Hopping out of Starla’s car, Nika and I watched in silence as our “mom” peeled away as fast as she possibly could. Once the super-hearing woman was gone, Nika twisted to face me. “Stop worrying, I’ll be fine.”
With those words, she walked past me, to where Arianna was waving at us. I noticed Arianna’s grin widen when her hazel eyes locked onto mine. I frowned at Nika’s comment, and Arianna’s smile faltered a little. Not wanting Arianna to think I was upset with her, but not wanting to smile and encourage her either, I hurried to catch up to Nika. “I’m not sure you should meet this guy alone. Maybe I’ll come with you.”
Nika stopped in her tracks, irritation prickling through her like thorns across her skin. “I’m sixteen. I don’t need a chaperone.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I blanketed her thorny annoyance with my levelheaded concern. “Really? Should I call Dad and ask him his opinion on the matter?”
Nika shook her head and resumed walking. “You wouldn’t do that to me, Julian, so don’t even try that empty threat.”
I grabbed her arm, stopping her. “You’re being careless, Nika, and that’s not like you.” She locked eyes with me; hers were begging me to let her go see this guy who had finally sparked her interest. Sighing, I released her arm. “Just… We have to be more cautious than most people, Nick. You know that.”
“It’s a public place, Julian. Lots of people, lots of activity. I’ll be as safe as any other girl there.” Looking down, she added. “And you’ll know the instant I’m not.”
I wanted to expound on that comment, but Arianna popped up right beside us. Trey was a step or two behind her. “You two look sullen. Everything okay?”
Nika’s mood immediately surged with excitement. The rush from her made goosebumps spring up and down my arms. Grabbing Arianna, Nika exclaimed, “I have a date after school!”
Arianna was naturally euphoric for Nika. She screamed in excitement, and I had to close my eyes it hurt so much; super hearing wasn’t a blessing around teenage girls. Trey, looking a little dazed, slung an arm around Nika. “No, no I don’t think so,” he said.
Grimacing, Nika shrugged off his arm. Smiling that Trey agreed with me, I murmured, “Yeah, I don’t think so either.”
Arianna glanced at me, interest in her eyes, and I shifted my attention back to Trey; his gaze was slightly unfocused as he nodded at my sister. “Yeah, you have to date me first, Little Adams.”
Nika gave him a look that was priceless. As much as she tolerated my friendship with Trey, the idea of dating him repulsed her. He was sort of the epitome of everything she wasn’t looking for in a boyfriend.
Arianna ignored Trey’s comment and focused on mine. “Why don’t you approve, Julian?”
Looking over at her, I debated what to say. Her eyes held an intelligent inquisitiveness that Trey’s often lacked, and I knew she wouldn’t accept a nothing answer. Deciding it was all right for her to know at least one of my concerns, I shrugged and adjusted the backpack on my shoulder. “He’s too old. Almost old enough to buy her beer.”
Trey immediately changed his opinion. Slapping her shoulder, he grinned ear-to-ear. “Never mind, Little A. Date away, date away.”
I rolled my eyes, while Arianna looked back at Nika with eyes the size of saucers. “Really?” She smiled, intrigued. “Do tell.”
The two of them giggled as they walked away arm-in-arm. Arianna glanced back at me once, then focused her attention on Nika, who was telling her all the things that made her date fabulous, despite his age…or maybe because of it.
I lifted my hands in defeat. “Am I the only one who sees this as a bad thing?”
Slinging his arm over my shoulder, Trey scrunched his face like he was deep in thought, then he nodded. “Yes.”
I looked over at him, shaking my head and feeling a little dizzy from the smell emanating from him. It cleared my head, though, and I let my concern over my sister’s love life shift to the back of my mind. That was when my own love life hit me full force—Raquel passed right in front of me.
She was gorgeous in the early morning light. Her dark hair had subtle, auburn undertones that shimmered in the sun. Her skin was smooth and even, highlighted with rosy blush and shadow in shades of brown that emphasized how incredibly beautiful her dark eyes were. She was perfect. “Hey, Raquel. How are you?”
