Because he wasn’t real.
The man I’d made him into, the idea I’d dreamed up… was just that. An idea.
Troy was real. And interested in me. And frickin’ amazing.
I leaned up on my tippy toes and searched the back of the bar, but I couldn’t find him. There were too many people between me and him.
God, why had it taken so long to see what was right in front of my face this whole time?
The song ended and the crowd went wild. I was forced to turn around and hold my ground before I got trampled under the press of the crowd.
Jake leaned into the mic and shouted, “Make some noise! Show them who you want!”
The crowd screamed louder, stomping their feet and going wild for the band.
“Tell them who you want to win!” Jake screamed into the mic.
I forgot about Troy for a minute and let myself enjoy this moment. No matter how my feelings had changed in the last few hours, Jake was still something to behold. I was happy for him and this night. I didn’t need to hear any of the other bands to know that he had won it. The crowd was totally bonkers for him right now.
Someone started chanting “Fresh Suicide” in the back and soon enough the whole place was yelling it. The walls seemed to shake and the air vibrated with their demands.
Jake strutted around on stage, eating up the attention and glory.
Gina and I looked at each other and laughed at the bands antics as they soaked in the massive praise.
We were trapped where we were. The crowd pressed even closer now that the music was over and someone would be crowned king of the night.
One of Mad Dog’s bartenders ran on stage and motioned for the other bands to come out. The stage filled with goth, punk and hairband rockers all grouped together with their own.
The crowd still hadn’t given up its Fresh Suicide chant and it took the MC several minutes to calm down.
“I hear ya!” he shouted at them. “But let me do my frickin’ job!”
Eventually it got quiet enough he could talk. “Besides,” he continued, flashing an amused smile, “We still gotta pick a second place.”
The crowd erupted again, totally insane with cheers. The MC gave up and tossed the microphone on the stage. He walked over to Jake and the drummer, a kid named Cory with a legit Mohawk. He grabbed both of their hands and raised them high into the air. Both Cory and Jake jumped and shouted their approval. Cory took one of his drumsticks and flung it into the crowd. The crowd screamed louder.
The whole thing was beyond outrageous. I loved every second of it.
Eventually things calmed down and the people around me stopped crushing me. One of the older, regular bands took the stage and now that the competition was over, everyone started to just hang out.
Jake and his band cleaned up their stuff around the band performing. Gina and I hung out off to the side. I should have gone straight to find Troy, but it wasn’t that simple.
And I was nervous.
“Jake’s coming over here,” Gina shouted over the music.
I followed her gaze and saw that he was looking at us, but stuck in a conversation with some fans. He waved when he caught my eye and nodded his head toward the back.
When all I did was wave back at him, Gina nudged me with her elbow. “I’ve never liked him,” she admitted in my ear.
My eyes bugged and I stared at her. She had never been anything but supportive of my crazy infatuation. “What?”
She smiled unapologetically. “Like Troy said, he should have noticed you sooner. You’ve known him forever, Cass. What’s he been waiting for?”
I shrugged, feeling like an idiot. It was hard to face this truth. I didn’t want to think that it was me, or even that it was him. In my head and all the other times I’d thought about it, I blamed me being too shy or him being too wild. I dressed like a skank, but we both knew I wasn’t one.
My entire life I’d been a good girl and Jake knew that.
It wasn’t until my parents fell apart publically that I gave up on what people thought of me altogether.
“So what are you saying?” I asked her.
She pointed towards the bar. Looking over my shoulder, I found Troy and Mikey at a tall table, looking thoroughly rejected. Even Mikey had his head on his arm. They weren’t talking to each other. They were just sitting together like a bunch of depressed losers.
It made me smile.
“He likes you, Cass.” She had to shout over the music, but I could still tell by her tone that she approved of him. “He’s not totally lame either.”
I thought about the whole day and how much effort he’d gone through to hang out with me. He’d been trying to get my attention the whole year and I’d been too self-absorbed to notice.
God, I was such an airhead.
“So what are you going to do?” Gina asked but before I could answer her I was forced to decide.
Troy sat up straight and tall, all his attention had returned to me. But he wasn’t looking at me. He was staring behind me.
That was how I knew Jake had finally caught up with me. I hadn’t felt Jake appear or noticed that he was near. And even when I turned to him, my body didn’t react in any way. I didn’t get tingles or heart flutters or anything.
