Her hands clenched as if she wanted to defy him, yet she managed to keep still.
“I need to get back to work,” Lily said, standing up and leaving his office.
Shade stared after her contemplatively. If she had felt a spark of attraction for him, it was time to start building on that foundation.
At quitting time, Shade was about to leave the factory, anxious to spend the next hour alone with Lily, when Georgia asked him about her brother getting a job at the factory.
“He really needs the job. He has good work references.” She smiled at him flirtatiously, as if that would help make up his mind. It didn’t.
“I’ve already told you no, Georgia. Rider and Train have, too. We don’t want two family members working in the factory, especially when one is already in a supervisor position. If you want to step down, then maybe…”
“No! No. I love my job.”
Shade knew the woman used her forceful personality to intimidate the other employees. He had already decided to talk to Viper about moving her back to the production line.
He was leaning against the doorway to his office while Georgia talked to him about how much the raise had helped with providing for her children when the door to the factory opened, and Lily came back in with her workout bag. She didn’t interrupt, waiting patiently for their conversation to end.
“Georgia, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He broke into her description of her daughter, leaving her standing to walk toward Lily.
“What has you looking so guilty?” Shade questioned the look he had caught on her face.
“I was thinking that you and Georgia would make a nice couple.”
“Really?” If she had felt a spark of attraction for him earlier, would she be talking up another woman to him?
“That’s when I felt guilty. In case you didn’t know, she’s really not a nice person.”
“I think I can handle Georgia,” he said, walking to the door of the factory and holding it open for her. He could handle three Georgias. Of course, they would all be tied up with their mouths gagged.
“That’s good to know. Then I think you should go for it. She obviously has a thing for you,” Lily said helpfully.
Shade stopped in his tracks. “Lily, have I given you the impression that I want to be your BFF?”
“Noo…”
“Good.”
Lily followed behind Shade’s quick strides.
He was angry with her for throwing another woman at him while he would kill another man over her. When he opened the door to the basement, waiting for her to enter, Lily avoided his eyes as she went inside.
“I’ll go get changed,” Lily said, heading straight to the restroom.
Shade changed into his workout gear and began on the weights while he waited for Lily.
He paused when she entered the room, his eyes going to her new workout outfit. Shade didn’t say anything, but he wanted to ask why she was determined to wear clothes three sizes too large. The black leggings were hanging off her, and the spandex top was also too large with long sleeves.
Shade placed his weights down.
“Come here,” he said, coming to a decision. He was going to find out once and for all if she was ever going to feel attracted to him. If she didn’t, he would be wasting his time.
Lily moved toward him, and he showed her the weights to use then returned to his own workout. He had to stay in shape since he was still called for specialized jobs from the government when targets needed to be eliminated. He had to be ready to leave at a moment’s notice, so his body had to be at its peak performance level to go into the dangerous situations he had been placed within.
Shade spent the next hour with her weight training, making sure the hand which had been broken started with minimal weight.
“Two more, Lily.” She was lying on the bench, lifting weights, when Shade’s hand went to the inside of her thigh. “Keep your legs straight.”
As Shade’s hand guided her leg to where he wanted it, Lily stiffened. Touching her lightly—not enough to frighten her, but to make her aware she was a woman and he was a man—her arms trembled under the weights she was holding.
“Keep your arms steady.” His hand glided up the length of her arm, steadying it. He wanted to surround her with his presence to heighten her femininity.
His hand lay flat on her stomach, well aware of how sensitive she would be there and that the thin material of her shirt wouldn’t provide a barrier against the warmth of his hand.
“Breathe, Lily.”
While Lily took a deep breath then released it, her chest shuddered and her little nipples poked through the material of her bra and workout shirt.
He had his answer.
“That’s enough for today.” Shade straightened, standing above her. He took the weights from her as she hastily got to her feet, her face flushed, eyes wild.
“Two days a week, we’ll work on weight training. The other three, we’ll work on your defense moves.” He brought her back down gently, taking the focus away from a body she didn’t recognize as being aroused.
“That sounds good,” Lily said, not looking at him as she picked up her workout bag. “I appreciate your help, Sir.”
Shade watched her run out the door, letting her leave. He was concerned her reactions might have been more than she could handle.
Shade sighed. There was no going back to the clubhouse, just as there was no going back with Lily.
Chapter 42
“I’m making a liquor run into town. Need me to pick anything up?”
“No, I’m good.” Shade was talking to Train when Lily came out of the backroom where the seeds were kept refrigerated. Gaige had followed her in a few moments before, and Lily’s reaction was one Shade recognized. The bastard had done something to upset her.
She was trying to blank out, like she had the day at the lake and the day the bikers had attacked her and Beth. She had her cell phone to her ear, since whenever she was frightened, she always wanted one person: Beth. Her sister was her security, and she clung to that tightly when she was afraid. Shade wished just once she would turn to him. He was more than capable of protecting her.
Lily went to her workstation.
Even from inside his office, he heard her whimpers. Either Beth was unable to calm her, or she wasn’t answering.
