“I did! I was so completely happy being your girlfriend.”
“If you were so happy with me, why did you keep me shut out all the time?”
“I didn’t mean to. That’s just the way I am.”
“But you manage to talk to Lexi and Elliott all the time.”
“I grew up with them, it’s different.”
“I was your boyfriend, Julia. If that didn’t make a difference to you, then maybe you just weren’t ready to be in a relationship.”
“The least you could’ve done was let me know when it was over,” Julia murmured under her breath.
“What?”
“You didn’t have to cheat on me,” she said a little louder. “If you wanted to end things, you could’ve just let me know.”
“Honestly, I didn’t think you’d care.”
Julia stared at him in disbelief. “So you thought I’d rather find out by going on a camping trip with my boyfriend and all of his friends, and his new girlfriend.”
“I didn’t make you come along. It was your choice to be there.”
“No, I’m sorry,” Julia said, correcting herself, “Not your new girlfriend, but your girlfriend for six months apparently.”
“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“So you thought it would be better for me to find out being stuck out in the woods, miles away from home, watching you make out with another girl all the while thinking I was still your girlfriend?”
“If you’re still so pissed at me, why were you flirting with me at the Christmas party?”
“I wasn’t flirting!”
“And why did you come on this trip? I know you hate snowboarding.”
“I was trying to prove that I’m over you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’m tired of avoiding you. I don’t want to stay home just because I know you’re going to be somewhere.”
Craig considered this. “Alright, so basically you’re saying we’re going to move on. Don’t let the past affect us, kind of thing.”
“Yes.”
He nodded. “I can live with that.”
“Hey, guys,” Lexi said, entering the room with a large steaming bowl of food. Since arriving back at the cabin, Lexi had been in the kitchen, busily making a large pot of congee with the other girls. Julia took the bowl of the hot rice porridge with chopped green onions, boiled egg, and spicy bamboo shoots, grateful for the interruption.
“Wow, Lexi, I’m impressed,” Craig teased her. “Hot cocoa would’ve sufficed.”
“We have that too. I just have to shave some dark chocolate and cinnamon sticks in them.”
“Show off,” Julia smiled affectionately at her.
Lexi laughed, “Oh and I have nutmeg too!”
Craig followed Lexi back into the kitchen, just as his cousin came strutting up from the basement where the guys had bunked down. He still wet from his shower, smelling strongly of cologne, and headed her way. Julia groaned and quickly scooped up her book and headed upstairs to the loft area where the girls slept.
Julia sighed leaning her head heavily against the window pane.
“We’re almost home,” Lexi whispered to her as they finally headed back down the mountain from Lake Tahoe after the most excruciatingly exhausting couple of days.
Julia suppressed a groan and slid down lower in her seat, trying to stay below Craig’s radar. She had purposefully chosen the last row of his gigantic GMC Yukon and promptly pretended to fall asleep. In the lane next to theirs a Honda Element drove by and she followed it with her eyes.
“That one is black, Lia, not grey,” Elliott mumbled under his breath. She gave him a withering look. But his only reaction was to laugh and look away.
* * *
It wasn’t until the day before returning to college that Julia finally mustered up enough confidence to approach her mother about her parent’s odd behavior. The day after Julia returned from the snowboarding trip, her father apparently forgot he needed to make his nightly appearance at home and Julia was already in bed when he remembered to show up.
She lay in bed listening to her parents argue downstairs.
At least they’re talking, Julia thought bitterly and reached over to pull on her earphones. Turning up the volume to her iPod, she rolled tightly into a ball under her pile of blankets.
“Dad worked late last night,” her mom attempted to continue her charade the next morning over breakfast.
“Is he still upstairs?”
“He left early to go into the office.”
“Oh.”
Julia pushed her bowl of oatmeal away feeling a sudden loss of appetite. Why did her parents insist on treating her like a child? Did they think she was stupid?
“So you didn’t buy dad any new shoes for Christmas,” Julia stated, staring at her mom defiantly. They had unceremoniously opened their gifts on Christmas Eve when Julia had handed her parents their presents, and they returned the gesture.
