So, I couldn’t say I blamed him when he let loose at the bar the other night.
I’d just pulled off the highway when my phone rang. Quickly glancing at the screen, I realized it was Ginnifer, one of the nurses at the hospital. She was the only co-worker I’d really confided in since Simon publicly announced our relationship.
It was odd for her to be calling me outside of work, though. It made me wonder if I’d left something behind.
“Hey, Ginny. What’s up?”
“Where are you?”
“I just dropped Brendan off down in North Kingstown. Headed home to crack open a bottle of wine and do laundry. Exciting night.” I chuckled. “What’s up?”
“Okay, you’re driving. Maybe you should call me when you get home.”
“Why? What can’t you tell me now?”
“Can you pull over for a minute?”
My heart started pounding. She was still at the hospital, and Simon was now on shift. I immediately began to worry. “Did something happen? Is Simon okay?”
“Everyone’s fine. It’s nothing like that.”
“Okay…”
Pulling into the parking lot of a karate studio right off the main road, I touched my hand to my chest and could feel my heart thumping against it. “I’m parked. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I was doing some shopping on the East Side today before work tonight, and I happened to walk by this café. I saw Simon there with a woman.”
My stomach sank.
“What? Are you sure it was him?”
“Positive. I stood in the window for a while to confirm it. He was pretty deep into a conversation and didn’t notice me standing there.”
“So, they were merely talking?”
“He wasn’t doing anything wrong, per se, but I just wanted to make sure you know what I saw. I thought it was odd. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I just couldn’t go about my night without at least telling you.”
The nausea was getting worse.
“Have you seen Simon tonight in the ER?” I asked.
“Yeah. I’ve treated a few patients with him, and honestly, he seems…off. Really downtrodden, not his normal, chipper self.”
“What did she look like…this woman?”
“She had long, dark hair—looked Italian. Attractive. Obviously I wouldn’t be concerned if he was having lunch with some ugly old lady.”
“What else can you tell me?”
Her voice sounded muffled. Or was it my brain?
“She was wearing a navy dress and bright red lipstick.”
Bright red lipstick.
My voice was shaky. “Anything else?”
“No. That was it. Like I said, they were talking. They both had coffees. Honestly, it makes me sick to be starting any trouble for you. You seemed so happy that last time we spoke.”
“Don’t you dare feel bad. I would have done the same thing. I’ll talk to him and get to the bottom of it.”
After we hung up, I couldn’t move. It was like the shock had paralyzed me, preventing me from knowing how to even start the car.
In my heart, I felt that Simon would never do anything to hurt me. But when he’d checked in with me today, he said he spent the afternoon catching up on sleep, nothing more. So, even if this woman was just some friend or acquaintance that he’d never told me about, the fact remained that he had lied to me.
I drove home in a daze, barely remembering how I had gotten there.
Should I text him?
I honestly didn’t know what to do. Deciding to pour myself that wine, I started to gulp it down unusually fast. I mindlessly made my way down to the basement and put in a load of laundry, not even paying attention to whether I had mixed whites with colors.
A text came in, interrupting the monotony. It was from Simon.
Simon: I love you so much.
That was so random, that it came in this moment as if he could sense my strife. Tears started to fall. What if Ginny was wrong, and I ended up accusing him of something he didn’t do? I valued the trust that he and I’d developed in our relationship. Even questioning him about something like this would damage that, regardless of what actually happened.
My brain was going a mile a minute. If I could only look in his eyes, maybe I would find the answer. He wouldn’t be off his shift until six tomorrow morning. I felt like I was going to burst if I didn’t talk to him soon.
Bridget: Can you wake me when you get home in the morning? I really need to talk to you about something.
The phone rang almost immediately. Simon sounded concerned. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m fine, physically. But there’s something I need to talk to you about. It’s important. So please just wake me if I’m not up.”
As much as I tried to hide my freaking out, he knew from my tone. “What’s going on, Bridget?”
“I’d rather not talk about it on the phone.”
I could hear the worry in his voice. “Let me see if I can get someone to cover me. Stay where you are. Don’t go anywhere, okay?”
“Alright.”
About a half-hour later, Simon sent me another text.
Simon: Managed to get Dr. Lowry to fill in for me through the rest of the night. I’ll have to cover for him tomorrow though. Just got in the car. On my way. Be home soon.
Abandoning my laundry, I made my way back upstairs and stayed huddled on the couch while I waited for him.
Fifteen minutes. He couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes away. I felt like I had to cherish these last minutes of hope as scary as they were. Because if it turned out that he lied to me, I might not be able to ever fully trust him again.
When the door opened, I didn’t move. Simon looked like he’d literally run home from Providence. Out of breath and with his hair mussed up, he seemed more frazzled than I’d ever seen him.
“You need to tell me what’s going on.”
I came right out with it.
“Were you with a woman today at a café on the East Side?”
He looked like my words had knocked even more wind out of him.
“How did you know that?”
“So, you were?”
“Answer me. How did you know that?”
