whipped his head all around, but saw no one. Could this voice be the source of that horrible stench?
"W... who are you? Where are you? What are you?"
"Only one who is piqued by an insatiable curiosity. A traveler, like yourself. That is all you need to understand. Now, my question?"
"Why can't I see you? What is that horrible stench?"
"Mind you not that! It is not of a worthwhile manner to be discussed at this time. Now please, my question!"
The voice sounded sweet and soothing, but he also felt there was something slightly off about it he couldn't put his finger on. He was incredibly unnerved at the prospect that he was not down here alone, but with something else that he couldn't see and smelled like death. He swallowed, and choked up an answer to the disembodied voice's question:
"I... I've been down in this pit for a very long time. I'm trying to reach the top so I can escape."
"And what is it at the top that attracts you so much, might I ask?"
If he could have seen it, he might have looked at the entity incredulously.
"Freedom! I'm in the middle of a dark pit. I'm exhausted from all this climbing, but I can't rest or I will fall down and die. I want to take a break, but I can't stop until I reach the top. I'm sick of being surrounded by this darkness. I've been down in this pit for a very long time. I want to taste the sunlight again. I haven't even talked to another human being in months. I want to make it to the top so I can be free."
"And you think, it is at the top, that you will find this freedom?"
"How could I not? There is only darkness and despair down here. I'm miserable. If I could just reach the top, I would not have to face this incredible weariness anymore."
"Tell me. How is it you came to be down here in the first place?"
The young man's face turned into a grimace.
"Other people put me down here."
"And these other people, they are at the top, too?"
"I dunno. I guess."
"And you feel that if you make it to the top, you will find freedom, even if they are up there waiting to put you back down again?"
"I have no choice!" the young man said.
"The only other choice is death! When I make it to the top, they will never do it to me again."
"Vengeance?" the voice asked.
"Making it to the top will be vengeance enough!"
"Suppose they cast you down into the pit again?"
"They will never do it again! I only came to be down here because I was weak. I let my guard down. I will never allow myself to be that weak ever again!"
"And so, having now become stronger and wiser, you will be able to find the freedom you seek, up top?"
"I think so."
"You do not seem so sure of yourself."
"I have to! Up top is all there is. If I have to be in this pit forever, I will go insane. Life will not be worth living if this is all there is."
"It is still such a long way to the top, though. And you are looking rather weary. Who's to say you won't make it to the top, crawl out, and simply keel over dead from the fatigue? Or perhaps, you make it near the top, suddenly slip, and everything's all for naught?"
"Again, do I have a choice?" the young man said.
"Well, you DO have a choice." the voice said. "You could just let go. I mean, if you end it all now, you would never have to struggle again. No more pain. No more feeling."
"I am not so hopeless I would do that!"
"Oh, no? You are certain of this?"
"There must be happiness at the top! I cannot give up as long as there is hope."
"Tell me, is there truly any happiness to be found in the world?"
"I was happy when I was a kid."
"Were you, now?"
"I was. I never had anything to worry about when I was a kid. I was free. Life still held beauty. I know this beauty still exists in life. I must find it."
"And when was it that you lost this beauty?"
"I don't wish to talk about that!"
"Talking is good for the soul! And I know a great many things about souls."
"It just doesn't bring back good memories for me!"
"I have the ability to look back through memories. Even take you back to them, if you wish!"
"I have no memories that I wish to be taken back to! The past is the past."
"Those who do not constantly review history are doomed to repeat it. You should revisit the past. Learn what you can. Shall I take us to the past? Let us see if you were truly happy when you were a child."
The young man frowned.
"Do whatever you wish. I have no desire to continue this conversation. I'm going to the top, and that's that."
"I'm just trying to help you make an informed decision, that's all!"
The young man gasped as everything started to get very hazy, and it seemed the pit around him was beginning to slowly fade out. Before he realized it, he was now in a different place in a different time reliving a scene that he would have rather never experienced again.
Things were not going so well for Christian. He really wanted to pursue his acting dream to the fullest, but he also had to eat and pay bills. He was trapped by the necessity of having an actual job while trying to make his dream come true.
He had gone to multiple auditions, but had not received any callbacks yet. He couldn't even make a lot of auditions due to his inflexible job. He was looking for something better, but he also knew that if something didn't come through soon, he would end up having to look for a second job to supplement his income.
He was starting to feel trapped. He sometimes longed for the days when he had been a kid. He had felt much freer then...
(5)
Everything in the vision was a haze. A heavy fog shrouded everything in sight except for the immediate important aspects of the vision, which were clear and completely visible.
Off in the distance, a group of kids were playing a game with each other. There was another kid who was standing some distance away. He had been watching them for quite some time. He desperately wanted to go over and join them, but was too shy. But he saw how happy they were and how much fun they were having, and eventually he gathered up his courage and cautiously walked over.
They didn't really pay him much attention, and continued to play their game, ignoring him. He got right in the middle of them and tried to more forcibly get noticed and take part, but they still continued to ignore him the best they could until finally one of the boys had had enough and started questioning him what he was doing there.
The young boy who had tried to join in stood meekly, saying that they looked like they were having fun and he was just wondering if he could join them. The other kid laughed and asked why they should let him have anything to do with them. One by one, the other kids began to join in, and started jeering at and mocking him.
The boy tried to hold his composure, but it was quite obvious he was humiliated on the inside. After awhile, the kids laughed and walked off, taking their game someplace else.
The boy stood there looking at the ground for awhile, then began tearing up. He sat down on the ground and started sobbing. He didn't understand it. Why did they treat him like that? All he had wanted was to make friends. The vision focused on him crying for a few more minutes before it slowly began to fade out.
Christian was in the bookstore browsing through some acting books. He didn't have that much extra money, but the bookstore had a far better selection than the library and he considered "furthering his education" as a "necessary" budgetary item.
When he turned the corner in the bookstore and nearly ran straight into his childhood ex-best friend, his heart skipped several beats. What ensued was one of the more awkward conversations in Christian's life.
Ever have one of those moments when you run into someone from your past and there is a lot of unresolved tension between you two? Where both of you are trying to be cordial to each other, but there is a whole other unspoken conversation taking p
lace behind the physical one? Where there are so many things that desperately want to be said, but neither of you really want to say them, and you both just wish you could find a good excuse to get the heck away from each other? However, though, under of the guise of being polite, you both stick around for awhile and continue to make each other uncomfortable, anyways?
Indeed, there were a lot of unanswered questions on the tip of Christian's tongue. It also seemed obvious that Ray didn't want to have to answer any of these questions.
'Why did you stop having anything to do with me?'
'Why did you start going completely out of your way to avoid ever seeing me again?'
'What was it I did wrong that turned you so against me?'
'Why did you turn all the others against me?'
'What was it you said about me to everyone that made them hate me so much?'
These are the questions Christian wanted to ask, but didn't. And so, they continued to hang in the air, unanswered. And Christian and Ray continued feigning being polite to each other for awhile until they somehow found their way around to an excuse to get away from each other.
The meeting put Christian in a bad mood for the rest of the day. To a great extent, he still resented Ray. He blamed him for a great deal of the loneliness in his life. If it wasn't for him...
But there was no point in reliving the past. He had decided long ago that the past was not worth giving heed to. There was nothing in the past that held any intrinsic value for his life. There was only the present. And the future.
Still, the meeting continued to linger at the forefront of his mind, and he did find himself thinking about the past, not just about Ray but