“Thank you.” He kissed my cheek, and his smile fell. “Why do you have those circles under your eyes? Are you sick? We don’t get sick here. Is something wrong? I’ll go get Gabriel. He can check.”
I grabbed his shirt, yanking him back down on the bed. “I cried myself to sleep. I’m puffy.”
His eyes widened. “You are never, ever to do that again.”
He did love to give orders.
The light in me scorched. I didn’t have much time left. I looked at my watch. Any second now, Levi would be coming. I looked up; walking at a good gait, Levi appeared as though I’d summoned him with the thought. I shook my head. Ridiculous fancy got me nowhere. I’d told him where to come, where I’d be, and when to arrive. He was always on time.
He stood in front of me before he knelt. “There is heat coming off your body. I can feel it without even touching you. Are you okay?”
“I’m drifting. It’s hard to explain. Get me to Malcolm. Can you do that?”
He put his hand underneath me and picked me up as though I weighed nothing. “I can. Is this okay for you? Are you going to roast your organs?”
“I hope not.”
My brain tilted sideways. Another memory was on me.
Chapter Seventeen
I knew my ex-husband carried me to his car. His face moved in and out of my vision. The light in my body had to be held onto until I could reach Malcolm to help him in his battle, which was to start in an hour. We’d get there. He’d grab the light from me, defeat Top Hat, and we’d all be done with this scary stuff. The battle wouldn’t be ours to face.
Levi set me in the car and buckled my seatbelt. Wow. I was so hot. My muscles shook from the exertion of holding the light inside of me. I wasn’t strong enough for this, and yet I had no choice except to make it to Malcolm. Otherwise this was all for naught.
Levi’s features swam until I found myself sitting not in his car but across from him at a table in a coffee shop many years ago.
College was hard. There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I stared at the page in front of me, sipping the coffee I’d bought for a dollar ninety-nine, using the last of my expendable money for the day. “Caffeine or food” was often a choice I made, particularly since I had to pay for a tutor to help me through what should have been the easiest math class in school. Of course the easiest math class, made for English majors like myself in a school that catered to engineers and scientists, was still pretty damned hard.
I stared at the page like it was a foreign language.
“Oh, that one’s easy.” A guy I’d never seen before with blondish hair and bright, happy eyes sat across from me. I took a deep breath. Men sometimes did this to me. I wasn’t the prettiest girl on campus or even the best-looking in the coffee shop. My roommate, a peculiar girl—although who was I to critique—told me it was because I gave out a leave-me-alone vibe, which in turn made the male sex sit and pay attention. I didn’t mean to be off-putting. I did want to meet people. But between classes, my daytime job at the coffee shop, and my nighttime one waitressing, I didn’t have time for guys who came over and made me feel stupid.
Also, for whatever reason, I felt kind of taken, even though I’d never been that I could remember
“I’m glad you think it’s easy.” I took a deep breath. “I’m obviously stupid because I don’t think it is, right? That’s why you thought you had to come over here to tell me it was easy. Because I’m stupid.” He widened his eyes. “As it is, I know a lot of stuff you might not know. Ab incunabulis, my father taught me to translate Latin. Can you?”
The man had the gall to grin at me. “I’m Levi, and you’re a trip, aren’t you?”
“A trip? No, I don’t think so.”
He leaned forward. “Do you have a name?”
I don’t know why I told him my name. I really didn’t like anything about him so far. Except for his eyes. They were so happy. I saw so few truly joyful people, and for some reason he gave me the impression he really was. “I’m Kendall.”
He extended his hand to shake mine. When I didn’t take his, he laughed aloud. “Well, Kendall. I’ve been watching you from that table for weeks. I study here for two hours every afternoon. You’re really distracting, and you don’t seem to notice me at all. I thought to impress you, and I pissed you off. I know you have to go back to work. Can we try again? I’d like to take you to dinner.”
“Why? I was really rude to you. Is there something wrong with you? Do you like rude women?”
