CHAPTER FOUR

  Violet takes me to one three bedroom suite while Victor takes my brothers to another. My suite’s on the top floor of the six story building and needs a special key card for entry.

  “Despite the Reallocation, we’re at capacity. So, I’m putting you in with my children on our personal floor. You’ll like my kids. They’re around your age. Will that be okay?” She asks hopefully. “You’ll have your own bedroom and bath, of course.” I’ve never had my own room, or bathroom. Even before my dad left, I shared a room with my brothers in our two bed, one bath apartment. I’m not sure whether I welcome or fear being alone.

  “I’m very thankful that you’re making space for us at all,” I answer.

  “We’re happy to have you, dear. Welcome to the SCI family,” she says with a warm smile as she leans in and pats me on my arm. I look at her scarf up close and it is indeed dotted with SCI logos. Way to be dedicated to the cause.

  Violet’s kids aren’t in the suite, so she shows me around. It’s just like the ones I saw on the tour, including being fully stocked. Violet goes over “house rules,” to which there are many, though nothing that seems that unreasonable. Curfew. Don’t take electronics off site without permission. No drugs (weekly tests administered). Be on time for your job. If you’re under twenty-one, you’ve got to do three hours a day of online classes.

  “We got your measurements from the clinic, so the clothes should all be the right size,” she informs me. “I’ll leave you to get situated.” She hands me a key card that’ll allow me to get to the floor and into our suite. I’m impressed that she never once tells me I should “shower,” or “get cleaned up.” I guess she’s used to being around people in my situation. But the simple kindness she shows still surprises me.

  After she’s gone I head to my room. I don’t dare touch anything until I’m clean, even though I’d love to climb on top of that fluffy, gold comforter and sleep for a couple days so my wounds can heal. First things first. I head straight into the bathroom. I’m quick to peel off my filthy clothes and climb in the shower. Despite how glorious it feels to have the warm water wash over me, I don’t want to be wasteful. So I scrub the grime from my body, wash my hair, and shave the forest from my legs with the coconut-scented products that’ve been provided. It’s evening, so I don’t bother to put on any makeup, choosing to rub lotion over my dry skin instead. The bruises around my neck look terrible, but no makeup in the world could hide them.

  Once back in my room, I go through the drawers to look for clothes. I think I’ll throw on a white tank top and shorts. I’ll wait to be Femlified until tomorrow. My stomach’s still growling after only one meal. I decide to hunt for snacks in the kitchen, and hopefully meet my roommates.

  The kitchen’s full of food. I grab a banana and an energy bar. There’s enough to make myself a feast, but I don’t want to be greedy, nor do I know how long the food’s supposed to last us. The front door opens and in come Violet’s kids. Girl child Black steps forward first. She looks like a blonde-haired clone of her mother. Same green eyes.

  “Jenny,” she says. She shakes my hand as if I’ll pass along a disease. “My mom’s told us all about you. Welcome to the CSC.” Her voice is sickly sweet, but she’s frowning. I can tell she’s less than thrilled to have me here. She scoots off to her room to scrub off my germs or whatever and slams the door. Alrighty then. I guess she won’t be my new BFF.

  “Wow.” The boy looks me up and down like I’m a shiny new toy that he can’t wait to get his hands on. He’s dressed in standard attire. It takes me a minute to recognize him. The clear blue eyes give him away. Clean as a hospital room, and no longer “homeless,” the crazy singer stands before me. I was right, clean him up and he looks like a freaking model. “I’m Joshua, but my friends call me JB,” he says with a wink. What kind of game is he playing? Why would he pretend to be homeless when he’s Violet and Victor Black’s son?

  “You don’t say,” I respond with a grimace. I don’t like to be played. “Well then, I’ll call you Joshua. It’s remarkable how much you look like someone else I met today.” He shakes his head and gestures zipping his lips shut. Then he points to his ear, as if to tell me that we’re being listened to.

  “I’d surely never forget meeting you,” he says. He walks into the living room and turns on some music. I follow him.

  “Or perhaps I look different when I’m clean. It’s funny what a shower and some fresh clothes’ll do to a person’s appearance.”

  “Indeed,” he states loudly. He turns the music up a notch. Then he steps forward, putting his hands gently on my shoulders and leans in, causing my heart to race. His lips brush against my ear. “I’ll expect your complete discretion about my extracurricular activities. I have my reasons, which we won’t be discussing here with them listening. OK?” Before he pulls away, he whispers, “I thought you were beautiful before the shower, but after...stunning.”

  He steps back and stares at me with those gorgeous eyes. I’d say that I’m feeling butterflies in my tummy but I’m thinking they’re fireflies—some terrifying combination of excitement and a fear of being burned. A wide smile breaks across his face and then he speaks in a normal voice. “Make yourself at home. Everything here is yours for the taking.” He winks at me and heads towards his room humming.