And I didn’t see the man of my dreams standing in front of me. I just saw Jake. An old acquaintance and sometimes friend.
“Great show,” I told Jake before he could mention backstage.
His grin stretched from ear to ear. “Wasn’t it? We killed it up there. That was for sure one of our best shows ever. Did you see how we opened? Man, it was boss.”
I just smiled at him. I hadn’t seen how they opened, but he didn’t need to know that.
“That’s awesome.”
“There was a scout here tonight,” he went on. “I haven’t seen him yet, but Cory and Mel saw him earlier. I think he’s gonna come talk to me. I mean, he better come talk to me. We rocked the shit out of this place tonight.”
I glanced over at my shoulder, anxious to find Troy. But he wasn’t there anymore. Either was Mikey. They’d both disappeared.
Panic started to billow inside of me. I didn’t want Troy to think this was what I wanted or that I went backstage with Jake. He needed to know that I wasn’t into Jake anymore.
And maybe that was the craziest thing of all—that after my entire life of wanting this one thing all it had taken was one night for me to see that what I wanted was someone else.
Who I needed was someone else.
Jake kept talking about the band and the scout and the night, but all I could think about was Troy and how I was about to let him leave without knowing anything I felt.
I stumbled forward, anxious to end this conversation and this ridiculous idea of Jake and me. “I have to go,” I blurted.
Jake stuttered to a stop and raised his eyebrows. “What?”
“I—I… I have to go. My friend just left and he’s my ride.”
Jake cocked his head to the side, obviously confused. “I thought we were going to hang out tonight?” The innuendo in his words wasn’t lost on me and it hit me once again how different Troy and Jake were.
Troy had been right. This would be a onetime thing for Jake. He didn’t know me. He didn’t care about me. He lived next door to me and didn’t know shit about my parents.
Troy sat by me in one class and had figured it out from the start.
“We’re not going to,” I told him honestly. “Not tonight. Not any night.”
“What the hell, Cass?” Jake’s eyebrows scrunched down, but his voice lacked any real disappointment. There were plenty of girls he could take “backstage” if I wasn’t willing.
“Sorry, Jake. I have to go. For real. But hey, good luck with the band and stuff!”
I had already started walking away when I heard him ask, “The band and stuff?”
But I didn’t have the time or the patience to deal with his wounded ego. I picked up speed, pushing through the li
ngering crowd.
Gina appeared at my side, “That was frickin’ awesome! Holy shit, Cass! That was righteous!”
I smiled at her, feeling very righteous. “I know!”
We shared a laugh, but it only lasted a second. “Where’d they go?” she asked.
We burst from the building, sucking in the clean, cool air from outside. My hands skated down the front of me and I realized I was still wearing Troy’s jacket.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled. “But we have to find them.”
We looked around the parking lot, growing more desperate as every second passed. Finally we neared the highway and Gina pointed, “There!”
They stood on the side of the road with their thumbs hitched. Cars drove by but nobody had stopped for them yet.
We started running toward them. I was so afraid a car was going to stop and I’d miss my opportunity. And be stranded at Graffiti’s at the same time.
“Troy!” I shouted when I was close enough. “Troy!”
His thumb dropped and he slowly turned toward us. He shoved both hands into his pockets and stood there while we hurried over to them.
I was winded by the time we reached them, but we’d caught them. That was all I cared about.
His mouth stayed pressed in a frown, but his eyes flashed with hope. “What are you doing here? I thought you were hanging out with Jake tonight.”
“No,” I panted. “Not tonight. Not any night.” He took a step forward. “It’s you I want, Troy. I need you.”
His mouth broke into a huge grin and he threw his arms out just in time to catch me as I launched myself at him. Our lips crashed together in the next second, finally getting that kiss we’d been trying to steal all night.
His mouth was hot against mine, his lips soft and sweet compared to the hardness of his body. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me to him while he kissed me senseless and drove me wild.
I hadn’t kissed that many boys in my life. And when I had, they’d always been compared to Jake. But now, in this moment with Troy, Jake was the last thing on my mind.
Troy Cameron knew how to kiss. By the time he pulled away my lips were swollen and I was thoroughly turned on. Luckily, he kept his hands on my waist or I probably would have tipped over.
He did make me dizzy.
When he kissed me like that, he made me totally dizzy.
Gina and Mikey were making lewd catcalls at us and clapping as loud as anyone had during the show.
“It’s about damn time,” Mikey laughed.
