn’t have anything, we weren’t anything, and I didn’t want us to be anything.
Then why was my breath shaky, and my pulse racing? Needing a distraction, I started chugging my beer. It was completely unlike me, and Myles’s eyes were wide as he stared.
Nikki returned and sat down in the seat beside me. Glancing around the table, she asked, “Did I miss anything?”
Eli was about to answer her when I interrupted. “We should go, Myles.”
He glanced at Hayden, then back at me. “Because of him? He doesn’t scare me. If he even tries to start anything with us, we can take him.”
Nikki looked over to see who we were talking about. “Hayden is here? And is that…?”
She didn’t finish her sentence, but by the look on her face, it was clear she recognized the guys Hayden was with, and she didn’t want to talk about them. And if she didn’t want to talk about them, it was because she didn’t want to talk about how she knew them, which meant…damn it. Everything instantly clicked into place, and I suddenly knew exactly where I’d seen the ginormous and miniscule guys—the street race Nikki had dragged me to. The muscular man had been taking the bets while the little Hispanic guy had been talking to Hayden before the race, like he’d been coaching him. Why were they here? Why was Hayden still hanging out with them? And did Nikki know Hayden’s gal pal too? A part of me wanted to ask her, but it was none of my business. And…I didn’t think I actually wanted to know the answer.
Myles looked like he was about to question Nikki, so I distracted him with what I hoped sounded like logic. “He’s a Benneti; we can’t be seen with him or we’ll be fired.”
Myles instantly looked agitated. “We’re not with him.” Then he let out a forlorn sigh. “A bull, Kenzie…come on, I’ve always wanted to ride a bull. And so far as I know, we’d have to actively be fraternizing with him to get canned. We’re just…in the same place at the same time. I doubt Hayden even realizes we’re here.” He must have missed Hayden drilling me with his eyes then…eyes that were still secretively watching; I could feel his gaze on me like rays of sunlight on a cold day. He should really be paying attention to his girl, not staring at me.
Eli nodded. “Yeah, we’ll be fine, so long as he stays over there with those guys.” He leaned forward, like he was about to divulge top secret information. “Hey, you guys hear the rumor floating around about him yet?” He tilted his head to indicate Hayden.
Like a student in class, Nikki raised her hand. “Oh, I heard it! Don’t know if I believe it, but I heard it.” All of us twisted to look at her and Nikki chomped down hard on her bottom lip, like she regretted speaking and was trying to eat her words.
I wasn’t too surprised Nikki had heard a rumor about a rider—she lived on gossip—but I was dying to know what she’d heard about Hayden, and I wondered where she’d heard it. Although if Eli had heard it too, maybe it was common knowledge. Sometimes I got so caught up in racing, I missed the obvious. My heart started speeding up as numerous scenarios leaped through my mind.
“What rumor?” I asked, hoping I sounded casually curious.
Nikki twirled a strand of hair around her finger as she looked around the table. “Yeah…the rumor I heard…at Daytona.” Eli nodded, like that was where he’d heard it too, and Nikki’s expression visibly relaxed. Getting into it now, she placed her elbows on the table, a giddy grin on her face.
Before she could start in on her secret, though, Eli interrupted. “So, the rumor is, he started his career street racing.” Eli sneered the word “street” while Nikki made a tittering sound as she flicked her guilty eyes at me. “Anyway,” Eli continued, “they say he was undefeated on the road…because he made sure he was undefeated.”
Eli lifted an insinuating eyebrow at us, but I wasn’t following what he was implying. “What does that mean?” I asked.
Focusing his gaze at me, Eli said, “It means he fixed the races. He messed with bikes, messed with riders, did whatever he had to do to win. And now he’s here…racing against us…and we should all be watching our backs.”
Messing with bikes? That was the biggest crime in our sport—taboo, sacrilegious, detestable. It endangered everyone, not just the rider who was sabotaged. The reason we all felt comfortable enough to put our lives on the line whenever we rode was that there was a thin layer of trust between all the racers, even those who hated each other. Just suggesting that someone would do it, could do it, or had done it was a sinister accusation. I couldn’t believe anyone was capable of sinking that low. Not even Hayden. “Oh, come on, Eli, not even a Benneti would tamper with bikes.”