“Ginnifer saw you.” I was starting to cry. “Who is she?”
“She’s the plaintiff in the lawsuit.”
My pulse slowed a little. It hadn’t occurred to me that the meeting might have had something to do with the deposition. But still, why hadn’t he mentioned it to me, then? He’d specifically said he was catching up on rest and never uttered a single word about a meeting with a woman.
Wiping my nose with my sleeve, I said, “You lied to me. You said you were home all afternoon.”
Simon’s blue eyes darkened in a way I’d never observed before. It felt like my entire world was closing in on me as he knelt down onto his knees in front of the couch and placed both of his hands on my shoulders.
He looked deeply into my eyes when he said, “First off, I need to tell you that there’s absolutely nothing going on between me and the woman in the café. Her name is Gina Delmonico, and it was the first time I’d ever spoken directly to her.”
My chest grew heavier. “Gina…Gina Delmonico? The woman who Ben worked with? The one who was in the car when he…when he died?”
Simon nodded. “Yes.”
“I’m confused. Why were you with her? What’s going on, Simon?”
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before speaking. “What I’m about to tell you is probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life.” When he noticed my hand shaking, he said, “Please don’t be scared. We’re fine. We’re so good, my love. I love you so much. This doesn’t have anything to do with us, but it has to do with Ben.”
“Ben? What about Ben?”
“In the course of the deposition, I realized that the car accident we were discussing was Ben’s accident. I was apparently working the ER at
Warwick Hospital the exact night he was killed. The woman who is suing the hospital for her injuries is Gina Delmonico, Ben’s passenger. We’ve never spoken about his accident in detail. I hadn’t even realized that there was someone in the car with him.”
“Yes. Gina was his co-worker. He was driving her home the night of the accident. They were working late, and her car didn’t start. I’ve always felt badly for not sending her a card or calling her. It’s just…I was in shock when it happened. I knew she went to the ER, but his office said it was nothing too serious. I never followed up.”
Simon frowned, but said nothing.
“So that’s why you lied to me? You didn’t want to mention that the woman who is suing you is Gina because…because you didn’t want to upset me by bringing up the accident?”
The way Simon looked at me, I knew that wasn’t it. His face was etched with pain, and he was struggling to say anything at all.
“Simon,” I whispered. “What’s going on?”
“I’m so sorry, luv.” He just kept shaking his head and looking down. When he finally looked me in the eyes, I held my breath to brace myself. “Gina and Ben were having an affair. She admitted to it during the questioning at her deposition.”
Even though I was still sitting, the room started to spin as I grabbed onto Simon for balance. I was staring right at him—his mouth was moving, sound was coming out, yet I couldn’t hear the words that he said. It felt like I was underwater, everything was so muffled. He paused and tears welled in his eyes. Holding my head with two hands as if I was fragile and he was worried I might break, his voice broke through. “She has a daughter, Bridget. She’s three. Gina doesn’t think she’s Ben’s daughter, but she isn’t positive. Apparently, she also had a boyfriend at the time.”
He looked alarmed after a minute. It might have been because I had grown pale. The room started to spin faster and faster.
“Bridget? Breathe, baby. Breathe. Shit!”
I woke up with a cool rag on my head and an extremely nervous looking doctor holding my hand. “You scared the living shit out of me, luv.”
“What happened?” I was lightheaded and felt a bit queasy.
Simon went from nervous to full-blown panicked. “Please tell me you remember the conversation we just had. I can’t have it again.”
It all came back to me.
Ben.
Gina.
An affair.
A child.
For a moment, I’d thought I might need to get up off the couch so that Simon could lie down. “No, no. I remember. I guess I passed out?”
“You did. And you scared the life out of me.”
I reached up and touched Simon’s cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Just tell me you’re okay. How do you feel? Physically, I mean.” He picked up my wrist and began to take my heart rate. Still not satisfied, he felt my forehead for a fever, lifted my eyelids to get a better look at my eyes, and then began randomly patting me all over.”
“What are you doing?”
“Checking to see if you’re okay.”
“Did I fall?”
“Not really. You were sitting up, and I caught you in my arms and laid you down on the couch.”
“So, what are you looking for?”
Simon stopped patting my legs and looked up at me. He seemed to realize for the first time that he was acting a little crazy. He shook his head. “I have no fucking idea.”
Even feeling like the world as I knew it had just crumbled before my eyes, this man could make me smile. “I’m fine. You know I have a tendency to pass out.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes. I promise.” Although I was dizzy still, I sat up to reassure the concerned doctor. I also needed to know more information. “Tell me everything, Simon. I want to know every word that she said—anything you can remember.”
“Oh my, God!” Bridget bolted upright from the bed. It was after two in the morning, and we’d just settled in after talking for hours. I’d told her everything I knew. It was terrible to put her through that pain. There’d been a lot of pacing and yelling, but she hadn’t passed out again on me. I thought she was finally starting to fall asleep.
I sat up. “What? What’s the matter?”