Troy pressed his lips to my temple. “It is about damn time, Carmichael.”
My smile stretched as wide as it ever had. “You should have made up a fake English project months ago.”
He winked at me. “I’m an idiot.”
“No,” I told him sincerely. “I’m the idiot. I was lost in my head the whole semester. I should have seen you sooner.”
He leaned down, catching my mouth in another searing kiss. “You notice me now. That’s all that matters. And we’ll get through all this stuff together. You don’t have to worry anymore, Cass. I’m here for you whenever you need me.”
“Tonight,” I whispered against his cheek. “I need you tonight.”
“Then you can have me.”
My heart swelled and my stomach flipped. I had been waiting for an epic romance all my life, but I’d been waiting on the wrong guy.
Troy Cameron was more than I could have hoped for. He was better and sweeter and hotter than anything I had ever experienced in my life.
And he was loyal.
That night was just the beginning of our love story. It started with a crazy night and a boy that was willing to do anything for me. And it was still like that today.
He got me through that wild night. And then he helped me get through first semester and then my parents’ divorce. He was there for me when I had roommate problems and life problems and I was there to cheer him on during every game and play and event in his life.
He asked me to marry him at his aunt’s diner four years later and there was no other answer for me than yes. Then he’d kissed me until the patrons had begged us to stop.
He still kisses me like that today.
He still steals all my attention and makes me feel like we are the only people in the room. In any room.
Troy Cameron was the beginning and end of my happily ever after. Without him, I would have never survived that night or first semester or any of the curveballs life threw at me after.
I needed him that night.
And I’ve needed him every night since.
“Before the internet…before sext messages, selfies, like buttons, and d**k picks…epic loves and broken hearts played out offline, on mixtapes that became the self-made soundtracks of a generation.
Love in the 80s: A New Adult Mix is a collection of ten contemporary romance, new adult, stand-alone novellas set in the 1980s.
Written by award-winning and bestselling authors, one digital novella will be released on the last Friday of each month January - October in 2016.
The title of each love story will be a hit song from the year that the novella represents.
Love in the 80s: A New Adult Mix was created by UTOPiAcon founder, Janet Wallace, and is co-produced with award-winning book cover designer, Regina Wamba (together they are WaWa Productions).
Join the Love in the 80s Facebook event party for giveaways and surprises all year long!
My name is Tina. I’m a freshman at USC, a good student and friend…
And I’m a victim.
Hot guys make my brain turn to mush. So, the fact that I was arrested then survived a massive earthquake only to be shackled to the fox next to me can all be overlooked, right?
Okay, so I was arrested before I met Luke. A tremor that caused a blackout at the LAPD precinct where we were being held. Although technically, I wasn’t shackled to him, I was handcuffed, but still. Any and all lapses in my usual—totally sane, I might add—judgments, are his fault. Totally.
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A teacher’s pet. Daddy’s girl.
Everyone loves her.
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She always gets what she wants.
Including your man.
When she walks down the hallway in her hot-pink heels and ruffled denim miniskirt, all the boys’ heads turn. And all the girls start whispering.
Man-eater.
There hasn’t been a single guy Kelly hasn’t been able to chew up and spit out.
Until now.
Kelly has finally met her match. He’s been there all along, and he’s the exact opposite of everything you’d expect.
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She passed on a European vacation with her parents, choosing instead to
spend an amazing summer with her boyfriend. But that plan changed when she walked in on him and another woman. Now Izzy’s stuck in a town she’s avoided since high school, and has to face uncomfortable truths about her past—including the best friend that abandoned her during their senior year. The boy that broke her heart.
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Love the music—never the man.
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Hawke Owens never imagined Birds of Prey would surpass the basement of the Duncan High School for Performing Arts, let alone score them a European tour. But success has its price, and for him, it’s being forced to work with the only girl who shattered his heart—Sabrina Caroline. She’s everything that he remembers and more, every memory and fantasy come to life. At first touch, their connection is electric, but it’s also as strong as her determination to follow her number one rule—she doesn’t date rock stars…even though she’s become one.
Loving her again is as natural as holding his guitar, but she’s destroyed him once, and this time the stakes are higher, more public, and the consequences life-altering. Against the backdrop of the birth of MTV, they’ll have to choose between the demands of their label, and the demands of the heart.
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James told me he would protect me forever and I entrusted him with all my deepest, darkest secrets. I was positive that I knew all of his, too…until the end of summer 1985.