  I settle into a routine at the CSC quickly. Violet kindly gives me a job in the clinic office, so that I can spend breaks with my mom. They have her under heavy sedation, but I take my tablet and read my assignments to her aloud, hoping she can hear my voice and know she hasn’t been abandoned.

  My brothers were assigned the security night shift so they come by the clinic every afternoon and I spend my break with them in Mom’s room. Half an hour a day with them’s not nearly enough. I really miss them. But they’re loving their jobs for the first time ever and it’s awesome to see them so happy.

  The clinic work’s boring, but fills the time. I scan the medical history forms for the patients and enter information from the medical charts into the computer. Every single patient gets a blood test to screen for issues and shots. I have no idea what all the terms mean. WBC, RBC, DNT...there’s so many of them. The system automatically flags things that are out of range, and alerts the doctors.

  Maybe my mind’s playing tricks on me, but it seems like every patient that gets flagged with a high DNT level ends up getting a spot at the CSC. I ask Joshua about it, but he shuts me up. Could be it’s some issue that the doctors have to keep an eye on, like they’re doing with my brothers and me. Thankfully, none of us have shown any symptoms of Mom’s bug. Regardless, the SCI’s keeping us on at the CSC while they treat her. I’ve gotten used to sleeping in a real bed, so it’ll be tough when they send us on our way.

  There’s one patient in a private room at the clinic. Some VIP who is getting long-term treatment here. Strange that they’d pick this place if they could afford something better. None of my business, but I’m curious nonetheless. The only exciting things in the clinic seem to happen in that room.

  Lunches I take in the assembly hall. The SCI buses typically bring people for lunch and for dinner, so I eat with Adam during his break between shifts. He’s there every day waiting, boxed lunch in hand. And he always gives me his cookie. Today he’s got two extra cookies. Our friendship’s all about the baked goods—at least on my side.

  Adam dangles the round mounds of chocolatey goodness in front of me. He cracks a wide grin. “I made friends with the kitchen staff.”

  I grab them from him. They’re still warm. This may be one of the best moments of my life. I bring them to my nose and inhale deeply. Lunch can wait. “You’re a lifesaver, Adam. I need a major sugar fix right now.”

  “I thought you might. You were seriously dragging yesterday.” I don’t mention that I’d been up late the night before listening to Joshua make up tunes about the “dangers of office work.” His lyrics were so over the top hilarious that I’ve still got a cramp in my side from laughing. Adam continues
, “And besides, you’re going to want to hear about my awesome morning.”

  Adam has an awesome morning every day because he’s doing the Lord’s...I mean the SCI’s work out in the field. I keep myself from rolling my eyes and stuff a bite of cookie in my mouth. After all, he’s my only friend. No one else has stepped up. Joshua’s…well…he makes me too nervous to call a friend. And Jenny hates me. So I vow to do a better job listening to Adam’s stories. He tells me, “We were back in that same neighborhood we found you in and happened upon a bunch of teenagers who were squatting in a condemned house. They’re all foster kids who were with an abusive bastard and his wife and ran.”

  I wipe some crumbs from my mouth. “Is the SCI going to let them stay?”

  Adam’s so excited that he may well launch right off his seat. “I texted my supervisor and he had me bring them right in to go through screening and get a meal. They looked like they hadn’t had a meal in days. Have I told you how much I love my job? The SCI’s absolutely amazing. It just blows my mind how many people they help.” He keeps going but I tune him out. Not intentionally, but I’m focused on my second cookie which tastes like it must’ve been baked in Heaven. The SCI baker—he’s who blows my mind. Adam can be a walking, talking SCI advertisement all he wants as long as he keeps delivering these tasty treats.

  Adam’s staring right at me as I lick the last bit of chocolate from my lips. He asks, “Are you listening to anything I say?”

  I smile without showing my teeth, in case I’ve got cookie bits stuck in them. “Of course I am. You love your job because you get to save people and the SCI’s awesome. They’re going to save the world.”

  He shakes his head at me and smirks. “You and your cookies.”

  “I could live on these cookies,” I say with a straight face.

  Adam chuckles. “I could live on watching you eat these cookies. But, I have to get back to the bus. Same time tomorrow?” I nod and he reaches over to give me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. He’s big on hugging. Which reminds me of another one of Joshua’s songs: “A hug a day keeps evil thoughts at bay.”

  I think about how different Adam and Joshua are. Adam’s looking out for me and my chocolate obsession, which is super sweet. But beyond that I don’t feel much, probably because all he ever talks about is the SCI.

  Joshua does more singing than talking. When he looks at me with those clear-blue eyes though? I admit it. I melt. The fireflies perform an electrifying air show in my tummy. But I don’t trust him. There’s something weird about him posing as a homeless person and muttering conspiracy theories one moment, and then shutting me up with claims of Big Brother listening in the next. I’ve got to wonder if he’s got a couple of screws missing. Despite this, I can’t seem to stay away from him either. My brain’s telling me to stay away, but my body’s telling me to cuddle up.