Her mom looked up perplexed. “No. Did he need some?”
Julia shrugged. “I just noticed he didn’t have any shoes on the rack.”
“Oh.”
Julia watched disdainfully as her mother tried to come up with some reasonable excuse. She saw the moment her mom gave up. And that sinking feeling lodged in her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach.
“We’ve decided to separate for a time.”
“Why?”
“Things weren’t working out between us.”
“And they were before?”
Her mother frowned at her. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means it wasn’t like you guys had the perfect marriage to begin with!”
“So I should never deserve any kind of happiness?” Her mother said in a tight and hushed tone.
“What?”
“You’re right, Julia. Our marriage was never perfect. But we stayed together for you. And now that you’re grown up, I don’t see why your dad and I should continue to pretend that we didn’t make a mistake twenty years ago.”
“But …”
“That’s enough. Your dad will come back tomorrow to drive you to the airport. I’ll call him to let him know he doesn’t need to make an appearance tonight for dinner.”
“But …”
But her mother was finished with their conversation. Without another word, she stood up and walked upstairs, leaving Julia to sit alone at the kitchen counter.
Back on the airplane, the pilot announced their arrival back into San Diego International Airport. Closing her journal, Julia realized there were only two blank pages left. But it didn’t matter. She felt no desire to write down what had happened over vacation. Sliding the book and pen back into her knapsack, Julia reached over to nudge Lexi and Elliott awake.
Chapter Fourteen
Aosta Verde University was eerily empty, most students having yet to return from vacation. Even so, it felt really good to be back on campus. Julia hadn’t expected to miss it so much. Geoff’s Escalade pulled into the cul-de-sac behind The Cove, and Randall climbed out from the passenger seat. With the leadership’s arrival, things started getting organized beginning with carpool rides up to the Winter Retreat campsite.
“Hey, Julia,” Geoff greeted her as he loped around his SUV.
“Hi, Geoff, how was your Christmas vacation?”
“Awesome. Yourself?”
“Um, it was fine.”
“Cool,” he laughed and leaned in for a hug. “It’s good to see you again.”
Julia patted his back lightly and said, “Yeah, same here.”
Geoff left her to make his rounds, boisterously greeting freshmen and seniors alike, when Julia looked up to see the most beautiful sight. A dark grey Honda Element rounded the corner and pulled up behind Geoff’s car, and an uncontainable smile lit up her face.
Nearly three hours later, the sky was pitch black when the same dark grey Honda Element jerked to a stop and slowly pulled over to the s
ide of the mountain road. Lexi, who had fallen asleep before they had even reached the freeway, had barely moved from her huddled position curled up against her pillow, head against the foggy window.
In the passenger seat, Elliott’s tall frame was sprawled out as much as possible in the tight space, seat reclined, head thrown back to occasionally release a throaty snore, arms flung about him. His knees were bent awkwardly and somehow seemed to take up eighty percent of the car. Julia couldn’t help feeling bad for Wynn, once again being stuck with them, especially having Elliott so close to drooling proximity.
Was it by choice that we’re in his car? Julia wondered.
Elliott let out a slight groan the moment a frosty gush of wind blew in as Wynn shoved open his door and stepped out. “Huh? What’s going on?” Elliott mumbled, disoriented, as the door slammed shut.
“He’s fixing the tire chains again,” Julia said from the backseat.
“What change? Like coins?”
“Chains,” Julia enunciated a bit exasperated. “It’s been like the fifth time we’ve pulled over. Can you please go outside to help him?”
“Sure, sure,” Elliott slurred, his eyes closing again. He attempted to roll over but his seatbelt stopped him midway. “Give him all my change. My wallet’s in my bag. Or jacket. Or maybe Lexi has it.” His incoherent words trailed off and ended with a snore.
Julia sighed.
Pulling on her fur hooded parka, she pushed open the door and climbed out. The icy air made her throat hurt to breathe, and she tucked her chin into her wool scarf. Gingerly, she made her way around the car, careful not to slip on the frozen ground.