She started, like she’d been so lost in thought, she hadn’t even noticed me standing there. That hurt a little; I always noticed her.
Stopping in front of me, she nervously looked around. “Oh…hey, Julian. I’m fine...I’m great. How are you?”
I didn’t buy her statement for a second. Ignoring her question, I said, “Can we talk for a minute? Really talk?”
My heart raced as she bit her lip. By the way her eyes roved over my face, I could tell she wanted to say yes, that she wanted to talk to me, but she was clearly nervous about Russell finding us again. Knowing his schedule by heart, I knew we had some time before the lazy asshole showed his face on campus. Stepping closer to her, I begged her to talk to me. “Please, he won’t be here for another ten minutes…and I just want five.”
Raquel nodded, then leaned in closer. “Russell is on a rampage after… No one can see us.” Looking around, to see who might be watching, she whispered, “I’ll be in the storage closet on the first floor.” She glanced at Trey beside me, but he was on my side, and wouldn’t say anything to Russell. After giving me a quick smile, she hurried off to the main building as fast as she could.
Exhaling in a long, controlled way to slow down my surging heart, I twisted to face Trey. He was grinning at me. “Nice. Five minutes ain’t a whole lot of time, bro. You sure you can pull that off?”
Ignoring his innuendo, I ran my hand back through my hair. “Holy crap… What the hell am I going to say to her?”
Trey shrugged. “I don’t know. What do girls like to hear?” He thought for a second while my nerves spiked. Feeling Nika’s curiosity, I tried to calm myself down. I didn’t need her coming back to check on me. I just needed her to leave me be for the next five minutes, so I could be alone…in a storage closet…with Raquel. Holy crap.
Thinking of something, Trey brightened. “Tell her you like her shoes.”
“What?”
Trey pointed to my shoes, like he was unsure if I knew what he was talking about. “Her shoes, man. Girls love getting complimented on their shoes.”
I shook my head. “What? Why?” You could buy shoes almost anywhere. It wasn’t like her shoes were something specific to her. It seemed ridiculous to comment on something that a dozen other girls at this school also had.
Knowing I was running out of precious time, I didn’t let Trey explain. His explanations could be a little out there anyway. Sprinting across the lawn, I heard him shout, “Good luck, dude!”
Right, luck. Crap. What the hell was I doing?
Before I knew it, I was opening the door to the storage closet. I felt really stupid as I glanced up and down the hall to see if anyone was looking, but I could hear Raquel sighing and pacing on the other side of the door. That trumped everything else. Seeing that the coast was clear, I blurred the door open and zipped inside. It was faster than I should have moved at school, but I had to get to her. Luckily Raquel’s back was turned and she didn’t see me. She heard me, though. With a start, she twisted to face me. Her heartbeat was heavy in the quiet air; it matched my own.
After a moment of staring at each other, her heart quieted. Mine sped up. “You wanted to talk to me?” she whispered.
I stepped closer to her. The room was only lit by the hallway light that was filtering in through the slats along the lower half of the door. Soft, indirect light caressed Raquel’s body, highlighting her features. Mixed with the stillness in the air, it energized me…made me speechless.
“Julian? What did you want to talk about?” she repeated, her voice soft.
Taking a step toward me, her hand brushed my leg. I glanced down at where we were connected,
then found my voice. Looking back up at her, I whispered, “You’re too good for him, Raquel. You should leave him.”
“Julian…” With a sad sigh, she shifted her weight between her feet. “I know you don’t like him, I get it, but he’s not… He’s not always… Sometimes he’s sweet; you just don’t see it.”
“You’re right,” I softly told her. “I only see the guy who yells at you all the time, who picked a fight with me because I tried to defend you. If he’s sweet, then I definitely haven’t seen it,” I said, shaking my head.
Her eyes filled with moisture as she intently peered at me. “I never asked you to defend me.” She stepped closer, until her body touched mine. “While it was incredibly kind of you…I don’t need you to fight for me, Julian. I’m fine.”