As the front door of the factory opened and Razer walked through, Lily took a step toward him, still whimpering.
“Lily!” Shade moved around Train, coming to the doorway of his office.
Lily had stopped when he said her name, her hands going to her hair.
He was afraid she would tear it out if he didn’t calm her down. “Lily, come here. Now!”
Lily’s feet changed direction, and she moved toward him.
“Go take your chair.” She needed a safe zone; her submissive side was begging for direction.
“I need Beth,” she said between chattering teeth.
“Go take your chair,” Shade repeated, his expression hard. He took her jaw in his hand. “What did I tell you about me repeating instructions?”
“Shade?” Razer wanted to help Lily, but the way he and Beth were handling Lily’s problems wasn’t working.
She had to learn to build herself up to where she was strong enough to calm herself. Razer had to learn Shade wasn’t going to put up with any interference with what he thought was best for Lily, and it was just as good a time as any.
“I will handle this, Razer.” He maintained eye contact with Lily, giving her the strength she didn’t have for herself.
Seeing Lily’s whimpers had stopped, Razer backed off.
Shade’s hand dropped from her face before giving Train a quick look. Train had also seen Gaige go into the back room.
“I’ll take care of it,” Train acknowledged his silent order.
Shade came inside the office and shut the door.
“Go stand in the corner, Lily.” When she didn’t move right away, he snapped, “Now.?
?? The more authority he used, the more she responded.
Lily was a natural submissive. Her abuse as a child by a figure of authority had fucked her up, though. He had to teach her that, if she followed his instructions, he would give her the care and affection she craved without harming her.
Lily immediately went to the corner where she stood, facing the office while Shade took his seat back at the desk and resumed doing his paperwork as if she wasn’t there, giving her traumatized mind time to recover.
He heard her take a deep, shuddering breath then saw her lean her head on the wall. Shade wanted to hold her close and soothe her, but he made himself wait; she needed him to have the control she didn’t.
“Stand up straight.” Shade didn’t take his eyes off his paperwork, pushing a few buttons on his computer before making more notes.
Lily straightened, her hand going to her wrist.
“No.” That time, he looked up, daring her to snap the rubber band.
Her hand reluctantly fell to her side. Then her breathing gradually slowed, and her pale face returned to a rosy glow.
“Come here, Lily.” She came to his side as he pushed his chair back from his desk. Reaching out, he grasped her hand, jerking her down to sit on his thigh.
Lily started to go wild.
“Sit still,” Shade ordered, and she instantly followed his directions. He wanted her to see she would be rewarded.
Shade didn’t attempt to touch her further, his hand going back to the computer screen, moving the cursor to begin going through the emails.
“The Farthings ordered three more cases of MREs. I think they’re planning for World War III.” He went down the emails, checking them off one by one. Sometimes he would make a remark, and sometimes he wouldn’t.
“So, what happened to get you upset?” Shade finally asked as he scrolled down the list for the next email.
“When I was in the back room, Gaige came in. I was bent over the refrigerator, and he slid his hand underneath my dress.”
“I would be upset if he tried to touch my ass, too,” Shade remarked, still working and not looking at her.
Lily laughed.
“Did he try to stop you from leaving the room?” Shade probed gently, not wanting to upset her again.
“No. I probably overreacted. I know how silly I sound.”
“You didn’t overreact. He had no business touching you,” Shade said, his hand going to her hip, adjusting her so she sat more comfortably on his leg. Subliminally, he was giving her the message that he was the only one allowed to touch.
Several more minutes passed with him holding her, showing her he would release her when he was ready.
“Are you all right now?”
“Yes. Thanks, Shade.”
After Lily opened the door, going back to work, Shade looked at the clock on the wall, seeing it was almost quitting time before he went to the work board to double-check that all the orders had been filled.
“Are you okay?” Bliss asked. She and Jewell had stopped by Lily’s work station as they left.
“I’m fine. I just overreacted.”
“Do you need anything before we leave?” Bliss offered.
Lily looked embarrassed before asking, “Would you mind getting me a number four green bean pack from the refrigerator?”
“No problem,” Bliss said, turning to go to the back room to get the item.
“I’ll handle it, Bliss. You two go on up to the club.” Shade walked up to them, and the two women left after giving Lily a sympathetic glance.
“Go get the seeds. I’ll wait here,” Shade told her, understanding she had to face her fear while knowing he would be near.
She didn’t argue with him and went to the room, and she was back in less than a minute.
Shade watched as she completed her order while the rest of the workers left for the day. When Lily had finished and cleaned her workstation in preparation for Monday, he dashed her hopes of going immediately home.
“Go get your bag while I lock up,” Shade ordered.
“But I thought—”
Shade tilted his head to the side in question.
“I’ll go get my bag.”
Grabbing her shoulder bag, she followed Shade to the basement and went to get changed. Shade changed and was warming up on the mat when she returned.