Wynn was crouched by the rear tire, glove in his mouth, examining the metal rope with his fingers. At the sound of her boots crunching in the snow, he tilted his head. The smile that lit his eyes made her feel better. Except for the music, it had been silent most of the ride up the mountain.
“Need a hand? Are the chains not working properly?”
He stood up and shrugged. “Just not used to driving on ice, I guess.” He continued to watch her, his head bent since her own barely reached his shoulders. His usual smirk was gone, and his eyes softened like she knew they would whenever he let down his guard. There were parts of him that were a mystery to her still. But after the past three months of serving with him, Julia was starting to see behind the tough exterior he put up sometimes when he was around his housemates and friends.
The car suddenly shook and the slight boom of a bass beat shuddered from within. Julia smothered a giggle as Wynn ducked his head see what was going on inside his car. From the darkened windows, they could see someone’s hand flickering the overhead light like a strobe.
“What are they doing?” Wynn muttered, half annoyed, half bemused.
“I love this song!” Lexi laughed the moment Wynn jerked the door open. She sat bright-eyed and cocooned under a pile of jackets and unrolled sleeping bag. Her long rumpled hair spilled around her beaming face. Still barely conscious, Elliott had apparently obediently turned up the volume at Lexi’ request. And was now making use of his wide wing-span arm to toy with the lights, while still in his slumped over sleeping position.
“What’s with the disco effect?” Wynn asked, back in smirk mode.
“Oh, Ellie’s just sending out an SOS signal. We weren’t sure what happened to you guys. One moment we’re asleep, and the next everyone vanished.”
“I thought maybe you guys were raptured, and I got left behind,” Elliott offered, folding his arms over his chest. “Then I noticed this clown was still here,” nodding his head towards Lexi, “and I figured I was still safe to go.”
“So why are we stopped alongside the road?” Lexi asked, twisting in her seat and staring past where Wynn stood by her open door. A pair of headlights appeared and slowed as it passed their car. The window rolled down, and Julia heard someone call out to them.
“Hey, Wynn, everything ok?”
Wynn nodded and waved them along, “All good, we’re coming.” Julia couldn’t figure out who was in the car, it was so dark.
“Ok, a couple of us are making a pit stop up at the next gas station. Bathroom break,” the guy continued. All she could see was a sweater clad arm sticking out of the window.
“Alright, see you there.” Julia watched as the car slowly continued on its way, then made her way back around the car. It wasn’t until she was snapping in her seatbelt that she caught on to the tail-end of Elliott’s dare.
“Who’s racing who?” Julia asked.
“Lexi was talking trash again. And I just mentioned that we could probably get to the gas station first even with Wynn driving like a grandma.” Elliott said smugly.
“Don’t race, guys. Anyways that car is already ahead of us.”
“Not that car,” Elliott said meaningfully, “Lexi.”
Julia gaped at Lexi wide-eyed. “What are you planning on doing? Running?” At the gleeful glint in her eyes, Julia started shaking her head. For once she wished she didn’t know her so well, “Oh, no. Don’t drag me into this!”
“C’mon, Lia! Please, pretty please?”
From the driver’s seat, Wynn turned expectantly and raised an eyebrow. “So what will it be? Get out and run? Or ride with Miss Daisy?”
Lexi shot her a “please, have my back” look and nearly jumped out of the car, only slowing down to untangle herself from the cozy nest wrapped around her waist. “C’mon, Lia!” she shouted before slamming the door shut. Julia looked at Wynn, but he just laughed and shrugged.
“It’s up to you,” he smiled, shaking his head. Beside him, Elliott was pantomiming pulling on imaginary racing goggles and a helmet, all the while mouthing trash talk complete with random hand gestures at Lexi through the window.
“Oh, for goodness’ sake,” Julia mumbled, before unsnapping her seatbelt and pushing open the door for the second time. “Leave your cell phone on in case you need to call for a search party,” she threatened Elliott before slamming the door shut.