His lips twitched. “Not usually.”
“I …” I took a deep breath. “I have a lot of classwork, homework, and two jobs.”
“What time do you get off tonight?” He was really not going to let this go.
“Ten. I work at the diner over there.”
He stood. “I’ll be there when you get off. I have a feeling about you, Ms. Kendall. We’re going to be very important to one another. You’re going to love me, and I’m going to worship you.”
No one had ever spoken to me like that. At least not that I could remember. My cheeks heated, and I was sure I was pink. I had to admit, for as cocky as he seemed, Levi went after what he wanted. And he was really cute.
“Kendall.” My ex caught my attention back to the now. “We’ve hit traffic. This is going to take a lot longer than it should.”
I groaned. I had to hold on. “Just do the best you can. Thanks for everything. Thanks for this,” I rambled. “It means a lot.”
He grimaced, looking at me side-eyed. “I am not going to tell our kids you died in my car from an overabundance of light. So you’re going to not die, hear me? I may not be your guy anymore. I’m still your friend. We had babies together. We’re going to be grandparents someday, together. You’re my family. Don’t die.”
Austin traffic was always horrific. Today it seemed so much worse. Or maybe it was simply that I was burning from the inside out.
We finally arrived at the house. I could see my friends’ cars lined up and down the street. Victoria was probably trying to reach me. I hadn’t looked at my phone since I’d texted Chase. “What time is it?”
“If they started on time, and I don’t know how punctual shadows are, they’re half an hour in.”
I cried out both from pain and the horror Malcolm had gone into battle without me there to support him. He had to be okay. The cars were still on the street. If he’d died, they’d have all run for their lives. Unless they were all dead.
Getting the car door open proved hard. “Thanks. I’ve got to get inside.”
“Yeah. That’s not going to be so easy for you. I’ll get you in there.”
I held onto the front of the car. “No, too dangerous for you.”
“Yeah, I think I’m safer than you right now.” He scooped me up, despite my protest, and carried me inside the house. I could hear noises upstairs, bangs and shouts. Otherwise I was pretty unsure of what was going on. “Besides, I have to see how my cage is holding up.”
Levi was still talking? He took the steps two at a time, which jostled the hell out of my too-hot body. The light wanted out. We finally got into the room. Levi pushed open the door in time for me to see Malcolm jump back, missing a wave from Top Hat.
The shadows in the room danced. Some of them had human form, others didn’t. Top Hat wore a human suit, a female one. I didn’t know the woman, but if Top Hat had picked her, she must be someone worth taking the body from. No more bodies. We couldn’t allow it.
Victoria rushed to my side. “What the hell? Oh my god, she’s burning up. What—”
I grabbed her arm. “I’ve got light inside of me. So much more than Malcolm could get in here.”
“Kendall?” Malcolm must have spotted me. He ducked and pivoted.
I held out my hand. It was now or never. Sweat dripped down my face. “Malcolm. I brought you light. Take it. Take it, please.”
His jaw set tighter. I knew determination on Malcolm. He pointed at me. And with a yank at the energy around me,
he pulled the light from my body.
Heat exploded, and a blinding white light, the same as the one Rafael had used, took over the room. Top Hat shouted in what I could only call agony. Whether I was supposed to have the job or not, I’d done it.
Then nothing.
***
“Kendall.” Levi shook my chin. “Wake up. She’s freezing. One second she was all heat, the next—”
“I know.” Victoria snapped at my ex. “She’s—”
“Move, damn it.” Malcolm was next to me, and then I was in his arms. I really don’t know what happened after that. I floated somewhere in space and time.
Michael was suddenly there in front of me. Not a face I wanted to see, but I’d take anything over the vast nothingness of sensory input around me. “Good work, lightbringer.”
“I guess I actually did it. I brought the light.”
He smiled, a strange pull on Michael’s face. “You took the job literally. We did not find it statistically likely you’d perform this action. We’re glad you did.”
“‘Not statistically probable’ because I wasn’t meant to be lightbringer?”