  I chat with my mom’s doctor after my clinic shift, asking when she might wake up. “We just don’t know. The high fever caused a lot of damage and there are no guarantees she will wake up. The longer we keep her under, the more time she has to heal, though.”

  She has to come to. I stumble out of the doctor’s office, broken hearted. A girl’s not supposed to lose her mom before she’s ready to be a mom of her own. The more I think about it the more the tears build until they’re blinding me. By the time I reach our suite I’m ready to drown my grief in my pillow.

  I wait to enter until I have my sobs under control. Then I take a deep breath and open the door, tears still streaming down my face. I quickly turn my face and wipe away the evidence of my breakdown when I see that Joshua’s got company. They both stand to greet me.

  Joshua speaks up first. “Oh, hey Lexie. This is Jax Christo. He’s a friend from...back home.” I wave to Jax, wondering if he and Joshua belong to some model’s guild. Jax’s decked out in a shimmering white button down top, white trousers and loafers. He’s a pretty boy through and through. Definitely not for me, though. Jax shakes my hand.

  Jax mumbles under his breath something that sounds like, “Indeed not,” before saying loud and clear, “Nice to meet you, Alexa. I won’t intrude for long. JB and I have some business to discuss.”

  “You just popped in, and you’re already planning your departure?” Joshua asks Jax. “What’s so important that you have to get back right away?”

  “I have a pretty lady waiting on me,” Jax responds with a smirk. “Bodyguard gig.”

  “You, a bodyguard?” Joshua laughs heartily. “Demotion?”

  “Hardly. I’d say this girl’s about the most popular person on the planet. Unfortunately, she’s going through a rough spell. Actually, that’s an understatement. I’d say it’s more of a complete mental breakdown. But, I’m hopeful she’ll pull out of it soon.” Hmmm... Celebrity bodyguard? That’d be a weird job. There’s an awkward silence, and I can tell I’m in the way of whatever they’ve got going.

  “I’ll leave the two of you to your business discussion. I’m wiped.” I excuse myself, go into my room and close the door, but I can still hear them talking through the thin walls. I press my ear to the door.

  “Just because you’ve got a crush on her, doesn’t mean that you can or should drag her into any of this,” I hear Jax say. Is he talking about me? Not likely. That’s just wishful thinking. Joshua’d flirted with me that first day, but since then...nothing.

  “So I should just let my parents use her like they do everyone else? They’re already lording her mother’s health care over her head. Besides, she’s got enough DNT in her system that you and I both know they have plans for her. She may be able to help our cause. I could use the help.” Now they’ve really caught my interest.

  “What about the brothers?” Jax asks.

  “They’ll be up for Reallocation soon. Security track,” Joshua answers. It takes everything to keep from barging back into the room, but I know they’ll stop talking if I do. My brothers are being reallocated? Security track? What does that mean? They’ll be guards at one of the other facilities or something? They’re going to leave me. My mom may leave me. I’ll be all alone. I sink to the floor, but keep my ear pressed to the door.

  “Well, JB. If you want her on board, you’re going to have to show her. Telling’s just not going to get it done. She’ll just think you’re a nut job. Which you are to be taking this on, by the way,” Jax states. “Anyway, I really do have to be going.”

  “Sounds like you have a crush on your assignment, Jax.”

  “She’s...important to me. But, her heart’s elsewhere.”

  They lower their voices, and I’m unable to make out anything other than a couple of names, including “Blake” and “Ethan.” “Hey, what’s up with Ethan these days? Isn’t he finishing up law school or something?” Joshua asks. Jax mumbles something, to which Joshua responds, “What? It’s not like we’re close. I see him at the occasional fundraiser for Uncle Henry, but that’s about it. So, I’m not quite caught up on the latest and greatest with him.”

  “Well, you should get caught up. A whole lot’s happened on Thera since you left. Some seriously crazy stuff,” Jax tells him. Where’s Thera? Is it some town they both grew up in together?

  “Why don’t you catch me up then?” Joshua sounds annoyed that he’s out of the hometown gossip loop.

  “One, because you need to make peace with Ethan. And two, I have to dash. I’m afraid I’m leaving you to do damage control,” Jax says with a chuckle.

  I’ve had it. They both have some explaining to do. About the SCI. About whatever this DNT thing is. About the SCI’s plans for me and my brothers. And about whatever harebrained scheme Joshua has going that he could use my help with. I stand up and storm out of my room. I’m surprised to see Jax gone, given he just spoke mere seconds ago and I didn’t hear the front door close. Joshua’s already got some music blaring.

  “You. Explain. Now.” I jab Joshua in the chest. He puts his hand over my mouth and whispers in my ear. “While I could talk freely with Jax here, I no
longer can with him gone. So, you, my pretty friend, will have to exercise patience. After the next Reallocation, if you want, I’ll show you. But honestly, you’re going to wish you never asked.”

  “All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.”

  —Anatole France