Which was ridiculous. This wasn’t a game, and they probably wouldn’t use a whiteboard anyway. They’d communicate in that eerie silence, either through telepathy or simply by knowing one another well enough, as Ariane seemed to understand them within seconds of seeing them.
It was that sense of unity, the thread that bound them together as the only (as far as we knew) aliens on the planet, that plucked at my nerves. They belonged to each other, somehow. Certainly, Ford, Nixon, and Carter, but also Ariane, too. Jealousy was sort of new to me, but I was pretty sure that’s what this was. I’d been jealous of Quinn for years, and the feeling was similar.
They wouldn’t be helpless in this situation.
I leaned against the doorway, resisting the urge to drum my fingers nervously against the wall.
“What can you tell me about Quorosene?” Ariane asked my mom, startling me out of my thoughts.
“I don’t…you’re talking about Ford and the others?” My mom sounded confused at the transition.
“Yes,” Ariane said. “What can you tell me about Quorosene?”
I shifted uneasily against the doorjamb. She wasn’t seriously considering this. She couldn’t be.
My mom frowned. “Not much. It’s part of the hybrids’ treatment plan.”
“What is your security clearance?” Ariane pressed, kneeling down in front of my mother to keep her attention. “Is it sufficient to get access to the Quorosene?”
“N-no.” My mother shook her head. “I don’t have—”
“Can you confirm that Dr. Laughlin keeps a supply in his office?” Ariane asked.
I straightened up, my heart pounding too hard.
“It’s possible. He doesn’t trust many people with—”
“Ariane, can I talk to you for a second?” I asked. The words came out too harshly, all broken edges and sharp.
Ariane turned to me and gave a brief nod before standing up and heading toward me.
She had to know what I was going to say, and yet she followed me into the tiny hallway without a word of protest.
I raked my hand through my hair. “You’re kidding me with this, right?” I burst out. Okay, not the best approach. I took a deep breath and tried again. “Why are you asking about that stuff now?”
Emotion flickered across her face before she contained it. “You know that even if I trade myself for Quinn, that will be no guarantee of his safety or yours. If anything, it might be worse. He knows I’ll do whatever is necessary to protect you from hurt or harm, and if I refuse to cooperate with him…” A tiny furrow appeared in her forehead, a big expression for her when she was in this battle-ready mode. A sign of how much the idea distressed her.
“That’s why I don’t want you to do that.” But I wanted, needed, her to do something.
She nodded, clearly picking up on what I was thinking but offering no more.
I sighed, feeling years older and weary suddenly. “So what am I missing?”
Her gaze focused on a distant point beyond me. “They’re holding Quinn at GTX. In my cell, in fact. I recognized the wall behind him.”
I closed my eyes, feeling that slip of gravity that always accompanied devastating, unexpected, and unwelcome news. If Quinn was at GTX, getting him out would be next to impossible. I’d only succeeded with Ariane because we’d had help and no one had been expecting it. We would not have that luck a second time.
“I don’t know if Dr. Jacobs is trying to warn me away or lure me into coming after Quinn. But either way—”
I opened my eyes. “We’d be walking into a trap.”
She nodded again, a slight inclination of her chin more than anything.
“So, what are you thinking?” I made myself ask, even though the tightening in my gut told me I already knew the answer to this.
Hesitation flashed across her face, her emotions breaking through. “There’s only one option that makes sense,” she said.
“You want to try to free the hybrids first,” I said dully.
“It’s more than that,” she insisted. “This is our one chance to stop the trials. If we’re all free, then the competition is over. And Dr. Jacobs won’t have any reason to hold your brother or come after you.” She moved toward me, as though she’d touch my arm.
I backed away.
She froze, her hand in midair.
“And what I think doesn’t matter?” I demanded, frustrated. It seemed we were a team, but only when I agreed with her tactics.
“What other option do you suggest?” she asked calmly, which somehow made it worse.