The snow was a slushy black streak where Lexi was standing in front of the car head lights, and Julia’s fingers became instantly frozen numb. From behind, she heard the roar of the engine, making her jump. Throwing them a dirty look, Julia saw Wynn and Elliott laugh at her reaction.
“C’mon, Lia,” Lexi called out. “Head start!” and off she darted, disregarding any safety precautions. Julia hurried to catch up as Wynn continued to trail them slowly. The light from his car bounced eerie beams in front of them. When he pulled alongside the girls, Lexi shook her long hair loose from beneath hood of her coat.
“What are you doing?” Lexi shouted at him, not slowing down.
The passenger side window crept down halfway, and a warm puff of air blew against her face. “Hey,” Elliott grinned at her.
But Wynn leaned over him and said, “Quit messing around.”
“What?” Lexi challenged, slowing down her pace enough to switch into a loopy skip.
“Get back in the car,” he said.
“No!” Lexi shouted, pulling her away from the vehicle. This time Julia giggled. It was too insane to take seriously. After a last look, Wynn sighed and drove away. A moment later, his car was out of sight, and all that was left was black against pitch black.
“Hm, maybe we should have thought this through,” Lexi said, and they broke into a fit of hysterical laughter. They broke into a brisk run, puffs of air blowing from their faces into the cold night.
“Lex, you know I love your crazy impulsive side, but seriously you don’t have to rise up to every challenge. Leave some for the others.”
Lexi shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”
“Yeah, but look at us. We’re abandoned in the middle of who knows where. And it’s freezing! Did you seriously think you were going to be able to outrun a car?”
“Well, considering how slow Wynn was driving …”
“I thought you were asleep!”
“Can you blame a girl for trying to give her best frie
nd some alone time with …”
“Lexi!” Julia balked, immediately embarrassed. “Was Ellie in on it too?”
Lexi snorted, “Please, poor boy can’t act if his life depended on it. You know Ellie falls asleep wherever he goes.”
By the time they saw the lights ahead for the Arco gas station, they had each other in stitches. Breaking into a run, they burst into the small convenience store behind the gas pumps, out of breath and giggling.
“Bathroom! Bathroom!” Lexi shrieked. Elliott was up ahead in line, his head cocked to one side, cell phone at his ear. At the same moment Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” sang from Lexi’s cell phone. The happy tune stopped abruptly as Elliott clicked shut his phone. His tall frame turned slowly, eyes lighting up to see the girls had arrived safely.
“Hey, get back in line. I got to go, dude,” Elliott grinned. His black hair was rumpled from being under his wool beanie, and his ski jacket was insulated and puffy, making him look even more like a giant.
“Too bad!” Lexi laughed. As the bathroom door opened, Lexi shoved past Elliott and jumped into the room, locking the door with a click. Elliott pretended to pound on the door. All around them, Julia recognized faces from A.A.C.F. People were filling up paper cups with hot cocoa, stashing up on cabin snacks, and chatting with each other while in line at the cashier or for the restroom.
“Here,” and a steaming cup wafting with the aroma of coffee appeared in front of her. Julia turned around to see Wynn his arm extended bearing the condolence prize.
“Thanks,” Julia smiled, warming her hands on the hot cup.
“So,” he began with a deep sigh. “I guess there was a mix up with the memory card you gave me?” He kept his eyes down, staring intently at the bag of Funyuns chips he held in his hands. When she didn’t respond, he looked up, a strange expression on his face.
“Mix up?” Julia repeated, confused. She tried to think back to the night he had come over to her dorm room, before leaving for winter vacation. “Was the memory card blank? I thought I had saved the script I was working on to it.”
He gave her that same curious look and hesitated. “No… It wasn’t blank.” Something wasn’t right, and she couldn’t seem to pinpoint what it was. Then it started to slowly come to her. Julia had let Lexi read script meant for Leavesly Church on her laptop. But then Lexi had fallen asleep while cleaning out her backpack, and Julia had chosen that time to finish typing up her last journal entry from her senior year in high school. The card she had saved all her journals on had been left in computer. The same card Lexi grabbed and then given to Wynn when he had unexpectedly shown up.