Halina answered me in her native tongue. I felt my other grandmothers staring, but I ignored them. “You think you might continue the line with this one?”
I shrugged as I shook my head. “I don’t know…but I’d like the freedom to find out—with her knowing everything. Just like Mom and Dad.”
Halina raised an eyebrow, then nodded. “All right, Julian. So long as she is your potential mate…I will not take her mind.”
Smiling, I nodded. “Thank you.”
She paused a moment, then added, “But if you end the relationship, even amicably, I will wipe her. And I’ll take it all, Julian. She won’t even remember you.”
Tears in my eyes, I nodded again. All or nothing, that was what she was offering me…and I would take it. Guilt poured into me as I thought of my sister. I’d just given her an all-or-nothing relationship with Arianna too. If things ended between us, and Halina wiped her mind of me, she’d surely wipe her mind of Nika as well. We’d both lose her. I really hoped Arianna wanted this.
Arianna had a questioning tilt to her head when Halina turned away from me. “What was that about?”
With a nonchalant half-shrug I told her, “Nothing.” My heart was beating harder as she stared at me. Her hazel eyes were drinking me in, the disbelief in them obvious. Tucking a golden-brown strand of hair behind her ear, she said in a droll voice, “Nothing? You were having a conversation in Russian over nothing?”
I blinked. “You knew that was Russian?”
She nodded. “This lady my mom knows speaks it, so I recognize the accent. Why do you speak it? And what were you saying?”
I rubbed my chin, not sure what to tell her, when I suddenly noticed that Halina was talking to Trey…and he was hanging on her every word. “When we get to Julian’s house, you won’t remember anything that happened tonight. You won’t remember anything odd happening at school. You won’t remember anything about vampires, or being shot at, or hiding out in a motel. In your mind, you went to visit Julian after school, got tired, and spent the night. You spent the evening playing video games and…looking through women’s underwear ads.”
Trey’s lips lifted into a smile, but his eyes remained dazed and dreamy. My mouth was agape when Halina finished with him and twisted my way. “You wiped him? Why?”
Icy blue eyes flicked up and down my body. “You’re not going to date him, and Nika will never be interested in that one.” She closed her eyes for a minute and shook her head. “Plus, he’s a chatty teenage pothead…not exactly a secure vault.” She lifted an eyebrow. “And our secrets must stay secret.”
Halina’s eyes drilled holes into Arianna. Arianna clenched my hand tight, but bravely nodded. “I wouldn’t say anything, ever.”
Resting a chilly hand on her shoulder, Halina leaned in and whispered, “I know you won’t.”
A shudder went down Arianna’s spine as Halina walked over to Gabriel. She slung her arms around his waist and pulled him toward Grandpa’s truck. While she had mostly recovered from her exposure to silver, she still seemed a little off her game to me—a little slower, a little stiffer—but still a force to be reckoned with. As I watched Halina get into the vehicle, I was both irritated and relieved. I supposed one friend keeping their memory was better than neither friend. And…Arianna was sort of my girlfriend now in Halina’s eyes. Crap. I should probably ask her out. My palms started sweating. Hopefully Arianna wouldn’t notice.
Arianna relaxed as I pulled her to the minivan. “So…Trey really won’t remember tonight?”
I let out a weary exhale as we passed by the perfectly repaired door. “No, as soon as we get to my house, he’ll think nothing out of the ordinary happened.”
Arianna frowned as she opened the driver’s side door. “And there’s nothing you can do?”
I shrugged as she climbed inside the minivan. “Aside from tell him again?” I paused as I thought for a second. “Or never go home?” Glancing over at the truck, I saw that Halina had heard me. She narrowed her eyes in warning, and I quickly turned back to Arianna. “No…once you’re tranced, you’re tranced.”
Arianna examined the wheel before looking over at Trey getting into the second row. He seemed completely oblivious to the fact that soon he wouldn’t remember tonight. She returned her eyes to mine; they were slightly moist. “Did she do that to me? Will I forget?”