“A blowjob. She was giving him a fucking blowjob!” Since I’d shared what the attorney had told me the hospital’s review panel had discovered—before we had any idea the receiver of said blowjob was Ben—I hadn’t bothered to reiterate that part of the story tonight. I was hoping she wouldn’t remember.
“I’m sorry. I was hoping you’d forget that.”
“My husband died over a blowjob. Maybe if he was paying attention to the road, my son would still have a father.”
I didn’t know what to say or how to make her feel better. She had bounced back and forth between angry and upset all night. “Come here.” I coaxed her back down to bed and rubbed her shoulders, attempting to soothe her. She was quiet for a few minutes, and I thought perhaps she was drifting off.
“Simon?” Her voice was a whisper.
“Yes, luv?”
“Was I not enough?”
I stared up at the ceiling and cursed that bastard. If you weren’t fucking dead already… Ben and I were going to have a long goddamn talk soon, but right at the moment, Bridget was more important. She needed my reassurance. I gently turned her so she was lying on her back.
“You’re not enough, Bridget. Enough is the minimum amount that it takes to satisfy something. That doesn’t even begin to describe what you are—you’re everything. You’re not the fucking minimum—you’re the maximum. What he did is not your fault. Cheating isn’t about the person who was cheated on. It’s about the cheater—his own insecurities. Think about it. Did you ever cheat on a test in school? Everyone has. Why? Because you were afraid you would fail the test—afraid you weren’t smart enough or hadn’t worked hard enough to earn a good grade. This is about him—not about you.” I hesitated before continuing, but thought she needed to hear it. “I know you loved him, and he’s Brendan’s father, but he didn’t deserve you. People don’t deserve to have things they don’t respect. He didn’t fucking deserve you, Bridget.”
Tears streamed down her face. “How can you sound so sure?”
“Because I am, luv. I’ve been insecure about having a relationship my whole life—meeting you changed that. You’ve made me better, more secure than ever, not the opposite. Love makes you stronger, not weaker.”
The next morning, Bridget slept late. I made some calls and had just finished cooking bacon and eggs when she walked into the kitchen. Her face was puffy from a night of crying, but she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Usually women became less pretty to me as I got to know them. What attracted me to them initially on the outside, dulled when I got to know the person inside. With Bridget it was just the opposite.
“Morning, beautiful.”
“Coffee.”
I smiled. “Coming right up. Sit. You didn’t eat anything last night. You’re going to have some of my eggs even if I have to feed you myself.”
Bridget sat at the kitchen table, and I fixed her coffee before plating more food than she could possibly eat and joining her with my own heaping dish.
“I have to be at the hospital in an hour,” I said.
“Oh.” She frowned. “That’s right. I’m sorry. I made you come home last night, and now you’re on today instead of being off.”
“It’s fine. I just hate to leave you alone today.”
“I’ll be fine. I need to pick up Brendan from his sleepover soon, anyway.”
I would’ve rather have eased into things, but I didn’t have the luxury of time today. “I made a few calls this morning.”
“Oh?”
“DDC is a chain of labs that does in-home DNA testing. You pick up the kit, swab the cheeks of the people who you want to test, and drop the kit back to the lab. There’s one in Providence, Cranston, and Warwick. You can get the r
esults back in three days, right online. I didn’t think you’d want to use the lab at work for privacy.”
“Oh, yeah. You’re right. I hadn’t given any thought to the logistics.”
“You can swab both children without the parents’ DNA. The place I found does more than the average sixteen-marker, standard DNA test. So, it’s reliable without a parent to test against.”
“Wow. Okay. I’ll need to swab Brendan then, too. Of course, that makes sense. I just hadn’t thought that far ahead.”
“I was thinking maybe you could bring him to the ER when I’m working, and I could take his vitals and swab his mouth. Tell him it’s a physical.”
“Yes, that would work,” she said. “He’s comfortable at the ER since I work there. He’s also been a patient when he hurt his arm playing soccer, so it won’t seem too strange.”
“Okay, that’s good.”
Bridget had only taken two bites of her food. I sipped my coffee and watched as she pushed food around her plate. “You know I don’t like a bony arse, so you better eat a little more than that.”
She forced a smile. “I don’t have an appetite.”
“Two more pieces of bacon. Get some protein in your body, at least.”
She pouted, but picked up the bacon.
Looking at the time on my phone, I knew I was going to have to jump in the shower soon. I cleared my throat, hating to even mention the name. “I also texted Gina this morning. I’m going to pop over to the DDC office in Providence at lunch today and pick up the kit. She’s agreed to meet me this afternoon during my dinner break, and I’ll do a quick swab on her daughter.”
Bridget nodded but then went quiet for a while. I thought perhaps she’d changed her mind or that I’d overstepped. “Last night you said you wanted to get the testing done as soon as possible. Do you still want to do that? It’s not a rush. Maybe you should take some time before moving forward. It’s a lot to take in at once.”
“No. I need to know as soon as possible.”