I grabbed the bacon and eggs out of the fridge in a panic, slammed them on the bench, and whirled to point my finger warningly at the pair of them. “If you so much as breathe –”
“Does Mac know what?” I heard shouted from the front door, interrupting my important warning.
Mac was home. Impeccable timing as usual.
“Keep your mouths shut,” I hissed.
I shifted to the walk-in pantry to get the bread and sauce out when I heard Cooper wasting no time informing Mac of recent events.
“Jared and Evie did it.”
Jesus, this was like high school.
I heard a loud squeal, and I felt a shove from behind. I turned around to see Mac crowding me into the pantry as she shut the door behind her.
Everything went dark.
“Mac! What the fuck?”
I scrambled for the light switch, and it stayed on long enough for me to catch the euphoric gleam in her evil eyes before the bulb blew.
“Shit,” she muttered. “Why the fuck does the pantry light always blow?”
“Maybe because it knows you’re up to evil deeds.”
“Evil deeds?” she returned.
“Yes, locking me in the pantry is hardly the stuff of―”
“Whatever. Apparently, shit has gone down while I’ve been shopping and I want details.”
“Shopping?” I squeaked, aiming for deflection. “You went shopping without—”
“Shut. Up.”
“Talk, shut up, talk, shut up.” My stomach growled painfully. “I don’t suppose this can wait until after lunch?” I asked hopefully.
Mac tinkled an evil laugh in answer. I was fading from hunger. I reached for a shelf and hung on tight before I fainted at her feet. In the interest of food, I gave up and laid it out really fast. There wasn’t much to say anyway except we did it, and now I was off to the doctors for the pill at some stage this afternoon. I still needed to make that appointment. How long did it take to get pregnant anyway? I didn’t mean for the last part to slip out. I could really relate to that Snickers commercial right now: You’re not you when you’re hungry.
“Oh my lord.” Mac breathed. “I’m going to be an aunty!” she finished on a yell.
“Jesus, Macface, don’t get carried away. We had unprotected sex once, okay, twice.”
I winced, knowing I had opened up a whole new avenue of shopping heaven. Frilly baby pink dresses with bows and ruffles, pinafores, booties, hanging fairy mobiles. If it wasn’t so dark, I'd see all that and more flashing across Mac’s face.
“Oh, Sandwich.”
Somehow finding me in the darkness, she yanked me towards her and squeezed me in a hug. “I’m so excited and happy for you. It’s going to be perfect. Trust yourself just this one time, and I promise you it will all be worth it.”
Tears pricked my eyes at her sudden kindness. I wasn’t used to it. “We’ll see,” I muttered. “Now let me out of here so I can eat something.”
Mac opened the pantry door and shoved me out, bread and sauce in my arms. Everyone was sitting around in the lounge room talking, and by everyone I meant Henry, Frog, Cooper, and Jake who had conveniently woken up and come over. Travis and Coby were there to collect Jared and go do whatever it was that they did. Dining room chairs had been pulled over to complete the huddle.
I took a moment to hope they were discussing the Jimmy Farrell knife wielding incident rather than updating on the morning's events.
Conversations ceased and all eyes swivelled to me as I burst out of the dark pantry, wincing as the sudden light burned my eyes.
“So,” Mac shouted cheerfully from behind me as she boogied over to the kitchen counter and started pulling bacon rashers out of the packet. “Who’s up for a bacon and egg sandwich?”
Jared ignored Mac’s question, instead asking me if I’d managed to make the doctors appointment yet.
“The doctors?” Coby interjected.
“Not yet. I’ll do it in a minute and let you know what time we need to go,” I said as I got a pan out of the cupboard.
“What time we need to go?” Coby echoed.
“What is going on?” Henry shouted over the top of everyone.
Mac laughed delightedly. “Evie’s having a baby!”
Mac, it seemed, had a death wish.
I gave her a look that promised payback was a bitch while everyone in the room froze. Except for Jared, who was looking at me with what appeared to be a tender expression.