Her eyes searched mine, and my pulse quickened. The dome light cast a soft glow on her hair as it backlit her face. She was so beautiful…how did I miss that? Shoving my hands into my pockets, I kicked a rock on the cement. “Ah, no…she won’t…do anything…as long as…” I peeked up at her, a small smile on my lips, “If you’ll go out with me…if you’ll be my girlfriend, then you can remember.” My words came out a little strangled, and I had to swallow the knot in my throat.
Arianna gave me a blank look, and I started to think she hadn’t heard me. Then she said, “What about…Raquel?”
Biting my lip, I wished I had the words to clearly explain how and why my feelings had shifted. Translating it into any kind of coherent speech seemed impossible. “I don’t… It’s just… Raquel will never accept me like you did. She’ll never care about me like you do. I’ll always be a ‘maybe’ to her, and I want more than that. I want to be with someone who likes me as much as I like them. I want my feelings to be…reciprocated. And you…” With a sigh, I lowered my gaze to the pavement. “I like you, Arianna. I think I’ve always liked you.” I lifted my eyes to hers then. “I resisted it for so long… But I’m done ignoring it, or brushing it off, or whatever the hell I was doing.” Heart in my eyes, I shook my head. “I just really want to be with you, and I hope you want to be with me too.”
I thought I might throw up while I waited for her to say something. As she wordlessly studied me, I saw myriad emotions pass through her eyes. God, I’m so sorry I ever hurt you. Like she heard my silent apology, she smiled, then nodded. “Okay, Julian…we can date. But just date.” My immediate joy faded, and I frowned. What did she mean by that. Seeing my confusion, Arianna explained. “I won’t be your girlfriend. Not yet. But if all goes well, and I’m completely sure you’re over her, then maybe, just maybe, I’ll agree to be your girlfriend.”
She gave a one-sided grin, full of teasing promise, then she leaned forward to kiss me. My heart soared as her lips met mine, and I melded into her skin. I was fine with dating first, and if I had to prove to her every day that I was over Raquel, then that was what I would spend every day doing. Gladly. I’d never felt such joy in a woman’s arms, and knowing it was reciprocated—100 percent—made all the difference in the world.
Even though the night had been disastrous, I smiled the entire ride home. I wasn’t even bothered by the fact that I had to go to school in a few hours. Once we got to our quaint Bavarian-style, two-story house, Arianna and I flopped onto the couch to watch a little TV before school. There really was no point in sleeping now, and I was too wired to sleep anyway. Trey wasn’t, and passed out immediately on one of the other couches. It saddened me that he wouldn’t remember…that he’d already forgotten, but as I squeezed Arianna’s hand, I took comfort in the fact that she still remembered, and more amazingly, she still wanted to be with me. And I wanted to be with her too.
A huge blanket was draped across the massive white couch that I was sitting on; its deep red color was the same shade as the blood it was covering. Halina’s blood, from her night of being poisoned with silver. This couch would eventually have to be tossed. Seeing that I was safe and settled with my girl, Halina escaped to an underground cellar that Dad and Gabriel had put in for her. It wasn’t as spacious and luxurious as her rooms back at the ranch, but it was better than sleeping in the ground. And while Halina had time to zip to the ranch before the sun came up, from the look on her face when she slipped away, it was clear she wanted to stay close to us tonight. Or, to be more accurate, today.
The rest of my tired family shuffled upstairs. Except Starla and Jacen. Once they received Gabriel’s
permission, they headed home. Gabriel stayed on the couch in the living room, watching me with curious, scientific eyes. I knew he was examining my bond with my sister. That was usually the reason for him studying us. He was fascinated with our connected feelings, and he was probably wondering exactly what I’d gone through tonight. Normally I’d talk to him about it, answer all his questions, but I was too emotionally tired, the stress too fresh. Being terrified, heartbroken, scared, and in pain was hard enough to face on your own. Having it amplified by my sister had been excruciating. But we’d done it, and we were fine now. Nika was resting peacefully, and I was content with Arianna by my side. All was well…for now.
GOING TO SCHOOL was…strange. So much had happened to me recently that it felt surreal to be on campus. And none of the students around seemed to realize just how climatic yesterday had been. Everyone was milling about, having conversations about mundane, trivial stuff. It was a kind of disheartening. I wanted someone to know, someone to care, someone to acknowledge just what my sister and I had gone through.