She sank to the mat to begin stretching while Shade watched her for a few minutes before standing up and turning on the music. It was Friday, and the party upstairs would be getting started; the music would muffle any sounds.
Shade moved her into position to begin her defense training. Then he worked on her kick for several minutes, becoming irritated when she didn’t connect with him. She was trying not to touch him.
Lily became distracted as the noise upstairs increased. The music he had put on wasn’t able to entirely hide that the party had started. Her eyes went repeatedly to the stairway.
“Pay attention, Lily. If you used more strength, we would have been done ten minutes ago, and I would be upstairs drinking a cold beer,” Shade said, deciding to see how she felt about him going upstairs after she left.
She managed to kick him on the side of his thigh.
“About fucking time.” Shade smiled at her proudly, realizing she didn’t like the thought of him going upstairs.
“Did I hurt you?”
“No, Lily, you didn’t hurt me. Next time a dick like Gaige tries to touch your ass again, try that move.”
Lily grinned back. “Okay.”
“We’re done for the day.”
“Thanks, Sir.”
Going for her bag, she picked it up before she hesitated a moment, twisting the handle of the bag in her hand. “Thanks for getting me to go get the seeds. I would have just avoided the room.”
“I know. Lily, let’s work on getting rid of the old fears before adding new ones. You’re completely safe at the factory and here.”
“I know that.”
“Good. I’ll see you Sunday.” He waited to see if she would say whether she would be going to the diner after church.
“All right.”
Shade smiled as he walked her to her car. She was walking with an added confidence she hadn’t had before. The lessons were boosting her belief that she would be able to defend herself. She would, too; he would see to it. He would teach her how to defend herself against everyone except himself.
* * *
Shade carried two pizzas and a six-pack up the walkway to Lily’s front door, pausing when he heard music coming from inside. Gazing around the neighborhood, he saw that most of the houses were dark before he stepped to the window and looked through to see Lily dancing around the living room.
He smiled at seeing her enjoyment and the sexy way she rolled her hips. Her sensual movements had his cock rising behind his jeans. Thank fuck she went into the kitchen at that moment.
When Shade went to her front door and rang the bell, Lily answered the door seconds later, wearing dark-blue fleece pajamas. He was going to have to have a talk with her about the fucking peephole.
“Move, Lily, before I drop the pizzas.”
Unlocking the door, Lily took a step back, letting him enter.
Shade came in, setting the pizzas and beer on the coffee table.
“What are you doing here?” Lily asked, closing the door before walking barefoot back to the couch.
“I thought you might be hungry.” Lily’s stomach grumbled. “Go grab us a couple of plates.”
She did as Shade told her then sat down on the couch as Shade opened the box, putting two slices on her plate. She immediately took a bite of the warm pizza.
Shade put two slices on his own plate and began devouring his. They ate quietly as Lily put a movie on for them to watch.
When he opened a beer, he felt her stiffen next to him, and the hand holding her pizza trembled as she lifted it to her mouth. Shade began to talk about the movie she had put on and the two others in the series. Eventually, she relaxed
back into the cushions after taking another slice of pizza. He thought she must have worked up an appetite with the dancing.
Shade opened himself another beer as he took another piece of pizza, seeing Lily crowd herself closer to the side of the couch, pinning her gaze on the television.
Her mother had used alcohol against her like a weapon, yet Shade wanted her to realize she could be around it and nothing would happen. The brothers were constantly drinking at the clubhouse, and he had every intention of her being there more often, so that was one fear she needed to overcome.
When he finished, he cleaned the table and put the beer in the fridge before relaxing back on the couch. The movie ended, and they argued about what to watch next.
Lily was through half of the second movie when she dozed off, her head on the side of the couch. Shade lifted her, laying her next to him. He kept his touch impersonal while, at the same time, wanting to hold her close as she drifted toward a deeper sleep.
“Go back to sleep,” he said with her stirring movements.
As her taut body relaxed against his with her bottom against his thighs, Shade held his breath, expecting her to wake up fully. He made sure to keep some distance, giving her personal space so he didn’t overwhelm her. He was giving her the illusion of safety while the wolf held her in his arms.
Her back fell against his chest as she sank into an exhausted sleep, the shadows under her eyes all the evidence he needed to know she hadn’t been sleeping well. His arm circled her waist as he pressed her closer.
He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept deeply. For the past three years, he would go to bed tired and aching for Lily, and then he would wake up tired and aching for her.
* * *
The couple sleeping on the couch didn’t move when the key opened the front door. Beth and Razer came to a stop in the doorway with the early morning sun just coming up behind them. The Last Riders were going to the diner for breakfast and they had stopped by, thinking Shade would be awake and might want to go with them; instead, they found them sleeping.
Razer silently closed the door, expecting Shade to wake. They took a step closer to the couch to see Shade was holding Lily clutched to him as if she was a precious treasure. His usually fierce expression was softened in sleep, and his face was turned toward Lily. She was lying, facing Shade, with her head on his shoulder, her hands on his chest, and her leg thrown over his.