“I don’t know!” I shouted. “I’m not the master strategist here. Just a regular old human.” It was a low blow and not fair but the only way I could express this growing sense of being out of my league. I was an object to be worked around, extra baggage to be shuffled.
She trusted them more than me. That’s what it felt like. And why shouldn’t she? On the surface, they had more in common, they were advanced in ways I’d never completely understand, let alone be able to compete with.
Ariane’s eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to speak.
Never one to stop when the stopping was good, I kept going. “Even as ‘limited’ as I am, though, I can tell you that anything—even strolling through the front entrance at GTX—is better than walking into the trap Ford has set for you.”
“Zane—”
“Mark my words, you walk in the door at Laughlin’s place and they are going to make sure it swings closed after you,” I said darkly. “For good.”
“You don’t know that. You don’t know them,” she said, her tone gentle.
Neither do you, I wanted to scream. But that wouldn’t help my case. “Ford has more reasons to work against you than with you. And I know plenty. I saw the way she reacted to you. To us.” The words escaped before I could stop them, and I grimaced.
A frown appeared on her forehead. “Is that what this is about? What she said?” She lifted her chin up, challenging me.
“No, no.” I shook my head fiercely. I didn’t want the conversation to take this turn. In my mind, Ford’s sneering implication that Ariane was lowering herself to be with me only proved that Ford didn’t respect Ariane or her decisions. But to bring that up now would seem like nothing more than insecurity on my part, and I had a valid point beyond that, which was that Ariane didn’t know jack shit about these people. If they were even people. They were so distant and freaking strange.
I caught myself, but not in time. Watching Ariane, it was as if a curtain dropped across her face, wiping away all expression. “Because she’s not human,” she said flatly. “Or, not human enough for you, anyway.”
Fuck. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to,” she said in that same even, dead tone.
“Don’t do this,” I said quickly. “Ford is nothing like you. She is—”
“—exactly like me, except for the years of training myself to look and act like the full-blooded. I take it you prefer that.”
I threw my hands up. “Compared to Ford? Hell, yes, but that’s not my point.” Absurdly, I could feel my eyes burning with tears. Where was the girl who trusted me? Who thought I was worthy? I could feel her slipping away from me, no matter how hard I tried to tighten my grip. “I like you for who you are.”
She stiffened. “Good to know you like me.”
And I didn’t realize why she was upset until I played back my words in my head.
I’d downgraded her from love to like.
“I didn’t mean…I wasn’t taking it back.” I fumbled for the right words. God, they had to be here somewhere, right? Something to convince her. “I was just trying to make a point.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Point made.”
I wanted to grab her arms and shake her, but I suspected that wouldn’t go over so well. So I kept my hands firmly locked at my sides. “This is what she wants. Don’t you see that?” I pleaded. “She’s manipulating. She wants to turn you to their side.”
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Ariane took two quick steps toward me. “What side? Whose side?” She poked her finger at my chest. “As far as I can tell, there’s only the people who want to use us, abuse us, and keep us in cages, and everyone else.”
“You’re lumping me in with Jacobs now?” I stared at her, aghast. “I just want you to be safe.”
“So does he, I’m sure.” With that, she turned and walked away, down the stairs.
Stunned, I just watched her go, words pounding on the inside of my brain, begging to be set free. But I knew already that none of them would have made a difference.
I STORMED THROUGH MARA’S KITCHEN and out the sliding glass door, heading toward the empty house and our van—my van—in the driveway.
How blind did Zane think I was? I knew that Ford made him uncomfortable. He’d practically oozed disgust earlier today.
And whether he wanted to admit it or not, she and I were cut from the same cloth. Literally, if one considered DNA as a weaving of a sort.
My eyes welled with unshed tears. How could he not see that the things he hated in Ford were in me too? And beyond that, why couldn’t he trust me anyway? Hadn’t I proved myself worthy of that, at least?