Arianna squeezed my hand as she leaned into my side. Looking down at her, I saw the encouragement in her eyes and remembered that, for the first time ever, I did have someone on the outside who knew, someone who cared. Smiling, I whispered, “I’m glad you know everything.” My eyes indicated the school grounds, so she would understand what I meant.
Her green-brown eyes surveyed the students around us. Looking as shocked as I felt, she muttered, “It’s so strange that they don’t realize…” Her mystified eyes returned to mine. “They all think a car backfired yesterday. None of them suspect…” She didn’t finish explaining, but her eyes spoke volumes.
Loving that I wasn’t alone, I leaned down to briefly press my lips to hers. Her hand tightened in mine. As I pulled away from her, my shoulder was violently shoved. I glanced back to see a very confused Trey staring at me. “Dude? Are you two gettin’ it on now?”
Arianna scoffed at Trey’s comment while I rolled my eyes. “We’re dating, if that’s what you mean.”
Trey’s jaw dropped to his chest. “When the hell did that happen?”
Arianna and I looked at each other and laughed. When indeed. Glancing up at Trey, I muttered, “Don’t worry about it, man.”
He shrugged; it was already forgotten. “Where’s Nika?” he asked, his bright and sober eyes searching for her.
Again, marveling at the power of compulsion, I told him she was sick, and it wasn’t really a lie either. She was sick, in a way. Trey adjusted the backpack on his shoulder. I‘d left mine in my dad’s car at the ranch. I felt naked without it, and I knew I was going to get “talked to” in every class today for forgetting it. If the teachers only knew what had happened last night, they might understand, but I couldn’t tell them, and I’d have to look like an idiot every period.
Trey’s face sympathetic, he told me, “That sucks. Tell her I hope she gets better.” He grinned. “We need her hot body back on campus.”
Cringing, I pushed him away from me. “Dude, she’s my sister.”
Trey chuckled as he walked beside me. Arianna stared at him like he’d just sprouted wings. It must rock her to the core to witness the result of a mind wipe. I’d seen my grandmother steal memories my entire life. I was impressed by it, but I was used to it. I could tell it was going to take Arianna a while to get used to it.
As we approached the main building, a feeling of anticipation went through me. Recognizing it, I glanced to the side and instantly spotted Raquel. She was alone, walking to class by herself. Her head was down, and her dark sheet of hair obscured her face. I couldn’t tell if she was happy or not, and…I wasn’t as concerned about it as I used to be. Raquel’s happiness wasn’t up to me. And if she continued to stay with a man who made her miserable, well, I wouldn’t let myself feel bad about it anymore. She’d made her choice, and I’d made mine, and while Raquel might regret her decision later in life, I felt great about my future.
Turning away from the sight of her, I focused on Arianna instead. She was watching Raquel, too, and when she looked up at me, her expression was guarded. Not wanting her to worry about that old obsession, I stopped, cupped her cheek, and leaned in for a nice, slow kiss. Trey slapped my back as he walked by and congratulated me on becoming a man…which technically I wasn’t, not in the way he meant anyway. Ignoring him, I concentrated on the warm, luscious lips beneath mine.
And that was when I heard a soft voice beside me say, “Julian?”
Reluctantly, I pulled away from Arianna, and twisted to face the person who’d interrupted us.
Raquel’s eyes were wide as she stared at us, her tan cheeks pale. Guilt went through me at seeing the pain in her eyes, but I forced the feeling aside. Still holding Arianna’s hand, I told Raquel, “Hey…what’s up?”
Raquel blinked in surprise at my casual question. Closing her eyes for a second, her cheeks flushing with color, Raquel sputtered, “Ah, nothing, I just…” She opened her dark eyes, her expression was overflowing with pain. “I didn’t realize you two were…together,” she finished, her voice cracking.
Confused over her reaction, I stammered with my response. “Yeah, we…uh…started dating last night.” Arianna’s hand tightened in mine, and I stroked her thumb in reassurance; I hadn’t changed my mind—she was who I wanted.
Raquel’s eyes dropped to the ground. “Oh, I see…” Peeking up at me, she whispered, “I broke up with Russell last night.” Her eyes watered as she said it.