“Mac!” I hissed. “What are you doing?”
I started stalking towards her with the pan, intent on carrying out my threat, and she shrieked and ran in to the lounge room to hide behind Frog. I looked to Jared for help, but he just sat there, arms folded, looking amused.
Jake looked doubtfully at my stomach. “You’re having a baby? You don’t look pregnant.”
All eyes then swivelled to stare at my stomach.
“Who’s the father?” Henry demanded to know, obviously starting to wonder how long I’d been sleeping with Jared and what had been going on with Tate and I. Really, what sort of skank did everyone think I was?
This was getting out of hand. I shoved the pan back on the bench, lamenting the fact that the end of time would arrive before I got to eat something. God, I’d take a piece of Jared’s birdseed bread at this rate.
“No one is the father,” I ground out through clenched teeth, hands fisted by my side. “I’m not pregnant. Mac has clearly lost the plot.”
“Evie,” Coby warned. “Maybe we need to have a chat?”
“It’s a bit late for the birds and bees man,” Cooper threw in.
Frog and Jake laughed. I started pulling out slices from the bread packet and laying them out in a frenzy. Not waiting any longer, I started shovelling a piece of bread in my mouth.
“If you’re not pregnant, then why are you going to the doctors?” Coby asked, sounding doubtful of my pregnancy denial as he watched me shovel bread in my face like the world was ending (which it must have been considering I was actually getting something to eat). “Are you sick?” He gave me the once over, apparently concluding with confusion that I looked healthy as a horse.
“I’ll tell you later,” I said.
“No,” Jake ordered. “If you’re not well, I want to know too, so you can just tell all of us.”
“Yeah,” echoed Henry and Frog.
Jared, obviously having had enough, finally entered the conversation. “She’s going on the pill.”
“Oh my God!” I wailed around a mouthful of bread. “Did you have to tell everyone that?” I folded my arms and glared at him as I chewed.
So not only does everyone now know we did it; they all knew we planned on doing it regularly. Well, Jared was shit out of luck now because I decided my girl parts were going into hibernation. He shrugged at me, not grasping the situation.
“Christ, Jared,” Coby interjected. “Maybe it’s you and me that should be having that talk.” Coby looked pissed off.
Jared looked at Coby and nodded. “Later.”
Everyone turned to eyeball my stomach warily as it growled loud enough to be heard in the next state.
Determined to take the focus off me and deflect it elsewhere, I gave Mac a malicious smile.
“So, Mac,” I asked. “What’s the deal with you and Marcus?”
She glared at me. Everyone turned from staring at my stomach to look at Mac, apparently rather interested to hear what she had to say.
“I don’t know. He asked me out,” she admitted.
“Seriously?” I squealed. “He’s hot, Mac.”
Jared glared at me for that comment. Jesus, I wasn't blind.
“Would you sleep with him?”
“I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.” She grinned.
I laughed as I saw her look of panic when she realised what I’d made her say. My work done, I put the pan on the stove and started heating it for the eggs.
“You’re not sleeping with him, Mac, or anyone else,” Jar
ed ordered.
“Sleeping with who?” Travis butted in on the conversation as he came back from bathroom.
I turned to face Jared, narrowing my eyes. “So what?” My tone was still a little pissy after Pillgate. “It’s okay for me to sleep with you, but Mac can’t sleep with anyone?”
Travis' eyes bugged out at this particular comment.
“That’s right,” Jared nodded.
Coby started going red in the face, and I winced as I imagined the type of words he'd be having with Jared later.
“Jesus, I’m not a nun. I have slept with guys before,” Mac unwisely added.
I saw Jake shake his head and Travis winced. “Well make like a nun, Mac,” Travis demanded. “Don’t wanna hear about you fucking anyone.”
Mac threw her hands up in the air. “Fine, I’ll just be sure not to tell either of you when I do,” she barked at the both of them before stalking over to the kitchen to mash the bread around that I’d laid out and buttered.