In that moment, I envied Ford, just a little. She wasn’t alone, trying to figure all of this out. There were three of them. She would never have to choose sides between human and other because she had a side of her own with Carter and Nixon.
But that didn’t mean I was foolish enough to have blind faith in her. In any of them. Getting Ford and the others away from Laughlin truly was the best strategy to save all of us, including Quinn. And yeah, working with Ford left us open to betrayal, but I already had a plan in mind to address that. A plan that I would have gladly shared with Zane if he’d bothered to hear me out.
Is it possible you’re overreacting? my human side nudged. You know he wasn’t suggesting that you were less than human, just different. And Ford is a bit of a freak, if we’re being honest.
It was just that his reaction brought up this horrible, inescapable fear in me that, maybe, what Ford had said was right. Maybe I wasn’t being true to myself around him; I was still hiding behind my human facade. And that, in turn, raised the ugly specter of Dr. Jacobs’s and Mara’s words—that I didn’t belong out here. That what I wanted couldn’t be mine. Because, as a freak of science or manufactured miracle of human ingenuity, whatever you want to call it, I didn’t deserve it. Those dreams were reserved for “real” people.
Tears ran down my cheeks and dripped off my chin. I swiped at them angrily. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with Zane. It had been a mistake. I’d been fooling myself.
We were too different. He wanted me to trust full-blooded humans. First a few reporters, and then a whole planet full of them, to keep me safe. How was that any less risky than what Ford had suggested? My track record with humans was already, forgive the pun, less than stellar.
I inhaled slowly, trying to calm myself down. All I’d wanted was a small, normal life. Something to call my own. Something real. And I’d wanted it to be with Zane. A chance to go on a date, maybe, without worrying about someone following us or abducting me out of the bathroom.
But that was not to be. Not now. Maybe not ever.
And yet, I was still here. I still had choices to make and things to do. Right now, if I wanted to beat the deadline on Quinn’s video, I had about twenty-four hours to get into Laughlin Integrated, find the Quorosene, and get back out.
And that started with returning to Linwood Academy before Ford, Nixon, and Carter left for “home.” I figure I had maybe forty-five minutes to make the trip, and that would be cutting it close, especially with a stop at drugstore for the supplies I needed.
I squared my shoulders as I reached the sidewalk of the house we’d been using as a home base. Zane may not have agreed with my course of action. Fine. But he wasn’t here anymore. It was up to me. And there was some relief in that. I would do what I needed to do.
I ducked inside the house and found the keys where Zane had left them, upstairs in the slightly damp bathroom sink. I left as swiftly as I entered, refusing to allow myself to look on any of the dirty rooms with aching fondness or reminiscence, actively blocking all thoughts of our time together.
But when I opened the van and climbed behind the wheel, I discovered that the seat was pushed so far back that it revealed a portion of the floor mat that was the original gray, unfaded by the sun. My feet were miles away from the pedals.
A ripple slipped through my forced calm. What if that was the last time we saw each other? What if I walked away and those were my final words to him?
I didn’t mean what I’d said, not entirely. I knew he wasn’t the same as Dr. Jacobs. But I’d let Zane think I believed otherwise. And now, away from the heat of the moment, the memory of the hurt on his face was a knife to my heart. He’d risked so much for me, and I’d crushed him like he didn’t matter.
I shook my head. No. Thinking like this wasn’t productive. And I didn’t have time for it. Once I was done here, once I’d succeeded in freeing Ford, Carter, and Nixon and ending the competition, thereby saving Quinn and Zane and anybody else GTX might attempt to take to try to control me, then I’d come back. Then I’d see if there was anything left between Zane and me. Assuming he would even be interested. He’d been so angry. My being right might not fix that. I’d learned that a long time ago—sometimes full-blooded humans would rather be wrong and figure it out for themselves eventually instead of having someone push them toward the correct answer.
But I didn’t have that luxury.
