Chapter 48
The start of the Christmas holidays brought the first spell of truly cold weather blustering in. The roads stayed slushy with half-frozen rain, and the skies remained overcast with dark clouds.
Samara was just relieved to have made it through midterms. Keeping her mind on her classes had been a struggle, and she was concerned about some of her grades, especially in Physics. When the scores were posted, she was shocked to see that she had made an A, bringing her overall course grade up to a B-. She'd even finished top of the class in the mid-year physical fitness assessment, surprising both herself and Coach Cottlebum.
She sat at her dining room table reading the chapters Mr. Higgs had assigned over the holidays. Her eyes skimmed over equations that described time dependent and non-linear relativity. It was very strange, but it almost made sense. When she closed her eyes, the patterns seemed to roll themselves out in her imagination. She shook her head and snapped the book closed. Lucian must have been the best tutor ever.
She crossed her legs underneath her and hugged her arms around herself. The house smelled delicious. A mix of spices intermingled in the air, and she could see their Christmas tree twinkling beside the fire place. Dina had been cooking at an almost manic pace since the holidays began, alternating between baked goods and elaborate dinners, and at the moment she was attempting to make a four foot tree out of pastry.
As Samara watched a cream puff fell off the middle of the tree, rolled across the floor, and bumped into her shoe. "What is that?" she asked.
"It's a croque en bouche!" Dina said animatedly. "It's French."
"It's kind of big."
Dina rolled her eyes playfully at Samara. "I know," she said. "It's going to be the centerpiece at the community Christmas luncheon." She flapped her hands in exasperation as a second pastry rolled down the tree and over the edge of the counter. "Unless all the cream puffs fall onto the floor!"
Samara made a noncommittal noise as she picked the pastries up and dropped them into the garbage. Dina's face was flushed and loose tendrils of hair escaped her bun and hung around her face. Her mother's behavior was bizarre, but it was better than the alternative. She'd been afraid that the holidays would throw her mother back into a depression. She would rather be picking pastries up off the floor than trying to coax her out of bed. "Do you need any help?"
"No." Dina stepped back and eyed the tree form. "I need more eggs." She grabbed her purse off the floor and rummaged through it, producing two twenties that she handed to Samara.
Samara eyed the bills in her hand. "How many eggs do you want?" she asked.
"Twenty dozen maybe?" Dina mused. "Or twenty-two?" She tapped a finger on her chin thoughtfully. "Just get twenty-five dozen, to be on the safe side, and a gallon of heavy cream."
"So three hundred eggs and a gallon of cream."
"Yes!" Dina nodded her head decisively and pressed another twenty into Samara's hand. "While you're out getting that, I'm going to start the caramel sauce."
Samara grabbed her keys off the counter and stuck them in her pocket. "Is it okay if I do a little Christmas shopping while I'm out? I'm not finished yet."
"Fine," Dina mumbled as she attempted to pull apart the sticky pages of a cookbook on the counter. "I've got enough to keep me busy for a while."
Samara slipped out the kitchen door and went into her room to get some shopping money. She pulled a few bills out of the top drawer of her dresser and counted out twenty six dollars. She stuffed the cash into the pocket of her jeans. It wasn't a lot, but it was probably enough for some sort of kitchen gadget. She had already exchanged gifts with Carin and Bethanny before Christmas break started, so her mom's present was the last one she had to purchase.
"I'm leaving," she called as she walked through the living room to the front door. She didn't hear any kind of response from the kitchen and knew Dina was back in her own world. She probably didn't even realize she was alone in the kitchen.
Samara took a deep breath as she locked the front door behind her and picked her way carefully down the icy driveway to her car. The temperamental weather had kept her indoors, and she was glad to have an excuse to leave the house. She had to go to two grocery stores to find twenty-five dozen eggs. The stores were bustling with last minute shoppers, and Samara was grateful that Dina hadn't had a longer list. Many of the shelves were empty, and she considered herself lucky to not have to drive across town to a third store.
She carefully loaded the eggs and cream into the floorboard of the car, then drove toward Bed, Bath, & Beyond. She was trying to decide if she could afford a kitchen scale, when she felt the car begin to shudder. The steering wheel jerked in her hand, and she heard a loud pop and then a grinding sound from beneath the car. She eased onto the shoulder of the road and waited for a break in the traffic zipping past before she opened her door and got out of the car.
Chapter 49
Jack watched Samara walk around the car. She disappeared from view as she squatted down to examine the flat, then opened the passenger door and began digging through the seat console searching for her cell phone. She ducked her head below the dashboard and he wondered what she would do next. Normally he would expect to see tears, but she was refreshingly unpredictable.
Instead she slammed the passenger door shut and walked around to the back of the car. He watched in amusement as she popped the trunk and hoisted out a large metal jack. She held it awkwardly, and he wondered if she even knew how to use it. She seemed determined to wrestle it into submission and shoved it underneath the edge of the car near the flat before she returned to the trunk and tugged out a spare tire and a tire iron.
He was sure she lacked the necessary brute force to actually change the tire, but her determination was admirable. Time to come to the rescue, he thought. He pulled into the street and cruised to a slow stop behind her car. He flashed a warm smile in her direction and rolled down his passenger window. "Can I give you a hand?"