My heart stopped, and for a second I couldn’t breathe. I’d been waiting for those words for so long…
I felt Arianna minutely pull away from me as I stood there, gaping. I couldn’t stop my stunned expression. If this had happened a few days ago, I would have immediately asked Raquel to be mine, but things were so different now. I was with Arianna, fully and completely, and I just didn’t feel the same way about Raquel; the feelings really had vanished.
Snapping my mouth shut, I moved closer to Arianna again. “I’m really sorry to hear that, Raquel. I know you cared about him. The light of hope in Raquel’s eyes faded as my words sunk in. Keeping my voice friendly, but sympathetic, I told her, “But honestly, I think it’s for the best. He was a jerk who didn’t deserve you. I’m sure you’ll find someone else soon who actually makes you happy.”
I started to walk away, my heart pounding in my ears, but Raquel grabbed my arm. Tears dripping down her cheeks now, she said, “Can we talk for a minute alone, Julian? Just you…and me.” Her dark, watery eyes darted between Arianna and me, and there was almost an edge of panic in them.
The pain on her face was difficult to witness, but there was nothing more I could say to comfort her, and going somewhere with her alone felt wildly inappropriate. I wasn’t about to play those kinds of games with Arianna. “I’m sorry, Raquel…but no, I can’t go somewhere private with you. And I’m sorry you’re hurting, but I can’t be your shoulder to cry on. Not anymore. Just know that you did the right thing, and you’ll be okay.”
I turned again to walk away, but before I could, Raquel said, “But I left him for you. I finally made a choice. I want you, Julian.” She looked embarrassed to be saying that in front of Arianna, but she looked desperate, too, like she saw me slipping away. What she didn’t realize was that I’d already slipped…I was already gone.
I could feel the anger building in Arianna as she tightened her grip on my hand, and I figured she was about three seconds away from going after Raquel. Putting a comforting palm on Arianna’s shoulder, I whispered, “It’s okay,” and turned back to Raquel. “You’re too late, Raquel. You broke my heart after the party. Before that even. You chose Russell every single time, and I made a choice to stop holding onto something that wasn’t mine. I moved on…and I’m happy, truly happy. And I know you’ll be happy one day too, but it won’t be with me. We’re not meant to be.” I squeezed Arianna’s hand, letting her know that she was my “meant to be.”
Raquel’s lip quavered as she absorbed wha
t I was saying. Shaking her head, she turned around and walked away. A weary exhale left me as I watched her leave. I hadn’t wanted to hurt her. And she probably hadn’t wanted to hurt me either. But that was what happened when feelings were one-sided. Hopefully, she let her crush on me go, and found someone who liked her back. Someone better than Russell.
Arianna’s arms circled me, and I twisted to look at her. Eyes glossy, she rested her head on my shoulder. “You turned her down…for me. You really are over her, aren’t you?”
Nodding, I smiled. “Yeah, I am. You’re the one I want, Arianna.”
She kissed the sleeve of my jacket. “Good, because I’ve wanted to be with you for forever, and it’s about time you caught up.”
She gave me a wink, and my heart beat harder. God, she was so beautiful, so accepting, so…amazing. Why had it taken me so long to realize it? I had a goofy grin on my face as I walked through the door, and even though I did get reprimanded by every teacher for not having my stuff, I’d never enjoyed school more.
I was exhausted by the end of it. Going for two days on little-to-no sleep was messing with my head. I was so tired that I would start to laugh for no reason during class, then, moments later, I would begin to nod off. Arianna and Trey smacked me awake on more than one occasion. When Starla picked me up at the end of the day, I was practically asleep on my feet.
After giving Arianna a long kiss in the parking lot, I told her that I’d call her later tonight. With a half-smile on her lips, she looked over my sleep-deprived eyes and told me she’d see me tomorrow. I supposed she was right. Once I found a bed, I probably wouldn’t rise from it for a while.
I didn’t even make it to a bed—I fell asleep in Starla’s car on the way home. When I woke up, I was in my bedroom and there was a lively debate going on downstairs. Wishing I could sleep until morning, I yawned and stretched. Sensing my sister’s presence back at home made me smile. She was feeling better—sore and in pain, but better. Her heart, though, was another matter. It was broken, mangled, and would take much longer to heal than her external wounds.