I held my breath. Feeling the curves of her pressed against me, ignited me in ways I wasn’t sure I wanted to be ignited. Not if she wasn’t mine. Dad was right; I should have kept my distance. Instead, I cupped her cheek, brushing aside a tear that had escaped. “You’re not fine, though. You’re not even happy.”
Leaning into her, I murmured, “Why are you with him, Raquel? Why are you willing to sacrifice your happiness for his? How is that fair to you?”
She pulled away, her eyes clearly pained by my questions. “You’re only seeing the bad parts, Julian.” Biting her lip, she looked around the small, dark space we were in. “I should…I should go. We shouldn’t be in here…together. Russell wouldn’t like this…”
Grabbing her other cheek, I held her directly in front of me. My body blazed with compassion for this wounded creature before me. If I could heal her…help her…it would be worth the pain of never having her. “I care about you, Raquel, and that means I want to see you happy. He makes you miserable, and it kills me to watch your spirit die a little more each day. You’re my friend…more than my friend, and I like you too much to stay quiet about it.” My voice hitched on me. I couldn’t believe I was telling her these things. Usually dark, enclosed spaces were too terrifying for me to even be inside, but somehow, being in this space with her, I didn’t feel claustrophobic. I felt…free. I felt brave. I could tell her anything.
Confusion swept her features, tightened her face. “More than my friend?” she whispered.
Leaning my head against hers, my breath fast, my heart thudding, I murmured, “Yes… I will always be your friend, but if you want me to be more, I’d… I would…”
“Julian…I…I don’t know. Maybe…”
Her breath washed over me, and I shuddered. I wasn’t sure how much longer we had, but I never wanted this moment to end. Life was perfect right now. My fingers were on her soft, tear-stained skin, our bodies were close together. I felt her warmth, her heat, and I heard her heart soaring as fast as mine. We were one, in sync, and, for the first time ever, I felt like she was reciprocating my feelings.
Without internally debating it, without even thinking about it, I moved my head so that my mouth hovered over hers. I hesitated a moment, waiting for her to pull away. When she didn’t, I pressed our lips together. Her soft mouth on mine weakened my knees. It was so much better than I’d ever imagined. And what made it even more amazing as I moved my lips over hers…she moved hers too. She was kissing me back.
I was sure my heart was going to break through my ribcage and explode all around the room as her lips moved with mine. I could feel Nika’s curiosity shift to concern, could feel her presence start to move toward me, but I ignored it, ignored her. I didn’t even care if she busted us. I wasn’t going to stop this moment for her, for anyone. I was never going to stop this moment.
Unfortunately, Raquel wasn’t quite as untroubled as I was. Pushing me back, she breathlessly muttered, “No…I can’t do this.”
My heart shattered as she stepped around me. “Raquel, wait…”
Hand on the doorknob, she shook her head. “I’m sorry, Julian, I can’t. I know you don’t understand why, but I’m…I’m in love with Russell…and I can’t do this.”
Before I could object, she opened the door, then closed it behind her. I blinked, blinded by the sudden light followed by the sudden darkness. As that darkness became my entire world, I sank to the floor. The bell signaling that school was starting trilled in the air, but I barely heard it. My jaw trembled as Raquel’s last words mixed with the residual feeling of her lips on mine. She loved him? Even with how he treated her? God…why? I’d treat her so much better. She’d have a different world with me. Why didn’t she want that? Why didn’t she want me?
As my thoughts swirled darker and darker, the tightness of the room closed in on me. What was once a sanctuary with Raquel beside me turned into something sinister with her gone. A cruel chuckle emerged from the back of my brain, the furthest recesses of my memory. A disturbing laugh that had been followed by a heavy metallic thud, as a car trunk had closed around me. I’d been sealed in darkness…sealed in terror. The remembered feeling crawled over my skin, and I began to shake.
“Nika…” I whispered, hating to call for her, but too terrified to move.
She was there instantly, opening the storage closet door…bathing me in light again.
I looked up at her, grateful, ashamed, frozen in fear. She immediately dropped to her knees, cupping my cheeks, examining me. She didn’t ask if I was all right; she already knew I wasn’t. She knew exactly what was wrong with me—had felt this terror before. She knew I couldn’t get out of it on my own, not with how deeply I was entrenched in it. She knew I needed her right now.