“Thanks a bunch, asshead,” she hissed.
I waved the butter knife in her direction. “At least I stood up for you there. You just threw me to the wolves.”
She sounded a little hurt. “I had a reason, Sandwich. You and Jared need to get your shit together. I was just trying to speed up the process.”
“Jesus, Mac. It’s been like an episode of Days of Our Lives here this morning, and now Jared and I seem to be on the fast track to God knows where. I’ve not only slept with him, but now I’m having a pregnancy scare, and we’re off to the doctors for the pill!”
How much faster did she need things to progress?
She smiled and nudged my shoulder. “I’m happy for you, Evie.”
I sighed and got back to the more important business of finally getting the bacon and eggs I’d been almost dying for the moment I woke up.
Chapter Ten
Four days post Pillgate, and three days after Jared left for a trip to Adelaide for work, I was pulling into the driveway of Coby’s hillside split level home in North Bondi for the chat.
I sat in the car, not looking forward to what Coby would have to say. As you can imagine, I had several relationship type chats with Coby over the years. They were never a delightful experience and usually included several stern words on his part and excessive use of internal eye rolling on my part. Obviously, Jared would be the main feature in tonight’s topic of conversation.
I grabbed the two bottles of wine that were sitting on the passenger seat of my car (one would simply not do) and using my key, let myself into Coby’s house.
“I’m here,” I yelled out.
“Kitchen, honey,” he shouted back.
I made my way down the stairs through the split level home and looked out to see Coby give me a wave from the kitchen below. I waved back and walked across the balcony and down the stairs towards the open concept kitchen, lounge, and dining area. Bi-fold doors off to one side sectioned off a huge room that housed a bar, pool table, and television the size of a small country.
I reached the kitchen, sat the wine on the bench, and wrapped my arms around Coby for a giant bear hug, pulling back to inspect his face.
“You look like you could drop. You look like shit.”
He snorted. “Lucky you don’t work in PR, honey. You suck at it. I’m tired, that’s all, but I’ve got a day off tomorrow. I thought we could spend it together. I haven’t seen you properly since you moved here. Can you swing it?”
Tomorrow was Thursday. We had rehearsals and were halfway through writing two new songs. Plus, we needed to hit the store to upgrade some of our equipment.
“Of course I can swing it,” I said with a confident smile, vowing to text Mac and plead for the day off. The bribe of a shoe purchase would grease the wheels.
“Okay.” He gave the bottles of wine a pointed glance. “You driving? You can stay over if you like. Tomorrow we could pack a picnic and spend the day at the beach.”
“Sounds great.” I nodded happily. “We’d just need to stop at my place on the way in the morning so I can grab my beach things.”
He opened up the bag of food on the counter and the scent of Chinese hit my nose, sending me into the giddy heights of takeaway heaven.
“Mr. Chow’s?” I asked excitedly as I opened the cupboard for a couple of wine glasses. I’d had Mr. Chow’s on a previous visit to Sydney once. Even getting a takeaway booking from that place was the equivalent of winning a ticket for a round trip flight to the moon.
He grinned. “Is there any other kind of Chinese?”
“Um, no! How did you manage that?” I asked as I poured out two glasses of wine, keen to know the secret for future use.
“Forget it, honey, you don’t have the right equipment,” he said with a laugh and started carrying plates to the dining table.
I scowled as I followed him and carried in the wine.
“We’re pretty sure the manager is gay. None of us guys seem to have a problem getting takeaway there,” he explained.
Of course they didn’t. They were like part of the Awesome Hot Guy Society. Instead of Jamieson and Valentine: Badass Brigade, maybe it should be Jamieson and Valentine: Bootylicious Boys, or Jamieson and Valentine: Bootylicious Brigade of Badass Boys.
I sat down at the table and started dishing food out on my plate. “How do you know he’s gay? Is there a secret gay handshake that I don’t know about? That has to be discrimination against people with girl parts,” I complained, unhappy at the thought of having to bribe Coby to get my Mr. Chow fix in the future. “There must be a name for it.” I pointed my fork at Coby. “Vaginacrimination. I’ll Google it.”