Eli shrugged, like he hadn’t just said something scandalous. “Are you sure about that, Kenzie? You know Keith wants to squeeze your dad until he breaks. What if he brought this guy on just to make sure we fail?”
I wanted to object, but I wasn’t about to defend Keith, so I shut my mouth. And besides…Eli made a good point. What if Keith had brought in Hayden just to mess with us? Given that he blamed my father for ruining his career, I wouldn’t put it past him. But would Hayden really stoop to that level to win? I had no idea, and that made my stomach tighten for an entirely different reason.
Not wanting to think about Keith or Hayden, I nudged Nikki for help. She glanced at me, read my expression, and thankfully changed the subject. “Well, this night just took a ride through Downer Town. How about we turn things around and start having some fun now? Bull, anyone?”
All the boys were on board with that idea, and they quickly slammed the rest of their beers. I thanked Nikki by clinking glasses with her and took another long gulp of my beer, finishing it. Even though I’d only had one drink, I was a little light-headed when I stood up. Yep, lightweight was my middle name. It was just one of the many reasons why I didn’t indulge in alcohol often.
Myles got in line to put our names down while I watched a female rider giggling as she positioned herself on the saddle; she was wearing a low-cut tank top and a short green skirt—not a great outfit choice for bull riding, but the men in the room seemed to appreciate it. The guy controlling the bull had an indecent smile on his face as he started the machine up. The woman was laughing so hard, she almost fell off as soon as the bull began to move in a slow circle. She held on, though, and then the motorized beast started doing things that instantly pricked my indignation.
The fake bull was behaving in a way that no real bull would. Instead of the standard circles and bucking, it was…shimmying. It shook and jostled in such a way that the poor girl almost bounced out of her shirt, and I was beginning to believe that was the point; she was tipped forward at such an angle that everyone in the bar was getting a pretty spectacular view of her bright-pink bra. The woman didn’t seem to mind, but I sure minded for her. It irked me even more when I noticed how differently the male riders after her were treated.
While I waited for my turn, I watched five more riders take theirs. Three men and two more women. All the men got the standard, realistic bull-riding experience. All the girls got
jug jiggling. It ticked me off.
Myles slung his arm around my shoulder while I watched yet another girl get vibrated to the ground; the men nearby cheered when she hit the floor. “Ready? Our group is up next.”
I shot him a look that clearly said I’d rather lick the bottom of my shoe than ride that bull. “I’m out.”
He looked at me like I’d just shot his puppy. “What? No, you have to.” I raised my eyebrows at his comment. Aside from kick ass at the next race, I didn’t have to do anything. Understanding the heat in my eyes, he changed his tone. “Please? We’re all doing it, even Kevin.” He jabbed his thumb at Kevin, and the shy mechanic waved.
With a frown, I ignored him and pointed at the girl currently walking out of the corral, rubbing her ass. “No. It’s degrading.”
Using his fingers, Myles forced my lips up into a smile. “It’s fun. Remember fun? You used to have it on occasion, if I recall. That might be someone else I’m thinking of, though.”
Yanking his fingers from my face, I shook my head. “I would rather drink shots all night from a stranger’s belly button than ride this bull.”
Myles pursed his lips, like he was thinking. “I could probably arrange that…”
He started searching the room and I shoved his shoulder back. Asshat. Turning to Nikki, I said, “I think I’ll just get a cab and call it a night.” Public humiliation of any sort was not my idea of a good time.
They all groaned at me, Nikki and Myles the loudest, but I held up my hand in farewell and started walking away before they could come up with arguments for me to stay. With this group, a quick retreat was best.
I was speed-walking back through the waiting line for the pit when I heard a familiar voice say, “Are you leaving, sweetheart?”
Looking to my right, I saw Hayden standing there at the end of the line, watching the show while he waited for his turn. He was alone. For now. I opened my mouth to tell him to go to hell, but he leaned in and words instantly left me. God, he smelled good, like a sea breeze on a warm summer night.