Michael rolled his eyes. “Of course you were. Why do you keep saying that?”
“Chelsea.”
“She was not to be. It was always you.”
Wait … what? “We always thought it would be her.”
“You were always wrong.”
“Michael.” If I had feet on the ground, I would tap them. “Why did you let me think otherwise?”
He was silent for a moment. “Angst is good for you. I’ve found you respond better when you think you’re not going to do a good job, when your back is to the wall. That is when you come through. You need to feel things deeply.”
I listened to his words as they moved through my tired brain. Bells might as well have exploded around me. “Michael, when you told me I had to lose my memory, that I had to forget Malcolm for his own good—did you do that for him or for me?”
Gabriel appeared out of nowhere. “Tell her.”
Michael didn’t turn to his cohort, instead keeping his gaze on me. “I was going to. Malcolm always does a good job. He’s not capable of not. We didn’t know which one of you would be the born leader. He was, almost instantly. You all listened to him, and he listened to you. Loved you. We knew you’d be close. How could you not be? You’d died together. We didn’t know you would love as strongly as you did. You would have faded into him. Instead, you are strong. You are capable. You are a mother. You care more deeply about what happens to those around you—not necessarily because of the children, but they didn’t hurt. They’re not statistics to you. They’re children and parents and women and men. Yes, I took your memory so you wouldn’t be Malcolm’s sidekick, you’d be the lightbringer.”
I gasped, coming into my body inside of a bathtub. I was completely naked with both Victoria and Malcolm pouring bath salts into the water. My teeth chattered. I could see the steam coming off the water, and yet I wasn’t warm.
“Cold,” I managed to get out.
Victoria raised an eyebrow. “I bet you are. Let the water warm you. I threw in the salts for purification, and I’ve said some magic over you. A few minutes and you’ll feel better.” She nodded at Malcolm and left the room, calling over her shoulder. “That was pretty badass, Kendall.”
I reached my shaking hand for Malcolm. “Good work shattering him.”
“He jumped from the body. I didn’t shatter him. It was close though. The most power I’ve ever felt. I couldn’t have done that at all without your huge assist.”
I shrugged. The water was starting to warm. Or maybe I was. Whatever, it worked. “I’m the lightbringer.”
He kneeled next to the bath. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Malcolm’s mouth met mine. The sweet boy who hadn’t known if he could resist touching me still lived inside of him. His kisses always started gently; he never rushed in.
“I had a bunch of theories about what you were doing that you were going to lie about if I pressed. That was never it. How long did you keep it inside?”
As the heat seeped into me, my body felt languid. “All day.”
“You’re so strong.” He kissed both my cheeks. “Thank you. Next time, you tell me. I’m not going to be a guy who gets in your way. If that’s what I’ve been doing, it’ll stop. I’ve got to battle. I need you. Okay? Don’t go do this alone. You’ve got to sit and take in so much light it almost kills you? Okay. I’ll hold your hand. I get how this works. There were twelve of us. We all contributed. The ones here, they still do, big time.”
I ran my wet hand down his beloved cheek. “I-I’m sorry. I thought you would try to stop me.”
“I want to be your partner. Not your jailor.”
I kissed him, straight on the mouth. He smiled against my embrace. “Love you.”
“There’s something else. I saw Michael while I was out of it. He said the memory erase was about making me stronger, not you. That it was all bullshit meant to manipulate me.”
Malcolm raised his eyebrows but otherwise didn’t look shocked. “I told you he was a liar.”
“I’m not a liar, per se.” We both jumped, and Malcolm whirled around, arm outstretched like he was going to battle. When he saw it was Michael, he lowered his arm. “I tell you what I feel you need to hear.”
“She is in the bathtub. She is naked.” He pointed at Michael and then the door. “Get out.”
Our Other scowled. “I don’t see her that way. I watched her in utero. She is not a female I would ever find—”
Malcolm put his hand out in front of him. “So help me, turn around while I cover her up.”