Coby snorted and shook his head as he chewed and swallowed. “You know, he’s patted Jared on the ass more than once.”
I choked on an egg roll. “Seriously?”
Coby nodded with a laugh as I coughed and spluttered. “Yep.”
“No, seriously as in Jared bought Chinese takeaway?”
Was there hope for him yet?
“Chinese isn’t all egg rolls and honey chicken, Evie. They make steamed vegetables and rice too.”
I shook my head sadly at the waste of using a Mr. Chow’s order for something that sounded about as yummy as a pile of dirt.
Coby stood up. “Another glass?”
“You plan on getting me shitfaced so I’ll spill my secrets?”
“Maybe.” He grinned. “Do you have secrets?” he asked as he grabbed the wine bottle out of the fridge and came back over to top off our glasses.
“Of course I don’t have secrets,” I lied around a mouthful of food. “I tell you everything, Coby.”
He sat back down and took a sip of wine. “I know you, Evie, and if you think I believe that, you must think me stupid.”
“What you choose to believe or not believe is beyond my control, Coby.”
“That’s probably the smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”
“Why, do you think me ordinarily stupid?” I asked, starting to build up a good snit which had nothing to do with me trying to deflect the conversation bearing down on me like a freight train.
“Of course not. I just simply question your judgement sometimes.”
“You think I don’t?”
“Speaking of which,” he continued without acknowledging my question, “it’s time to tell me what’s going on with you and Jared.”
Obviously my deflection wasn’t worth the effort; that was the trouble with having conversations with people who knew you too well.
As I took a gulp of wine my handbag buzzed a message, and thankful for the interruption, I reached in my bag to retrieve my phone.
J: Home from Adelaide, baby. Where are you?
E: Dinner at Coby’s for our chat.
He knew it was coming. He and Coby had words the other day. Jared had told me, though he refused to give a blow by blow commentary of what was said, much to my disgust.
I put the phone down and picked up my wine. “What did you say to Jared?”
He pointed his fork at me. “That’s between him and me.”
I took a sip of my wine to calm myself. It didn’t work, so I sat my glass down, picked up my fork, and polished off the last mouthful of food. “If it involves me, which it did, then I have a right to know.”
“Ask Jared then.”
Argh, bloody men.
It was lucky I was being plied with wine and exceptional Chinese food, otherwise this conversation had the potential to escalate into sibling violence.
J: Do you need me there?
Oh would you look at that? Jared had my back. The mere thought calmed me instantly, and if I’d have realised it did that, it would have thrown me into a complete panic and reversed the whole effect.
Coby put down his fork and gave me a look I couldn’t interpret. “Evie, he’s not who I would have chosen for you.”
I played dumb. “Who’s not?” I might’ve been summoned for the chat, but it didn’t mean I had to make it easy for him.
He rolled his eyes at me in exasperation.
“Okay,” I relented. “Who would you choose for me?”
I sat back in my chair, holding my wine as I waited to hear of the supposed virtues of the chosen one.
He looked thoughtful for a moment. “Honestly? I don’t know. I just know I don’t want Jared to be the one for you.”
“Newsflash, Coby, it’s not about what you want.”
“Dammit, Evie!” He stood up so hard and fast his chair tipped over. “No, it’s not about what I want, but after everything that you’ve been through, that I’ve been through watching you, I should get a goddamn say.”
J: Baby?
Jared was waiting for a reply, and Coby was standing there waiting for a reply. Angry that choices I’d made left me unable to trust myself, made me a person that Coby couldn’t trust, and feeling backed into a corner, I snapped off a reply to Jared.
E: No, dammit. I don’t need you.
I put the phone down. “Fine, Coby. You don’t trust me. I don’t trust me. Where do I go from here? If you want your goddamn say, tell me what the fuck I do now?”