Nika looked behind her, to see if anyone could see us, then she put her arms around me and physically yanked me from my self-imposed prison. I cried out in agony as Nika’s force sprawled us into the middle of the empty hallway. It wasn’t physical pain that pierced me, though. It was remembered pain, remembered terror. I curled into a ball, still shaking. This was bad. Raquel’s stake to the heart had mixed with my fear…I couldn’t snap out of it.
Luckily, Nika was there to shove me out of it. At first, she shook my shoulders. When that didn’t do much, my breathing still ragged and fast, she took the more aggressive approach.
She slapped me.
The force startled me so much, I blinked and finally focused on her. She grimaced, looking apologetic. “Sorry…getting you out of the room didn’t help as much as I thought it would.”
I nodded, sitting up. The fear that had been jacking up my body was dissipating now that I’d been knocked back into the present. I held onto every real thing around me—the coldness of the floor, the sting in my cheek, Nika’s concern. Everything about this moment pushed back the lingering panic attack, shriveling it to nothing.
“Thank you,” I whispered, standing. Nika stood with me, still studying me. Embarrassment coursing through me, I looked back at the closet that had started the whole incident. “We should go. We’re late.”
As I started walking away, Nika called out, “Julian…”
I knew what she wanted to talk about…and I just couldn’t yet. It was too fresh. The joy with Raquel, the heartbreak, the terror. I couldn’t talk about it yet. Nika would have to be happy with examining my mood swing for now. The words would have to come later.
Looking back at her, I shook my head. “Not now…please?”
Sighing, she nodded. “I love you, Julie.”
I nodded in return. “Love you too, Nick.”
I’D LIKE TO say that my day improved when I got home, but I’d forgotten about something. Okay, maybe I hadn’t forgotten. Maybe I’d pushed it to the back of my mind. Ben and his daughter were in town this weekend for a visit. Ben was cool, but his daughter…she redefined the word clingy.
“Julian!”
Thin, reed-like arms instantly cinched around my waist. If I hadn’t known otherwise, I’d have assumed that the girl who had me in a death grip had blurred to the door to attack me. But Olivia was human. A speedy human, but human, nonetheless.
“Liv.” I patted the top of her head, much like I patted Spike’s. She
reacted in the exact same way. Giggling, she buried her blonde head into my chest. I looked up at the sound of someone chuckling.
“Hey, Julian. She’s been waiting all afternoon to see you.”
Ben was watching us from the kitchen entryway, a steaming mug of coffee in his hand. He was solid for a man in his mid-forties, still fit and muscular. And while his hair was streaked with blond highlights, it was also streaked with gray. Ben had seen a lot of action, in the supernatural sense, and faint scar lines were visible to me, even from the distance between us. Even still, he was what my sister referred to as hot. She said he was aging well. I took her word for it.
Ben took a sip of his coffee, grinning at his daughter manhandling me. Frowning, I discreetly tried to push her away. Smiling wider, Ben shook his head. “Liv, leave the poor man alone. You’ll crush him.”
The young girl finally pulled back. Switching her assault to just my arm, she beamed up at me. My smile felt weird, forced, as I glanced into the open, loving, and honest gray eyes locked onto mine. Being idolized so blatantly was surreal.
As we walked as one into the living room, Ben stepped forward to join us. “Sorry, we’re a bit early. Teren said we could come by anytime today, so we hopped the first flight out.” Looking around the house, Ben asked, “Where’s Nika?”
I sighed as I removed my backpack and sat on the couch. Liv sat at the same time I did, like we were synchronized swimmers rehearsing on dry land. Feeling Nika’s joy getting stronger and stronger, I cringed. “She’s…at the library.” With our too-old neighbor who better not hurt her, or I’ll be blurring through the streets of Salt Lake to get to her.
Ben looked confused by my strange reaction, and I relaxed my face into blankness. “How are things?” I asked, mainly to stop him from asking questions.