Michael rolled his eyes and then complied. I really didn’t want to get out of the tub. I was warm and nothing hurt, probably thanks to Victoria. Malcolm grabbed a robe off of the bathroom door and hauled me out of the tub. Seeing the robe startled me. Where was I? This wasn’t my bathroom …
Michael turned around. “Now that we’re done with this nonsense, we were cut off too early. I want to make sure you understand the shadows are not gone. You cannot trust their word. They will realign and come at you. Kendall has shown what she can do. They will be ready.”
“So don’t let ourselves get sloppy. Fine. You couldn’t say that when she was dressed?”
“Despite what you think, we can’t easily pop in and out of here. I take my opportunities when I can.” He looked at me. “Well done, Kendall.”
He left us as he’d come, suddenly and with no warning. I took a deep breath, leaning against the wall. Malcolm walked to me, and then wrapping his arms around me tightly. “You feeling warm?”
“Yes.”
His breath tickled my cheek when he kissed my temple. “You scared me a little bit.”
“Could you do something for me?”
His heartbeat soothed me as much as his hands on my back. “Yes.”
“That ghost you carry around? The man who killed us? Let him go. Send him on. I don’t want to see him anymore. Can you do that? For you as much as me?”
He didn’t answer right away, and I didn’t push him. I wasn’t going to make this less than it was. Malcolm brought the man who’d murdered him with him everywhere he went like a sick, deranged lovee. I wanted it out of our lives.
“You know I killed him, right? It was one of the first things I did when I got to America. I did it for you. I’m not a good man. You should know. I killed him, and then I didn’t let him move on. I grabbed his energy, and I held on, and I’ve forced him to trail behind me ever since.”
I didn’t pull out of his embrace. “I wish you hadn’t done that. What a burden you’ve been carrying, both literally and figuratively.”
“I took his life.”
He wanted a reaction from me he wasn’t going to get. I neither felt scandalized nor angry at him. I wasn’t afraid of him. “He took yours. And mine. Do you need me to forgive you? That’s not my job. As far as I’m co
ncerned, he got what he deserved. I’m not Mother Theresa. He killed me, too. I’d rather not see him around. Get rid of him.”
“Okay.” He flicked his wrist. “He’ll be in here shortly. Give him a second. I left him in the car.”
Neither of us moved. Malcolm was going to send away our murderer in the bathroom. He’d also confessed to killing someone to, in the bathroom. It was quite a bathroom. “Where are we?”
“This is Block’s house. He lived the closest. I thought timing was essential. I can’t say I’ve ever been in his master bathroom before.”
The ghost appeared in the room. He floated between us. I remembered him well, even though I tried not to notice him when he was around. He’d raised his gun and shot us in our stomachs, leaving us there to bleed out while he laughed. Then he’d buried our bodies in the ground. My parents had never known what had happened to us.
“How did you kill him?” My powers turned on. They were weak; I wasn’t at full form yet. Still, my body didn’t like the ghost this close. I didn’t see any bullet marks on him. Generally speaking, I avoided trying to figure out how every ghost I encountered had died. This one didn’t have any visible marks. “Did you poison him?”
“I scared him to death. Took him a second, but then he remembered me. He was utterly terrified. Had a heart attack. I left him there on the ground to die. I didn’t call for help.”
Wait. What? “Um. That’s not exactly what you said. You didn’t kill him. He had a heart attack.”
“Honey—” My son ran through the door of the bathroom, stopping whatever he would have said. Grayson breathed hard. My kids were here?
“Mom. There’s a ghost. I feel it.” Grayson pointed at the ice cream man. “Don’t worry. I got this.”
He swung his arms around in the strange movement he’d done in the backyard. One second the ghost was there; the next my son sent it from the house to wherever it would go next. I covered my mouth in shock. That ghost held a tremendous amount of angst for Malcolm. Grayson had just usurped him on clearing it. I looked between the two of them. Oh hell. What was going to happen now?