Chapter 50
Samara sat in Jack's car and watched him change her tire with effortless ease. She had been surprised but relieved when he pulled up behind her on the road. He still made her nervous, but without her cell phone she was stranded. Accepting his help was far less frightening than hiking down the road alone or taking help from a stranger.
At first she had refused to stay in the car, and he'd played along. He had shown her how to remove a lug nut, and then stepped back to let her try. He allowed her several attempts, giving her the dignity of working up a sweat before he gallantly took the tire iron from her hand and declared that she was freezing, ushered her to his car, and insisted that she stay there while he finished changing the tire.
She pressed her hands flat against the tan leather seats and was impressed in spite of herself. She could feel heat warming her, not only from the vents in the dashboard, but also from inside the seats. The car was immaculately clean, and the interior was somehow dim even though it was the middle of the day.
Jack had taken his jacket off and laid it over the hood of the car while he worked. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt, and with each turn of the crank his muscular arms flexed. She tried not to stare, averting her eyes to watch cars passing by, but she couldn't help peeking over at him as he pulled the flat tire off and carried it to her trunk with one hand.
Maybe I misjudged him, she thought. He had dated a lot of girls, there was no denying that, but they threw themselves at him. And it wasn't his fault that he made her so tongue-tied. She couldn't pinpoint exactly what he had ever done to make her uncomfortable. He had always been courteous to her. In fact, stopping to help her after she had turned him down twice was more than she could ever have expected.
She had a quick flash of memory and heard Lucian's voice, "You know he's not a nice person." Had he told the truth? There was obviously animosity between them. She had trusted Lucian because she thought he cared about her. That didn't seem to be true, so maybe what he said about Jack wasn't true either, at
least not completely. Maybe, she thought, he finds Jack threatening.
She considered the idea as Jack finished tightening the lug nuts and lowered her car back to the ground. He sensed her gaze and looked up, giving her a little wave. She could see a light sheen of sweat on his face despite the cold, and he had a smudge of dirt on his cheek. He was indisputably good looking. It would be easy to see how a rivalry could exist.
Jack loaded the tools back into her trunk on top of the flat, and then opened Samara's door. "Give me your keys," he said, "and I'll start your car so it can warm up for a bit before you go."
Samara pulled her keys out of her pocket, and he trotted back to her car and cranked the engine. When he got back into his car he handed her a cell phone. "Is this yours?"
"Yes!" Samara cried. "I thought I looked for it everywhere. Where did you find it?"
"It was in the floorboard." He shrugged. "It must've been stuck under the seat and slid out when I shifted the car."
Samara pressed it to her chest. "I lose it everywhere," she confided. "I was afraid that I left it at the grocery store."
"I saw that you'd been to the store," Jack said. "Did you know you have a truly excessive amount of eggs in your car?"
"I know," Samara laughed. "They're for my mom. She's making some sort of huge pastry tree for the community Christmas luncheon."
"Sounds delicious."
I should ask him to go with me, Samara thought. I don't have any reason not to. She felt a pang as she thought about Lucian. Her heart still longed for him, but he'd made his choice and she was going to have to move on.
"Are you still interested in that tour?" She let the words rush out of her mouth before she could change her mind. "We could go to the luncheon together, and then I could show you around." She dropped her eyes when he hesitated and kicked herself for being so forward. "If you're still interested," she stammered.
He gave a low chuckle and she burned with indignation. "You can just say no," she snapped. "You don't have to laugh at me."
"I was trying to remember what day the luncheon is," Jack said in a soothing voice. "And I'm just laughing because you're so cute."
Samara could tell he was amused at her discomfort and wished that she could hide her feelings more easily. "It's next week," she said. "The Tuesday before Christmas."
"Sadly," he said, "I'll be out of town, and to be honest I don't really need a tour guide anymore. But," he added, "there's a party on Saturday night, if you'd like to go with me."
She stared at him in surprise, unsure whether she should accept his offer. "Third time's the charm," he coaxed, sensing her hesitation.
There's no reason not to, Samara reminded herself. She didn't usually go to parties, but maybe it was time for a change. As Carin would say, 'Carpe diem and all that.' "Okay," she said, "that sounds fun."
"Your car should be warmed up by now," Jack said, "and I'm actually late for an appointment, so I guess we should say goodbye. I'll come pick you up at 8:30 on Saturday."
Samara nodded. She was already having doubts about going out with Jack, but there was no way she could gracefully backtrack. "I'll see you then."
She was distracted on the drive home. She couldn't decide if going out with Jack was a huge mistake, considering that it was Lucian that she really wanted. She refused to listen to the niggling part of her that whispered that just maybe she was trying to get back at Lucian. It's for the best, she told herself firmly. It will help me move on.
She was surprised when she pulled into the driveway. She was barely able to remember how she got there, and she had forgotten all about Dina's kitchen scales.
Chapter 51
"Did you have fun?" Desiree asked. She reminded Jack of a cat. She was sitting with her legs crossed at the knee, but her top foot was rocking rapidly, revealing her agitation.