I adjusted the seat, started the engine, and backed out of the driveway, wishing for not the first time in my life that someone had bothered to teach me the mechanics of gaming traffic signals. What good was telekinesis, if not for creating a stream of green lights when you needed it?
Regular school buses, looking shockingly out of place compared to the rest of Linwood Academy, were lined up out in front of the school along with any number of shiny cars with convoluted hood ornaments. The more complicated, the more expensive, was my observation.
But, thankfully, I didn’t see a single navy-blazered student.
The space near the back of the lot where Zane and I had parked earlier was full now. And I couldn’t help but notice the dark SUV with tinted windows, idling nearby.
Crap.
I drove past, hoping it looked like I was searching for a parking space. I couldn’t let them see me. Which sort of ruled out sneaking in the front door again.
Thinking, I tapped my fingers on the wheel and then stopped as soon as I realized what I was doing. It was a nervous fidget I’d picked up from Zane. Even away from him, I couldn’t escape his lingering effects.
With an effort, I refocused my attention on the problem at hand. The dark SUV’s presence ruled out the “sneaking” part, yes. But not necessarily the “in” portion of the equation. If there was no way around them seeing me, then I’d have to do the next best thing: act like I didn’t care.
I made a quick loop around the parking lot and pulled into an open space, marked reserved, right near the covered entrance.
If appearing to skulk might draw attention, then behaving like an entitled student would, especially around here, make me blend right in. Except for my distinctly nonluxury vehicle. But hopefully they’d be more focused on me and not my ride.
With shaking fingers, I tugged at the knots in the scarf around my neck until the fabric pulled free. Then I wound it around and through my ponytail, tying it off at the end.
It wasn’t fashionable, but it would cover most of my distinctive hair, made even more so now by a hastily application of bleach in a CVS bathroom to eliminate my lowlights.
I was hedging that Laughlin’s men weren’t as well versed in female fashion as other important skills like takedowns and hand-to-hand combat.
I slung my emergency duffel bag over my shoulder and climbed down from the van, hurrying for the door.
Please, God, make me look like a student running late to something.
It might have worked, but the bell rang.
Crap.
A swarm of people dressed just like I was immediately flooded out, leaving me the sole body moving upstream.
Well, at least it would make it tougher for Laughlin’s guys to find me, if they were looking.
Of course, that would also make it equally tough to find Ford before she spilled out with everyone else.
I kept my head up as best I could, looking for the bright flash of white-blond hair. But with my height disadvantage, I wasn’t seeing much but blazer-clad shoulders around me. And the occasional backpack flying toward my face as someone turned to talk to someone else around them.
As I stumbled across the threshold into the entryway, the crowd broke and I nearly fell forward without the press of bodies around me to keep me upright.
A hand caught my wrist and yanked me up with less care and more impatience.
I looked up to find Ford staring down at me, her mouth a flat line of displeasure.
Without a word, Nixon and Carter stepped around me, one in front and one behind. Hiding me, I guess. It made a kind of sense—I’d sort of blend in between them and most people’s glances would skim right over the top of me. Hopefully.
“Why are you here?” Ford demanded.
“You said it was up to me to figure out how to get in. I have a plan.”
Her gaze searched me, as if looking for building blueprints and rappelling equipment. Then a slow smile spread over her face.
I shivered. It was disconcerting and eerie.
“You want to be me,” she said. I could almost feel Nixon and Carter tense.
“No,” I said with a touch too much sharpness. “I want to pretend to be you. Temporarily.” I wasn’t surprised that she’d figured it out. As I’d told Zane, I’d recognized my own pattern of thinking in what she’d said to us in the practice room. Her logic was cold, unfriendly, maybe, yes, but I had that same voice living in the back of my head.
“We are a unit. It is not easy for us to be separated for any length of time or distance,” Carter offered, his voice softer than when he was speaking for Ford. “Until we’re out of range, Ford will feel compelled to rejoin us. We’ve tried to…separate before.”