"Of course," he said. He walked past her to the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of orange juice. He tipped his head back and took a large swig straight from the carton.
"I don't know what purpose you think this is going to serve, toying with a little girl. It's really beneath you."
"I'm bored," Jack said. He threw the carton back onto the shelf and let the door to the fridge slam shut. "She's the perfect diversion, and it will drive Lucian mad.
"Can you believe," he grumbled, "that after all that I still had to persuade her to come to the party with me. I thought she'd be falling into my arms, but no. Apparently only the Dominion is good enough for her."
"Well thank Abbadon she agreed to go," Desiree said, "because I don't think I could stand any more of your sad little planning and plotting. Take her out, see if she's anything special at all, which I doubt, and then maybe you can get over it."
"I still think you're jealous," Jack teased. He saw her foot jerk angrily in response. "You don't have to worry. There's no one quite like you."
Desiree narrowed her eyes. "What about you?" she jabbed. "Even if you can make her like you, you'll always know you were second best."
Jack growled at her but she ignored him. She grabbed her cell phone and threw it at his head, chuckling as he swiped it out of the air. "Guess you better call the caterer," she said. "You've got a party to plan."
Chapter 52
Samara was in bed when the phone rang. The digital readout on her alarm clock told her that it was 11:45. She grabbed for the phone before it could ring a second time and pressed it to her ear. "What is it?" she mumbled. "I'm going to see you in like eight hours."
She burrowed into her pillow, expecting words to begin pouring into her ear, but heard only silence. "Carin? Hello?"
She was shocked to hear Lucian's voice, low and urgent. "Don't go out with him."
Almost six weeks had passed since he last spoke to her, but the sound of his voice brought back every bit of desire that had been so thinly buried. She clutched the phone in shock, not even able to register the words he was saying until he repeated them. "Samara? Did you hear me? Please don't go out with him."
She struggled to pair the words with the burning hope that he was calling because he missed her. "What?"
"I know Jack asked you out," Lucian said. "I'm begging you not to go."
"How do you know?" she asked. Her voice was blurry with sleep, and she shook her head in confusion. "I haven't told anyone."
"I just do," he answered, "and this is a mistake."
She waited for him to say more, but as the seconds ticked by she sat up in the bed. She was coming to the slow realization that he wasn't calling to apologize for his behavior, or to ask for forgiveness, or declare his feelings for her. He wasn't doing any of the things she had imagined since they last spoke.
Disappointment crashed over her. He's not calling because he misses me, she thought. Her mind flashed to Jack, overflowing with smooth charisma, and she felt a spark of indignant fury ignite within her. This wasn't about her at all. It was about the stupid rivalry he had with his stepbrother.
"Do you have any idea what time it is?" she spat into the phone. "How dare you call me in the middle of the night and tell me what to do!"
"You shouldn't do this," he pressed. "He's pulling you into something that has nothing to do with you. Call him. Tell him you've changed your mind."
"No!" she sputtered furiously. She tried to keep her voice low so she wouldn't wake Dina, but it grew louder as she spoke. "I'm so stupid! I was thinking that you were calling to tell me that you missed me, that you realized you were wrong, but you're just calling because you're jealous. You made your choice to be out of my life completely. Now stay out!"
She was trembling with rage when she slammed the phone down, and she pummeled her pillow with her fists. When she stopped she was panting heavily, and she closed her eyes and tried to slow her heartbeat. She was in the middle of her second deep breath when the phone rang again. She stared down at it in disbelief. Surely, she thought, he's not stupid enough to call me back.
She grabbed the phone in the middle of the second
ring. Her heart was still racing and she could feel a flush of heat roll from the top of her head to the soles of her feet. "Hello?"
"I'm sorry," Lucian said insistently. "I know this seems inappropriate and hurtful, but I'm begging you to trust me. He's playing you."
Samara felt hot pinpricks behind her eyelids as tears rushed in. "Why is it so hard for you to believe that someone else might want me?"
Lucian sighed. "I don't find it hard to believe someone would want you," he said. "I find it hard to believe that more people aren't falling over themselves to get to you because you're a captivating person. But Jack doesn't want you. He's trying to find a way to get to me, and he knows you mean more to me than anything else in the world."
Samara pressed the heel of her hand against her eyes and tried to keep the tears from spilling over. "That's obviously not true," she said. She cursed silently as she heard her voice crack. "If you cared about me, then you wouldn't do this to me. You wouldn't call me in the middle of the night and try to keep a hold on me when I'm doing my best to let you go."
She realized that she felt exhausted. All of her anger evaporated, leaving a gaping pain in its place. "I can't talk to you any more," she whispered. "It hurts too much. If you ever cared about me, even as just a friend, please don't call me again." She pressed the end button on the phone and lay back against her pillow. Tears burned their way down her cheeks, and she stared at the ceiling until she finally fell into a restless sleep.
Chapter 53
The memory of Lucian's late night call overshadowed any lingering reservations Samara had about dating Jack. She thought about Lucian more than ever, and when she closed her eyes at night it was his face, not Jack's, that she saw, but she refused to yield to her feelings or his request. Instead, she drew a perverse satisfaction from the knowledge that it bothered him.